In4matic:
Sorry to send this late but OP, you need to read, understand ALL I put down here before you make a mistake.

From your story, I sense you are from the S/E or S/S Nigeria so I'll talk to you like a sister.

You are married to one of the best beings that have answered the name MAN in todays world.

Your Husband has done nothing wrong in the sight of Man or God

YOU DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHILDREN, YOU NEVER HAD AND NEVER WiLL

NEVER EVER atempt t o curse/ aRRANGE PPL TO BEAT UP YOUR HUSBAND IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LONG. HE IS NOW YOUR father and HEAD over you, SPIRITUALLY, SEXUALLY and he's ranked in sprtual heirachy far above YOUR PASTOR. IF YOU HAD GIVEN HIM THE RESPECT YOU ARE WRONGLY GIVING TO YOUR PASTOR, YOUR HOME WiLL HAVE BEEN PARADISE .

That You did not start a business even if not a job is entirely your fault. And sorry to tell you, your parents won't want you back and no man will ever take you more seriously than a mistress no matter how pretty you are. You have no skills and your degree Became worthless after keeping it for 5 years after leaving school( no experience)

If you leave, your kids will still have half bros/sis and if you don't bring them up ALL up with love, they WILL forever hate themselve and wreck the family. You as the first wife must ensure it never happens.

It is possible for you all to be happy.

Finally I know of some families succesful at polygamy, a friend told me recently that while growing up, she never understood why all her friends had one mother while she had two. She only knows the mum who bathes her is different from d one that feeds her as a child. She didn't know who was her real mum until well past puberty. YOU CAN DO IT !

This is what I term reality my dear. Polygamy is just like monogamy, forget nollywood. The 'feminists' on Nl won't tell her this. All they care about is +1.

aisha2:
I can bet my left breas-t that the poster is a man. With all the "women learn from my mistakes" each post concentrating more on learn lessons women than the actual issue is a dead give away.

Good luck to all of the commentors wey reach 10 page, thank you Jesus for spirit of discernment. Next

Lol!

Kudos to you! Someone half as emotionally distraught as the poster's made out to be wouldn't compose so long a letter.

Neither will he / her / shim place sooooo much effort towards making it painstakingly legible.

Beautiful scripting though. Parts 1 and 2 got me hooked. I'll conceed that much.

soonest:
Feminism! Feminism!! Feminism!!!. The mere thought of this gives some people stroke.
When a woman has a say-feminism
When a woman has self worth- feminism
When a woman refuses to be subservient- feminism
Every opinion must be to boost and stroke the ego of men.
Well, i'm sorry to announce that feminism or whatever you call it has come to stay. If you don't like it, start with your family,subdue all the females there. If that doesn't work,you may need to hug transformer

no feminism never brough about women having self worth, fact! It never brought about women having a say, fact! If it brings about non sbservience in women, then you really think its is a good thing? We can argue this. And no, feminists are actually more concerned about the male ego than men are about their own ego. I am not saying that some men are not against feminism for the wrong reasons. You people like attacking the male ego but what do you say we men should do about the female ego? You people have ego but you never see us attack it.

And as for the statement: "feminism is here to stay", i would like you to substitute feminism for Islamic Jihad and lets see how you sound.

craziebone:


i am well aware of their hate for religion as a whole. But "Feminism and Reigion" is a topic for another day.

I consider my write ups simple, logical and unapologetic. All my write ups are satire, explaining reality with riddles. It may surprise you that reality conflicts with my moniker. I explain my views through my moniker, stressing my views through using misogyny in clear terms, urging all through my signature to understand my views, neglecting the pattern I have used in writing them. Try it now, neglecting misogyny or at best view it as a litrary method, then you will understand what I was trying to pass across.

EfemenaXY:


Lol!

Kudos to you! Someone half as emotionally distraught as the poster's made out to be wouldn't compose so long a letter.

Neither will he / her / shim place sooooo much effort towards making it painstakingly legible.

Beautiful scripting though. Parts 1 and 2 got me hooked. I'll conceed that much.

this is absolutely untrue. While i maintain that the person could be male or female, it is an established fact that women have superior verbal fluency and could articulate better than men. It is often said that the fatest typist is an angry woman. This is supported by some science. So no, from our experience we know that the best articulator, if there is any word as such, is an extreemly emotional woman. You guys always site this as you superiority over us. Why are you making a u-turn now?

craziebone:


this is absolutely untrue. While i maintain that the person could be male or female, it is an established fact that women have superior verbal fluency and could articulate better than men. It is often said that the fatest typist is an angry woman. This is supported by some science. So no, from our experience we know that the best articulator, if there is any word as such, is an extreemly emotional woman. You guys always site this as you superiority over us. Why are you making a u-turn now?

