Joy4mi: congrats sir,i was expecting this update b4 march.now season one has ended.lets know when season2 begins (wedding,pregnancy,delivery of twins) i will be waiting.

Okaaaaaaaaaay.........one step at a time madam. I'm only human you know.

Wow,that was an incredibly romantic proposal.A bit mischievous with the teddy and ugly card, O the look on Olori face would have been priceless.Congratulations Olori and Serubawaon,wishing many happy,fulfilling and loving years ahead.

@ Madam CC
Only Gele 27k

Uuummm...You guys are beginning to scare me with all this gele talk o.

I read all 25 pages. Wow
Mr Serubawon, I'm happy God has put a smile on your face and wiped away your tears. You are a strong man. May God continue to bless you and your family. E o ni sukun iyawo mo, e de ni sukun omo. Amin

Beloved1993: I read all 25 pages. Wow
Mr Serubawon, I'm happy God has put a smile on your face and wiped away your tears. You are a strong man. May God continue to bless you and your family. E o ni sukun iyawo mo, e de ni sukun omo. Amin

Amin o. Thank you so much for the prayers. You have no idea how much that means to me. Whatever your hearts' desires, the Lord shall meet you at the point of your needs. Once again, thanks.

Serubobo, I am so proud of u. I talk bout u 2 evry1 i know & let dem know dat there are not only gud men but wonderfuly fantastic men in dis world. Men in general shuld use u as a role model. I cry 4 joy anytime i read ur tread and it just makes me feel very good inside. God bless u, ur children, olori and her daughter. May you union last forever. E ma lo ara yin gbo!!

Hey Serubawon - congrats on the proposal.
CC - any price you put on the gele tins isorit jare, we full ground and we dey capable.

By the way I got a couple of questions, may derail the thread a bit.

1. Do you think people who are insecure control freaks can change?
2. If that is possible - how long would that take? would their partners not be worn out and lose hope before that change happens

I ask, especially for people who have obviously had these traits from years back and right now they are way into their forties.

I would really like to know if you know anyone who did change and what it took.

Questions are to anyone by the way.

Analytical - u beta come out

@salsera. Hmmm......great question. I'm on my way to work, so I'll have to expantiate more when I get back. Olori is a good example and she's only happy when she's in control of the whole situation. I am a complete aberration to her and she just couldn't figure me out. But guess what, she's changing.

You can't change a person's character, but you can change the way they react to situations. I'll say more when I get back. I'm sure analytical baba, will hold the forte, before I get back.

Just to clarify
Insecurity - in terms of how you trust others, looking for how you will catch them like you yourself had something to hide
COntrol - checking phones, mails, passwords, everything is used in arguments as suspicious, keeping phones hidden to spite the other, must know what you wear ,where you bought it, must always be right and even when u are right would still disagree, any attempt to disagree is seen as an affront.

Etcetera

Additionally, please dont quote my posts cos i may need to modify.

@ Salsera,

I have learnt that adults don't change. They may change on d periphery, but d underlying factor still remains.

If d spouse thinks this person will change, I'm sure he/she will wait 4 long.

Having said that, there is nufin or no one God can't change.

serubawon:

Amin o. Thank you so much for the prayers. You have no idea how much that means to me. Whatever your hearts' desires, the Lord shall meet you at the point of your needs. Once again, thanks.

Amin. Thanks sir.
Reading your posts opened my eyes to what it is like from the widowers side.
I don't know how you waited this long without re-marrying. You are a strong man.

@ Serubawon:

Congratulations on your finding a wife and may the favour of the Lord locate you, in Jesus' name! Sooooooo happy for you and olori.

I have been following this thread since it's inception, and I must say your kind of man is rare. I believe it was made possible by the power of Him who makes all impossible things possible, the only wise God, The Lord Jesus Christ. I've been blessed a lot spiritually and otherwise by following this thread. Here you can feel the sincerity of friendship, the encouraging word of God and the manifestation of His glory (now on Op & his Olori).

