I always wonder how some people fall out of one relationship into another while others struggle to find a man/woman to call their own
The 'lucky' ones find it very easy to meet new partners and hardly ever have space between relationships. They manage to never stay single for long : a month or two passes and… poof! – they’re in a new relationship.

The 'unlucky' ones take longer to find somebody new – maybe a year, or even a few years. They just can't find people to be happy with
They kind of have certain expectations for their mates and since most people they meet don't fit the bill, they pass them up

My questions are;
1) Are people who seek perfection in a potential partner on a futile quest that has no ending?
Are they hardly in a relationship because they have a loooong "laundry list" of what they want and don't want in a man/woman?

2) What’s your average period between serious relationships?

Zeemoor:
I always wonder how some people fall out of one relationship into another while others struggle to find a man/woman to call their own
The 'lucky' ones find it very easy to meet new partners and hardly ever have space between relationships. They manage to never stay single for long : a month or two passes and… poof! – they’re in a new relationship.

The 'unlucky' ones take longer to find somebody new – maybe a year, or even a few years. They just can't find people to be happy with
They kind of have certain expectations for their mates and since most people they meet don't fit the bill, they pass them up

My questions are;
1) Are people who seek perfection in a potential partner on a futile quest that has no ending?
Are they hardly in a relationship because they have a loooong "laundry list" of what they want and don't want in a man/woman?

2) What’s your average period between serious relationships?

chimerase2:
free period

1one:
Zeemore


Very nice thread


Well articulated.

Zeemoor:
Trolls aren't welcome here

chimerase2:
trolls?
What do u understand by the word troll

It means you should allow matured mind and experienced people talk

herald9:


It means you should allow matured mind and experienced people talk

Zeemoor:
Thanks

So, what's your ideal gap between relationships, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years?

1one:


Personally I don't have an ideal gap between relationships, the last time I was in anything remotely close to a relationship was 5years ago.. So for me, there's no "ideal gap" as it were.

I think the question of how long one should stay before the next relationship, should be a function and question of how emotionally, financially, spiritually and otherwise stable one is at that particular point in time in their lives, it should have little or nothing at all to do with numberics.

However the case is, whether 2days, 2months, 2years or 20years...it is important that one goes into a relationship for the right reasons, my personal submission is don't go into a relationship to look for happiness, instead go into a relationship because you want to share the happiness you've already found with someone special..someone you deem fit to share with.

I couldn't agree more

1one:
MizMyColi


I would reaaaaaally want to hear your opinion on this

Oukei


I'm here now, reading........

herald9:


It means you should allow matured mind and experienced people talk

Having a looong laundry list is not the ish, neither is having a short one. Anything is possible. Personally, I have observed that for people who are termed as being too far reaching or high handed --- it's just a single trait or two that they look out for in a partner, if its not there, forget it!

1one:
@MizMyColi


Abeg why are you so intelligent like this

As long as your reply was, I was still checking under my table for more... Incase maybe I missed out somethings.... It's always always intellectually refreshing to read your posts/comments et al


This is so so true.

MizMyColi:
@1one
@All

Here's my take.

1). First off, a person who seeks a serious relationship and is opportune to meet different wannabe partners must apply some level of self discipline. If I'm in a relationship today and I break up for some reason, I enter into another and I break up the the same or almost the same reason, and then I enter another which packs up for almost the same reason (within 6 months) --- I will stop and tell myself the hard truth.
I have gotten a whole lot of things misconstrued.
I have no clear definition what I want in a Man.
There are character traits about me that I need to work on.

Personally, I recommend a minimum of four months before going into another relationship. Let this be a time when we learn, when we reflect on past mistakes and then work at making ourselves better, while gearing ourselves up for our next attempt at loving.

I for one, I have certain expectations. I believe that my expectations will not be cut off. Talking of seeking for perfection, let's face it, no one is perfect, no one.
For me, during this phase of my life, I'm learning what it means to love people despite their imperfections, to embrace people, I'm learning to define what I want, I'm learning more about my weaknesses and strengths too. I am learning how to see myself and actually live the life of a person who is full of value and worth. Trust me, I am learning.

There is a right time and season for everything under the sun.

What matters really is what we do during our waiting periods, because it'll definitely tell when the Time comes.

Having a looong laundry list is not the ish, neither is having a short one. Anything is possible. Personally, I have observed that for people who are termed as being too far reaching or high handed --- it's just a single trait or two that they look out for in a partner, if its not there, forget it!

In matters like this, I maintain that wisdom remains profitable to direct. In terms of physical attributes and tangibles....... I really do not have set expectations......but when it comes to values and the intangibles, because that is what matters most to me as a person, I'm willing to wait, and keep on with self-development while at it.

I cannot marry a person who is insensitive, who isn't open,who isn't sincere (manipulative), who has trust issues and isn't trustworthy either. If this puts me among those with loooong laundry lists, thanks, I'm fine there.

I believe, I've answered the questions, albeit scantily

MizMyColi:


Having a looong laundry list is not the ish, neither is having a short one.

I cannot marry a person who is insensitive, who isn't open,who isn't sincere (manipulative), who has trust issues and isn't trustworthy either. If this puts me among those with loooong laundry lists, thanks, I'm fine there.

jplay:


so many people on dis site try too hard to act so smart! lmaooo

Oahray:
But then, probably I'm the one assuming wrongly that you mean 'serious relationships'.

2) I do not have a wealth of past relationships to fall back on, so your 'average time' is a bit scary, .

time to pick out the next person and plan my strategy while observing her from a comfy distance till I'm sure she's the one... Till it's time to move in for the kill.

For me, 6 months is not even enough.

gsalvatore:
No particular time frame.

I just kinda flow with the current till I find/meet some one her bullshit is like cake to me. Am very choosy (that's a weakness I have).

Then I kill myself over her.

damselabi:
Doesn't require a specific period of time, Matters of the heart don't come wit a time span.But most of the tym its beta to at least rest for like 6mths.