often depicted in movies, wealthy people failing to meet up to expectations even among immediate members. in reacting to it, one may feel it is'nt as extreme as it is portrayed, but look around and you will find out it is the obvious reality. why? some people may only attribute that behavior as an act of wickedness but I feel there is more to it than what is observed. they are tightfisted when it comes to offering financial assistance to relatives.....I mean immediate and not distant relatives so to say, but the irony of it is, they see the needs of their friends as priority. they are Very comfortable purchasing alcohol for relatives that is the most they do, to go drink and die. they don't give fish to family members, talk more of teaching them how to fish.....strange.

lanxlot:
often depicted in movies, wealthy people failing to meet up to expectations even among immediate members. in reacting to it, one may feel it is'nt as extreme as it is portrayed, but look around and you will find out it is the obvious reality. why? some people may only attribute that behavior as an act of wickedness but I feel there is more to it than what is observed. they are tightfisted when it comes to offering financial assistance to relatives.....I mean immediate and not distant relatives so to say, but the irony of it is, they see the needs of their friends as priority. they are Very comfortable purchasing alcohol for relatives that is the most they do, to go drink and die. they don't give fish to family members, talk more of teaching them how to fish.....strange.

Are they obliged to meet people's expectations?

carefreewannabe:


Are they obliged to meet people's expectations?

yes. even if they don't give back to d society frm Which de emanated frm, one should xpet de help out their brothers and sisters....relatives when in need. but we don't see dat happening, at tyms.

lanxlot:
yes. even if they don't give back to d society frm Which de emanated frm, one should xpet de help out their brothers and sisters....relatives when in need. but we don't see dat happening.

This is a common problem with most Nigerians. Their "entitlement" mentality making them believe the whole world owes them a big favour. So much that there's a fine, albeit an almost non-existent line between them begging for help and demanding that "help" be rendered to them because they so deem it.

Refusal to acquiesce results in them almost swearing for you with trashy words like: Just pray you don't find yourself in a similar or worse situation as mine...

Mtcheew.

@ op: The man / woman who succeeds in making something of their life isn't an alien. They've got the same 1 head, 2 eyes, 10 fingers and 10 toes each - same as the beggar / demanding relative.

EfemenaXY:


This is a common problem with most Nigerians. Their "entitlement" mentality making them belie the whole world owes them a big favour. So much that there's a fine, albeit an almost non-existent line between them begging for help and demanding that "help" be rendered to them because they so deem it.

Refusal to acquiesce results in them almost swearing for you with trashy words like: Just pray you don't find yourself in a similar or worse situation as mine...

Mtcheew.

Exactly!

Entitlement mentality.

One of the reasons why there is so little progress in this country.

EfemenaXY:


This is a common problem with most Nigerians. Their "entitlement" mentality making them belie the whole world owes them a big favour. So much that there's a fine, albeit an almost non-existent line between them begging for help and demanding that "help" be rendered to them because they so deem it.

Refusal to acquiesce results in them almost swearing for you with trashy words like: Just pray you don't find yourself in a similar or worse situation as mine...

Mtcheew.

Sori to say bro......u ain't communicating.....clarify your point.

carefreewannabe:


Exactly!

Entitlement mentality.

One of the reasons why there is so little progress in this country.

Precisely.

Little progress and lots and lots of venom.

lanxlot:
yes. even if they don't give back to d society frm Which de emanated frm, one should xpet de help out their brothers and sisters....relatives when in need. but we don't see dat happening.

Whatever money I make, it is MY money! I worked for it. If I choose to share it, then because I want to and not because I have to.
And people with your attitude will NOT get ANYTHING from me. Same for lazy people who expect to take from those who work hard.

You have NO right to demand anything from anyone. You want money, go and find job.

lanxlot:
Sori to say bro......u ain't communicating.....clarify your point.

What don't you understand about my post? It's written in plain, straightforward, easy-to-understand English.

EfemenaXY:


Precisely.

