coogar:


that's the problem with nigerian marriages - the parents always feel like the boss. i have heard cases of FILs/MILs feeling entitled to name the grandkids. can you freaking imagine? a FIL would challenge me cos he feels he should name my own kids?

that will be the day......

Nonso23:


It's no wonder you turned out the way you are. I mean how can mad people train a reasonable human
People in my kindred don't listen to mentally deficient women.

coogar:


odin forbid!
that task is your forte. patronising the weaker sėx to get your napë rubbed is the main objective of any skët-saving captain.

you remind me of a folklore i heard about years ago. there was this dude(i was told) on this forum with your attitude. he would defend the womenfolk to the hilt. he even confessed to having washed undies of his partners in the past & reh reh reh.

few weeks after his self-confession, about a dozen chics bombarded his email begging him to have their babies. some of the dozen chics included married women & a 44-year-old tpia. as far as the dude was concerned, it was mission accomplished.

few months later, same chics came on NL to cry how they have been scammed by the dude. half of them withdrew their students loans & personal savings to consolidate their union with this dude. in the end, they got burnt with multiple gnashing of the teeth.

the brainless bimbos consigning your comments & copping clïtoral erectiöns with your comments don't deserve my pity. don't get me wrong - i ain't saying you are a scammer & even if you are one, it's not my intention to knock your hustle. the whimsical coogar just wonders if history will repeat itself......scratch that, the cynical coogar wants history to repeat itself.

Rxpetite:
if the man had a good relationship with the father-in-law, i don't think he would have reacted that way (assuming the man in question is reasonable.)

Problems like this don't pop out of nowhere.
There's probably some bad history here. its possible the father did not approve of the man from the beginning or has a history of meddling in their family affairs

Matthewbriggs:



Oh he is now a mummies boy for accepting a gift from his mother, He is now a mummies boy for accepting a nice delicious meal from his mother who loves him, gave birth to him and has been there from him since he was born. As opposed to un-healthy meal from his wife.

Are you not sure it is not the woman who is insecure, What is wrong with the woman, Does she want her husband to suffer and continue staying malnourished. What is wrong with a mans mother preparing a nice meal for her son and giving it to him as a gift. Shouldn't she be happy the mother is providing for her husband good food which she cannot cook. Why are you resorting to calling the man a mummies boy for eating a better food from his mother since his wife has been feeding him thrash.

This is me turn the tables to show you exactly how you guys sound as you go on bloating on how insecure the man is. Without trying to ask the op for more context surrounding the man's actions.

I would repeat this again hopefully the smart ones among you who do not salivate at the opportunity to bash men would take note.

CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING PEOPLE.

In my own example I made with the mother inlaw I provided you context that resulted to his action, the woman would be right to be mad with her MIL. She would be right to be mad with her husband for not seeing how her mother inlaw ploy to undermine her effort.

What I have always tried to make you all understand it this ...

No sane man ... I know would feel slighted if his father inlaw decides to shower his daughter with gifts. Buy her a car, build her a house or buy her a freaking island. No sane man in his right mind would feel bad. Infact he would be very grateful to his father inlaw for his kind gesture and proceed to enjoy it with his wife ... because what ever belongs to his wife belongs to him and vice versa. Who no like better thing.

A sane man would only freak out if this action is carried out with an ulterior motive,

1. As a ploy to undermine his role as the head of the family.
2. As a ploy to clandestinely remind him of his in ability to carry out his responsibility.
3. If he feel his father in-law has a habit or history of interfering in the way he runs his family.

It's not about given someone a gift, what matters the most which we are neglecting is the role the motive behind a gift, and the way it is given, go a long way in deciding how a gift is accepted.

So for me the main bone of contention is not whether the man is right or wrong, or insecure or secure, wicked or kind.

My main bone of contention is fact that majority of people on this thread are running to a conclusion crying blue murder and straight up accusing the man of been egotistic, and crucifying him on the alter of Men vs Women.

Instead of focusing their energy to seek to understand the context of his action and [b]probing the Op to get further get more details on why he acted the way he did. On getting more details can we go on to come to a conclusion. [ /b] whether he is wrong or not. the focus should be to decipher What it is the OP is not telling us.

