FUNMI

I am a good girl. A very good girl, problem is I know too many bad things and I’ve done quite a few myself irrespective of my dad’s over protectiveness

I got home from the hospital really tired with thoughts of Maxwell on mind. I don’t usually think about guys and I've never had any reason to as I had only loved once and it ended with dad sending the innocent boy to prison, but I had had a little fun every once in a while and had met lots of people along the way.

One of those people happens to be Ayo

She’s obviously female and unlike me, has never been restrained. We attended the same secondary school and she taught me a few “things”. Dad had only let visit me at home because she was female and he probably assumed nothing could go wrong so she became a family friend.

Well, that was why I wasn't exactly surprised when I saw her sitting at the front of my door on a big bag.

“Hey Funmi,” she said.

Judging from her bag size she was going to be around for a while.

HENRY

The painting in room 35 of Hosanna lodge was quite different from the regular paintings you find around. It was the painting of a leaf, a single leaf. Cannabis Sativa, the scientists call it.

I personally had it drawn by Susan, one of my exes like that who wouldn’t have become an ex if she had not started to nag. She was sexy and rugged- just the way I like my girls but she started complaining about literally everything I did, I got tired and cut her off. The story is actually more complex than that but let me not bore you with the past and tell you about the present.

Tonia blue eyes were obviously her most prized assets, one look at her and you’ll be held spell bound by them. Not saying her ass and other “assets” aren’t nice cause they are but there’s just something about those eyes.

“Hey Tonia,” I broke the silence, “in my defense, I was going to call you pretty soon, I just had my hands filled at the moment.”

“Yea right,” Tonia replied sarcastically.

“Don’t mind him, Jessica said, that’s how guys are. Remember one guy I gave my number last week, he said he’ll call me when he got home and up till now he still hasn’t called me.” She added with a regretful tone.

“Maybe he is homeless,” Maxwell wistfully said and his statement amounted to a round of uncontrollable laughter.

“You are not serious,” Jessica finally replied.

“Of course, I’m only kidding,” Maxwell said to Jessica then turned to Tonia, “ anyway, since you both know each other already, I guess tonight might be fun after all since Tonia is now with someone FAMILIAR,” he emphasized on the word ‘familiar’ in a suspicious way staring deeply into my eyes, I had no idea what was on his mind but returned the stare just for the fun of it.

“hello! We are still here,” Jessica snapped, waving her hands in the air in a funny way, “remember us? Jessica and Antonia?”

Maxwell suddenly started laughing and everyone joined, the tension seem to have subsided.

“alright, seriously ladies, I’m not going to let you girls leave this house till we play a game,” Maxwell said.

“which game?” Jessica asked.

“just a game to get to know ourselves better.” He replied and gave me the ‘go and switch on the generator’ look while he went to the kitchen. We have lived together for years so we really didn’t have to say everything out loud, we understood ourselves quite well.

By the time I had switched on the generator and returned to the room, I saw all three of them sitting on the floor in a circle. A filled bottle of vodka, a disposable cup and an empty coca-cola bottle was beside Maxwell. I gave him a knowingly smile.

I went to where we mounted the home theatre and plugged the auxiliary cord to my phone and selected J’cole 2014 Forest Hill Drive album to give the right atmosphere. I furthermore went ahead to switche of the main light bulb and turned on the disco bulb. Don’t bother yourself wondering why we had the disco bulb, there’s a story behind it but let’s leave that story for another day.

When I was through, I joined them on the floor.

“so here’s how the game works,” Maxwell started to say, “we spin the coke bottle clockwise at intervals, whoever the bottle points at get to ask the person who spin the bottle a question or dare him to something. If the person can’t do the dare or answer the question, the person drinks. It’s that simple.”

“I don’t drink,” Tonia said.

“oh! Come on Antonia, don’t be such a kill joy, just try to have fun even if it’s just for tonight,” Jessica urged.

“she’s right Tonia, the game would be fun, trust me,” Maxwell winked.

“yuck!!!” Tonia blurted and we all busted into another laugh frenzy.

