Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

Terrible I must say! Resort to prayer n believe me, miracles do "still" happens; the wedding might be called off! Besides did he(hubby) not discuss it with you?

Is this a Nollywood production?

If not, and this is real, please tell us the whole story since you decided to tell us any story in the first instance. How can your husband just start another family? Please give us the unedited gist.

So sorry dear. Pick up yourself and move on. It's easy to say I know especially when it looks like it caught you by surprise but you can't keep being miserable for ever. Don't cry for someone who is not worth it, you've shed enough tears in memory of what existed once, it's time to forge ahead in pursuit of your happiness. Tomorrow is gonnna be better!

Ah!

This is deep.
I do not know what to tell you. I am not in your shoe.
I do not know what went wrong.
But... please,
Take heart, be patient like they said and think of the next positive solution for you and your children.
Don't gaaaan kill yourself because of someone that doesn't care o

Evina:
Is this a Nollywood production?

If not, and this is real, please tell us the whole story since you decided to tell us any story in the first instance. How can your husband just start another family? Please give us the unedited gist.

U sef, u sha one hia torry...
Unto 'unedited' jist things...

veave:




U sef, u sha one hia torry...
Unto 'unedited' jist things...

So you no want make we advice her properly? To achieve that, we have to investigate the mara thoroughly and to do that we need her to write a proper statement.

Evina:


So you no want make we advice her properly? To achieve that, we have to investigate the mara thoroughly and to do that we need her to write a proper statement.

Okay. Me sef dey wait. I never sleep.
@op.

Dearie, lets know how it started.
Please do not leave out anything # even your faults.
So we know how to tackle it with you.

Evina:
Is this a Nollywood production?

If not, and this is real, please tell us the whole story since you decided to tell us any story in the first instance. How can your husband just start another family? Please give us the unedited gist.

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

Evina:
Is this a Nollywood production?

If not, and this is real, please tell us the whole story since you decided to tell us any story in the first instance. How can your husband just start another family? Please give us the unedited gist.

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

Life is a biitch buh u aint tellin us somfin, a man wakes up wiv d support of his whole family goin 4 anoda wife while u alive nd even happenin within ya domain.

Life mst b a biitch...

This is sad,I may not say anything to ease your pain but your story should be a lesson to other women
Ladies,please get an education and have a career you can fall back on and do not ,I repeat,do not depend on any man for your total sustenance.
This is a prime example of what can happen when one gets into marriage uneducated or under-educated and naive with time on your hands
You become too absolved in the marriage ,losing your sense of self and with little confidence
The man becomes the focus and the center of your life and any perception real or imagined that this man (who is now elevated to the status of a god) may be slipping off your hand is met with brutal force.

You tried to fight other women off him
You don't do that
Men who cheat enjoy that attention
You teach people to respect you by holding your own
Most men don't like weaklings and women who smother them
They prefer strong willed but loving women who they know can take charge of the family should he drop dead
You are too needy
Needy women scare people
There is no need calling fire and brimstone for this woman and your hubby,they are both grown and they have made their decisions
Leaving or staying is your choice but never leave without your kids if you ask me
Take your children and move on,if you have to fight for custody of your kids please do
If you leave your kids,they will become maids and boi boi to this new wife and second rated citizen in their father's house

Op,I will partly blame you for this..

You knew all the while the man you got married to,you just allow unnecessary jealousy overtook you.

With the resulting effect,you are screaming murder..

You have to take heart,and accept fate..

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.


Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

Living under that roof will mean torture for you
I wonder why the man would want to do that
It is dangerous
The man has heaped enough insult on you for 25 people,please pick up the little dignity you have left and get out of there
If he wants to support you and kids, let him do it from another roof.
Call your parents immediately and return there if you have no place else to go
You have a degree ,good
You need to look for a job and I pray you get one fast

This is why I hate that word " housewife"
No wife should ever agree to that plan ,it keeps you stuck with No voice and eating shait because you have no means
People think when men say they don't want their wife working,it is always out of love for them,many times it is their mode of control and that is exactly what happened here

I don't believe this story. You just registered today and want us to start writing about you? or alternatively it can be that you are one of those MOUTHY females on NL talking crap left and right. And now that the Chicken(in this case your husband)has finally come home to roost(come to his senses) you are here complaining.