I expected this thread conversation to flow in this line.

@Op
What is the relationship so far between the Man and his FIL been like in the past.

Does the father inlaw have a habit of interfering into his daughters marriage in the past.

How was the gift presented to the family in what vibe. Is it under the tone of "Mr man why are you allowing my daughter to suffer like this, this is not how she was raised, since you can't provide her a car my angel go into the garage and pick one car."
Or like. My son, I see you both are having issues with your old car I would like to gift my wife one of my cars to aid your situation for the time been till you both get back on your feet.

No sane man would be stupid enough to reject the car gift in the later tone.

I repeat Context is every thing ... before passing judgment and ranting about how men are insecure and egotistic seek context .

Because one thing I know as a man is that yes we may be egotistic but at the same time we would not turn down a car from our father in-law that would help alleviate the pain our family is going through if that said car is presented with the right motive and context.

If you can still read this piece and still do not understand the angle I am coming from ... It is well.


# MathewBriggs

thandii1:



You are a self-respecting individual. Even in the face of provocation and taunting, you have acted with utmost decorum. May God continue to bless and keep your home.


@topic. My dad bought the car my sister is using presently. She had issues with her former car and my dad bought her a new one. My BIL drives that car whenever his car is faulty. My dad did not buy it because my BIL and sister could not afford it, he did because he loves the family so much and just felt like easing the 'burden' so that they could channel the money into something else and my BIL appreciated it. My sister's inlaws also bought the most expensive items on her baby's list even though she could afford it. These gifts havent stripped any of them of their self esteem because they understand what family is.

I just laugh at the comments made by the boys in here. Majority of them are neither made nor married, so it's understandable. Hopefully, the energy channelled into online gender war and ego checking is being used in their offline lives to become self respecting ,successful grown men.

SAMBARRY:
Ok so how do you know he has ulterior motives and he's trying to undermine his manliness? Your ego told you so right?

The main bone of contention is not whether the man is right or wrong, or insecure or secure, wicked or kind.

My main bone of contention is fact that majority of people on this thread are running to a conclusion crying blue murder and straight up accusing the man of been egotistic, and crucifying him on the alter of Men vs Women.

Instead of focusing their energy to seek to understand the context of his action and [b]probing the Op to get further get more details on why he acted the way he did. On getting more details can we go on to come to a conclusion. [ /b] whether he is wrong or not. the focus should be to decipher What it is the OP is not telling us.

I expected this thread conversation to flow in this line.

@Op
What is the relationship so far between the Man and his FIL been like in the past.

Does the father inlaw have a habit of interfering into his daughters marriage in the past.

How was the gift presented to the family in what vibe. Is it under the tone of "Mr man why are you allowing my daughter to suffer like this, this is not how she was raised, since you can't provide her a car my angel go into the garage and pick one car."
Or like. My son, I see you both are having issues with your old car I would like to gift my wife one of my cars to aid your situation for the time been till you both get back on your feet.

No sane man would be stupid enough to reject the car gift in the later tone.

I repeat Context is every thing ... before passing judgment and ranting about how men are insecure and egotistic seek context .

Because one thing I know as a man is that yes we may be egotistic but at the same time we would not turn down a car from our father in-law that would help alleviate the pain our family is going through if that said car is presented with the right motive and context.

If you can still read this piece and still do not understand the angle I am coming from ... It is well.


# MathewBriggs

Mondisweets:
None of them can be like my son ochon... Husband material too badt

Teespice:


will you marry me?

*puppy face*

crackhaus:
I fvcking hate it when a woman presumes to advise men on how they should act, it's really annoying...

What do you lot know about being a man or how he should act/think? Absolutely nothing!

Specialist900:
Maybe it's how to call the FIL saying "I saw the car you sent to my wife, Thank you" that is the husbands problem

LordReed:


Mangina because I want to give my own daughter a gift? LoL! When you become a father look at your daughter's face and tell yourself you will seek permission from her future husband before you give her a gift, lemme see how much of a misogynist you can be looking at your own baby girl.

ochon:






@Nonso23, no mind me. I'm just kidding on the siggy stuff.


