All this poem you are sharing, there is God o.

I know nothing about poems and would have love to learn sha.

*registering my presence.*
Ayamlaykorn

Anticipation! Anticipation! Anticipation!

Laykorn
Leki10
Texanomaly

Review my poem na

*clears throat*
A minute....

Miss Veralaw. Your theme is awesome.
Just that,

Every line of a poem starts with a block letter.
And, always remember to punctuate your poem just like you'd punctuate an essay.

You made some mistakes in the punctuation.

But overall, this is a good poem.
Make sure you read more and more poems.
Ciao
Ayamlaykorn

laykorn:
Miss Veralaw. Your theme is awesome.
Just that,

Every line of a poem starts with a block letter.
And, always remember to punctuate your poem just like you'd punctuate an essay.

You made some mistakes in the punctuation.

But overall, this is a good poem.
Make sure you read more and more poems.
Ciao
Ayamlaykorn

Thanks

laykorn:
Miss Veralaw. Your theme is awesome.
Just that,

Every line of a poem starts with a block letter.
And, always remember to punctuate your poem just like you'd punctuate an essay.

You made some mistakes in the punctuation.

But overall, this is a good poem.
Make sure you read more and more poems.
Ciao
Ayamlaykorn

I concur. Nice job Veralaw.

nice one dear....the aforementioned reviews are correct.... The 4th to the last line should be "dark depth" right?

Vera, this is great.
I wish he comes back soon

You can decide not to punctuate at all, although make sure you know how to punctuate. Some poets don't punctuate.

But I've never seen someone who mixed punctuated stanzas with un-punctuated ones.

Cc: texanomaly
Ayamlaykorn

Follow me back. I'd like to email you about this poem.

texanomaly:
Follow me back. I'd like to email you about this poem.

Done.

laykorn:
Vera, this is great.
I wish he comes back soon

You can decide not to punctuate at all, although make sure you know how to punctuate. Some poets don't punctuate.

But I've never seen someone who mixed punctuated stanzas with un-punctuated ones.

Cc: texanomaly
Ayamlaykorn

done

I'm really sorry about mixing up your poem with another. I intended to send that in an email. I'm truly sorry.

texanomaly:
I'm really sorry about mixing up your poem with another. I intended to send that in an email. I'm truly sorry.

No mess sis,
do the correction here

Veralaw:

No mess sis,
do the correction here

Again sorry for the mix up. You are really good. I love this poem.


You used repetition in your poem. I don't believe you used it to full advantage. Repetition can be used to emphasize the idea that your love is hopeless, but using hopeless, a hopeless lover is overkill.

Helpless and hopeless makes us see more clearly what you are feeling. Then repeating it over and over emphasizes the emotion.

Just my opinion.

Cc. laykorn


HOPELESS LOVER

I stare into the dark
Day and night.
Deep in thought,
Strapped,
And in a pensive mood.
I think of you.
Trapped!
A hopeless lover.

Our stolen kiss,
My first,
Lingers on my lips.
The taste of your bud
The taste of a miss.
I am helpless.
A hopeless lover.

The brush of our skin,
Still tingles my loins.
Couture of your elegance,
Coys my realms,
Catch my breath.
Pose with me.
I am helpless.
A hopeless lover.

I caress your design.
I behold your gait.
The watchman's whistle whirls.
Past midnight.
It was all a dream.
I remain helpless,
A hopeless lover.

At Peak of dawn,
I run to the pavement,
To watch your steps,
Hand in hand with your gent.
I watch, helpless.
A hopeless lover.


I know I can't have you.
Join my realm
And be my beloved
In my dreams.
Helpless.
A hopeless lover.

Helpless me, destined to be,
A hopeless lover.

Modified ^^^

Great
Thanks.