Something happened last night that really got me thinking.

I know some parents can be very protective of their children,especially female children, by restricting their movements.
Some would just allow them visit few selected friends and others would be limited to just church,market,school,home,that's all. I kinda fall under the latter sha

It didn't really bother me while growing BECAUSE i felt with time,the level of restriction would reduce.



(did i just say it really didn't bother me I been just dey endure o, as per say i be one obedient child )

we're well brought up o,don't get it twisted.




Fast forward>>>

I graduated from school of midwifery early this year and i've been at home waiting for our MSS service.
Apart from a secondary school female friend which i seldomly visit,it's stil been the usual church,market... Stuff.

I got a call from my fellowship in school that they'd be having the sent forth of probably the last christian set in the school (did i tell you i stay in the north and the school stopped admiting christain students?...well,that's a story for another day).

Back to story...

The remaining christain students are just TWO. And they're two of my three very good friends.
So attending the sent forth is not an option for me because;

1. I am not doing anything at the moment,as in, work.
2. They are my very good friends.
3. I bought them jaw dropping gifts with the last cash on me because i felt they deserved it.
4. I have no other means of delivering it, except i go.
5.
6.
7.
8............100000000000

I don't wanna bore you with the reasons.

I hinted the news of the sent forth to my mom few days back,she didn't say anything and her countenance didn't even change.

I come feel say i get hope say i go go ooo.

Last night around 10:30pm or so,my mom and I were gisting and laughing in my room then i remembered that i haven't gotten a definite answer from her about my journery to school(about 2 and half hours journey). Then this conversation ensued between us...

Me: ehen...mom,i'd be going to school on saturday for the sent forth i told you about.
Mom: No!

(no be even question i ask o,na just statement i make )

me: but y?
Mom: nothing. You're through with school nothing should take you there again!

I opened my mouth to talk,but nothing came out.
That was how our sweet discussion turned sour.
My mouth was agape til she got up and left my room without a word.






A soldier walked pass me that moment and i gave him 3 dirty slaps!!!




#it happened in my mind sha.

That was how vexed i was!


Since then til now i've been thinking of how to convince her to let me go to the extent that all my prayers this morning was centered on it.

I just wonder if she didn't realise that i'm no longer 2year old. I'd be turning 22 in 5 days time for crying out loud!

Don't get me wrong,my mom is very sweet and loving,we're like ''5 and 6''. It just this her ''over protective'' attitude that i don't like.

So guys, how did you handle similar situations like this?
All parents are strict,just that some get degree

Those ladies won't forgive me if i don't come. Plus,i don't wanna return the gift i bought.

And please, at what age should parents stop this movement restriction thing

Puleeaaaseee help!!!!!!!!!!!
;( ;(

well they will give u more space once they develop more trust in y

Emmyginger:
well they will give u more space once they develop more trust in y

Ok. But did you read the part where i said we're well brought up?
Some parent would stil restrict even if their children is the pope

Her fears are deeper than what you can imagine. Sit her down and try to know the source of her concern, it's only then you can allay her fears to an extent.

Pick a time that she is really happy, or create the atmosphere (you should know, since you two are like 5 and 6), and find out from her, in a non-confrontational way, her reason(s). You mentioned you schooled in the North, so it is possible she is worried about insecurity. If you still feel strongly about going despite the security issues (if that is the case), then make your case to her on how you were able to survive, all alone, during your school years. You do need to assure her also that your accommodation is sorted out.
I have a 15 year old daughter, and I am not sure I will have much issue with her going to a party with her friends, when she turns 22. She will be an adult by then, you know, and there is not much I can tell her at that age that will prevent her from doing what she wants to do. I can only offer her some safety tips. Good luck dear.

Kimoni:
Her fears are deeper than what you can imagine. Sit her down and try to know the source of her concern, it's only then you can allay her fears to an extent.

I~tink~dats~is~d~best~tin~u~need~to~do.
Let~her~rialise~dat~u~are~no~more~in~prymaary~school~neither~her~u~secondry~school¤~u~are~u~22~and~gals~of~ur~age~and~class~are~already~independent.