Because the story just isn't true.

A woman supposedly crushed by her husband deciding to take in a new wife wouldn't come on to nairaland of all places to over emphasise on her lessons "learnt" - especially on his wedding day. She should be curled up in a corner crying her eyes out while close friends and family comfort her.

Not her/him/shim profusely sweating it out on here giving out free lessons. By the way, whose looking after her kids while she's on here...scripting?

mafioso47:
please add me on 29B*****. Send my Shout out to ur boo *smiles* *wink*

I'll do just that...

Wait o, it is a deep insecurity that causes a man to almost pop a vein because a woman has a differing opinion. GUY, so if someone does not agree with you that person is a man hater? Has a "feminist" hurt you? Ah ah, calm your horses. Feminism is not your issue my brother, something else is. Please seek that thing out.

Talking about "you must answer them so they do not have monopoly over the airwaves". In present day Nigeria when we are dealing with unemployment, bombings and lack of electricity, your main gripe is women with an opinion different from yours? Not everyone will agree with you in this life. Not every woman will fit what you feel is the prototype of a woman. Please this crusade to silence "feminists" has you looking very somehow. Feminism to you is on the same level as a jihadist movement? Wait...what?

You also say "Some feminists desperately wish that women are constantly oppressed so that they (some feminists) stay relevant"...haba guy...seriously, seriously you wrote that with a straight face and conviction?

I am unfollowing this thread biko, I just hope you take a chill pill. It is not that serious.

aisha2:
I can bet my left breas-t that the poster is a man. With all the "women learn from my mistakes" each post concentrating more on learn lessons women than the actual issue is a dead give away.

Good luck to all of the commentors wey reach 10 page, thank you Jesus for spirit of discernment. Next

I said it na. welli done to people who had time to type epistles. The way the story was narrated in form of lessons and showering of praises to the husband would not be the true state of mind of a woman who is truly hurt by her husband marrying another wife. Such a woman will be too hurt and speechless to give lessons. To top it all, the account was just created with this post as the only one. This story is as fictional as nollywood.

I can even tell una who started this fake thread but you have to bribe me first. Hahahahahaaa see screaming on top matter oya nairaland women all ye Feminist EfemenaXY, Cococandy come and learn " lesson " by fire by force
After posting fake story we have to re emphasise the " lesson" for all ye sturborn feminist by fire by force hehehehehe

aisha2:
I can even tell una who started this fake thread but you have to bribe me first. Hahahahahaaa see screaming on top matter oya nairaland women all ye Feminist EfemenaXY, Cococandy come and learn " lesson " by fire by force
After posting fake story we have to re emphasise the " lesson" for all ye sturborn feminist by fire by force hehehehehe

How much do you want?

carefreewannabe:

How much do you want?

One year supply of frozen yogurt

aisha2:
I can even tell una who started this fake thread but you have to bribe me firs.t Hahahahahaaa see screaming on top matter oya nairaland women all ye Feminist EfemenaXY, Cococandy come and learn " lesson " by fire by force
After posting fake story we have to re emphasise the " lesson" for all ye sturborn feminist by fire by force hehehehehe

That can be arranged na.

So what currency would you like? £££? $$$? Euro?? Or NGN?

aisha2:


One year supply of frozen yogurt

Ok, I will import it from Russia, the Ruble is currently very cheap and the country very cold.

Deal?

jumbotron:
Wait o, it is a deep insecurity that causes a man to almost pop a vein because a woman has a differing opinion. GUY, so if someone does not agree with you that person is a man hater? Has a "feminist" hurt you? Ah ah, calm your horses. Feminism is not your issue my brother, something else is. Please seek that thing out.

Talking about "you must answer them so they do not have monopoly over the airwaves". In present day Nigeria when we are dealing with unemployment, bombings and lack of electricity, your main gripe is women with an opinion different from yours? Not everyone will agree with you in this life. Not every woman will fit what you feel is the prototype of a woman. Please this crusade to silence "feminists" has you looking very somehow. Feminism to you is on the same level as a jihadist movement? Wait...what?

You also say "Some feminists desperately wish that women are constantly oppressed so that they (some feminists) stay relevant"...haba guy...seriously, seriously you wrote that with a straight face and conviction?