“but seriously though, the game would be no fun if you don’t play,” I said and just like magic, she finally agreed to play on the condition that she drank half the regular quantity of vodka, half was more than enough so we agreed and the game started.
Maxwell spins the coke bottle and after spinning for a while it stopped, pointed at Jessica.

“I dare you to remove your shirt,” she hastily said as if she had been expecting the bottle to spin in favour of her.

He removed his shirt and in one quick movement tossed it on the bed… show off.

“Impressive,” Jessica hummed. Maxwell winked at her; he was getting ‘some’ tonight.

Maxwell works out. You know all those people actually subscribe to gyms and still have dumbbell at home? That’s Maxwell. So he has a nice physique compared to me. I silently prayed no one would ask me to remove my shirt too, wouldn’t be a nice scene.

I took the coke bottle and span it and unfortunately for me, it stopped at Jessica again. Oh lord.

“yaay!!! I’m on a roll,” Jessica screamed, “I dare you to err…” she started to say then paused as her eyes wandered, she turned to Tonia and a sinister smile appeared on her face, “I dare you to show Tonia your ass.”

I laughed. “Please pass me the vodka,” I said without any argument. There was no way I was going to show Tonia my ass unless on a more special condition.”

While I drank, Jessica span the bottle and it stopped at Maxwell.

“I dare you to kiss me,” Maxwell said excitedly. The joy in his eyes was unexplainable.

I passed the bottle to Jessica but surprisingly she ignored it and went over to Maxwell’s side, sat down and slid her tongue into his mouth, a few slurping sounds followed and she was back in her position. Still in shock and thinking of what to say, Tonia picked the coke bottle and of course it stopped at me.

“Are you a virgin? “ I asked, I knew daring her would be a waste of time considering the evil dares I had in mind.

“Yes,” she replied and passed the coke bottle to Maxwell. He was reluctant to take it at first as he either didn’t believe her or was surprised. He eventually took and the game continued.

He span the bottle and it stopped at Tonia.

“I dare you to show me your boobs!” Maxwell hastily said and we all started laughing.

“I thought I’m the one to ask or dare here,” she replied grinning. “I dare you to remove you jeans.”

“It’s not fair oh, nobody has dared you and see the kind of evil dare you are daring me,” Maxwell complained.

“Do it or drink,” Tonia replied looking uninterested in his excuse.

He did it, leaving him with just his boxer’s shorts. From that moment onward the game got more serious with everyone doing crazy stuffs, losing piece of clothing’s and drinking several cups, Tonia drank more though. Got to a point she actually started doing the dares as the vodka started taking effect and boosted her confidence.

The game only ended when my phone started ringing, therefore interrupting the music and cooling down the atmosphere. Maxwell looked at his wrist watch and announced it was 10pm, time for partying.

I on the other hand went to check my phone and saw the name Mary-Anne on the screen.

I sighed, unplugged the auxiliary cord and picked the call as I went to the balcony, “hello,” I said.

AMAKA

My palms were sweating but ironically the weather was cold. I stared at the name tag on the door at my front, Prof. Iyagba Elijah.

I took a deep breath and knocked.

“Come in,” I vaguely heard and I turned the handle of the door.

I stood close to the door and watched in silence as Agabya acted like no one just entered his office. He was marking some scripts, I cleared my throat to get his attention but he still ignored me.

“Excuse me Sir,” I voiced out.

“Sit down Miss Okafor and keep quiet.” He said monotonously. I slowly walked to the chair at the other side of his desk and sat down.

He marked a few more scripts making me grow more anxious and about 20 minutes later he finally dropped his pen and packed up his scripts.

“You have a very poor attendance record Miss Okafor and you did woefully in your previous test,” he started to say, “I’m going to be very blunt with you, you are going to fail my course and do you know what happens when you fail?”

“Yes sir,” I replied, evidently unnerved.

“What happens?” he asked.

“I’ll carryover the course.”

He laughed, “No, Miss Okafor you are wrong you would rewrite the course because you obviously can’t waive it but that’s for students who don’t try to outsmart me by sneaking into my class, thus taking me for a fool, he said.

“I’m so sorry sit, I don’t know what really came over me it’ll never happen again,” I pleaded

“Stop begging, it’s no use now, you’re going to fail my course this year and you’re going to rewrite it 5 good times before I give you an E.”