Kimoni:
Her fears are deeper than what you can imagine. Sit her down and try to know the source of her concern, it's only then you can allay her fears to an extent.

i don't think she has any strong reason behinde not letting me go,but i'd find out sha

praisecity:



I~tink~dats~is~d~best~tin~u~need~to~do.
Let~her~rialise~dat~u~are~no~more~in~prymaary~school~neither~her~u~secondry~school¤~u~are~u~22~and~gals~of~ur~age~and~class~are~already~independent.

Good thought! But for my moma,as far as she's stil your mother,you are stil her CHILD. If you know what i mean. We always need extra grace in convincing her on tinz

ottizz:
Pick a time that she is really happy, or create the atmosphere (you should know, since you two are like 5 and 6), and find out from her, in a non-confrontational way, her reason(s). You mentioned you schooled in the North, so it is possible she is worried about insecurity. If you still feel strongly about going despite the security issues (if that is the case), then make your case to her on how you were able to survive, all alone, during your school years. You do need to assure her also that your accommodation is sorted out.
I have a 15 year old daughter, and I am not sure I will have much issue with her going to a party with her friends, when she turns 22. She will be an adult by then, you know, and there is not much I can tell her at that age that will prevent her from doing what she wants to do. I can only offer her some safety tips. Good luck dear.

i don't plan on sleeping over. I told her that i'd go in the morning and come back that same day.
I'd create the atmosphere as you said. Thanks

Ezibless:


i don't think she has any strong reason behinde not letting me go,but i'd find out sha

That's what you think my dear. If I tell you the reasons behind some of the precautions I take with my kids, you'll be amazed. Go ahead and speak with her. Cheers!

Ezibless:
Something happened last night that really got me thinking.

I know some parents can be very protective of their children,especially female children, by restricting their movements.
Some would just allow them visit few selected friends and others would be limited to just church,market,school,home,that's all. I kinda fall under the latter sha

It didn't really bother me while growing BECAUSE i felt with time,the level of restriction would reduce.
(did i just say it really didn't bother me I been just dey endure o, as per say i be one obedient child )
we're well brought up o,don't get it twisted.

Fast forward>>>

I graduated from school of midwifery early this year and i've been at home waiting for our MSS service.
Apart from a secondary school female friend which i seldomly visit,it's stil been the usual church,market... Stuff.

I got a call from my fellowship in school that they'd be having the sent forth of probably the last christian set in the school (did i tell you i stay in the north and the school stopped admiting christain students?...well,that's a story for another day).

Back to story...

The remaining christain students are just TWO. And they're two of my three very good friends.
So attending the sent forth is not an option for me because;

1. I am not doing anything at the moment,as in, work.
2. They are my very good friends.
3. I bought them jaw dropping gifts with the last cash on me because i felt they deserved it.
4. I have no other means of delivering it, except i go.
5.
6.
7.............100000000000

I don't wanna bore you with the reasons.

I hinted the news of the sent forth to my mom few days back,she didn't say anything and her countenance didn't even change.

I come feel say i get hope say i go go ooo.

Last night around 10:30pm or so,my mom and I were gisting and laughing in my room then i remembered that i haven't gotten a definite answer from her about my journery to school(about 2 and half hours journey). Then this conversation ensued between us...

Me: ehen...mom,i'd be going to school on saturday for the sent forth i told you about.
Mom: No!
(no be even question i ask o,na just statement i make )
me: but y?
Mom: nothing. You're through with school nothing should take you there again!

I opened my mouth to talk,but nothing came out.
My mouth was agape til she got up and left my room without a word.




A soldier walked pass me that moment and i gave him 3 dirty slaps!!!


#it happened in my mind sha.
That was how vexed i was!

Since then til now i've been thinking of how to convince her to let me go to the extent that all my prayers this morning was centered on it.

I just wonder if she didn't realise that i'm no longer 2year old. I'd be turning 22 in 5 days time for crying out loud!

