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Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 3:11am On Dec 28, 2014
Lakeshizu:

Will you be available for him in the future?
Yes, I think so.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by iponrite: 3:14am On Dec 28, 2014
congrats on winning
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 3:26am On Dec 28, 2014
Originalsly:
"I need to take care of some things in my personal life that require my full attention "....I guess you quit your job...dropped your friends...stop visiting family and just locked yourself in some room. Is this your gift money part of what he gave you before he fell on hard times? Two years and you never saw the need to focus on yourself.....until now...when he down and you are not seeing signs of him getting up again. Your mouth testifying that you love him but actions showing something different. Actions speak louder than words. He said no friendship....you should be happy to get the space to focus on yourself....why insist on being friends?....to have a foot in the door to rush back in if he gets back on his feet? Get out of his life.
Sir/Madam,
I have to let the chips fall where the may on this. I'd love to still be friends because it was our foundation. I won't press it but I'm allowed to hope. Sometimes it's all one has left in some situations. No, the monetary gift is from my own earnings. The present issue that has arrived with me is rather new. If money could solve my problem, I'm more than capable of remedying it on my own. Money is not the issue. If you have only experienced money related problems, consider yourself blessed. I wish this were my problem as I could easily solve it and move on. Unfortunately, it is not the case.

1 Like

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Misogynist2014(m): 4:10am On Dec 28, 2014
temitemi1:
No amount can buy my love...
Nlders just like posting anything.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by holdit: 4:26am On Dec 28, 2014
Same thing happened to me few months ago with a lady i dated close to 4 years. That's the price you pay when you get committed to just one girl. She plays around your emotions and come up with stories and excuses.

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Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Calculux95: 4:30am On Dec 28, 2014
nieema:
I've been trying to end my 2 year relationship for a few months. There are several reasons but the MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself. I need to make some adjustments to improve my life and I need some space to refocus. I love him but I don't NEED to be in a relationship at this time with anyone. We promised each other that we would always be honest about how we were feeling. I reminded him of this when I tried to break things off six weeks ago. I told him that I would still be there for him if he needed anything. I respect him but I need to take care of some things in my peronal life that require my full attention.
I proposed that we go back to being friends but he rejected my offer. Even though we started as friends he said he isnt willing to have a friendship with me if I end the relationship. I don't think it's fair because I've been genuinely good to him. After much consideration and further frustration, I've decided to break it off tonight face to face. At the moment he is having some financial difficulties and I plan to gift him 40k to help ease the sting. I hope he undersatands that I sincerely care for him as I refocus on my own life.
Would you guys/ladies feel better if your honey left you with a break up gift?..or no??
my 2cents : I'm not sure you are truly in love with him, true love knows no bounds, it endures both in good times and resists the bad ones, maybe that you care deeply for him or infatuated with him, I can't imagine a scenario were I'll break up with my girl whom I truly love over some personal Issues, I'd rather seek her opinion and work through it together, but then again to each his/her own.

1 Like

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by ektbear: 5:07am On Dec 28, 2014
Breakup sex, yes
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by chyket(m): 5:19am On Dec 28, 2014
Think properly,does this breakup has anything to do with his present financial situation?when he was buoyant,was he good to you financially?.Personally I know that men are very sensitive when they are broke so he is likely to feel that you are leaving because he is broke at the moment.If you sincerly love him and there is a possibility of his bouncing back financially in the short run,why don't you work with him to get back at his feet and at that point that he has his groove back you can now leave him.He is very likely to take the breakup better at that point
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Nobody: 5:32am On Dec 28, 2014
Billyonaire:
Break up gift is not a bad idea if the amount involved is actually an offer one can not refuse. I have personally offered a lady 21 million naira to end a relationship I considered I have betrayed. She refused and demanded that I buy her a 50 million naira house. Everyone has a price tag, and if you have a good conscience, you can always know within your heart what is right. In this case, you are wrong my friend.
grin
shocked embarassed undecided cry

Oga, i hope your new year resolution would include abstinence from telling BIG lies

5 Likes

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by zeb04(f): 5:38am On Dec 28, 2014
Nieema I understand how you feel.
If you think you need a litl break for your mental sanity,so be it.
Even husbands and wife sometimes need the time to focus on themselves and most time,the go on vacation alone.

You are not selfish.r/ships esp (destructive ones)most times saps all your energy and strength.if he is such a reasonable person,he would understand .

Break up gift in whatever form is bad eithers sex or money is like an insult and in the long run,he wld feel bad and you wld feel bad.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Mzgracie(f): 5:49am On Dec 28, 2014
Gosh! You are so heartless. Is this a Christmas gift or a New year gift?...


