Guns. You can never go wrong with guns — shotguns specifically.

Different guns elicit different responses. Either way, you wouldn't want to have to be the one to stand in front of a barrel.

Speaking of barrel, I sure have a flair for the barrels of a sawed off shotgun.

If you find yourself staring at the barrels of a shotgun; I think its perfectly fine to piss and shit your pants profusely — while farting ferociously.

Only the barrel of a gun — loaded or not — can make a non-stammerer start stammering. But that's perfectly understandable.

Even if the person pointing the gun at you is super silent — or even a mute — you automatically start hearing the gun talking to you, lol.

Cognitive impairment is imperative when you've got a shotgun in your face. The gunman asks for your name, you give your ATM card and password.