@ Madam CC: for real I'm signing up for the aso ebi x 2, honourable must attend also. We must not miss this occasion to rejoice for what the Lord has done by lifting Op out of the valley of depression and putting smiles all over his face and joy in his heart.

@Serubawon: your joy will never diminish again, it will know no bounds in Jesus' name. Your house shall be called the house of refuge and affliction shall not arise upon you and your household again a second time. Never, IJN. There shall be no more there an infant of days, nor an old man that has not fulfilled his days: for the child shall die a hundred years old Isa 65:20.

I'll be waiting for madam CC's aso-ebi contact info Pls give us at least two months notice to adjust schedule.

@Tgirl
I think I tend towards your train of thought tho

@all
any other takers for my questions?

@ Salsera,

It'd be difficult 2change such person, because d foundation 4 such insecurity and domineering attitude might have been laid @ childhood, or early adolescence.

Ur Reactions:
Silence- I must say, when U keep quiet, U drown in silence. And nothing changes.

Explanations- if U are a soft-hearted,easy-going person, when explanations turn 2 arguments, u might not be able 2drive home Ur point. Arguments, voices raised, anger, and in d end, our dear Oga still wins d arguement. Problem compounded, not solved.

Way forward:
In my experience, I realised dat I was always trying 2 prove something.
I didnt do dis...didnt say dat...didnt intend dis...didnt go here....etc

I got tired.
So I established 1 thing.

'This is who I am. Take me as I am or.....don't'

Wat's left now is 4 U 2be consistent.

Years down d line, I am still who I am.

Dat consistency has resulted in trust. Dat trust has solved a lot.

It even amazes me how much trust one can have in another person, how much trust can be vested in me.

salsera: Hey Serubawon - congrats on the proposal.
CC - any price you put on the gele tins isorit jare, we full ground and we dey capable.

By the way I got a couple of questions, may derail the thread a bit.

1. Do you think people who are insecure control freaks can change?
2. If that is possible - how long would that take? would their partners not be worn out and lose hope before that change happens

I ask, especially for people who have obviously had these traits from years back and right now they are way into their forties.

I would really like to know if you know anyone who did change and what it took.

Questions are to anyone by the way.

Analytical - u beta come out

personally I dont think that people can totally change. The best they can do is to part change and smoothen the rough edges. Counseling may help as it may get the person to look inward as to why he/she is the way that they are but that may really only work too if the person acknoledges that there is a problem and want to change. It will also help deal with the root of whatever is causing the insecurity

These are just my personal thoughts and from experiences that I have seen with people

@Dynamite, Madam CC....as always, thank you, thank you, thank you. As I said, no rush, slow and steady wins the race.

@Beloved1993. I understand what you're talking about and i pray your uncle has found happiness again. Me? Yes, I'm very happy and even though I know that Olori and I will experience our own share of challenges, the most important thing is for us to feel strongly enough about each other to weather all storms and continue through life together as a team. Of course, we have 3 kids to encourage us all the way. Over here, our relationship is generating so much interest and people expect us to be married yesterday. I'm not rushing anything. Emotions are strong, but you have to be practical and know that marriage has it's own realities and challenges. That's what we have to be real about. By God's special grace, it will all be well and the story will continuously be a happy one.

@salsera. Your explanation of your question is waaaay beyond Olori, She's basically just strong willed and stubborn at times (I'm going to get in trouble for that)

Silent reader all these years
I remember going through this thread sometime last year or maybe the year before
Of lately i saw it at the top so i thought ''hey maybe he's found someone''
Glad it is so, congrats Mr and to your wife to be. All is well that ends well
To all the encouraging people who had op's back on this thread, trouble makers and silent readers Wow

ok oh na which color of gele/ishafu we dey use oh

and @ topic when is the wedding?

Phew, 25 pages of inspirational story
Drama, suspense, from glory to glory

I thought i've seen it all on Nairaland
But sha oooo, human is nothing but mere sand

Serubawon, you are the man
God truly, has got you in his plan

Abeg make una no mind me, this thread got me glued and i escaped query by whiskers

If you will call your 'troubles' 'experiences,'
and remember that every experience
develops some latent force within you,
you will grow vigorous and happy,
however adverse your circumstances may seem to be,

Wish you all the very best

Please when is the wedding oooooooo!