Little progress and lots and lots of venom.

It is not only that Nigerians ask their relatives for money, which they really need.
Some of them will ask for money to buy 5 new pairs of shoes or the newest iPhone.

And they believe they have a right to it.

Do they even care how hard you work to make this money? No!
Have they ever considered that you have much money because you don't waste it like they would like to waste your money?
There is a reason why some people have money and others not.

it isn't about whether Or not they are entitled to d wealth accumulated by a brother, even if it is....I say yes o. dix is often a problem when a wealthy man dies and d wife n kids wud want to keep back all of their fathers possesions. m observing jux an exact situation. as it stands, neither d wife n children nor the extended family are at rest.

carefreewannabe:


Whatever money I make, it is MY money! I worked for it. If I choose to share it, then because I want to and not because I have to.
And people with your attitude will NOT get ANYTHING from me. Same for lazy people who expect to take from those who work hard.

You have NO right to demand anything from anyone. You want money, go and find job.

Lol!

Preach it sister!

It amuses me no end when this mentality is notched up higher. Getting married on credit. Begging / demanding the cake baker to make theirs on credit. One got told that she was an enemy of progress for refusing to "help". The soft-hearted lady bowed to the bride's demands.

Fast forward to many months later and she's still chasing them up for her payment. Oh...and she's now the evil one for wanting her money.

EfemenaXY:


Lol!

Preach it sister!

It amuses me no end when this mentality is notched up higher. Getting married on credit. Begging / demanding the cake baker to make theirs on credit. One got told that she was an enemy of progress for refusing to "help". The soft-hearted lady bowed to the bride's demands.

Fast forward to many months later and she's still chasing them up for her payment. Oh...and she's now the evil one for wanting her money.

Amazing.

lanxlot:
it isn't about whether Or not they are entitled to d wealth accumulated by a brother, even if it is....I say yes o. dix is often a problem when a wealthy man dies and d wife n kids wud want to keep back all of their fathers possesions. m observing jux an exact situation. as it stands, neither d wife n children nor the extended family are at rest.

Why is a brother entitled to his brother's wealth?

Hahaha.....dem 1 chop me o....u guys should pls take a closer look at what I wrote...if your own brother Or sister, Same Papa Same mama....dat Was what I meant by immediate family members....if d pson make am and you de in need make him nor help you out I think d picture is clearer nw....and forget about all these entitlement you'av been hammering On.

carefreewannabe:


Why is a brother entitled to his brother's wealth?

dats nt Ma point. My point is....I sense something sinister about it....y wud a pson wud'nt want to assist his own blood brother but wud willingly assist anoda( friend)

lanxlot:
dats nt Ma point. My point is....I sense something sinister about it....y wud a pson wud'nt want to assist his own blood brother but wud willingly assist anoda( friend)

Shouldn't the entitlement driven brother channel all his energy towards making it "big" himself, rather than size up whom his sibling chooses to assist?

What if the one whose already made it sees his demanding brother as one who only wants to party away like there's no tomorrow? And lives by the philosophy easy-come-easy-go?

While he sees the non-relative as a serious, down-to-earth entrepreneur with solid business ideas and good prospects?

You saying he should throw his money at the brother simply because they're related??

lanxlot:
often depicted in movies, wealthy people failing to meet up to expectations even among immediate members. in reacting to it, one may feel it is'nt as extreme as it is portrayed, but look around and you will find out it is the obvious reality. why? some people may only attribute that behavior as an act of wickedness but I feel there is more to it than what is observed. they are tightfisted when it comes to offering financial assistance to relatives.....I mean immediate and not distant relatives so to say, but the irony of it is, they see the needs of their friends as priority. they are Very comfortable purchasing alcohol for relatives that is the most they do, to go drink and die. they don't give fish to family members, talk more of teaching them how to fish.....strange.

from what I have observed, I have seen reasons why it is so easy for one to be like that. You find that those relatives are the closest in ones turbulent days, but more often than not fail to give a helping hand but rather watch and gossip if the individual can amount to any good, competing with him/her and all that. So it is very easy for one to drift away when one finally makes it

carefreewannabe:


Whatever money I make, it is MY money! I worked for it. If I choose to share it, then because I want to and not because I have to.
And people with your attitude will NOT get ANYTHING from me. Same for lazy people who expect to take from those who work hard.