Don't get me wrong,my mom is very sweet and loving,we're like ''5 and 6''. It just this her ''over protective'' attitude that i don't like.

So what i want from you guys is:

1. To give me hints on how to go about convincing her because those ladies won't forgive me if i don't come. Plus,i don't wanna return the gift i bought.
2. At what age should parent stop this movement restriction thing

Puleeaaaseee help!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks in advance.

hello lil sis....i got your story and trust me...bros was once there.
You need to make friends and contacts..home and foreign and especially those that could help your dream and ambition..There are quite a few nursing links id give u to help broaden your knowledge and make new friends.

as per tryn to convince (lie) to mom...i wont say you must lie to her but first are you even sure ot certain of where your friends are inviting you to?

Remember you are precious to dad and mom...if a hair on your head is pulled off heaven may fall...if you can be sure of your safety and early return...ust tell them you visiting and will be back soon.

have fun sis....but also play safe.

you can in box me

Kimoni:


That's what you think my dear. If I tell you the reasons behind some of the precautions I take with my kids, you'll be amazed. Go ahead and speak with her. Cheers!

I will o,thanks.

This one i'm talking,lets see how i'd treat my own kids lol

Ezibless:


I will o,thanks.

This one i'm talking,lets see how i'd treat my own kids lol

you see! I wish I'll know you then, so I can remind you of this your post. E no easy ooo

donodion:

hello lil sis....i got your story and trust me...bros was once there.
You need to make friends and contacts..home and foreign and especially those that could help your dream and ambition..There are quite a few nursing links id give u to help broaden your knowledge and make new friends.

as per tryn to convince (lie) to mom...i wont say you must lie to her but first are you even sure ot certain of where your friends are inviting you to?

Remember you are precious to dad and mom...if a hair on your head is pulled off heaven may fall...if you can be sure of your safety and early return...ust tell them you visiting and will be back soon.

have fun sis....but also play safe.

you can in box me

Hi big bro...
Thanks for the links you promise to provide and Quoting the whole post lol

@your opinion,the event is even taking place in church. I said FELLOWSHIP,shey u read am na

I'd inbox,thanx

Kimoni:



you see! I wish I'll know you then, so I can remind you of this your post. E no easy ooo

Hahahahahahaha
I'd be strict for sure,but e go get limit.
My grandma was very strict on my mom,my mom isn't as strict so i'd be less strict but not to d extent of giving room for nuisance.

Restrictions have its advantages and disadvantages as well

Ezibless:


Did you read the part where i said we're well brought up?
Some parent would stil restrict even if their children is the pope

well u will have to make dem see reasons to give u more freedom

Your parents will never ever change if you don't stand up to them.
Trust me I've been there. My sister had to do a big breakaway from their clutches, now my dad respects what she did.
It's going to be tough because they will surely fight back, but you would find out they will change and think twice before treating you like a baby.
Unless you are still a teenager, it's not every damn thing you seek permission for.

Stillfire:
Your parents will never ever change if you don't stand up to them.
Trust me I've been there. My sister had to do a big breakaway from their clutches, now my dad respects what she did.
It's going to be tough because they will surely fight back, but you would find out they will change and think twice before treating you like a baby.
Unless you are still a teenager, it's not every damn thing you seek permission for.

Hmmm that one strong o.
I'd have to do real planning for the ''breakaway'' so that i'd not break my arm in the process

Thanks!

Like the last poster said she wont change until you do something. You know the bad thing with this good protective act, is that even when she is not there you wont do or go places (good/innocent) you know she wont approve. It kills your risk taking/daring ability and consequently you achieve less. I trust the good seed that you wont depart from has been sown so live your mind and not hers. It will even help her know more good things. What i did? When every outing approval was a no, i started going out without permission (more like sneak out). The few times i was noticed, mission was already accomplished. Just to let you know it wont stop, after years of experience with that method, anytime i am dressed to go out in her presence without prior notice, she stylishly ask where? and at most say one or two wise words where it would have been no. Here's one funny thing about her, all the people i played with, were older so i should not be decieved by my height(with pregnancy history to back it) and she always pretend not to hear each time i tell her my age on birthdays.... I would say dont go this one, find a way to send the gifts cos she may have tune your mind in line with her fears so that if anything go wrong, you would think its cos you did not listen. Prepare well for a next time.