I need to inform the caterer, the decorator, the cake maker, the aso ebi supplier, the alaga iduro and the alaga ijoko, book venue . . . .God will help me ooooo! so much work to do

My family section members we are having our own corner o! we are bringing our own food, drinks and of course we are wearing our own and co aso ebi

meexteriox: Phew, 25 pages of inspirational story
Drama, suspense, from glory to glory

I thought i've seen it all on Nairaland
But sha oooo, human is nothing but mere sand

Serubawon, you are the man
God truly, has got you in his plan

Wow, my head swell small when I read this o. Thank you and God bless you

chaircover: Please when is the wedding oooooooo!

I need to inform the caterer, the decorator, the cake maker, the aso ebi supplier, the alaga iduro and the alaga ijoko, book venue . . . .God will help me ooooo! so much work to do

My family section members we are having our own corner o! we are bringing our own food, drinks and of course we are wearing our own and co aso ebi

Madam CC...I'm still recovering from the engagement ring. That rock drained me of living energy. Wedding never get date naa. You know say na you go be the 1st to know. I'm in the process of moving to my new place. This month has been very "interesting".

serubawon:

Wow, my head swell small when I read this o. Thank you and God bless you

Bless you too bro

I'm married to my soul mate (yeah, dat's right) with 3 lovely kids. Reading through this thread, I saw my family in another light.
Seriously, I could not even fathom life without my wife or any of my kids, I tried putting my self in your shoes and no - e no gree enta.
I tried for some minutes to imagine what you must have gone through - and I came to the conclusion that it takes God, sheer resilience,
character (strong), positivity, inner strength and1 every conceivable virtues to climb out of this kind of valley.

In all, I'''ve learnt a lesson or two from this. Every moment with your family is an opportunity from the Almighty to enable us appreciate God's
goodness in our very short existence on earth. The invaluable contribution by all and sundry is really soul lifting.

CC, Spoilt, Analytical and many others, una tooooooo muuucccccccchhhhhhhh

@Serubawon, many congrats! The picture you have up there is priceless! So happy for you and wife-to-be. You certainly deserve the best in life. And it shall come to pass. The countdown begins ...

@CC, long time! Trust you to make all the arrangements. How is your family?

@Salsera, yours truly is out of steam at the moment. Appreciated.

Analytical: @Serubawon, many congrats! The picture you have up there is priceless! So happy for you and wife-to-be. You certainly deserve the best in life. And it shall come to pass. The countdown begins ...

@CC, long time! Trust you to make all the arrangements. How is your family?

@Salsera, yours truly is out of steam at the moment. Appreciated.

Analyical Baba!!!!! The most analytic analycuius nairalander. How is everyone?. We dey oooooo! . . .Just on standby for serubobo to give us the date and we all get moving. BTW I am booking you down for the MC of the day

This is the best thread ever!!!! I lost my dad when i was 14 and i now understand how my mum felt, wat she went thru nd wat she's still going thru. I thank God 4 her cos she has been supporting me nd my brother, she has been feeding us and funding our education thru countless loans. I'll surely put her first wen i start working.

Serubobo, what is happenin? Haaaa....keeping us in d dark like dis is not healty 4 some of us o (espacially me). Dis page is where i come when i am feeling down or depressed. It inspires me 2 rise above my challenges. Abeg, speak ooooooo......

Hey y'all. It's been a while. Serubawon this wedding has not happened? Better marry her fast. I like to close deals fast. When is it?

I hate coming 2 this thread. I am never able to read a full page without crying. This is my 15th cry. I just disgraced myself now.

Wish you luck seru. I can't stand the emotion to read through

Analytical are you taken? My matchmaking antennae keeps seeing opportunity.

Congrats serrubawon

Now go lose weight for your wedding