What's wrong with you telling him your problems? You simply wanna break his heart.


Well, just know that there are lots of girls dying to be in your shoes right now.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 5:51am On Dec 28, 2014
chyket:
Think properly,does this breakup has anything to do with his present financial situation?when he was buoyant,was he good to you financially?.Personally I know that men are very sensitive when they are broke so he is likely to feel that you are leaving because he is broke at the moment.If you sincerly love him and there is a possibility of his bouncing back financially in the short run,why don't you [b]work with him to get back at his feet [/b]and at that point that he has his groove back you can now leave him.He is very likely to take the breakup better at that point
About a week ago, I asked for his account number for me to make a deposit as my Christmas gift to him. He said, "No I'm fine." I understand his pride sensitivities but I am financially stable and I have the to means to help him. I truly love him and his finances are of no consequence to me. I earn a decent living and I was raised to save. I don't exactly know how to answer you because our relationship was not centered around him financially supporting me. I love him because of who he is not what he has. He has been a wonderful bf to me and vise versa.
Is there something in the brain of Nairaland mentally that can only equate Love with Money? I don't need his money I have my own. What I need more than anything is my own peace of mind. I don't quite know any other way to express it.
I would absolutely give him whatever I could afford to jumpstart him back on his feet. He has rejected my financial gestures even when I offered it in the name of a Christmas gift. I've tried to leave money in his car at times because I may have noticed the tank on empty and he will place the cash back in my purse. This man is able to provide for himself, he doesn't NEED my money. I don't like to seem him struggle cos I love him but he has always managed. I want him to have his peace as well.

1 Like

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Nobody: 5:53am On Dec 28, 2014
u don't think it's fair becus he doesn't want 2 be friends after u break up with him, u r very selfiish angry angryangry. u want to give him money only as a way to keep him from moving on. u want to break up with him but u r still hoping he will b there when u r ready to get back with him again, bullshitt angry angry. save d excuses, u don't love him! if u do, u won't want to end it but u'll want to share wat u u are going thru with him bcus dats wat real couples do, not run away angry. u don't hv 2 spend every waking minute 2geda, u can b with him n still focus on urself, but if u want to end it completely u don't love him! save d nice front, abeg! in marriage there are no breaks, u ride it out n stick together. angry

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Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 5:58am On Dec 28, 2014
aflyingbird:

u don't think it's fair becus he doesn't want 2 be friends after u break up with him, u r very selfiish angry angryangry. u want to give him money only as a way to keep him from moving on. u want to break up with him but u r still hoping he will b there when u r ready to get back with him again, bullshitt angry angry. save d excuses, u don't love him! if u do, u won't want to end it but u'll want to share wat u u are going thru with him bcus dats wat real couples do, not run away angry. u don't hv 2 spend every waking minute 2geda, u can still b with him n focus on urself, but if u want to end it completely u don't love him! save d nice front, abeg! in marriage there are no breaks, u ride it out n stick together. angry
Where did you read that we are married? We are dating sir.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Nobody: 6:02am On Dec 28, 2014
nieema:

Where did you read that we are married? We are dating sir.
never said u r married rara, u know i was just using dat as an example. i know u r not married n just dating, i said couples first

1 Like

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by mykel25(m): 6:02am On Dec 28, 2014
Jboy8844:
why not?....just kiding, well, if he accept that money, it virtually mean, he's not truely inlove with you, cos from my calculation, no amount can buy LOVE......#my oppinion though.

with your comment I'm bn forced to ask HOW OLD ARE YOU?

accepting that has nothing to do bribery or buying love....it is understandable that it Cuz of his financial situation.... it also to show the love n care is still there... d guy nid to understand y d geh is pulling off
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by muh4lyf(m): 6:04am On Dec 28, 2014
NOTE: that I am not trying to paint guys as been good.. But can you do me a favour. Put yourself in his shoes. Have you done so? Then I guess the next thing you'd say his 'he broke my heart and payed me off' 'guys are so wicked'... You are proving chris brown right 'these girls aint loyal'. I guess you've haven't been loyal to him cos you'd been saying you love him,when you don't. I put it to you that no matter what,if you truly love him for anything or reason,you'd never let him go. Leave the guy in peace don't even try to pay him off cos you'd regret it... May God see you through...