I am unfollowing this thread biko, I just hope you take a chill pill. It is not that serious.

no one is a man hater by disagreeing with me. But the man hater becomes very identifyable when he/she is deliberately missing the point and desperately disingenous.

Yea, some feminists(or should i call them misandrists) have hurt people and are still hurting them. Did you see the way that man was harrassed on TV when he was being interviewd on his milestone for puting a ship on a comet? Have you seen how they want to indoctrinate men that they do not have rights to children because in the words of the writer of "Everywoman", bond CAN also develop between a father and child IF HE PLAYS HIS ROLE? By that, she implied that if bond exists between a father and child, then it isn't because it is natural but that he "played his role". It also suggests that men have not been playing their roles.

As for the "we have all the problems in Nigeria", my dear, i still have time for other things too. Majority of my time on NL is not spent discussing family issues as the family section is not my most visited. You can come to the foreign affairs if you want to see me. I came in here because i saw this topic on the front page.

I am not on a crusade to stop feminism. I only said we can't give them MONOPOLY of the airwave. This means they also have to talk. But we shouldn't allow them to be the only ones speaking and i stated my reason for it.

Lastly, it seems you decided to just ignore the emoticons i put after i said that. I was only being sarcastic. Feminism and islamic jihad ARE NOT THE SAME, gat it? I only decided to play a little bit.

carefreewannabe:

Ok, I will import it from Russia, the Ruble is currently very cheap and the country very cold.
Deal?

Make I see my loot first but the answer is clear nah
Who is writing sorry screaming all over on why you need to sorry must learn from this drama the most?

watching them console each other, hmmm.

I have to go now. I think those who will be swerved will be swerved and those who won't, won't. But i think we have put on here enough of an opposing view to the excesses of feminism which is not too far, if not the same as misandry, so as to dilute the effect of hate.

Feminism is beautiful but when it forces women to see themselves as victims when they don't see themselves as such; for some feminists here on NL to force the op to think her decision to stay in polygamy is bad even when the lady wants to stay, makes me ask if feminism the type these women practice is about women's freedom to make their choices.

Lmao see vexing hehehee the " lesson " was refused to be " learned " sorry, sanu ndo, yi hakuri pele. Better luck next time, for future stories focus more on whinning and emotions than try to teach others
Women in the heat of their pain are usually not this calculative and rational to the extent of ignoring their own pain and focusing on teaching others lessons. Dead give away.

craziebone:



And as for the statement: "feminism is here to stay", i would like you to substitute feminism for Islamic Jihad and lets see how you sound.

aisha2:


Make I see my loot first but the answer is clear nah
Who is writing sorry screaming all over on why you need to sorry must learn from this drama the most?

soonest:

funny too ba? Hehehe.

I think i have to go on my knees and ask you to give me the privilege of being your lover. :*:*:*

hatelove:

To all the single ladies and even married you can learn from my experience.

Im not a script writer neither im i a story teller im writing my experience first hand

10 years back even in my wildest imagination i wont come up with such a thing.
Ive been very regular on nairaland my friend introduced the sight to me when i was in uni. i spend almost all my free time here

Hubby is not responsible for my family and everyone in my family is grown up already im the second to last

I married hubby when i was 19 years old then i just gained admission, im 29 years old currently
Hubby mum n dad are late and my mum used to be her mum best friend so when he wanted to get married his family taught i wont be a bad idea and mum also said its okay if marry him seeing how close he was to the family.

My brother and my dad never liked the idea of polygamy for me but they said they cant choose for my husband.
My brother and my dad are the only people in my family aware of his decision
My brother said i have been away from my kids for 3 months plus and my life was becoming miserable by the day because i was complaining of how i wanted to be with them.
His decision for him to keep it away from me was only tempory and he cant fight my husband over his decision he can only support my decision so anything i come up with he will give me his 100% support.
MY dad said he had personally discuss with my husband and he doesnt have bad intention for me and our kids that he doesnt like polygamy because of the stress and all that but he doesnt see polygamy as bad.
WELL their explaination goes on and some sound logical

IF i sound like im supporting the new wife is because i want to give myself reason to be happy and i dont want to involve myself with any emotional thinking anymore because even my dad said i was too emotional and always taking things seriously but he never knew i will learn the hard way.

