The world we live in is kind of interesting as well as annoying. Its kind of funny how people think they know and understand when in truth, they don't . Things happen and a lot of people just come to wrong and biased conclusions fueled by belief systems built upon religion and culture.
A young boy of 5years deriving joy from seeing a lady get stabbed to death in a movie seems odd doesn't it. I didn't understand why I felt that way then. It was just the same feeling I felt when my dad bought me a new game console or when I came first in my class.
That quiet cute kid in primary five who was shy to talk in public and to his classmates and yet could answer almost all questions in Ugo C Ugo.
Growing up was a bit awkward because I was always asking myself lot of questions. Questions like why don't I have many friends like my siblings?, why do I hate parties?, why am i shy to talk to girls?, why do I feel uncomfortable in social environments? Anyway I grew up in a average christian family. Forced to go to church, attend mid-week services, read the bible and so on. I had a strict father who would not spare the rod and emotionally abusive words if I erred.
My parents normally always quarreled and had fights which often made me sad and cry. I blamed everything on my dad.
As I approached puberty my weird fetish kind of found its way into my sexual construction.
As a teenage I was a bit more outgoing and more talkative but I was still shy in social situations. I remember one time in jss1, we were watching a school drama where a girl who was poisoned fell down and died, just by seeing her die I had an erection immediately. I was surprised at this but didn't let it bother me. I consequently discovered that I had erections whenever I saw a lady die in any movie whether foreign or Nigerian. Funny enough due to the pleasant sexual feeling I experienced I started watching such movies where I knew a lady would die and I watched them over and over. The older I grew the more I wanted more, I didn't just want more, I wanted it to be better.
I watched porn once and I almost puked. It looked so irritating to me. The idea of sex alone doesn't interest me at all. Up till now I have never had sex, I don't know if its because I am not interested in it or because I don't have a girl friend. I have had female friends but never had anyone so close I would call my girlfriend.
When I turned 17 around the time I finished secondary school, my sexual orientation took another dimension. I started fantasizing about me killing a female. I couldn't get an arousal except it involved the actual thought of killing normally by strangling. Its something I just can't explain.
Thanks to the internet and my above average mind I found lot of sites that had the kind of videos I wanted. I downloaded most of them of had pleasurable experiences. The older I grow the worse it becomes. Whenever I see a beautiful girl those thoughts of killing flood my mind and wipe away any sort of religious and moral sanity. The thought of my hands round her neck and her struggling for breath as life fades from her eyes as I watch her finally give up as her eyes stare blankly is second to non. This has become a huge part of my psychology and I think it can only get worse. I have also become cold as in lacking some normal feelings such as love,pity and guilt
I posted this here on nairaland because I express my feelings better in writing and since I haven't told anyone yet about my little secret I just felt I should share it.
Do I need help?

No my brother! U need Otapiapia!!

You have a very serious problem, seek professional help, please!

Maybe it's not your fault that you feel the way you feel but your fantasies must remain your fantasies and never become reality!

Before you kill someone, kill yourself. That is just in case you feel you have no control over it anymore. But I strongly recommend that you get professional help ASAP.

Yaba left material.

You need help, asap.
let me un-follow thread.

Is this your story actually for REAL or your writing a book

If this is real,I hope you don't have sisters oo before you start practical work on them..
Please open up to an elderly MALE person so you can get help.

A Male person not FEMALE o,so you don't strangle her. And please stay out of the reach of FEMALES till you get help.

May God help you.

taryour:
Is this your story actually for REAL or your writing a book

If this is real,I hope you don't have sisters oo before you start practical work on them..
Please open up to an elderly MALE person so you can get help.

A Male person not FEMALE o,so you don't strangle her. And please stay out of the reach of FEMALES till you get help.

May God help you.

Why don't you drop your address and I will pay you a visit so we can talk face to face and you will know if its real or not

Okay I think you don't just have a psychological problem, but a mental one
Get help dude

sadguy:

Why don't you drop your address and I will pay you a visit so we can talk face to face and you will know if its real or not

Lol. Oniranu oshi, for your mind. Now I see you just want attention. Grow up!!!

taryour:


Lol. Oniranu oshi, for your mind. Now I see you just want attention. Grow up!!!

