In a new interview with
Encomium magazine, afrobeat singer, songwriter and
saxophonist Seun Kuti, who has said many times that he
doesn’t believe in marriage, said one of the reasons
marriages no longer last in Nigeria is because women are
no longer submissive. Read below & tell us if you agree
“I don’t believe in marriage. The truth is, the marriage
institution in Nigeria has collapsed. Nobody is getting
married for long anymore. On the average, it’s within a
year. Although they still marry, they separate. The thing
responsible for it is that people get married for the wrong
reasons. As a matter of fact, the institution of marriage is
fading away in the traditional sense of marriage – for love;
for better or worse; and all sort. It’s fading because women
are no longer submissive.
For you to live together with someone for life, someone
must be submissive. That is easier when women are not
working, and they depend on their husband. But now, its
becoming difficult because they are working; making more
money even more than the men. The situation is terrible.
Even if you as a man is not looking outside, your wife will
look.
I’ve made a decision and my partner already agreed. In fact
there was a wedding we went attended in Ibadan, the
couple broke up at the reception. Because of picture, the
bride’s father wanted to take first, the groom’s father said
No and they started quarreling. The couple broke up at the
reception. How about that?
About my father marrying 27 wives, if you look deep, you
will discover that in 1986 my father divorced all his wives.
People seem to forget this fact. It also goes to buttress my
point that says marriage is becoming a fading institution.
Fela was the epitome of marriage. First, he married one
woman, then he married 26 at once. He has experienced
both, and later he came out to say marriage is bad. What
about that?” He said

i concur wit him.

as far as we belive in white man marriage ahead of our own traditional marriage. ntin will change in that institution. it will continue to go down the more.

Tooto oro.
true word
So everybody don dey advocate for singular happy
# don't mind my engrish

Reading this nonsense just killed a size able amount of my brain cells.

We don hear!
Just like marriages can't work in AFRICA, due to wandering BLOKOSES!

Until wives become submissive, marriage will not work.

These people don't know what they want. If women decide to sit and wait for their husbands to come and collect them from their father's house, you will scream they are a burden!

If she works and takes care of the bills and expects her opinion to be considered before making a decision, she is not submissive.

Now one he-goat after marrying 27 women, he was not able to find happiness and peace. Did he ever sit down to think that maybe he is the problem and not the institution of marriage in itself? Those who are happily married to one wife are wizards?

Until husbands love too marriage will not work. Don't isolate the instruction.

BTW..when did S.eun become an authority to state why marriages don't work in Nigeria

Isn't it the same S.eun that was wearing pants on stage in a thread few days ago

juanmata:
Until wives become submissive, marriage will not work.

KanwuliaJara:
We don hear!
Just like marriages can't work in AFRICA, due to wandering BLOKOSES!

Huh? You really must hate Africa.

Jamean:
Isn't it the same S.eun that was wearing pants on stage in a thread few days ago?

Lol. You don't need a rocket scientist to tell you this guy is an illiterate, and that he has a phobia for working-class-educated-women. In his opinion, a wife shouldn't work at all. She should only sit around and totally depend on her man. The mofo labels that being submissive because as such she wouldn't be able to question his orders, or influence any decision. He's a lost case.

Jamean:
Until husbands love too marriage will not work. Don't isolate the instruction.

BTW..when did S.eun become an authority to state why marriages don't work in Nigeria

Isn't it the same S.eun that was wearing pants on stage in a thread few days ago

Love gets strong with time, I think men should tolerate, and wives be submissive. Two kings can't rule at a time

I personally don't dig it when people who are not married especially ladies on NL always take the drivers seat on marital issues... If you are married you will know that submission by the modern woman has become a hydra-headed problem rocking the average family.

It is part of the change modernity & civilization has brought to Africa and the average Nigerian man can't really wrap his head around it.

The population of divorcee's will continue to rise as we move up, however, my only consolation is the fact that it will bring along more independent women and men.

Those women who value the family institution can choose to remain loyal and submissive to their Hubby's even if they are the bread winner, while the men who value the institution will continually love their wives like their own body.

Others can choose otherwise but don't forget we have only the office of the President in our constitution and not that of the first lady.. So also we have one headship in the family.