But first, reveal your true IDENTITY on Nairaland so we can know how to advice you.

lafflaff123:
I don't believe this story. You just registered today and want us to start writing about you? or alternatively it can be that you are one of those MOUTHY females on NL talking crap left and right. And now that the Chicken(in this case your husband)has finally come home to roost(come to his senses) you are here complaining.

But first, reveal your true IDENTITY on Nairaland so we can know how to advice you.

That's not a reason to doubt it
I can register 40 names this night if I choose to
Many people post real issues with a moniker that won't be linked to them
They feel safer that way and able to pour their hearts out

babyosisi:


That's not a reason to doubt it
I can register 40 names this night if I choose to
Many people post real issues with a moniker that won't be linked to them
They feel safer that way and able to pour their hearts out

Makes sense.

**MODIFIED **


I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

How could you allow his family to choose you for him? I guess this happens back in the 80s. He's meant to choose you and introduce you to his family. What role did your family play in this? If you are from a good family, your family ought to have reject the marriage unless of course he is very rich and y'all after his money.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good
Are you serious? Have what all? Are you educated at all? This thought is absurd!

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

Of course, he will find one flimsy excuse. He never loved you, you were been matchmaked.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores
Since you allowed his family to choose you for him, you have to accept him that way

i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.
At this point, he must have been planning on what to do-to remarry

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
Obviously, your husband is an introvert and it takes the grace of God to change the heart of such. They can allow everyone to be pushing them around, making choices for them but once their eyes are open, their decisions are hard to change even if they're wrong

After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

You were even lucky to have completed your uni. Many, once in marriage, never had the opportunity to.
He didn't allow you to work rather to be a full housewife? And you accepted? You are really weak! What's the essence of the cert you laboured for? What will be your contribution to the family? Doing house chores right? School didn't pass through you honestly!

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
You see...you don't allow someone to choose for you

He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

The same people that introduced you to him, now he's sending them back to you

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
It won't go rossy if y'all are under the same umbrella.
Won't hurt? That's a lie. Moreover, if he won't, his would-be wife will.

He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.
Truly, you did together with his family

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

Yes, you did together with his family and partly your family because you've never mentioned the role your family played in all these. How could your family allowed you to be matchmaked? Are they not educated too? No time for regret please, you have to face the reality.

Now, you have to go back to square one, your family. Don't ever live your children behind. Try to fight for your kids.
Do whatever in your power not to let the marriage holds 'cos 10years of marriage and three kids? That's a long way
Don't be far from your pastor, always let him know what's going on for guidance.
Please, find a job to do


I think say na inside naija movies these shiiii dey happen

Op, I am sorry to hear that. I wish you good luck in whatever step you take. This is not the time to think if you destroyed your home or not. It is time to think of your next step. Please whatever you do, try to be independent.

Women, before you get married, get an education then an established career or business. And when you get married, do not stop work. Try and combine both. That love of your life today could become a nightmare tommorrow. Most men who stop their wife from working use it as a form of control. You are supposed to have a life before marriage and not start life only after marriage.

This is really sad.

Wetin be dis sef

This is a classic example of when it's absolutely necessary to date someone before marrying them. Say no to matchmaking especially when it comes from the family.

@OP
You cannot force yourself on a man. His mind is pretty made up and absolutely no point you staying in an unhappy environment when it's almost certain the situation will eventually snowball into uninvited health challenges.
Learn to love yourself and know you deserve more.
Your life and happiness ought not to revolve around a man. He has at least agreed to provide financial assistance for the kids so make something out of your life period

I'd be crazy to believe this, but also the husband might be at fault but some women after them marry wicked pass gadafi. .....they'll make your life miserable, madam before you curse, check your self.

Let it go #TDJAKES

Jeez. I can really feel your pain, what can I even say? Please, don't poison or do anything bad to him. I'd have loved to advise you to leave but what about your kids? If you leave them behind, their 'step-mum' might maltreat them.

Can you accept your fate? Do you wanna risk leaving your kids? Do you wanna start a new life with your kids keeping in mind most men wouldn't wanna take care of kids not their own. Whatever your decision is, I pray God be with you and make your kids prosper.

I'm totally inexperienced when it comes to giving advice about 'family' stuff.

A poet once said:


"Why is it that a woman will get with a man that already has another, - encourages him to leave his woman, THEN expects him to be faithful to her."

.

You do not have brothers that can go beat some sense into his head?

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

Hmmmm

the family structure is being dragged to the mud daily.