I've seen a lot of men in my entourage going back home to meet and marry women who live there.
I'm talking about educated, high profile men who DO have a lot of options in their place (whites, blacks, diaspora women like themselves etc.). I really don't understand why they do so ?
The main reason i heard is that african women who live in western countries are "unmanageable" and they feel like someone coming right away from africa will be more submissive. Is that true ?
From a male perspective, do you feel you would be better off marrying someone who lives in nigeria, may be educated and very decent but who you barely know and who will rely on you for every thing than for instance one who lives right next door, has a good job and is a decent but yet independant woman ?

O yes. African women in general are more submissive compared to women in the west because of the cultural differences. Culture has it that women must submit to their husbands. This is one of the most important principles thought to African women right from when they were little girls. So naturally they become more submissive compared to other women in different parts of the world.
It all balls down to the kind of value placed on marriage. Africa for example place high premium on marriage. In fact marriage is one of the most important institutions in Africa.

No wife abroad...

major466:
O yes. African women in general are more submissive compared to women in the west because of the cultural differences. Culture has it that women must submit to their husbands. This is one of the most important principles thought to African women right from when they were little girls. So naturally they become more submissive compared to other women in different parts of the world.
It all balls down to the kind of value placed on marriage. Africa for example place high premium on marriage. In fact marriage is one of the most important institutions in Africa.

Ok i get this sterotype but i don't think it's true. There's no more "submissive women" (in the sense most men understand it) either in Africa or in western countries. My feeling is that these men's dream is to have the marriage their grand parents or parents had. The great-emperor-provider and the shy-submissive-homemaker. But times have changed and young ladies nowadays are no longer inclined to suffer some of the BS their mothers had to.
taking a woman from africa will work as long as she is lost in a new country, has no means or papers of her own. Then things will get to the exact same point than the one they wanted to avoid.

besides this, isn't important to be with someone who share's your interests, life style, intellectual views etc. ? Isn't it important to have someone who is financially independant ? And above all, isn't important to be with someone you had the time to get to know ? Some of these guys will meet a girl on vacations, take 3 or 4 trips back there to spend 2 weeks with her and get married

Chisco82, come and answer

gbingafa:


Ok i get this sterotype but i don't think it's true. There's no more "submissive women" (in the sense most men understand it) either in Africa or in western countries. My feeling is that these men's dream is to have the marriage their grand parents or parents had. The great-emperor-provider and the shy-submissive-homemaker. But times have changed and young ladies nowadays are no longer inclined to suffer some of the BS their mothers had to.

The wind of Globalization and girl child education has since taking root in Africa. A lot of African women are no longer contented with the traditional role of "Housewife" because of rapid changes in the socio economic landscape. Many prefer careers to further develop themselves financially and otherwise. So you are right. Things have change.

taking a woman from africa will work as long as she is lost in a new country, has no means or papers of her own. Then things will get to the exact same point than the one they wanted to avoid.

It still balls down to the value system. Just because a woman gets empowered and educated doesn't really mean she would become less submissive. There are lots of educated working class women who are still very submissive to their husbands.

besides this, isn't important to be with someone who share's your interests, life style, intellectual views etc. ? Isn't it important to have someone who is financially independant ? And above all, isn't important to be with someone you had the time to get to know ? Some of these guys will meet a girl on vacations, take 3 or 4 trips back there to spend 2 weeks with her and get married

Sure. The economic landscape in this age makes it difficult to maintain the Status Quo of having 'Man as the sole provider'. That's why women are getting educated and joining the workings class.

My uncle will always warn me,if you marry anybody that grew up here,that means u don't like ur mother

major466:
O yes. African women in general are more submissive compared to women in the west because of the cultural differences. Culture has it that women must submit to their husbands. This is one of the most important principles thought to African women right from when they were little girls. So naturally they become more submissive compared to other women in different parts of the world.
It all balls down to the kind of value placed on marriage. Africa for example place high premium on marriage. In fact marriage is one of the most important institutions in Africa.

what of those women in naija wey dey use Broken Bottle dey pursue their husBand when dem no give dem money.no Be african women dem Be?

lefulefu:

what of those women in naija wey dey use Broken Bottle dey pursue their husBand when dem no give dem money.no Be african women dem Be?

Sure they're. They have since liberate themselves from submission.

Mprex:
Chisco82, come and answer

It depends on where you are and the kind of women their.
But to me i think it's due to cultural backgroud base on the fact that the men believe that going home to mary will help them maitain their origin. Just imagine some of our brothers that marries white ladies or African americans, their kids are not and can never be nigerians anymore.ie: their root has been cut off once he dies.
Mprex, sweety....na waa oo. Don't worry we will talk about that not here on nairaland ..ok?

Hmmmmm true
Because they think that women abroad a kinda wild, very much exposed and they must have seen it all.
Because I don't know what she did to survive during the Ist few years even if she came with student's visa because there's always a rough patch during the Ist year.

False. On the other hand because African women living in Africa too have their own issues.
You don't know her past, how many sugar daddy has gone down with her.
They must not know you're from abroad they will start pretending to be the best girl in whole wide world and maybe you're looking for typical African punny to chop then you get stuck.


My point is it doesn't matter where the girl is or coming from. I think if any girl loves, she will definitely respect you irrespective of her mentality ( traditional or acquired mentality)

chisco82:

It depends on where you are and the kind of women their.
But to me i think it's due to cultural backgroud base on the fact that the men believe that going home to mary will help them maitain their origin. Just imagine some of our brothers that marries white ladies or African americans, their kids are not and can never be nigerians anymore.ie: their root has been cut off once he dies.
Mprex, sweety....na waa oo. Don't worry we will talk about that not here on nairaland ..ok?

lolss. I didnt mean anything oh! I only wanted you to come and answer the question

No place like home

I think African American ladies are mostly plastic. My point is there are more plastics abroad than here at home.

At least a Nigeria woman will try harder to make her marriage work but I can't really say that for African Americans especially where Money/alimony is involved.

Better come back home and marry a girl that understands what marriage is all about than the ones abroad that knows what divorce is about..

I think African American ladies are mostly plastic. My point is there are more plastics abroad than here at home.

At least a Nigeria woman will try harder to make her marriage work but I can't really say that for African Americans especially where Money/alimony is involved.

Better come back home and marry a girl that understands what marriage is all about than the ones abroad that knows what divorce is about..

My opinion sha