ARareGem:

I've been àround... been busy. I know u're good. I'll be seeing u around.

I really missed you plenty

hope u had a nice day.

I think the party has been postponed, due to some misunderstandings here and there, we are sorry for the incovinience, we are hoping for something more detailed and well planned next time.

chai

Too bad the party was cancelled...

THE TRAINEE
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.

On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone - "Get me a coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded,
"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

"No," replied the trainee.

"I am the CEO of the company, you fool!"

The trainee shouts back,
"And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!"

"No." replied the CEO indignantly.

"Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.

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GAY LOVE
Two gays decided to have a baby.
They mix their sperms & have a surrogate mother inseminated with it.... baby is born.

They rush to the hospital. 12 babies were in the ward: 11 were crying, only 1 was smiling

To their delight, the nurse says: It's your baby!

Gays: Isn't it a wonder, all are crying but our baby is smiling. This proves superiority of gay love

Nurse: Yeah, he's happy now! But just watch what happens when we pull the thermometer out of his ass!!

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WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS THE DELIVERANCE?
Madam went to see a pastor about her husband Chief for a deliverance (he wouldn't go with her).

"Doctor, my husband has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a fridge/refrigerator!"

"My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..."

Madam leans forward as she softly whispers this in confidence:
"But you see pastor, it is also a problem for me! Chief sleeps with his mouth open and the little light keeps me awake!"

---

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MISSIONARY HORSE
A missionary in the desert finds a lost man and takes him to his house where he nurses him back to health.
When the man is feeling better, he asks the missionary if he could borrow his horse to ride into town.

The missionary replies,
"Yes, but this is a special horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go, and 'Amen' to make it stop."

Not paying much attention, the man acknowledges his understanding.

The man mounts the horse and says, "Thank God." The horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God," and the horse starts running full speed.
Soon the man sees a cliff coming up and he tries to stop the horse.
He shouts and hollers everything he can think of, such as "Whoa, stop," etc. Nothing works.

Finally he remembers what the missionary said and shouts, "Amen!!"

The horse stops inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle, wipes his brow, and says, "Thank God."

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ATMC: Why did you chop the joke posting in half?
BabaGnoni: HumbledbYGrace said to cut the comedy

Awww