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Mourinho's Maddest Metaphors - Sports - Nairaland

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20 Maddest Metaphors Of Jose Muorinho / The Maddest 24hours In Football History (2) (3) (4)

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Mourinho's Maddest Metaphors by baski92(m): 8:53am On Dec 14, 2014
- Newcastle United beat Chelsea 2-1 : " No," Mourinho responded when asked after ( December 6's ) 2-1 defeat by Newcastle if he would defend a slender lead in a similar fashion. "You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch and then stop the game because there was a cow."
-Jose Mourinho during his Inter days : After Barcelona complained about having to take a coach to Milan due to travel disruption caused by an Icelandic volcano eruption in 2010, the then-Inter boss said: "The way they are, tomorrow we will probably read I am to blame for the volcano. Maybe I have a friend in the volcano and I am responsible for that."
-Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho : “I am not concerned about how Chelsea are viewed morally,” Mourinho rambled in his first stint at Stamford Bridge. “What does concern me is that we are treated in a different way to other clubs. Some clubs are treated as devils, some are treated as angels. I don’t think we are so ugly that we should be seen as the devil and I don’t think Arsene Wenger [and Co.] are so beautiful that they should be viewed as angels.”
-"Look, I’m a coach. I’m not Harry Potter," Mourinho said
after drawing 0-0 with Real Mallorca on his competitive Real
Madrid debut. "Harry Potter is magical but, in reality, there is
no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real."
- "I am prepared," he said after signing Sami Khedira in
his first transfer window as Real Madrid coach. "The more
pressure there is, the stronger I am. In Portugal, we say the
bigger the ship, the stronger the storm. Fortunately for me, I
have always been in big ships. FC Porto were a very big ship
in Portugal, Chelsea were also a big ship in England and Inter
were a great ship in Italy. Now I’m at Real Madrid, which is
considered the biggest ship on the planet."
- Mourinho on squad rotation during his first spell at
Chelsea: "If you have at home one Bentley and one Aston
Martin, if you go all day everyday in the Bentley and leave the
Aston Martin in the garage you are a bit $tupid."
-Ashley Cole and Jose Mourinho : "It's like having a blanket that is too small for the bed, Mourinho said when Chelsea were in the midst of an injury crisis at the end of the January transfer window in 2007. "You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed but the blanket is made of cashmere."
-Jose Mourinho and Roman Abramovich : "If you have no eggs, you have no omelette," Mourinho's infamously veiled criticism of Roman Abramovich's transfer policy began in 2007. "In the supermarket, you have class one, class two and class three eggs. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So, when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot get there, you have a problem." He was sacked shortly afterwards.
-Referencing his famous egg metaphor, Mourinho described his Chelsea team at the start of last season as: “Beautiful young eggs, eggs that need a mum, in this case a dad, to take care of them, to keep them warm during the winter, to bring the blankets and to work and improve them and one day we'll arrive in a moment when the weather changes, the sun rises, we break the eggs and the eggs are ready to go for life at the top level.”
-Jose Mourinho and Claude Makelele : "Claude Makelele is not a football player – Makelele is a slave," Mourinho said in criticism of the midfielder being called up to the France squad despite having announced his international retirement. "He’s played the biggest game you can, the World Cup final, and now wants to retire but the coach told us if he is not playing for France, he is not playing for Chelsea. We know the rules. You are a slave, you have no human rights."
-Jose Mourinho and Manuel Pellegrini : "The title race is between two horses and a little horse that needs milk and needs to learn how to jump," Mourinho said after Chelsea defeated Manchester City in February this year. "Maybe next season we can race."
-Jose Mourinho and Lionel Messi : "Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres," Mourinho started, in reaction to a young Lionel Messi getting Asier del Horno sent off for Chelsea in 2006. "And this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting."
-Stamford Bridge in the rain : "Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists," Mourinho said ahead of a Champions League clash with Barcelona in 2006. "Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top it's a disgrace but the ball rolls at normal speed."
-Gonzalo Higuain and Karim Benzema : "If you go hunting with a good dog, you hunt more. If you go with a cat, you hunt less but you're still hunting," Mourinho responded when asking about Gonzalo Higuain's injury, meaning that he would be starting Karim Benzema.
-"If I wanted to work quietly, I would have stayed at Portugal,” Mourinho said at his first press conference as Chelsea boss – the same one in which he coined the term 'special one'. “In Portugal we have pretty blue chairs: the Champions League, God and then, right after him, me.”
-Rafa Benitez and Jose Mourinho : “It was a goal that came from the moon - from the Anfield stands,” Mourinho said after Chelsea were defeated by a ghost goal in the 2004-05 Champions League semi-final. “The best team lost. Liverpool scored - if you can say that they scored because maybe you should say the linesman scored.”
-"Young players are a little bit like melons," Mourinho
mused in 2007 towards the end of his first stint at Chelsea.
"Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per
cent sure that the melon is good. Sometimes you have
beautiful melons but they don’t taste very good and some
other melons are a bit ugly and, when you open them, the
taste is fantastic. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and
they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the
melon."
-Jesualdo Ferreira : "The one with 30 years experience has never won anything; the one with three years has won a lot," Mourinho wrote in his newspaper column in February 2005, regarding Porto coach Jesualdo Ferreira. "The one with a 30-year career will be forgotten when he ends it; the one with three could end it right now and he could never be erased from history. This could be the story of a donkey who worked for 30 years but never became a horse."
-“As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left
the bus in front of the goal,” Mourinho said, famously coining
the term 'parking the bus' after drawing 0-0 with Tottenham
in 2004. “I would have been frustrated if I had been a
supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs
came to defend. There was only one team looking to win,
they only came not to concede; it’s not fair for the football we
played.”
-Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho : "I think he is one of these people who is a Viewer," Mourinho said of Arsene Wenger in 2005. "He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, about Chelsea. I don't know if he wants my job, I don't know. He loves Chelsea."

1 Like

Re: Mourinho's Maddest Metaphors by Ikpewe: 9:08am On Dec 14, 2014
THE SPECIAL ONE
Re: Mourinho's Maddest Metaphors by EnOuGh90(m): 10:08am On Dec 14, 2014
Mad man
Re: Mourinho's Maddest Metaphors by Haywhymido(m): 7:09am On Dec 15, 2014
Any other mourinho is a counterfeit

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