Jamean:
Until husbands love too marriage will not work. Don't isolate the instruction.

BTW..when did S.eun become an authority to state why marriages don't work in Nigeria

Isn't it the same S.eun that was wearing pants on stage in a thread few days ago

Mad man don turn into marriage counsellor

deeptesting:
I personally don't dig it when people who are not married especially ladies on NL always take the drivers seat on marital issues...

seun kuti is a man who once stated that he is not interested in getting marriage, but hey i guess you would dig his advice even though he is not married, so long its not coming from a female nairalander, its worth taking into consideration

http://lm.?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.naijaurban.com%2Finterested-marriage-seun-kuti%2F%23sthash.7BE14hp2.dpbs&h=jAQFZWCTI&enc=AZPzyVpDR9M3_DYcm0WzVBczsNmetuSmL3mQeYhtCxcRF8UcvZhdOK5o9D1powO72dQ&s=1

Seun should stick with what he knows jor, inside marriage matter him be olodo.

If the husband don't look outside,the wife will look outside....Truth!!!

Seriously!!! Who even cares to listen to what seun says about marriage.who made him a marriage counsellor or is it just to open his mouth and say what comes to his mind.

Failure in marriage, in the Nigerian context, is a natural consequence of the new marriage culture. Seun is right when he says women's lack of submission works against the workability of the institution, but that's only a part of the problems.

How many men know what it means to be a man and carry out themselves and their duties as such? Same applies to women. Human relations have effectively become androgynous while people have their minds stuck on the traditional structures. Traditional marriage is the best form of marriage, and while it recorded its own fair share of failures, it still has a higher success rate to the modern system.

Per the story in the OP, it's a good thing the couple broke up before they had any kids. This, however, is an indictment on society, as we have become numb to this abomination. I shudder to think what kind of family would they have made.

LordReed:
Seun should stick with what he knows jor, inside marriage matter him be olodo.

I bet, you'd have no problem listening to Oprah Winfrey's advice on marriage, would you?

Timbuktou:
I bet, you'd have no problem listening to Oprah Winfrey's advice on marriage, would you?

LoL! I am not a fan of Oprah so the only advice I'd listen to from her is on career/business.

LordReed:


LoL! I am not a fan of Oprah so the only advice I'd listen to from her is on career/business.

Fair enough.

Timbuktou:
Failure in marriage, in the Nigerian context, is a natural consequence of the new marriage culture. Seun is right when he says women's lack of submission works against the workability of the institution, but that's only a part of the problems.

How many men know what it means to be a man and carry out themselves and their duties as such? Same applies to women. Human relations have effectively become androgynous while people have their minds stuck on the traditional structures. Traditional marriage is the best form of marriage, and while it recorded its own fair share of failures, it still has a higher success rate to the modern system.

Per the story in the OP, it's a good thing the couple broke up before they had any kids. This, however, is an indictment on society, as we have become numb to this abomination. I shudder to think what kind of family would they have made.

We live in modern times and deal with modern organisational and social structures. We need to evolve new ways of doing things. Crying for the old days is the bane of African development. Let's face it the old days and ways are not coming back, not in these days of technological innovation and discovery. We don't need to be stuck in a future shock, we can advance forward and think up solutions.

Modern marriages need to be streamlined in the light of what is currently obtainable. Work for the male and female have taken a different dimension. Gone are the days when a woman can leave the farm to go home and cook soup. Many homes have evolved ways to deal with such issues. We must also evolve our thinking instead of seeking a return to the old ways. Our expectations of our partners need to be grounded in reality rather than idealized fantasies.

LordReed:


We live in modern times and deal with modern organisational and social structures. We need to evolve new ways of doing things. Crying for the old days is the bane of African development. Let's face it the old days and ways are not coming back, not in these days of technological innovation and discovery. We don't need to be stuck in a future shock, we can advance forward and think up solutions.

Modern marriages need to be streamlined in the light of what is currently obtainable. Work for the male and female have taken a different dimension. Gone are the days when a woman can leave the farm to go home and cook soup. Many homes have evolved ways to deal with such issues. We must also evolve our thinking instead of seeking a return to the old ways. Our expectations of our partners need to be grounded in reality rather than idealized fantasies.

