I work as a father outside Lagos while my family stays permanently in Lagos. Some days back my wife called that she got a report from school that my 6yr old son tore 11 pages from his school note books.
I was really miffed. This is the 2nd time this will happen, the other time it was a classmate book that he tore with a friend.
This the mum beat him over, but for me this is 2nd time too many. So I got a message that the school proprietor will like to see me or my wife and that we will pay 3, 000 for 3 small note books that was torn. That got me mad because it doesnt make sence. So I told my wife we are going to see her but I aint paying no 3k, however I expect the school to beat him which is what I will advice.
Well we met with her (me & wify) she said the 3k is fine for the books so that parents will learn to discipline their children, I was like what nonsence I dont need you to tell me to discipline my children but I agree that he should be beaten in school to serve as deterrence.
So I gave permit for him to be beaten on assembly ground, but unfortunately I didnt bargain for the impact of this on my 8yr old daughter. My son was brought out on the assembly ground, his school short removed and given 11strokes of cane on the buttocks with frog jump to climax it. This happened in the afternoon so other parents started calling my wife to report and wondered why such. But wify told them that we gave the permit.
Now to my daughter she is an easy going 8yr old who has been in that school for 5yrs without any incident but my son has gotten into trouble some couple of times. She started weeping and left the assembly ground for her class and will not talk to either me or their mum wondering why we gave such cruel permit.
But my boy the moment he came back from school saw me and was beaming with smile. I felt like a fool for he bore me no grudge was even urging me to help with his assignment since I just came into lagos not minding that I gave permit for him to be beaten in school.
My daughter asked me condescendingly why I gave such a cruel permit and wonder why I coudnt do it my self. Wify felt bad, may be given the opportunity again what will I do? Well I will still do it but would ask that it be done in his classroom. So nairaland parents over to you. What will you do?

Beating him- fine

Beating him unclad in front of the whole school-wrong


Well am just suprise your boy came back smiling at you.
Am not surprise at his sister tho.she was the one with the students,she had all the embarrasing small talks they made and at her age,that's monumental.

To a child,everything is a big deal even huging them at school.

@zeb04 well I agreed to the beaten, but i expected the 70year old school founder to use her initiative. If you ask me 11 strokes too much especially on the bum without short though with his boxers.
Though there were marks but I wouldnt know how severe the strokes were

bugativeron:
I worked as a father outside Lagos while my family stas permanently in Lagos. Some days back my wife called that she got a report from school that my 6yr old son tore 11 pages from his school note books.
I was really miffed. This is the 2nd time this will happen, the other time it was a classmate book that he tore with a friend.
This the mum beat him over, but for me this is 2nd time too many. So I got a message that the school proprietor will like to see me or my wife and that we will pay 3, 000 for 3 small note books that was torn. That got me mad because it doesnt make sence. So I told my wife we are going to see her but I aint paying no 3k, however I expect the school to beat him which is what I will advice.
Well we met with her (me & wify) she said the 3k is fine for the books so that parents will learn to discipline their children, I was like what nonsence I dont need you to tell me to discipline my children but I agree that he should be beaten in school to serve as deterrence.
So I gave permit for him to be beaten on assembly ground, but unfortunately I didnt bargain for the impact of this on my 8yr old daughter. My son was brought out on the assembly ground, his school short removed and given 11strokes of cane on the buttocks with frog jump to climax it. This happened in the afternoon so other parents started calling my wife to report and wondered why such. But wify told them that we gave the permit.
Now to my daughter she is an easy going 8yr old who has been in that school for 5yrs without any incident but my son has gotten into trouble some couple of times. She started weeping and left the assembly ground for her class and will not talk to either me or their mum wondering why we gave such cruel permit.
But my boy the moment he came back from school saw me and was beaming with smile. I felt like a fool for he bore me no grudge was even urging me to help with his assignment since I just came into lagos not minding that I gave permit for him to be beaten in school.
My daughter asked me condescendingly why I gave such a cruel permit and wonder why I coudnt do it my self. Wify felt bad, may be given the opportunity again what will I do? Well I will still do it but would ask that it be done in his classroom. So nairaland parents over to you. What will you do?

You gave another person the right to administer corporal punishment on your child?!? For what purpose? To serve as a deterrence u said..and u'll still do it again? Hahahah!! But this time in his classroom? Thank God you are not my husband...

Do you even know that even children have rights too as humans? Inflicting physical pains on a child serves no good purpose sir.