You think this is a joke right

Stop playing with serious stuff. This is not a good joke.

Stop watching pornography and get yourself busy meaningful.

deeptesting:
Stop watching pornography and get yourself busy meaningful.

In case you didn't know I am currently in my 4th year in the university studying a professional medical course

sadguy:
The world we live in is kind of interesting as well as annoying. Its kind of funny how people think they know and understand when in truth, they don't . Things happen and a lot of people just come to wrong and biased conclusions fueled by belief systems built upon religion and culture.
A young boy of 5years deriving joy from seeing a lady get stabbed to death in a movie seems odd doesn't it. I didn't understand why I felt that way then. It was just the same feeling I felt when my dad bought me a new game console or when I came first in my class.
That quiet cute kid in primary five who was shy to talk in public and to his classmates and yet could answer almost all questions in Ugo C Ugo.
Growing up was a bit awkward because I was always asking myself lot of questions. Questions like why don't I have many friends like my siblings?, why do I hate parties?, why am i shy to talk to girls?, why do I feel uncomfortable in social environments? Anyway I grew up in a average christian family. Forced to go to church, attend mid-week services, read the bible and so on. I had a strict father who would not spare the rod and emotionally abusive words if I erred.
My parents normally always quarreled and had fights which often made me sad and cry. I blamed everything on my dad.
As I approached puberty my weird fetish kind of found its way into my sexual construction.
As a teenage I was a bit more outgoing and more talkative but I was still shy in social situations. I remember one time in jss1, we were watching a school drama where a girl who was poisoned fell down and died, just by seeing her die I had an erection immediately. I was surprised at this but didn't let it bother me. I consequently discovered that I had erections whenever I saw a lady die in any movie whether foreign or Nigerian. Funny enough due to the pleasant sexual feeling I experienced I started watching such movies where I knew a lady would die and I watched them over and over. The older I grew the more I wanted more, I didn't just want more, I wanted it to be better.
I watched porn once and I almost puked. It looked so irritating to me. The idea of sex alone doesn't interest me at all. Up till now I have never had sex, I don't know if its because I am not interested in it or because I don't have a girl friend. I have had female friends but never had anyone so close I would call my girlfriend.
When I turned 17 around the time I finished secondary school, my sexual orientation took another dimension. I started fantasizing about me killing a female. I couldn't get an arousal except it involved the actual thought of killing normally by strangling. Its something I just can't explain.
Thanks to the internet and my above average mind I found lot of sites that had the kind of videos I wanted. I downloaded most of them of had pleasurable experiences. The older I grow the worse it becomes. Whenever I see a beautiful girl those thoughts of killing flood my mind and wipe away any sort of religious and moral sanity. The thought of my hands round her neck and her struggling for breath as life fades from her eyes as I watch her finally give up as her eyes stare blankly is second to non. This has become a huge part of my psychology and I think it can only get worse. I have also become cold as in lacking some normal feelings such as love,pity and guilt
I posted this here on nairaland because I express my feelings better in writing and since I haven't told anyone yet about my little secret I just felt I should share it.
Do I need help?

I'm sure you developed this fantasy as a result of that. Seeing your mum getting beaten and having blood on her, must have unconsiously triggered something in the brain.
Every spouse must learn from this and know that there is no justification staying in an abusive marriage/relationship.
As for the op, you need to see a psychologist to reset that mentality of yours.

Shirley07:

I'm sure you developed this fantasy as a result of that. Seeing your mum getting beaten and having blood on her, must have unconsiously triggered something in the brain.
Every spouse must learn from this and know that there is no justification staying in an abusive marriage/relationship.
As for the op, you need to see a psychologist to reset that mentality of yours.

My dad never beat my mum!, and I never saw my mum bleed. And one more thing, I hate blood and I would never think about stabbing or anything that would bring about oozing out of blood

aahhh, You need to be arrested or caged before you kill someone oooo.....