1 Like

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 6:05am On Dec 28, 2014
@aflyingbird:
It's easy to assume you know what is right for somebody else until you are in their position. You are not dating him and you don't quite understand what he needs in a gf. It feels like I have myself in the relationship and currently it is a must that I focus on my own well being. If you are unable to understand that one needs to first take care of themselves then your perspective is wack...not mines. When did it start being wrong to take my own interests into consideration?
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by ifyebere(m): 6:06am On Dec 28, 2014
If I were u nieema, I would take my time and count the amount of people advicing and telling u it's not worth ur breaking up with him. Let me tell u real good, if break up with him naw thinking dat later in life he'l accept u back after u might av been done achieving ur "energy boost and lucozade" ma dear Hope not, it won't happen...

U can always acheive ur goals in dat same relationship while u give ur SPACE, just let him understand u need Space nd d kind of time he use to get from u as usual will av to get reduced so u can acheive wht u wanna acheive or build...

My dear be wise, weather he's broke or not it's not ma biz, I just need U to respect and Blive in him, he's broke DONT YOU THINK IT'S NOW HE NEEDS U D MOST? If you knw dat guy is hard working and u know and Blive he'l come out present situtuation (hard working guy) Blive me or not U will see him date another Gul nd for sure u will see dat gul1 day pregnant with his baby. I pray by then u also married if not... u'l have urself to blame. wink

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Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Naavah(f): 6:08am On Dec 28, 2014
Eleyi gidi gaan
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Nobody: 6:25am On Dec 28, 2014
nieema:
@aflyingbird:
It's easy to assume you know what is right for somebody else until you are in their position. You are not dating him and you don't quite understand what he needs in a gf. It feels like I have myself in the relationship and currently it is a must that I focus on my own well being. If you are unable to understand that one needs to first take care of themselves then your perspective is wack...not mines. When did it start being wrong to take my own interests into consideration?
What does he need in a gf? Are u trying to shift the blame on him now? U want to break up with him because you're not happy with yourself and want to focus on your life, not about what he needs in a gf. I bet he's a good guy himself. Him not wanting to break up with you though u have issues means he wants to stick with u. Most guys would've dipped after sensing ur insecurities. Let me break it down for u: folks don't just wake up one day realizing they need to take care of themselves all of a sudden. If u feel like this, then you've always felt like this, way before u began ur relationship with him. U probably shouldn't have gotten into the relationship because u were not emotionally ready to handle it from the start. Now that I know this, u should break up with him because u don't love him like u want to maintain and u are not emotionally mature enough to handle the relationship. If he's smart enough he would move on himself. A relationship shouldn't be by force.

1 Like

Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by kaboninc(m): 6:26am On Dec 28, 2014
nieema:


He asks you about your problems (because he cares) not because he can solve it but listening to it makes him be a part of it and tells you that he has willingly committed himself to it. But you wouldn't tell him (going by your comments here).

Yet you know he has a financial problem for which he STRONGLY needs help but rejects your offer? In fact YOUR own offer? You guys are in a relationship but still not in a relationship. You keep ur problems personal and he keeps his and you two know about it.

From now till whenever, he may never accept your gift because I feel he's excluded from you. Men, especially when we're facing financial difficulties, that's one of our most vulnerable situation and we need the complete support from our partner. That guy will be hurt and see will see that gift from you as a compensation.

Am not saying you shouldn't break up, but as someone rightly said, a problem shared is half solved. When you do break up, he'll be only interested in that particular personal issue you want to resolve. He'll ask you when you two talk about it. Until he knows, he'll never give up.

And in the future, learn to share your problems may bits to your partner and fully anonymously.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by galaxi(m): 6:30am On Dec 28, 2014
i understand how you feel when he rejects your financial help but honestly,a real man finds it hard to accept a gift he can't afford.
my gf is comfortable and have always tried helping me stand on my feet financially but i have always turned it down,even a car gift. I can't say if it is pride but is very hard for me but i know i love her.
I advice you just talk over this issues with him,and don't break up with him.

nieema:

About a week ago, I asked for his account number for me to make a deposit as my Christmas gift to him. He said, "No I'm fine." I understand his pride sensitivities but I am financially stable and I have the to means to help him. I truly love him and his finances are of no consequence to me. I earn a decent living and I was raised to save. I don't exactly know how to answer you because our relationship was not centered around him financially supporting me. I love him because of who he is not what he has. He has been a wonderful bf to me and vise versa.
Is there something in the brain of Nairaland mentally that can only equate Love with Money? I don't need his money I have my own. What I need more than anything is my own peace of mind. I don't quite know any other way to express it.
I would absolutely give him whatever I could afford to jumpstart him back on his feet. He has rejected my financial gestures even when I offered it in the name of a Christmas gift. I've tried to leave money in his car at times because I may have noticed the tank on empty and he will place the cash back in my purse. This man is able to provide for himself, he doesn't NEED my money. I don't like to seem him struggle cos I love him but he has always managed. I want him to have his peace as well.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Nobody: 6:41am On Dec 28, 2014
If you know you need some time alone, please take it. But keep in mind that he isn't obligated to accept you l8r on when you've sorted yourself out. And please, no breakup gift.