Did u see he ran to u and asked to be helped after the humiliation? Children will be children...there are several discipline techniques out there. Like detention (making him sit for a while on his own so he/she can think about what he/she did and apologize afterward promising never to repeat his actions), taking away privileges and all...

You'll only end up raising a hard-hearted child if you continue in this manner...IMO..

kids are getting wilder n wilder every day but koboko has been resetting them to factory default

sunnshyn:


You gave another person the right to administer corporal punishment on your child?!? For what purpose? To serve as a deterrence u said..and u'll still do it again? Hahahah!! But this time in his classroom? Thank God you are not my husband...

Do you even know that even children have rights too as humans? Inflicting physical pains on a child serves no good purpose sir.

Did u see he ran to u and asked to be helped after the humiliation? Children will be children...there are several discipline techniques out there. Like detention (making him sit for a while on his own so he/she can think about what he/she did and apologize afterward promising never to repeat his actions), taking away privileges and all...

You'll only end up raising a hard-hearted child if you continue in this matter...IMO..

Sorry ma. Do you live in Nigeria. This your grammar sound english. Where you not beaten in school by your teacher?

francleanflexy:
kids are getting wilder n wilder every day but koboko has been resetting them to factory default

Lol at factory default.

You should have paid the fine and disciplined him yourself

This is not a proper punishment, this is humiliation. The boy is six. What will you do when he is 14 when you can't handle the boy when he is 6?

Did anyone care to find out why the boy did what he did?
Did anyone talk to the child?

Children are not wicked by nature. When they misbehave, there is always a reason why they do so.

Waoh! That kind of punishment for a 6 year old?? way too extreme

cococandy:
You should have paid the fine and disciplined him yourself

well this is the 2nd time it will happen. The 1st he tore a classmate books into shreds. The school called me and the mum. We went there we pleaded. I came home the mum applied the sticks, when this happened again and the school called again, I planned to allow school beat him while I also do so at home. But the school founder and I agreed to one of us doing it. Too many times I have done the discipline but on this book thing I want the school to also take him up. If he does that at home I would do my discipline by myself. My teachers dont ask for permit to beat me in those days why should it be different now?

Some people don't deserve to be parents.

@op: so rather than pay the 3K, you chose to have your very own flesh & blood treated like an animal?

Rather than attempt to understand your 6 year old, you chose to have him violated in public? You must be an advocate of jungle justice and pepper treatment.

bugativeron:

well this is the 2nd time it will happen. The 1st he tore a classmate books into shreds. The school called me and the mum. We went there we pleaded. I came home the mum applied the sticks, when this happened again and the school called again, I planned to allow school beat him while I also do so at home. But the school founder and I agreed to one of us doing it. Too many times I have done the discipline but on this book thing I want the school to also take him up. If he does that at home I would do my discipline by myself. My teachers dont ask for permit to beat me in those days why should it be different now?

Obviously beating him up for the first time did not help to solve the issue.
Why would humiliating him in public solve it?

The child is six!

Is it not possible for you people to handle the issue in a different way?
How about talking to the child FIRST?

bugativeron:

well this is the 2nd time it will happen. The 1st he tore a classmate books into shreds. The school called me and the mum. We went there we pleaded. I came home the mum applied the sticks, when this happened again and the school called again, I planned to allow school beat him while I also do so at home. But the school founder and I agreed to one of us doing it. Too many times I have done the discipline but on this book thing I want the school to also take him up. If he does that at home I would do my discipline by myself. My teachers dont ask for permit to beat me in those days why should it be different now?

You must be a violent man.

Your post reeks of violence in every paragraph. It's obviously your answer to parenting. Just out of interest, how long do you plan to keep beating the living daylights out of your son?

When would you advance from the cain, to belt buckles, to wires, and maybe bricks?

I'm sure you've probably dished your son a couple of hard knocks on the head.

carefreewannabe:


Obviously beating him up for the first time did not help to solve the issue.
Why would humiliating him in public solve it?

The child is six!

Is it not possible for you people to handle the issue in a different way?
How about talking to the child FIRST?

well there are too many ways to catch a rabbit. For me it is a combination of different methods. I will not over use one over the other. This is the 1st time I will give such permit. My son is six but he is built like a 9yr old fellow.

bugativeron:

well there are too many ways to catch a rabbit. For me it is a combination of different methods. I will not over use one over the other. This is the 1st time I will give such permit. My son is six but he is built like a 9yr old fellow.