I swallowed my pride and fell on my knees “Ah sir, I swear to God it won’t happen again… I’m sorry sir… Please Sir…. Don’t do this to me Sir…” I cried, saying sir over a million times.

“Don’t cry, you made your decision yourself when you decided to sneak into my class”

“I’m sorry sir, please give me another chance,” I kept on pleading.

He kept quiet, staring at me in silence for a while. Then finally he cut in, “How desperately do you want to pass,” He asked

“I’m very desperate sir”

“I can give you immunity in this school. You can pass my course with an A and have no problem ever again in this school, but you have to earn it.”

I became interested and a little bit relieved, “Anything you say I should do I will do so.”
“Anything?” He asked.

“Yes anything” I hastily replied

“Alright, take this,” he said, handing over to me a card, “meet me at this place 6pm tomorrow. You can leave now”.

“What’s happening he…?” I tried to ask.

“Miss Okafor, I said you can leave now” He said firmly this time.

I stood up and left his office after taking a quick glance at the card. The card read;
[center]JOHNSON HOTELS AND SUITES
Your satisfaction is guaranteed.[/center]

MAXWELL

I wore a new shirt, changed my shoes, sprayed deodorant and that was it. I was in party mode.
The ladies insisted we dropped by their house before I took them to my house so that they could pick some clothes. By the time I was ready the ladies had changed into different outfits

Jessica had a black bum short that laid emphasis on her backside and a green colored sleeveless top to match. I don’t know how she pulled it off but her Nike kicks matched perfectly. Tonia on the other hand didn’t have to try too hard to look sexy. She had on leather leggings and a tank top to match. Her heels almost made her twice as tall as she was supposed to be, I just couldn’t wait to see her dance in those heels, she was bound to break her ankles if she tried.

Henry was the one who delayed us; he had picked his phone call then went to the balcony where he talked for a while before he started dressing. He simply wore a black jean and a brown Ralph Lauren polo shirt with a Ralph Lauren polo shoe to match. He obviously loved the brand.

When everybody was set to go, I picked up the car keys. There was no way I was going to enter public transport with such beauties so I borrowed a friend’s car and with that we were out.

I drove for roughly 30 minutes before I parked at the front of a building with a very similar structure to that of hosanna lodge from the exterior view only that it was painted light brown. Henry was strangely quiet all through the drive I wondered if it had anything to do with the call he received, I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

The music which emanated from within the building only reassured me of how much fun the night was going to be. We all stepped out of the car and walked to the gate paired in two’s. I was tagged with Jessica while Henry was paired with Tonia.
“Where is your IV,” the bouncer asker. He was cladded in all black and he made my regular visits to the gym feel like a waste. Henry smiled, I was sure he was thinking the same thing.

“We don’t really have an IV but the celebrant personally invited me,” I replied.

“Sorry but no ticket, no entrance, those are the rules,”

“How we wan come take do am now?” I asked him.

“You fit call the celebrant on phone make him come pick una, just pray say hin dey with e phone because it’s crazy in there,” He suggested skillfully mixing pidgin English and proper English.

“Alright,” I said and quickly dialed the celebrant phone number; luckily he picked up on the third ring and shortly appeared at the gate.

“Hey!!! Mr. Max!!!” the celebrant shouted as soon as he sighted me. He was on all white; long sleeves, jeans, addidas shoes and two gold chains round his neck. He sure looked good and rich.

“Ray J baba how far na?” I replied, trying to sound as excited as him.

“Captain abeg allow them enter,” he said to the bouncer who quickly moved to the side.

“How far na, abeg no vex say Captain do you like that.” He apologized.

“No worry jhur, the guy just dey do hin job.”

“Correct guy. So how far you na, you no wan introduce me to all this fine babes?”

“No vex my guy, this is Jessica and Tonia,” I said pointing at the respective lady.

“Hi ladies, I’m Raymond. It’s an honor to have you guys here,” he said as he bowed and attempted to kiss the back of Tonia’s palm in a polite gesture but Henry suddenly stopped his hands in mid air and pushed the away.

“You be that kain man?” he asked with a grin, “you no wan know who I be but you wan use idea snatch my babe, na so e dey happen for this arena?”

