Culled From Yahoo Style (Written by Elle)

I remember writing a story about Halle Berry in college that included a mention of her abusive marriage. “Leave smoke” running away, she said at the time recounting her mother’s advice on handling men who mistreat women. For whatever reason, that quote always stuck with me especially as I learned of friends dealing with unhealthy relationships. Back then, I wondered why they stayed. But as I got older I began to understand, especially when I became one of those women who stayed waaaay past a relationship’s expiration date. And like many other women, I made excuses and didn’t know when enough was enough. Over time and with the help of friends and family who’ve been through similar situations, I learned the major deal breakers to look out for. Yes, we’re talking MAJOR.

Here are five red flags that give you the green light to walk away, even when you’re not 100 percent sure you’re doing the right thing. (Spoiler alert: You are.)

1. He gets violent, even if he doesn’t hit you.

You may think this is a no-brainer but honestly it isn’t. Most women I know who’ve been in abusive relationships have immense strength, only to shut down in the presence of her partner’s anger and violence. As a strong woman myself, I froze when a guy I’d been dating went into a rage one night, throwing things, damaging property and calling me names. I knew it was a deal breaker because even though he didn’t put his hands on me, he scared me. No healthy relationship can be built off a foundation of fear because you never know when his actions may escalate.

2. He cheats.

Many people will say this point is debatable because lots of couples who have fidelity issues repair their relationship and end up in a better than where they were pre-cheating. But it’s not the act of cheating that’s the deal breaker here; it’s the disrespect, broken trust and significant risk to your health. (Hello, STDS!) With all the risks that hang in the balance for just a tiny bit of pleasure, it’s entirely inconsiderate and selfish when a man cheats on you. Do you want someone who puts his wants before your needs, like security and trust? I don’t which is why I’ve said BYE to cheating men.

3. He doesn’t claim or proclaim you.

Many women will spend time in limbo-like relationships with guys who won’t give them the girlfriend title. Here’s the truth: If you’ve been dating a man for longer than six to nine months and he’s hasn’t made you an official part of his life, it’s time to MOVE ON. Stop making excuses for why things aren’t progressing to the next level; you’ll only waste time and your time is worth more than that. These days, I don’t settle for less because I don’t want a man who makes you a bargain-bin find. If he knows your worth, he’ll claim and proclaim you and there will be few conversations about how ‘he isn’t ready.’

4. He suffers from addiction.

There are plenty of honor badges to be earned by standing by your man when he’s fallen on hard times. But CAUTION if you stick with a man fighting demons, namely addiction. Addiction can range from less-severe, like cigarettes, to major issues such as drug, alcohol and sex. Someone who suffers from an addiction will do anything — and I mean anything — to get their fix, even at the expense of those they love. So unless you’d like to be second to whatever vices he has, it may be time to ‘leave smoke.’

5. He gaslights you.

We’ve spoken about gas-lighting, which is the manipulative act of someone attempting to change your memory or perception of events in their favor, making you feel crazy or like you’ve forgotten something. But when is gas-lighting a deal breaker, you ask? The answer is when it happens! A man who resorts to manipulative tactics to have his way or ‘win’ an argument will continue to play mind games and be dishonest with you. When I experienced gas-lighting in my relationships, I felt crazy and my self-esteem plummeted until I understood the game that was being played. Take advantage of the situation and leave immediately — it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.


https://www.yahoo.com/style/if-your-guy-does-these-5-things-dont-marry-him-105446894973.html

Single ladies beware!

True ,very true

Super Story.

As husband dey scarce these days, Nigerian Females would marry anything that has a _dick b/w his legs & a little dough to throw around.

So, OP, good luck trying to convince them otherwise

_{**continues drafting plan to steal chicken tonight**}

decode55:
Super Story.

As husband dey scarce these days, Nigerian Females would marry anything that has a _dick b/w his legs & a little dough to throw around.

So, OP, good luck trying to convince them otherwise

_{**continues drafting plan to steal chicken tonight**}

durrhh...op is right

Hope they Gerrit

decode55:
Super Story.

As husband dey scarce these days, Nigerian Females would marry anything that has a _dick b/w his legs & a little dough to throw around.