You have NO right to demand anything from anyone. You want money, go and find job.

@ carefree, I object to d remark you made about My attitude. you missed the point.

They really don't owe them,except they were the ones who sent them through school.
It's worse with people abroad who are working so hard to make it and some people in Naija, sitting on their butts think they are entitled to the money.

EfemenaXY:


Shouldn't the entitlement driven brother channel all his energy towards making it "big" himself, rather than size up whom his sibling chooses to assist?

What if the one whose already made it sees his demanding brother as one who only wants to party away like there's no tomorrow? And lives by the philosophy easy-come-easy-go?

While he sees the non-relative as a serious, down-to-earth entrepreneur with solid business ideas and good prospects?

You saying he should throw his money at the brother simply because they're related??

dats it.....dats 1 point.....nw u copy.

mcdokwe:
from what I have observed, I have seen reasons why it is so easy for one to be like that. You find that those relatives are the closest in ones turbulent days, but more often than not fail to give a helping hand but rather watch and gossip if the individual can amount to any good, competing with him/her and all that. So it is very easy for one to drift away when one finally makes it

ya......so true. but we avent looked at it frm one end of the continuum. someone 1ces asked. " y wud de wana give wen de knw d pain they went through b4 amassin deir wealth." I am no fan to this quote...." for SOME wealthy enterprise around, there is crime involved." but mayb dere is an iota of truth in it. lyk I said up dere, in movies, d conclusion of d mata is usually.....mayb d wealth of d rich isn't genuine. gotten through evil and crime. Perhaps, d reason y sum of em r Stingy.

Interesting debate.

Efe, where went thou?
Hope all is well?

@op, d day u start thinking"I owe nobody no obligation and nobody owe me any", u become a free man.

U only owe that to ur immediate family.
Kids to a certain level, they r on their own.

I came from a super wealthy background and even as a young gal stopped licking nyash at a level and worked hard to be where I am today.
Of course u will be persecuted on premises like"lets see how she will make it, no be ashe work she go begin do,bla bla bla but that was d best decision of my life that exposed me to who and what I am today.

Wait for nobody, even those ur daddy trained. They owe u nothing. Work hard and make ur mark.

lanxlot:
dats nt Ma point. My point is....I sense something sinister about it....y wud a pson wud'nt want to assist his own blood brother but wud willingly assist anoda( friend)

Maybe because he or she has lazy siblings and knows it. Maybe because he needs the money for something else. Maybe because he or she knows that his siblings waste money. It does not matter, it is his / her choice. He does not even need to justify his not wanting to give. Simples.

moca:
Interesting debate.

Efe, where went thou?
Hope all is well?

@op, d day u start thinking"I owe nobody no obligation and nobody owe me any", u become a free man.

U only owe that to ur immediate family.
Kids to a certain level, they r on their own.

I came from a super wealthy background and even as a young gal stopped licking nyash at a level and worked hard to be where I am today.
Of course u will be persecuted on premises like"lets see how she will make it, no be ashe work she go begin do,bla bla bla but that was d best decision of my life that exposed me to who and what I am today.

Wait for nobody, even those ur daddy trained. They owe u nothing. Work hard and make ur mark.

I own dat to My immediate family ryt?? u said yes.....lol, some psons up there said.....o.y.o. mind your business. isn't that witchcraft? a broda is sick, u chase im away. ur nephews n nieces aren't even in school.....none of your business. u see, that's not My concern though. but at tyms, these set of pple, will give special importance to issues not pertaining to that of their brothers. friends go de praise them outside....dats d conundrum in all of it. some persons made some points, and I quiet agree with them.

lanxlot:
dats it.....dats 1 point.....nw u copy.