Raymond laughed. “Chairman no vex abeg, no be my fault. Your babe too set, I forget say I no even know your name.”

“Henry,” Henry simply said and took Raymond hands into his.

“Okay, enough of the talks, let’s go inside,” Raymond said and led us to the back of his flat.

A couple of guys and a few girls filled the backyard, all paired in groups of twos and threes, they were all smoking. Raymond picked up a tray filled with weed and handed it over to me, a pack of rolling papers was also in the tray.

“You still sabi wrap abi?” he asked, thus putting me in a tight corner.

You see, I don’t exactly smoke… or at least I’m trying to stop, the thing is you just don’t decide to stop such habits with the snap of a finger, it takes time and I still smoke casually at parties and special occasions, but I sure still know how to wrap. Now the problem is most people who don’t smoke, don’t like smokers, especially girls, but girls who smoke happen to like guys who smoke and it makes it easier to woo them. The question that was on my mind now was what’s Jessica’s stand on smoking? I could risk taking the tray and start wrapping and Jessica would be all excited therefore increasing my chances with her or she could get very angry and kill all my chances of having anything with her.

“I don’t smoke anymore,” I decided not to risk it.

Raymond look was blank. He turned to Henry, “interested sir?”

Henry is an I-no-send-you kind of guy so he gladly took the tray from my hands in response.

Raymond passed him a chair and he sat on it, pulling Tonia onto his laps.

Suddenly a girl on blonde wig came over and whispered some stuffs into Raymond’s ear, he nodded and excused himself after urging us to have fun.

“Shall we?” I asked Jessica. She nodded and slid her arm into mine as we walked into the house. I sighted the bar and without even observing the environment I hastily walked towards it.

Alcohol, a hot girl and good music, what more could I ask for?

TO BE CONTINUED

PS: Although it’s not entirely my fault, I know I’ve been fucking up that’s why I made this post quite long. I hope it is worth the wait.

Jah bless.

Oya, everybody should comman read o

PBeni, Thermythorpe, Redmosquito, FoxyRebirth, natasha, Neduzze5, yemi2plus, YellowMosquito, DNA1, bimbiola, faithgokz, sizzlezNBT, Enigurl, Trendytessy, Omololamide, smithe113, misterjosh, MzChistar, J0sh007, carolinew, tbabstobadt, Feyifahm, Mizsammy, Ifyx, MsSpaqs, ochetinz, Tundeajani, bukkynababe, walintize, kinsjesus, conniblakes, iamdsam, Clemzy16, Cutepie1, DazzlinPearl, JIGGERNAPPY, Fellycutie, adeswagsdmj, Arnoldo, Gifteey100, shalomtemmy, johnnobles, chinedumo, temiK9, Oppy16, amitalian, Herbheorlar, barbiesexy, emmanwandud, Teenuolah, BlesinE, Perfercter4real, mzkomsy, rhapzidy, Therock5555, lekkybam, Skykid1208, Blize7, legendprac, Seankay, BarnabasCo, chesm, Smhart1, tosingcfr, king94, yormite, teetee92, Kensco, geogino, simplifier, Affable0709, Chuksyd1, Incredibleme, Daniel2802, oloriireomo, kunlesehan, Tafamonday, Nekkie27, slimfredo, ibuome, dryakson, iyk1, m003, BabieGhagha, hyungwang, mador, Aimedrey, peterphd, 360prince, shaks97, Braidz, tinahrex, RazziP, Fehmy25s, Kingphilip, Eblee, Ritababe, dagift333, moyarhtohbadt, Abiolabalogun, DisneyAngel, DzTzl, swifteagle, delepaul, VivyGift, Bec, mizxpensive, mcorazon, Sholyzee, olasha1, Eazybuhfocuz, eyezik3, Holuwarphemmy, Rozay001, Balley, mZsleeq, Edipee, eunisam, Sheenor, Swashi007, linpok, Rayvene, Sugarbabekemi, Fonydear, Ghyft, cuteraregem, JohnFrankling, chimaritoponcho, kemsi2010, peter1994, frenddy6, kennybelle, noblebright, kayojosephy, sooplova, IAmXcessiz, Khemyte, hikmoj, Osariemenjoy, peksmay, blazinglove, walewunmi, kokolet007, toykathy, horhizah, chibwike, Dyoungstar, Softchistar, Omoalhaja7, suzie0, TiffanyJ, xplicity1, capip120, suregalluv, fragilegal, Sleekyshuga, omojoshy, ogbenicodes, Emmykul4love, Harrychocoberry, Oghenekome, toykathy