This section's threads have denigrated to:

Men vs Women arguments
Male Vs Female bashing.
Feminists vs non-Feminists E-fights.


There's obviously a breeding anger between some people, and hence they end up making every sensible/insensible thread about women vs men. This section is a ghost of its glorious past.

Matthewbriggs:


where did I state he has ulterior motive. What has my ego got to do in this context.

Looks like you did not read what you quoted. Leme re quote a section of it that answers your question. This time do read it in slow motion.

The answer to your question is in the first 3 paragraphs.

V0lv0:
I have heard a lot of things but this by far takes the cake. How can you compare apples to meat? Did her father being her a new husband? If that was the case then obviously it would be a big issue but it's not that but a car. I really don't see what the big deal is if the father bought his daughter a car to help her out of the difficulty they are facing. Real men don't get bothered by trivial things like this. If it was a male friend that bought her a car then that would be wrong but her own father

If the guys father/mom bought him the car he would not accept it? Would his parents first consult his wife first? Or will he not accept it because of his wife ego issues with his mom? That's stupidity at its highest order.

Compare apples to apples and not apples to meat. How can you compare bringing another wife home/husband to a car? Seriously

Sophyrocks:




Everything to this set of males is about panty sniffing. No intellectually stimulating thought. Just panty sniffing. Any man who disagrees with them is a panty sniffer. Tells you how messed up and perverse they are psychologically. They say these things as a means of consolation for their messed up personalities. The thought that another male is more superior in IQ, more human/compassionate in character, more secure in his manhood than they are, crushes their Ego. Its plain insecurity. Ego is everything to them. Dnt be surprised they have substances they snuff into their noses before logging on to nairaland. So how else do they console themselves than to tag you a panty snifer.

coogar few weeks after his self-confession, about a dozen chics bombarded his email begging him to have their babies. some of the dozen chics included married women & a 44-year-old tpia. as far as the dude was concerned, it was mission accomplished.

thandii1:


You just described majority of the male posters in here. Including yourself.

SAMBARRY:
You said so jare. Hayiiinn



there was no way fil will have presented the car in a contemptuous manner or to spite the man . in security must have been worrying him and as per the relationship that exists between him and his fil.dont give me that line. Go and sell it to tonto dike

bukatyne:


So because LordReed is not on your side of the divide, he is making a mockery of hinself?

And who made your side the right one?

And you are complaining of other posters

It is okay

Matthewbriggs:



Pls answer this questions

@ bolded what information made your to arrive to such conclusion.

@bolded are you trying to say FIL are so perfect and can do not wrong.

How much do you know about the mans relationship between the man FIL before the car gift. That made you arrive to a conclusion that he is insecure.

Do you belive a gift can be rejected if not given with the right intention/context.

Answer these questions directly.

SAMBARRY:
Number 1.because he's his daughter's husband so he has to treat him right if not it can affect his daughters relationship .He's an elderly man so he knows

SAMBARRY:
2.nobody is perfect. Only God is perfect. Every person has his flaws but ability to manage the flaws is what makes fil and son in law worth it

3.

V0lv0:
[s]I have heard a lot of things but this by far takes the cake. How can you compare apples to meat? Did her father being her a new husband? If that was the case then obviously it would be a big issue but it's not that but a car. I really don't see what the big deal is if the father bought his daughter a car to help her out of the difficulty they are facing. Real men don't get bothered by trivial things like this. If it was a male friend that bought her a car then that would be wrong but her own father

If the guys father/mom bought him the car he would not accept it? Would his parents first consult his wife first? Or will he not accept it because of his wife ego issues with his mom? That's stupidity at its highest order.

Compare apples to apples and not apples to meat. How can you compare bringing another wife home/husband to a car? Seriously[/s]

SAMBARRY:
3. Only an insecure man can reject a gift offered in good fate and he should even see that as an opportunity to redeem his relationship with fil if he's wise. Who knows maybe the fil used the car to repair their broken relationship

Nonso23:

Throwing insults is a two way street.
I have absolutely no problem with that.
As long as they can endure as much and more than they can dish out. It's fair game.

ileobatojo:


Hopefully, the mods will one day wake up from their coma and address this.