I seldomly flog children, if and when I do , I leave the environment because their sobbing leaves me with a taste.
I traveled to the East for Xmas celebration with my children and no doubt they are having great times. Around 6.00 pm I spoke wit my wife over the phone about my ailing baby that couldn't travel with us, thereafter she spoke with my son, charging him to remember her little sick sister in prayers.

About 6.45pm the children called my attention to the disappearance of my boy who refused telling them where he was off to. I was alarmed, bearing in mind the rate of child trafficking especially since a 2 yr old cousin of mine has been missing for about 2 mths now.

my quick search including to the church which is about 10mins walk didn't yield result. Coming back to raise a real search party I saw the young lad upon whom I lashed my first strokes of the cane while asking why and where he went all alone.
He answered he had left for the chapel but had to come back when he thought the gates would be closed. I had already started the flogging wish I could stop, but had to complete the first set of lashing.

calming down to talk with him he confessed he went to pray for his sick sister in the chapel since he knows the way. of course his mothers tongue lashing over the phone added to my re thinking...

peeps, NLanders pls what shouldn't I have done, what should I do

thanks pals!!!

Waiting impatiently

Call him, sit him down and talk to him. Tell him why you were angry that he left the house without telling you.
Make him know the importance of telling YOU tgings before he take or does them. He understands you love him. Unless you are an abusive parent before a child will keep what you did to him against you. If you are a loving parent, he will forget about the pain sooner than you think.
You and him can hold hands and pray for his sister and hug him after that.

the kidnapping rate in the southeast made you did so couple with the fact that you are temperamental and your little baby is strong. Now you feel terrible for doing such, not to worry. This only shows you have conscience and you like to protect what you love. Next time always hear people out before you judge. Next allow your anger cloud your judgement.

The truth is you are only doing what average Nigerian parents do; it takes a conscious effort to become emotionally strong yet vulnerable to your children.
What if, someone took him and by a quirk of fortune he escaped and found his way home? Would you have beaten him thereby compunding his misery?

The children of these days are different from how we, our elders and parents were. When you lash at them without giving them the chance to say why they did what they did, you make them timid especially as this is the foundation on which they would grow.

Yes, your child did wrong in going out without telling you but if you had sat him and warned him about wandering off, talking to strangers, eating in strange places etc; you won't need to beat the poor lad and even if you had to punish him there are more effective ways than cane marks. Please sit him down, tell him you didn't want to beat him but that you got scared. Educate him on the need to stay safe at all times.

What you have done cannot be undone but you can learn from it. Parenting has evolved, it is more than sending your kids to school, feeding and clothing them. It is consciously building more rounded individuals.

Please delete one of your thread with same topic or ask a mod to close it for you.

You are on point