Copy what?

Seems you misunderstood my post.

@ Moca: I dey, dear. Was just very busy. We're all good though. You & yours?

lanxlot:
I own dat to My immediate family ryt?? u said yes.....lol, some psons up there said.....o.y.o. mind your business. isn't that witchcraft? a broda is sick, u chase im away. ur nephews n nieces aren't even in school.....none of your business. u see, that's not My concern though. but at tyms, these set of pple, will give special importance to issues not pertaining to that of their brothers. friends go de praise them outside....dats d conundrum in all of it. some persons made some points, and I quiet agree with them.

Nigerians should stop putting kids into this world they cannot afford to send to school. Next problem solved.

carefreewannabe:


Maybe because he or she has lazy siblings and knows it. Maybe because he needs the money for something else. Maybe because he or she knows that his siblings waste money. It does not matter, it is his / her choice. He does not even need to justify his not wanting to give. Simples.

carefree, you are indeed carefree.....lol, u aint caring.

lanxlot:
carefree, you are indeed carefree.....lol, u aint caring.

WRONG!

I have a younger brother who is still at university. I work. I give him money even though he never asks for it. The boy is studying and has a part-time job. He has a 50-60 hours week. He works hard because he is too proud to ask anyone for money. He does not feel that I owe him or anyone else. This is why it is my pleasure to support him. Once he takes it for granted, it is over.

I also take care of my grandparents. Yet, they do not say I have to. They would give me anything if I asked even if they don't have much.

This is how it is in my family. We are proud to give, nobody feels entitled to take. It has helped us to have more than enough as a family.
This is the secret of us never having financial problems.

carefreewannabe:


WRONG!

I have a younger brother who is still at university. I work. I give him money even though he never asks for it. The boy is studying and has a part-time job. He has a 50-60 hours week. He works hard because he is too proud to ask anyone for money. He does not feel that I owe him or anyone else. This is why it is my pleasure to support him. Once he takes it for granted, it is over.

I also take care of my grandparents. Yet, they do not say I have to. They would give me anything if I asked even if they don't have much.

This is how it is in my family. We are proud to give, nobody feels entitled to take. It has helped us to have more than enough as a family.
This is the secret of us never having financial problems.

dat's tyt. indeed cool.

I honestly think it's great and blessed to give, help and inspire people to be better BUT like has been said by other posters it is not up to anyone to decide someone can definitely afford to give or not. That's just plain entitlement and its annoying.Very annoying.

I got a FB message from someone(a relative) this week who has never called or asked after my welfare or that of my family and he asked me to get him a laptop in the black friday sales since I have not given him anything since he gained admission into the University. Like seriously?? Not saying I can't get him a laptop but actually adding 'you have not given me anything since I gained admission' is just annoying cos its a sense of entitlement. If he had said a laptop will make doing my coursework easier and If you can get me one I would appreciate it would have been much better.

I find it difficult demanding stuff from even my husband so it baffles me the ease at which people just feel 'you should be able to do it for me'.

damiso:
I honestly think it's great and blessed to give, help and inspire people to be better BUT like has been said by other posters it is not up to anyone to decide someone can definitely afford to give or not. That's just plain entitlement and its annoying.Very annoying.

I got a FB message from someone(a relative) this week who has never called or asked after my welfare or that of my family and he asked me to get him a laptop in the black friday sales since I have not given him anything since he gained admission into the University. Like seriously?? Not saying I can't get him a laptop but actually adding 'you have not given me anything since I gained admission' is just annoying cos its a sense of entitlement. If he had said a laptop will make doing my coursework easier and If you can get me one I would appreciate it would have been much better.

I find it difficult demanding stuff from even my husband so it baffles me the ease at which people just feel 'you should be able to do it for me'.

Very well said.

@bold

I also find it difficult to ask anyone for anything. I even stopped asking my parents for anything as soon as possible and I am not from a poor family.