#EnjoyReading.

yaaaay!!! Finally

at last

thanks for d update.henry na sure guy.nd maxwell sef no slack

Ds is awesome,addicted to the thread already......keep it up boss

Following as always

Chistar welcome back jawe....,I dey feel dis update it has its uniquness






#runs to d back of d hall to eat...,

Psalmwise:
Chistar welcome back jawe....,I dey feel dis update it has its uniquness






#runs to d back of d hall to eat...,

ur beans and bread again?

kingphilip:

ur beans and bread again?

u go chop....#take spoon

kingphilip:

ur beans and bread again?

yea u go chop....#take spoon

chistar01:

Oya, everybody should comman read o

PBeni, Thermythorpe, Redmosquito, FoxyRebirth, natasha, Neduzze5, yemi2plus, YellowMosquito, DNA1, bimbiola, faithgokz, sizzlezNBT, Enigurl, Trendytessy, Omololamide, smithe113, misterjosh, MzChistar, J0sh007, carolinew, tbabstobadt, Feyifahm, Mizsammy, Ifyx, MsSpaqs, ochetinz, Tundeajani, bukkynababe, walintize, kinsjesus, conniblakes, iamdsam, Clemzy16, Cutepie1, DazzlinPearl, JIGGERNAPPY, Fellycutie, adeswagsdmj, Arnoldo, Gifteey100, shalomtemmy, johnnobles, chinedumo, temiK9, Oppy16, amitalian, Herbheorlar, barbiesexy, emmanwandud, Teenuolah, BlesinE, Perfercter4real, mzkomsy, rhapzidy, Therock5555, lekkybam, Skykid1208, Blize7, legendprac, Seankay, BarnabasCo, chesm, Smhart1, tosingcfr, king94, yormite, teetee92, Kensco, geogino, simplifier, Affable0709, Chuksyd1, Incredibleme, Daniel2802, oloriireomo, kunlesehan, Tafamonday, Nekkie27, slimfredo, ibuome, dryakson, iyk1, m003, BabieGhagha, hyungwang, mador, Aimedrey, peterphd, 360prince, shaks97, Braidz, tinahrex, RazziP, Fehmy25s, Kingphilip, Eblee, Ritababe, dagift333, moyarhtohbadt, Abiolabalogun, DisneyAngel, DzTzl, swifteagle, delepaul, VivyGift, Bec, mizxpensive, mcorazon, Sholyzee, olasha1, Eazybuhfocuz, eyezik3, Holuwarphemmy, Rozay001, Balley, mZsleeq, Edipee, eunisam, Sheenor, Swashi007, linpok, Rayvene, Sugarbabekemi, Fonydear, Ghyft, cuteraregem, JohnFrankling, chimaritoponcho, kemsi2010, peter1994, frenddy6, kennybelle, noblebright, kayojosephy, sooplova, IAmXcessiz, Khemyte, hikmoj, Osariemenjoy, peksmay, blazinglove, walewunmi, kokolet007, toykathy, horhizah, chibwike, Dyoungstar, Softchistar, Omoalhaja7, suzie0, TiffanyJ, xplicity1, capip120, suregalluv, fragilegal, Sleekyshuga, omojoshy, ogbenicodes, Emmykul4love, Harrychocoberry, Oghenekome, toykathy

#EnjoyReading.

nawa ooo, my name no dey here oooo

Chistar tnx 4 d update. Welcome back n how is school?

Sunak:
nawa ooo, my name no dey here oooo

even mine sef no dey there...#vexing#

Chistar01: hmmmmmm u didn't even add me on the whatsapp group and you no mention me but diaris God oo

I love this dear.,nice writeup!
U re my mentor so far..