Seriously, you need a counsellor. .. Watch good films that showcase true love, comic films/books, motivational books, go out with friends, do those stuffs that make you happy.. This way those evil thoughts may not find their way to your mind....

Btw, Do you go to church now?

sadguy:

In case you didn't know I am currently in my 4th year in the university studying a professional medical course

Then stop watching indecency and face your studies, you are not yet qualified until you graduate...

MarvellousGod:
aahhh, You need to be arrested or caged before you kill someone oooo.....


Seriously, you need a counsellor. .. Watch good films that showcase true love, comic films/books, motivational books, go out with friends, do those stuffs that make you happy.. This way those evil thoughts may not find their way to your mind....

Btw, Do you go to church now?

Yes I do

sadguy:

Yes I do

The joy, peace and love derived from knowing Christ should supercede all those feelings then.. Or you ain't so religious?


Get closer to God and I tell you, love and joy will overwhelm you. . While at it, get yourself a counsellor/psychologist. ..

Don't worry, you'll overcome this ok?

Hmmmmm

This poster is a potential murderer . But its nairaland, who cares. Until he starts killing people.

Seun osewa, take note.
Psychopathe everywhere

I usually see this in movies,NCIS or law&order but to actually read this here ,hmmmm........

This is creepy..

@sadguy, you are asking us do you need help? deep down inside within yourself, you know that all these things you typed down here is abnormal. how can you kill someone you want to make love with? there is a difference between having sex and making love. Try love making not sex.Love making is s gradual process, from holding to touching to kissing to Bjaying e.tc.You said you watched po.rn and you almost vomited? well that's abnormal in a way cuz you've also watched po.rn whereby the partner kills the girl then you get an attention . What you see in po.rn is an animalistic way of making love. If you don't get an attention after trying out BJ then something is wrong.You need to be also monitored during Bj so you don't kill the poor woman. My 2cents

You actually should be locked away because you could pose a treat to society.
Do you know that you need help hope you don`t end up a serial killer.
I think it is a great step to voice your inner feelings but you should seek help if you ever notice that you are going to sart doing something to harm anyone.

mutter:
You actually should be locked away because you could pose a treat to society.
Do you know that you need help hope you don`t end up a serial killer.
I think it is a great step to voice your inner feelings but you should seek help if you ever notice that you are going to sart doing something to harm anyone.

Locked up, really

You need to see a psychologist man. You have got serious psycho affective injuries. Stay away from "Ghetto Gaggers".

sadguy:

Locked up, really

No, let loose on the streets.

taryour:


No, let loose on the streets.

You seem kind of rude. Funny enough I derive greater pleasure when thinking about strangling rude and proud ladies

What's all this?

I dont know why people are taking you seriously, @ op.
If you had the problems you wrote up there for real, i would know already. Put your imagination to proper use young man and stop deceiving yourself 'cause you no fit kill chicken sef.

NL has become your platform for attention seeking, start your imaginary killing with your siblings then i go know say you serious..smh

DBestDoc:
I dont know why people are taking you seriously, @ op.
If you had the problems you wrote up there for real, i would know already. Put your imagination to proper use young man and stop deceiving yourself 'cause you no fit kill chicken sef.

NL has become your platform for attention seeking, start your imaginary killing with your siblings then i go know say you serious..smh

From your moniker I am guessing you are a doctor. But I wonder what type you are. The reason i Posted this was that I wanted advice from mature minds because the drive to act on those fantasies is getting more intense.
Its seems you are someone who doesn't take important things seriously. I wonder if this is what you would tell your patients if they share their problems.
SMH for this country

So you only get attention when you see a lady stabbed,wounded etc but am pretty sure you dnt get these attention when your mom or sisters are in harms way rubbish.

I seriouly think you should be put in a cage or just locked away from normal people.

On a flip side, everyone has their demons they have to overcome everyday I think I might get an "attention" if I see you mobbed btw where do you live? I might just be of help.