Try a letter. I've done those before.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 6:41am On Dec 28, 2014
ifyebere:
If I were u nieema, I would take my time and count the amount of people advicing and telling u it's not worth ur breaking up with him. Let me tell u real good, if break up with him naw thinking dat later in life he'l accept u back after u might av been done achieving ur "energy boost and lucozade" ma dear Hope not, it won't happen...

U can always acheive ur goals in dat same relationship while u give ur SPACE, just let him understand u need Space nd d kind of time he use to get from u as usual will av to get reduced so u can acheive wht u wanna acheive or build...

My dear be wise, weather he's broke or not it's not ma biz, I just need U to respect and Blive in him, he's broke DONT YOU THINK IT'S NOW HE NEEDS U D MOST? If you knw dat guy is hard working and u know and Blive he'l come out present situtuation (hard working guy) Blive me or not U will see him date another Gul nd for sure u will see dat gul1 day pregnant with his baby. I pray by then u also married if not... u'l have urself to blame. wink
Thank you ifyebere,
He knows I respect & believe in him and has told me this much. I realize that I've been putting his needs before mines. When we had the conversation about breaking up I asked him could we just take a break from each other. He still said no. He doesn't feel that we need a break. Aren't relationships about compromises? I would understand if he needed to take a little time for himself. And it would not come with a disclaimer to terminate all ties. I will always be there for him no matter how this ends..or turns out.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by goldentee(m): 6:41am On Dec 28, 2014
Wake up! Wake up!! This is dreamland. Oh! Sorry Nairaland I mean tongue
DopeAngel:
although am a guy. I would like a range rover 2015 model, a G wagon and mercedes benz C290. Then a well furnished mansion in ikoyi with two boys quarter and a barbeque joint. Then a swimming pool added. I would like a sponspored trip to paris and las vegas then to the romantic city of barcelona. Then a shopping spree in london will be all. All these are my heart desires if am to break up with my rich sugarmummy. Glory be to God
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 6:43am On Dec 28, 2014
EnlightenedSoul:
If you know you need some time alone, take it. But keep in mind that he isn't obligated to accept you l8r on when you've sorted yourself out. And please, no breakup gift.

Try a letter. I've done those b4.
Agreed.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Chommieblaq(f): 6:43am On Dec 28, 2014
yorex2011:


Somethings are really not easy as they seem.. Emotions are not easy to tame... I dunno how to explain it... Just do what your heart tells you... I'm not trying to change your mind... Only trying to speak like i was him.. Cheers
If u truly love tell him ur problems, let he be d courage u need cos ain't easy to break up with someone dats loves u so much and still be friends. Babe u go loose both d friendship and love, every one of us is fighting a personal Battle, yet a push or love of our love ones keeps us going.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 6:46am On Dec 28, 2014
goldentee:
Wake up! Wake up!! This is dreamland. Oh! Sorry Nairaland I mean tongue
My name isn't Beyonce...I'm not ballin' like that yet!!LOL
But I hope God grants you ALL of your heart's desires.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by Nobody: 6:54am On Dec 28, 2014
nieema:

Agreed.

Well, I understand where you're coming from. A letter will help you better convey your thoughts, esp since you've been having this discussion for nigh on two weeks without conclusion - a lot of it tends to get lost in the fray. Make sure you're certain before you take that step though (you seem it), and don't mind any of these judge-y comments. We have no idea what you're going through.

All the best.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 6:56am On Dec 28, 2014
Chommieblaq:
If u truly love tell him ur problems, let he be d courage u need cos ain't easy to break up with someone dats loves u so much and still be friends. Babe u go loose both d friendship and love, every one of us is fighting a personal Battle, yet a push or love of our love ones keeps us going.
Yes, I agree it may help to share my problems with him. I will.
Re: Would You Accept A Break Up Gift? by nieema: 7:05am On Dec 28, 2014
zeb04:
Nieema I understand how you feel.
If you think you need a litl break for your mental sanity,so be it.
Even husbands and wife sometimes need the time to focus on themselves and most time,the go on vacation alone.

You are not selfish.r/ships esp (destructive ones)most times saps all your energy and strength.if he is such a reasonable person,he would understand .

Break up gift in whatever form is bad
eithers sex or money is like an insult and in the long run,he wld feel bad and you wld feel bad.
That has been made clear. Thank you.

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