Ive promise myself to always make logical decision

Ive discovered that i can only make myself happy because just as im hurt hubby is happy and preparing for his day today
Im not going anywhere at least for now i want the new wife to come in and meet me so she can share her husband from the beginning of their marriage, i will not give her the joy of having a man all to herself and probably raise my kids since she has decided to share let her come and share with me though hubby has provided a seperate accomodation for her and he said after their honeymoon is 3 days per wife, i will see how it will turn out to be if the enviroment becomes too hostile for me then i use the exit.

I dont have much to say anymore, ive decided to do more of my reasoning logically.
MY HUSBAND has choosen his path.

PERTAINING TO JOB i will start applying for job at least to get something doing.
My husband fixed me on a salary before but i dont know if it will stop or reduce since we are about becoming wives.

I dont regret marrying early whether arranged or not is one of the things i thank God for everyday, my womb is presently covered with fibriod so medically i cant give birth to anymore children.
I got diagnose of fibriod when i was pregnant with my first child, the doctor initially taught it was twins until my baby grew to some certain level then we realise the other one isnt a baby, doc advised me to continue giving birth since it didnt affect my fertily after my 3rd child it had my womb covered then i had an operation but unfortunately it started growing again but im at peace since i already had 3 lovely kids i decided to take a break from stressing myself out because of it.

Yes i cant deny the fact that i took advantage of my husbands quietness
He is not bossy
He was also very patient with me, he had been patient with me when i was much younger he used to tell me that he will cut me some slack because of my age and he is ready to wait for me
when i was 28 with same alttitude we got seperated by then ive learnt my lesson but little did i know that i have already lost my husband.

Im taking responsibility so people can learn from me, i dont need to hide anything anymore
A man that told me if he courted me he wouldnt have gotten married to me.

AS THE SAYING GOES TWO WRONG DONT MAKE A RIGHT

ALL THE SAME I NEVER KNEW IT WOULD GeT TO THIS POINT, deep down in my
soul im tired of life, im weak and unhappy, no appetite, the only thing that really kept me going is NAIRALAND and my kids, thanks to you guys, you are indeed a family, thank you all.

Today is my husbands day and a new phase in my life, though i owe myself the duty to be happy im not happy

I PRAY FOR GODS STRENGHT IN MY LIFE AND MAY HE GIVE ME WISDOM JUST LIKE SOLOMON TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATON.

THANK YOU ALL, YOU ARE INDEED NAIRALAND FAMILY.

OP, God bless you for your decision to stay however you shouldn't see it as a battle between you two women. Welcome her, genuinely love her and be an take her as a kid sister or even a twin and watch your family turn to a mini heaven on earth.

The likes of @Jumbotron, I chose not to respond because its alright to have your own opinions about what you think the world and the marriage institution ought to be. My advice is for the OP on the realities of life.

Some people here have said you OP maybe a man, maybe a fictional story but incase it is real. Take good advice and stay in your marriage! And do your part. Congratulations on your new wife (yes she is also your wife as well as your husbands) and happy married life

Lol... Now 'we' have learnt the lesson.... Please keep this thread alive...

I need updates biko...

How is the wedding going?

Must have started by now.... Right?

LaRoyalHighness:
Lol... Now 'we' have learnt the lesson.... Please keep this thread alive...

I need updates biko...

How is the wedding going?

Must have started by now.... Right?

good you have learnt.

Wish you Peace profound, soror LaRoyalHighness!!!

Lol... Peace Profound.

craziebone:


good you have learnt.

Wish you Peace profound, soror LaRoyalHighness!!!

LaRoyalHighness:
Lol... Peace Profound.

so which lodge do you frequent?

How is the wedding going op.....I need updates too.

craziebone:

good you have learnt.
Wish you Peace profound, soror LaRoyalHighness!!!

Ha ah bros what are you still doing here? I thought you said you had gone to attend the wedding hehehe

[quote author=craziebone post=29046680]I have to go now. I /quote]

Craziebone's the estranged first wife?

aisha2:
I can even tell una who started this fake thread but you have to bribe me first. Hahahahahaaa see screaming on top matter oya nairaland women all ye Feminist EfemenaXY, Cococandy come and learn " lesson " by fire by force
After posting fake story we have to re emphasise the " lesson" for all ye sturborn feminist by fire by force hehehehehe

I've been wondering too how someone who should be more concerned about getting her kids out of the claws of impending servitude at hands of a coming stepmother would be more preoccupied with teaching us lessons And insisting it is her fault while subtly praising her husband's patience with her all these years for the heinous crime of going through his phone and calling him out on his womanizing.
She obviously loves us too much.

Sounds like one them little nairaland boys' fantasy

I'm suspecting U @ craziebone