So you love her, and you're starting to see a future. How do
you make absolutely sure she would make the right
partner?
Here are some questions you should ask her before you pop
the question.

1. Money
Ask her: What would you do if you won N70,000,000 in the
lottery? You must find out her financial priorities. One of the
biggest problems couples have is money and, specifically,
differences in styles of spending and attitudes about their
budget. You'll learn how she views money, saving, and
long-term investing. Will all of it go toward cars and trips,
or most toward retirement? It’s not essential that you share
the same investment strategies. What’s important is to use
the conversation to prompt a discussion about financial
behavior: how you pay bills, invest the year-end bonus, or
decide on major purchases. If your attitudes don't mesh,
now's the time to get the issues on the table and build a
consensus.

2. Her Family
Ask her: What's your favorite holiday? How does your
family spend it? It's important to learn about her family
roots. Where you spend the holidays can be a huge political
issue. The underlying issue is whose family comes first, and
that stands for who has the power in the relationship.

3. Religion
Ask her: Do you believe in God? This helps you find out
how compatible your faiths and religious rituals are. In a
study of 120 married couples, those who shared religious
holiday rituals reported more marital satisfaction than the
pairs who practiced holiday rituals separately. It's not
necessarily the religion itself that’s key—though the
particular religion you practice can certainly be a huge issue
with her family—it's all the things that go with it. When you
engage in celebrations and rituals, there's usually a lot of
planning involved, something to look forward to that’s
meaningful to discuss.

4. Her Work
Ask her: What's your dream job? Where would you most
like to live? You need to know her goals, and how far she's
willing to go to reach them. Just asking shows support for
her career, an important factor. Those who felt they had
more support had greater satisfaction than those who felt
unsupported. It's also a good time to find out how far she's
willing to move away from her family. It’s a very under-
appreciated area of stress — where are you going to live,
whose family are you going to live near — yours or hers?.

5. Your Work
Ask her: What was your dad's work schedule like? You
need to find out whether she's already lived with a man
who had the same work ethic and schedule as yours.
Maybe her dad worked a 7-to-3 shift every day of his life,
came home and played with the kids until they went to bed,
and never worked weekends. Maybe he owned a business
and set his own hours so he was always home for dinner.
But your job—or your future job—may require late meetings,
60-hour workweeks, and business trips. And that can put
stress on a relationship.

6. Interests and Dreams
Ask her: How do you envision your life in 5 years? This will
help you find out whether she wants to be a career girl or a
stay-at-home mom or a mom with a career. You should
know whether she expects to live in a big house or an
apartment in the city. More and more research shows that
the "opposites attract" notion is a myth. Successful couples
usually have more similar priorities than not. A couple has
to have similar goals and a long-term plan, worked out
together, to reach these goals. And, even more important, a
similar tolerance for risk and sacrifice. If you don’t share the
same values, they’ll be a constant source of conflict in
terms of how you spend your time and money.

7. Discipline Style
Ask her: What do you think of spanking as
punishment? You need to hear her thoughts on disciplining
kids. We assume you've worked out whether you both want
children, and maybe even how many. (You have done this,
right?) But how you'll discipline them is a topic that's often
overlooked. Bring it up the next time you see an stubborn,
unruly child at a restaurant. Ask her how she'd handle it
and how she was disciplined as a child. Either we tend to
follow the way we were raised, or, if something was
objectionable about the way we were raised, we do the
opposite. Different parenting styles can cause the most
strain on a marriage because they can be a daily, even
hourly, source of conflict.

8. Genetics
Ask her: What do your parents like to drink? It's important
to know if there's a history of alcoholism in her family.
Health problems like depression and alcoholism have a
strong genetic component. If her mother had depression or
her father was a chronic alcoholic, there's a good chance it
could creep up and become a problem. It's not a
relationship killer, but talking about hereditary health risks
early will make it easier to discuss the same conflicts should
they pop up in your relationship.

9. Your Potential In-Laws
Ask her: How have your parents reacted to your previous
boyfriends? You should find out whether they'll think the
current boyfriend is good enough for their little princess
(and whether they'll pay big bucks for the wedding). If her
parents don't approve, there's a potential problem. Not that
that's necessarily a deal breaker. Who are you marrying,
her or them? What's more important is to learn something
about your girlfriend by how she responds. Is she the kind
of girl who wants to please Mommy and Daddy? Or is she
secure enough with herself to make her own life decisions?

10. Her Father
Ask her: What was your relationship with your father like?
This helps you find out her attitude toward men. Especially
toward the one who mattered most (before you). If her
father was distant and cold, she may seek male approval. If
her father was abusive or a cheat, she may have trouble
trusting men. If there's any unfinished business in her
relationship with her father, it could manifest itself in your
relationship. When people get into serious relationships,
they tend to look to their mate to give them everything they
need. Couples get into trouble when they don't look closely
at these tendencies early on. You also should consider her
relationship with her mother, which could have the very
same implications. If she can’t pee without calling her
mother to tell her all the details, that’s not going to change
after you walk down the aisle.

11. And the Ultimate Question . . .
Finally, you need to ask yourself this: "Can I ask these
questions and have an honest, intelligent conversation with
this woman when we disagree?"
Because if you can't, none of her answers really matter.

Questions are reasonable, nice post

I think it should be 11 questions you should ask a dude

Uhmmm is a question for both male and female not only female

Nice post...so on point.
But it applies to guys also

Op.... nice post....
Just in case

@OP, Nice qweshionz..but is hard for the average Naija girl to relate to them..coz is gona hit her as a surprise..why? Bcoz she wasnt planning herself but planning the guy who has all this checked already...that is why most of this ladies here be screaming "the question is not only for ladies but for men too"

GWorld1:
Op.... nice post....
Just in case

Seconded.

GWorld1:
Op.... nice post....
Just in case

in case of?