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A Short Story By A Nairalander - Literature - Nairaland

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A Short Story By A Nairalander by writinganimal(m): 9:32pm On Dec 12, 2014
Mama signed, sealed and delivered.
A family in Nigeria was puzzled when they received the corpse of their dead mother which had arrived from the USA in a coffin, sent over to them by their sister. The tiny corpse of their diminutive mother pushed up on the inside of the coffin so much so that their mother’s face was practically touching the glass cover. The family members were at the point of crying foul to the airport authorities when an elder uncle opened the coffin and found a letter from their sister which read;
Dear sisters and brothers
I am sending you our mother’s remains for burial in Lagos. Sorry I couldn’t come along as the expenses will be too high. You’ll find inside the coffin under mama’s body, 12 cans of Libby’s corned beef and 12 cans of luncheon meat. Let that be my contribution for the burial’s cooking. On mama’s feet is a brand new pair of Reeboks (size cool for junior. There are also four pairs of Reeboks under mama’s head for Tunde’s sons.
Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T- shirts one for Chinedu, one for Roy and the other four for my nephews. Mama also has on; one dozen wonder bras (your favourite Rhoda) just divide them among yourselves. The two dozen Victoria secret panties that mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins. Mama has on eight Dockers pants; Musa, one is for you and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on mama left wrist please take it. And on her right wrist is a black Kenneth Cole watch for Edem. Mary, mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, rings and a necklace, you can now have them. Lastly, the six pairs of channel stockings that mama has on her feet must be divided among the teenage girls there, I hope they like the colours.
Your loving Sister.
P.S Nene, please handle the task of finding a nice dress for mama for her burial (You could go to a nice ‘bend down’ at Orile or at Yaba...). In case anybody needs anything else, let me know as Uncle has not been feeling too good lately.
Re: A Short Story By A Nairalander by ChubbyT(f): 9:43pm On Dec 12, 2014
lol...dis is crious.
Re: A Short Story By A Nairalander by Greyworld: 10:00pm On Dec 12, 2014
Watin mak yu tink dis kind senerio?....... Na wa o, funny though.
Re: A Short Story By A Nairalander by writinganimal(m): 10:31pm On Dec 12, 2014
I frequently have stuff sent to me so... Check out my other stories though you'll love em
Re: A Short Story By A Nairalander by Obinnau(m): 6:07am On Dec 14, 2014

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