So, OP, good luck trying to convince them otherwise

_{**continues drafting plan to steal chicken tonight**}

I surely agree.

if he beg and prostrate for sex
dnt marry an ibecile

Most greatmen have cheated, smoked, get really mad at thier spouse and throw things abt either by feigning anger to study a lady's worst responses or by real grievance. Only yur number 5 is accepted, tho with a pint of salt cos atimes men can cook up certain ideas just to maintain macho supremacy in Way. Real ladies know how to get a man to worship her when the storm is ongoing or over in a relationship. They know thier power, except the man didnt ever love them in the first place. That is humility and obedience and modesty and the ultimate feminine stealth diversity. Those four are the things that brings a man to his knees in the long run, and observers would say she has alast drugged him with jaz. If women were to follow these rules u put up it means ladies like michelle obama would have broken up with president obama since courtship.

When gals don dey sing "marry me" by Falz,Yemi Alade and Poe, u dey here dey write list...
Husband material "coupon" don finish for market, na french Lace, ankara, and dry lace remain

Der are no perfect men...

perhaps dey shud come n marry u @ perhaps dey shud come n marry u @op

oohh my God, last week I gat a post here saying girls are crying for no one to marry them I assumed that we men now are playing hard to get for them ,now you mean dey should cat walk away.don't you want them to marry even if they see 10 signs is breaking up the next step

#singing...if you want to marry a husband, never marry a waka about..#keeps wakaring about

nanauju:

durrhh...op is right

Op is right abi? Most men would fall to on of these,if you insist your man has to be complete,you go tee there till you enter menopause o,the only thing a woman shouldn't stand is drug addiction cos it ruins lives

iamrealdeji:

Op is right abi? Most men would fall to on of these,if you insist your man has to be complete,you go tee there till you enter menopause o,the only thing a woman shouldn't stand is drug addiction cos it ruins lives

well, being addicted is bad. Evrythin or anythin done in excess is injurious. Most great kings drink wine and smoke cigar privately. Ask mandella or obama

Most gals wont mind dis if d man is a billoniare ,if u tink am lying,as Nl or unilag gals,who wud kill 4 a guy at d mere presence of a crosstour

Na only one Saturday, remain dis year o...

quantxzar:


1. He gets violent, even if he doesn’t hit you.

As a strong woman
myself, I froze when a guy I’d been dating went
into a rage one night, throwing things, damaging
property

You did something really silly and he was damaging his property (not yours), throwing his things (not yours) and I'm sure he didn't ask you to pay him back, replace or rearrange those things. I'm sure he even made sure none of those things touched you. Dude could have hurt himself

quantxzar:


1. He gets violent, even if he doesn’t hit you.

As a strong woman
myself, I froze when a guy I’d been dating went
into a rage one night, throwing things, damaging
property

You did something really silly and he was damaging his property (not yours), throwing his things (not yours) and I'm sure he didn't ask you to pay him back, replace or rearrange those things. I'm sure he even made sure none of those things touched you. Dude could have hurt himself :p for your own silly behavior and you think he's irrational?

Stop being silly so dude could use his money and energy for other things.

And some gals will see all these red flags and still stay put with the excuse..."I LOVE HIM."

Listen dearies, you can change a child but it's highly difficult to change an adult. Please don't stay with the notion that you will change him eventually. It may never happen.

Nigerian women adore and live men who do 2/3 ... they pray they don't get HIV/STDs or they hope he changes.


If he doesn't they manage and say, "at least I have a bae"

Nigerian women are so full of s,hit, it's amazing.

Are those not the flaws or imperfections of human,Does any woman think there is a goody goody perfect man out there with no single character flaw,if you can't marry a dude with one of those and make him a changed man,go get clay and mould mr perfect or yall ladies stay single for life.marriage isn't by force but by choice.

Lol. Your number three is funny and a waste of space on your list.

It's like saying: "If he doesn't propose, don't marry him," as if you can choose the unavailable option of marriage in the first place

Maybe you are the one that gave it an ill-fitting title sha. I think it should be "don't remain in that relationship"