Perhaps, we should have evolved from a species who needs to eat to one that doesn't. Principles are what they are and the laws of nature/success are the same today as they were when fire was first discovered. What we need today are modern practices upholding the same principles not twisting the principles in the name of modernity.

Know ye, that the first Ford car and today's Bugatti Veyron run on the same principles? And who says the women in old times didn't know how to farm?

The old ways may or may not come back, if they do, the better for us, if they don't, watch as society deteriorates further. We don't need a soothsayer to foretell the future of this generation. Everything is connected one way or the other, could this rubbish of breaking up at the wedding reception be conceived even ten years ago? We keep telling ourselves that it doesn't affect us directly so we shouldn't care, but that's just wrong.
There's a reason why Edo girls, more than any other ethnic group in Nigeria, seem to end up as prostiitutes in Italy.

Timbuktou:
Perhaps, we should have evolved from a species who needs to eat to one that doesn't. Principles are what they are and the laws of nature/success are the same today as they were when fire was first discovered. What we need today are modern practices upholding the same principles not twisting the principles in the name of modernity.

Principles can be built upon. Fire was used for warmth, cooking, illumination and safety. We have built newer more effective methods of doing these things. Must we stick to using open flames because that was how it was done? Your statement in bold is what I am advocating so do not misunderstand my stance.

Know ye, that the first Ford car and today's Bugatti Veyron run on the same principles? And who says the women in old times didn't know how to farm?

The old ways may or may not come back, if they do, the better for us, if they don't, watch as society deteriorates further. We don't need a soothsayer to foretell the future of this generation. Everything is connected one way or the other, could this rubbish of breaking up at the wedding reception be conceived even ten years ago? We keep telling ourselves that it doesn't affect us directly so we shouldn't care, but that's just wrong.
There's a reason why Edo girls, more than any other ethnic group in Nigeria, seem to end up as prostiitutes in Italy.

I said solutions need to be evolved to meet the challenges of the modern day not that we need to fold our arms and watch things deteriorate. It is the lament for the old days that even puts us in a siddon look mode robbing us of the initiative.

LordReed:


Principles can be built upon. Fire was used for warmth, cooking, illumination and safety. We have built newer more effective methods of doing these things. Must we stick to using open flames because that was how it was done? Your statement in bold is what I am advocating so do not misunderstand my stance.



I said solutions need to be evolved to meet the challenges of the modern day not that we need to fold our arms and watch things deteriorate. It is the lament for the old days that even puts us in a siddon look mode robbing us of the initiative.

I'm a little perplexed as to the dynamic of this comments of yours. You agree with me but seem not to? Your first paragraph and first sentence of your second paragraph seem to be in tandem with my thoughts. Your tone, though, is "confrontational" of my opinion.

Moving on, I am not lamenting for the old days, I clearly stated that we need to develop new practices for old, time-tested principles.

Timbuktou:
I'm a little perplexed as to the dynamic of this comments of yours. You agree with me but seem not to? Your first paragraph and first sentence of your second paragraph seem to be in tandem with my thoughts. Your tone, though, is "confrontational" of my opinion.

Moving on, I am not lamenting for the old days, I clearly stated that we need to develop new practices for old, time-tested principles.

"Traditional marriage is the best form of marriage,
and while it recorded its own fair share of failures,
it still has a higher success rate to the modern
system."

That was what I was responding to. You seemed to raise traditional marriage above the need to proffer modern solutions so if I seemed to be confrontational then it's as a result of miscommunication.

Oprah winfrey? Wetin she know abt marriage,pls spare me na daft american women dey worship am as god,she wll tell u what she knws nothing about,how does that work?

LordReed:


"Traditional marriage is the best form of marriage,
and while it recorded its own fair share of failures,
it still has a higher success rate to the modern
system."

That was what I was responding to. You seemed to raise traditional marriage above the need to proffer modern solutions so if I seemed to be confrontational then it's as a result of miscommunication.

No problems, then. Thanks for clearing that out.

Seun giving advice on marriage..well he is entitled to his opinion.