Love ur work but write more ok

Nice work,thanks for the update

seunviju:
Nice work,thanks for the update

Beauty. You are such pretty.

chistar01:

Oya, everybody should comman read o

PBeni, Thermythorpe, Redmosquito, FoxyRebirth, natasha, Neduzze5, yemi2plus, YellowMosquito, DNA1, bimbiola, faithgokz, sizzlezNBT, Enigurl, Trendytessy, Omololamide, smithe113, misterjosh, MzChistar, J0sh007, carolinew, tbabstobadt, Feyifahm, Mizsammy, Ifyx, MsSpaqs, ochetinz, Tundeajani, bukkynababe, walintize, kinsjesus, conniblakes, iamdsam, Clemzy16, Cutepie1, DazzlinPearl, JIGGERNAPPY, Fellycutie, adeswagsdmj, Arnoldo, Gifteey100, shalomtemmy, johnnobles, chinedumo, temiK9, Oppy16, amitalian, Herbheorlar, barbiesexy, emmanwandud, Teenuolah, BlesinE, Perfercter4real, mzkomsy, rhapzidy, Therock5555, lekkybam, Skykid1208, Blize7, legendprac, Seankay, BarnabasCo, chesm, Smhart1, tosingcfr, king94, yormite, teetee92, Kensco, geogino, simplifier, Affable0709, Chuksyd1, Incredibleme, Daniel2802, oloriireomo, kunlesehan, Tafamonday, Nekkie27, slimfredo, ibuome, dryakson, iyk1, m003, BabieGhagha, hyungwang, mador, Aimedrey, peterphd, 360prince, shaks97, Braidz, tinahrex, RazziP, Fehmy25s, Kingphilip, Eblee, Ritababe, dagift333, moyarhtohbadt, Abiolabalogun, DisneyAngel, DzTzl, swifteagle, delepaul, VivyGift, Bec, mizxpensive, mcorazon, Sholyzee, olasha1, Eazybuhfocuz, eyezik3, Holuwarphemmy, Rozay001, Balley, mZsleeq, Edipee, eunisam, Sheenor, Swashi007, linpok, Rayvene, Sugarbabekemi, Fonydear, Ghyft, cuteraregem, JohnFrankling, chimaritoponcho, kemsi2010, peter1994, frenddy6, kennybelle, noblebright, kayojosephy, sooplova, IAmXcessiz, Khemyte, hikmoj, Osariemenjoy, peksmay, blazinglove, walewunmi, kokolet007, toykathy, horhizah, chibwike, Dyoungstar, Softchistar, Omoalhaja7, suzie0, TiffanyJ, xplicity1, capip120, suregalluv, fragilegal, Sleekyshuga, omojoshy, ogbenicodes, Emmykul4love, Harrychocoberry, Oghenekome, toykathy

#EnjoyReading.

how come my name is nt among them.bros watin na

Adon show o! Jus dah i av a feeling de'l bleep or treat demselves Bleep up. Chistar ow was ur long n short vacation? Weldone sire!

oghenekome51:
Adon show o! Jus dah i av a feeling de'l bleep or treat demselves Bleep up. Chistar ow was ur long n short vacation? Weldone sire!

Just dey view with MHD(Mega High Dimension) I see you share

Pls guys I need ur support,help me check out my thread @ joke section,I think its a frontpage material.Here is d https://www.nairaland.com/2104156/70-hillarious-pictures-viewing-pleasure#29979625. Thanks guys,@ chistar01 I hail ooo,sorry for derailing ur thread.I have been following u tey tey.

Interesting....

Wow! This story is so so interesting that i couldnt take off my eyes from it till i got here. chister01,you are a wonderful writer,im about to follow you on NL beacuse i was inspired,hope one day im gonna learn to write cus i have real life story i wish i can write about.love your work.UPDATE pls.

Enthralling piece chistar01 really enjoying It... More updates biko

Thank you

RedBenson:


Beauty. You are such pretty.

seunviju:
Thank you

You welcome!

Livingwalker:

Just dey view with MHD(Mega High Dimension) I see you share

Bros i dobale, scatter leg, raise yansh, troway salute give u o! Am so sorry for being absent!

chirstar01 its too interesting please post

Pls update na