So?

Is it a reason to humiliate him in public?
Does it make him more mature psychologically?

You have not answered my question. Did anyone ask the child why he did what he did?

Your boy at 6 has developed very high tolerance for cane that should get you worried and shows clearly coporal punishment has been over used on him.

Well, each to their own.

EfemenaXY:


You must be a violent man.

Your post reeks of violence in every paragraph. It's obviously your answer to parenting. Just out of interest, how long do you plan to keep beating the living daylights out of your son?

When would you advance from the cain, to belt buckles, to wires, and maybe bricks?

I'm sure you've probably dished your son a couple of hard knocks on the head.

no ma I am not a violent man. Spare the rod and spoil the child. But I wont over do it.
but do I have cane kept for my children? Yes. But do i over use it? No. I grew up with plenty beaten from my dad but I dont over do it with my children.
But I want him to realise that it isnt only me and the mum that frown at such but even the school.
I have never gotten any negative report about my daughter from school. But for him this must have been the umpteenth time.

bugativeron:

no ma I am not a violent man. Spare the rod and spoil the child. But I wont over do it.
but do I have cane kept for my children? Yes. But do i over use it? No. I grew up with plenty beaten from my dad but I dont over do it with my children.
But I want him to realise that it isnt only me and the mum that frown at such but even the school.
I have never gotten any negative report about my daughter from school. But for him this must have been the umpteenth time.

So where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough by your standards?

Till he is beaten unconscious and within an inch if his life?

carefreewannabe:


So?

Is it a reason to humiliate him in public?
Does it make him more mature psychologically?

You have not answered my question. Did anyone ask the child why he did what he did?

The 1st time it happened I took time to talk to him and understand the rational but nothing came from it. So when this happened I decided to let the school handle it.

EfemenaXY:


So where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough by your standards?

Till he is beaten unconscious and within an inch if his life?

Line can be drawn. Well for me I am like if this doesnt work as per book tearing then the rest is prayers oooo.
in the past he has broken things maliciously, whenever my wife complain I put it to frustration over not seeing his dad. So I just encourage my wife to take it easy and be calm. So I talk to him over phone and encourage him to be good. I said to myself if this boy continues this way I must come back to lagos by force by fire and stay with my family.
However nothing too serious apart from the book tearing and beating his classmates that he considers rude to him.

aisha2:
Your boy at 6 has developed very high tolerance for cane that should get you worried and shows clearly coporal punishment has been over used on him.

Well, each to their own.

gbam

SAMBARRY:
gbam

Well the question you and aisha should ask is how many times has he been beating? So I dont think he has developed thick skin to cane. I can count the number of times I have beating though this excludes knocks on the head and ear pulling.

bugativeron:

Well the question you and aisha should ask is how many times has he been beating? So I dont think he has developed thick skin to cane. I can count the number of times I have beating though this excludes knocks on the head and ear pulling.

A six year old was striped and beaten like a criminal and in a few hours he is smiling and has forgotten about it.
That should scare any parent. Like I said each to their own

bugativeron:


Well the question you and aisha should ask is how many times has he been beating? So I dont think he has developed thick skin to cane. I can count the number of times I have beating though this excludes knocks on the head and ear pulling.

the elders say it is madness to keep doing the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result. In the same way you can see yoir son has grown thick skin and is now hardened to punishment and violence yet you're still doing the same thing and expecting him to change .why don't you adopt other means like communication with love

Exactly. It shows traumatic experiences is no longer new and disturbing to him . It's not normal o.hiaannn.he has entered a VERY DANGEROUS LEVEL OF REBELLION AND IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL A DAY IS COMMING WHERE HE WILL SLAP HIS FATHER OR RAPE HIS MOTHER then you will know violence is not a good way of raising kids

aisha2:


A six year old was striped and beaten like a criminal and in a few hours he is smiling and has forgotten about it.
That should scare any parent. Like I said each to their own

bugativeron:


The 1st time it happened I took time to talk to him and understand the rational but nothing came from it. So when this happened I decided to let the school handle it.

I really like that you opened this thread. It shows that you think about what happened. It shows you care.
I don't doubt you are a loving father. I just think that beating up a child na*ked and in public is not a good way to handle such issues.
The punishment was way too harsh. And you should not allow teachers to beat up your child. Teachers should be trained to have other ways to handle such issues. And remember that they don'T love your kid like you do so don't trust them too much. Some teachers may take it too far. You never know. Be careful there.

