Cybershow:
Yea I Wil Try My Best.

alright then! Good night!

Shaxee:
alright then! Good night!

Kkkkkk Boss

Skimpledawg:
Oga Stuff46 just said mah mind! @OP, do tale ya time to write and give us sth quite big, cos we readers enjoy it more when lengthier! And d 'Spain' issh, abeg xplain hw she got to spain running?

May be we should take it as cartoon

Hawlahscho:



May be we should take it as cartoon

Even Tom n Jerry make sense pass dt tin na

Hawlahscho:



May be we should take it as cartoon

LOLZ

Skimpledawg:

Even Tom n Jerry make sense pass dt tin na

Lolz

Cybershow:
Onemansquad,stuff46,skimpledaug And JulietAKK Hmmmmm Tenx 4 Ur Support On Dix Thread May God Help U And 4 Bearin Wit Me 4 Sumtym Am Realy Grateful Tenx Alot And Sum Pple I Dnt Mention Tenx 4 Ur Cooperation

You're welcome.

JulietAKK:

You're welcome.

Tenx Ma

They entered the car and set for the hospital.Alfred couldn't stop staring at princess,he ask besty;"what's both of you names?".she smiled;"my name is Besty,her name generally known as princess but her name is Cynthia".

Alfred said;"But she look different from you,are you of the same parents?" Besty wondered why he wanted to know more about her,she said;"well,No! she is a poor orphan who wander around the cold world not knowing where she is coming to,

Where to lay her head and whom to love" that is just princess,she was just lucky to run away from miami florida for three days after almost experiencing a rape from a person named Jack that she live with and he called her "MURDERESS"

When she use a bread knife to cut him on his shoulder to defend herself,for three days,running with an empty stomach before she got here,she stay at the corridor of the neighbour hood,not knowing where to go,but luck shine on her.

She has always being wandering here and there since she was nineteen years of age and next month,she wil be twenty years of age not knowing what to do in her life".[Alfred was moved to tears,he didn't know when tears drop down from his eyes,

He quickly clean it so that betsy would not notice but she has seen it] Alfred said;"poor girl,she suffered a lot,what does she do best or like best?" Betsy was eager to tell him that;"she loves to cook,to crochet,to make decoration to a room

Above all she loves to smile although there is an open wound whom only love can heal". Alfred nod in agreement and said;"we are in the hospital,so we shall talk later".

You're doing a gud job but I think these should help.
1)most tyms after every ",make the next word a capital letter.
2)don't start the names with small letter like betsy,it should be Betsy.
3)when ever u want to quote,i.e using this symbol " go to the nxt line using d last character in ur phone then start the next word with a capital letter.
Hope u get me?

Wininiel:

Tenx Alot I Wil Held 2 Dat Sir

Cybershow:
Tenx Alot I Wil Held 2 Dat Sir

I'm female.

Wininiel:

I'm female.

Oh Dnt B Anoid Ma I Dnt Kw

Cybershow:
Oh Dnt B Anoid Ma I Dnt Kw

No probs

Wininiel:

No probs

kkkkkk ma

Dis is getting interesting.

Jollyjoy:
Dis is getting interesting.

ohh tenx

A stretcher came to carry her to the wardroom,soon the doctor tested her and came to meet Mr Alfred,Betsy and her mother in the waiting room,Alfred rose up and asked;
"What took you so long to diagonise?"
Doctor Baran replied with a worried look;
"Mr luggard,if you want to save that girl life you will have to spend millions and since you are not her relative or anything to her,i pity her relative that are so poor that they can't avoid three square meal [reffering to Betsy and her mother]"
Alfred said;
"shut up Baran! Shut up! I ask for the ailment of the girl but instead,you are giving me stories,what is her ailment?" Dr. Baran said remorsefully;
"kidney stones due to lack of protein and ill-treatment". Fear grip Betsy and Aminata whose mind has gone far in thinking of where to get money for surgery but to their surprise,Alfred said,
"Betsy,Mrs sonora,put yourselves together because i can see that fear has gripped you to your spine. Dr Baran,perform the neccessary surgery today,i am that ladyzls guarantor so i'll wait till you are through with the surgery and she is discharged,then we shall all leave. Dr. Baran open his mouth in amazement and said;
"Boss? Did you just say you will stand as her guarantor in this situation? The money worth her treatment is $3,000,000£, boss i give you gold medal for your kindness".
Alfred nod and said,
"Waste no more time Baran,do the surgery with all your techniques"
Dr Baran bow in honour and left. After six hours,all of them [Betsy and Aminata] for the first time ate good food,to their satisfaction,Betsy was licking ice-cream when the doctor came out,Besty ask;
"Dr Baran,how is she". Dr Baran smiled and said;
"she was the first person i've operated in many years of her cases that never have any complication,she was really brave in the theatre,the critical hours are gone,she will be discharge by tomorrow evening".
Alfred smiled and said;
"thank you Baran,thank you very much [he wrote a cheque of six million naira] take,have this token of money for being so good".
Dr Baran bow in honour and left. Alfred,Betsy and Aminata went to lay in the nearest hotel,they were given pyjamas and some new clothes ordered byAlfred,took their bath,eat and went to bed........WATCH OUT FOR CHAPTER3.........hmmmmm.....let me know ur mind abt this write up thanks........

"kidney stones due to lack of protein and ill-treatment".
Fear grip Betsy....

Boss I tink it shuld be 'gripped' instead of 'grip'!
Nd anoda tin, try n space ya work after every quote cos it makes it cool to read!
Al d same, u ar rily improving nd tnx for makin d update longer! Dats a Plus! We ya readers ar hia to serve(read) u well.

You are not doing bad but please stop using short form for some words in the story and try editing your work well before posting.Welldone

You've made some changes and I'm glad....really. Especially the long update. Thank you

This is very much better. Thumbs up.

Skimpledawg:

Even Tom n Jerry make sense pass dt tin na

Yepa!!! Take am easy naw, sebi e Don beg una make una take am like that.

seunviju:
You are not doing bad but please stop using short form for some words in the story and try editing your work well before posting.Welldone

kkk i will kip to dat

JulietAKK:
You've made some changes and I'm glad....really. Especially the long update. Thank you

u wlcm ma tenx