Listen to your mum she wants the best for you and herc instinct tells her when it is good or bad for you.

Floodgater:
Like the last poster said she wont change until you do something. You know the bad thing with this good protective act, is that even when she is not there you wont do or go places (good/innocent) you know she wont approve. It kills your risk taking/daring ability and consequently you achieve less. I trust the good seed that you wont depart from has been sown so live your mind and not hers. It will even help her know more good things. What i did? When every outing approval was a no, i started going out without permission (more like sneak out). The few times i was noticed, mission was already accomplished. Just to let you know it wont stop, after years of experience with that method, anytime i am dressed to go out in her presence without prior notice, she stylishly ask where? and at most say one or two wise words where it would have been no. Here's one funny thing about her, all the people i played with, were older so i should not be decieved by my height(with pregnancy history to back it) and she always pretend not to hear each time i tell her my age on birthdays.... I would say dont go this one, find a way to send the gifts cos she may have tune your mind in line with her fears so that if anything go wrong, you would think its cos you did not listen. Prepare well for a next time.

Wow!
Lol @ even when she's not around,you won't do/go places that she won't approve (innocent/good).
I really concur with your statement.

And i definately would ''prepare well for a next time''

All for love dear..

Just too many monsters In men clothing that are been released to the environment..

Don't blame her.. *even though i think she is wrong *

Cos even a girl chained to the house still get to be *coughs* right there under the parents noses..

Just keep on having those kind of conversation in a friendly way to show your maturity..

One of these days she will seat to think about it in her quiet moment and give you a one shot at it..

If you mess up the opportunity after that..

Walahi... Just prepare to be indoor forever until arranged marriage knock you for head

Warlord3000:
All for love dear..

Just too many monsters In men clothing that are been released to the environment..

Don't blame her.. *even though i think she is wrong *

Cos even a girl chained to the house still get to be *coughs* right there under the parents noses..

Just keep on having those kind of conversation in a friendly way to show your maturity..

One of these days she will seat to think about it in her quiet moment and give you a one shot at it..

If you mess up the opportunity after that..

Walahi... Just prepare to be indoor forever until arranged marriage knock you for head

Thank you sir!

mutter:
Listen to your mum she wants the best for you and herc instinct tells her when it is good or bad for you.

I'l try ma

You should be thankful you have a mum that shielded you from a jungle filled with predators. At 22 your mind is still young to withstand some twisted crazy logic from men whose only mission is to get to your panties. Your mum is acting on your own best interest albeit, from a fear based point of view which could steam from her experiences. You have a duty to dilute those fears in her by coming up with creative ways of showing you are capable of surviving in the wild. Trust me she watches you around the house and engages you to know how your young mind clocks. You need to start behaving and acting matured. Since you guys are 5 n 6 engage her on a deeper level and you will see her fears and appreciate the love of your mother and re assure her. You hold the keys. Some ladies wished they had a mum that cared as your mum. You are lucky.

my dear op, i feel your pain. i was once in your shoes till things changed. its such a terrible feeling esp if it seems some of your friends like practically outdoors. you know what i wan you to do, endure for a while n its all gonna be over before you know. For how long are you gonna be with ur folks? Very soon, one bros would come for you and you'd be out of their house.

But i remember one day, i couldn't take it anymore, i raked for mumc o!! She was shocked!! She gave me a lil bit of freedom after that.

if only mumc wud open up to you, you'd discover her past isn't something she'd want you to experience that's why she's so protective (not saying she lived a rough life or anything of the sort) or she could just be scared of how Nigeria's turning out to be .

Blink n before you know it, its all in the past. Hang in there!!