Don't expect a child to give you a perfect, rational explanation for his misbehavior but try and understand him in his childish ways.
The child's aggression has a cause and you need to find out what it is else it will get worse.

When a child reacts aggressively and you try to tackle his aggression with more aggression (=beating), it will make matters worse.
Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
Your boy didn't destroy the books because he is bad. I don'T even think he did it for fun because he sure remembers his first beating. I believe that something bothers the boy.

Your goal is to modify his behavior for the better and not to just punish him.
When you punish a child, without tackling the cause and without teaching the child and helping him to change, you will not achieve the results you hope for. You will have inflicted punishment but not initiated any process for a positive development.

This does not mean that the child should never face consequences but beating up a child should be the last resort and should never be done in the way the school did it.

There are different ways to punish a child but it is useless when you do not make the child understand what the punishment is for. When you don't talk to the child first. Next time, take away his favorite toy for a day or two. Don'T be quick to beat him up.

Jeez!
@op, how can u do this?
No wonder we r so violent by nature.
Abeg forget d spare d rod trash.
Since we've not been sparing d rod, how r we faring in this country?

What happens to coomunicationv
Or u think he won't listen and talk.
How do u even talk to him?
Do u go down to his level or the almighty I'm ur father u must obey me type?
Even babies inside womb r communicated to. Newborn babies d same.

I'm so ashamed. And u think u r training him. Well u r. But u r training a violent and rebellious man.
I noticed that parents allow d cane to do the talking(communication)for them.

"Uncladded" ke?

Are you from "EKITI" center of learning?

carefreewannabe:


I really like that you opened this thread. It shows that you think about what happened. It shows you care.
I don't doubt you are a loving father. I just think that beating up a child na*ked and in public is not a good way to handle such issues.

Don't expect a child to give you a perfect, rational explanation for his misbehavior but try and understand him in his childish ways.
The child's aggression has a cause and you need to find out what it is else it will get worse.

When a child reacts aggressively and you try to tackle his aggression with more aggression (=beating), it will make matters worse.
Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
Your boy didn't destroy the books because he is bad. I don'T even think he did it for fun because he sure remembers his first beating. I believe that something bothers the boy.

Your goal is to modify his behavior for the better and not to just punish him.
When you punish a child, without tackling the cause and without teaching the child and helping him to change, you will not achieve the results you hope for. You will have inflicted punishment but not initiated any process for a positive development.

I agree with you. If you read my earlier post I said the founder who is over 70 should use her discreation. Like I said I may not agree to everything.
my children were raised in such away that they dont keep malice. So I dont think it is about getting used to cane. If I scold my children or even when their teachers do, they dont keep malice with nobody few minutes later they smile at you and gist away like nothing happen. I grew to be like that, when I started my career I was managing about 20 staff but whenever I disagree with my staff or they do any annoying thing after few minutes I am gisting away freely with the person. My children are like that they dont keep malice or brood over issues whenever they are reprimanded. So I dont think the smiling at me is a case of thick skin to caning

bugativeron:

I agree with you. If you read my earlier post I said the founder who is over 70 should use her discreation. Like I said I may not agree to everything.
my children were raised in such away that they dont keep malice. So I dont think it is about getting used to cane. If I scold my children or even when their teachers do, they dont keep malice with nobody few minutes later they smile at you and gist away like nothing happen. I grew to be like that, when I started my career I was managing about 20 staff but whenever I disagree with my staff or they do any annoying thing after few minutes I am gisting away freely with the person. My children are like that they dont keep malice or brood over issues whenever they are reprimanded. So I dont think the smiling at me is a case of thick skin to caning

It not about keeping malice.

And whatever you do with your kids at home, please don'T allow teachers to beat them up na*ked and in public.

moca:
Jeez!
@op, how can u do this?
No wonder we r so violent by nature.
Abeg forget d spare d rod trash.
Since we've not been sparing d rod, how r we faring in this country?

What happens to coomunicationv
Or u think he won't listen and talk.
How do u even talk to him?
Do u go down to his level or the almighty I'm ur father u must obey me type?
Even babies inside womb r communicated to. Newborn babies d same.

I'm so ashamed. And u think u r training him. Well u r. But u r training a violent and rebellious man.
I noticed that parents allow d cane to do the talking(communication)for them.

@bold

Was thinking the same.