Chubhie:
You should be thankful you have a mum that shielded you from a jungle filled with predators. At 22 your mind is still young to withstand some twisted crazy logic from men whose only mission is to get to your panties. Your mum is acting on your own best interest albeit, from a fear based point of view which could steam from her experiences. You have a duty to dilute those fears in her by coming up with creative ways of showing you are capable of surviving in the wild. Trust me she watches you around the house and engages you to know how your young mind clocks. You need to start behaving and acting matured. Since you guys are 5 n 6 engage her on a deeper level and you will see her fears and appreciate the love of your mother and re assure her. You hold the keys. Some ladies wished they had a mum that cared as your mum. You are lucky.

I'm really thankful i have a mother like her.

Talking about maturity,i think that being locked up in the house without much ''sensible'' exposure would make one kinda timid.

Meanwhile,u said i should try to dilute her fears. So can u suggest some ''creative ways to show that one is capable of surviving in the wild'' ?

kendraloops:
my dear op, i feel your pain. i was once in your shoes till things changed. its such a terrible feeling esp if it seems some of your friends like practically outdoors. you know what i wan you to do, endure for a while n its all gonna be over before you know. For how long are you gonna be with ur folks? Very soon, one bros would come for you and you'd be out of their house.

But i remember one day, i couldn't take it anymore, i raked for mumc o!! She was shocked!! She gave me a lil bit of freedom after that.

if only mumc wud open up to you, you'd discover her past isn't something she'd want you to experience that's why she's so protective (not saying she lived a rough life or anything of the sort) or she could just be scared of how Nigeria's turning out to be .

Blink n before you know it, its all in the past. Hang in there!!

abi?

But i've been blinking since o,like say time no wan fly lol

i know with time sha.



But errrm i think i'd come for tips on how to RAKE ooo

Ezibless:


I'm really thankful i have a mother like her.

Talking about maturity,i think that being locked up in the house without much ''sensible'' exposure would make one kinda timid.

Meanwhile,u said i should try to dilute her fears. So can u suggest some ''creative ways to show that one is capable of surviving in the wild'' ?

She allows you attend church right? Look for a service unit in the church you can fit in perfectly and join. Stamp your presence in that group and make sure even your pastors wife notices and when you get missing questions will be asked. If your mum is one of those members that's in a clique with the pastors wife or aspires to get closer it becomes a lot more easier. You are 22 and your time will always come when you will leave the nest and do all those stuffs and fantasies your mind wishes to indulge in. Some of us fought as rebels to break free from mamas love before she turns us into baby men. I paid a heavy price for freedom and made silly mistakes on my new found freedom until I realised that freedom places a great demand of responsibility on your shoulders. It is not always greener on the other side. You will have to be mentally,physically and abnormal to survive a cold world. The jungle is no place for a lady innocent and naïve. You are already on the internet and can start by growing your confidence levels here.

Chubhie:
She allows you attend church right? Look for a service unit in the church you can fit in perfectly and join. Stamp your presence in that group and make sure even your pastors wife notices and when you get missing questions will be asked. If your mum is one of those members that's in a clique with the pastors wife or aspires to get closer it becomes a lot more easier. You are 22 and your time will always come when you will leave the nest and do all those stuffs and fantasies your mind wishes to indulge in. Some of us fought as rebels to break free from mamas love before she turns us into baby men. I paid a heavy price for freedom and made silly mistakes on my new found freedom until I realised that freedom places a great demand of responsibility on your shoulders. It is not always greener on the other side. You will have to be mentally,physically and abnormal to survive a cold world. The jungle is no place for a lady innocent and naïve. You are already on the internet and can start by growing your confidence levels here.

lol @baby men!

Good idea. And i think it's just d choir unit that would fit in well.
Was a Chorister while in school but i didn't join in my home church.

I'm gonna consider it nw.
Thanks!

We need to talk Blessing

Acidosis:
We need to talk Blessing

Ghen!! Ghen!!...... Ghen!!! Ghen!!! Ghen!!! Ghen!!!