Oga Bluestarry, you no go kee person here o

I'm "LOL-ing" hard

Your comment might make me drop another update. Pls keep em coming, it my fuel you know.

Aooux:
Oga Bluestarry, you no go kee person here o

I'm "LOL-ing" hard

shuoo! Is it that funny?

Bluestarry:
shuoo! Is it that funny?

abi o. Oga blue i no laugh for this one o. Oya post another one wey go make me laugh abeg.

" na captain o" he said.

" wetin he do?" i asked anxiously. Rock lowered himself Down on the sands.

"captain race come house, e say una bin dey go market, na so one man dey jog with lion for road. As the lion see you roar, the chain comot for him neck, e come dey pursue you, na so you run o you enter road Julius berger truck jamb you, na so you kpai" he said admist laughter. I was surprise and shock. So the grave he was digging was meant for me?

What a lie. Car? We go market? Lion? I enter road? Julius berger? Haaaa! What a snt lienus he was. So if i died as he predicted this was the way i would be buried?

His words would have come true o. Because surely, groundnut and sachet water would be shared. And would my ghost remain silent and watch as groundnut is passed round? No! It would surely get up and slap the fellow that brought such silly idea. And that would be captain.

"so? Una believe am?" i asked getting angry.

"me i no believe am o but as i see you na im i fear. Dey guy say the car jamp you, na so e kill you , good samiratann come carry your dead body go mortuary . Na so he rush house come dig grave so later e go buy casket then go comot you from mortuary come bury for here" he said. I shrugged my shoulders. I couldnt believe my ears. Na so people dey take kill people o.k. No wonder Becky tear that kind race o. Why she no go Olympics? Atleast Nigeria for win iron, gold na small thing na, na iron be the deal. Is there any iron in the medals?

The idiot crawled out of the grave he was digging and sat on the edges staring at me. Becky, vicky, ngozi and Joe came out of the bush.

" captain which kind talk be that one" i asked moving over to him.

"blue na you? Na you? I think say you kpai? No be you" he said shifting back into the pit.

"no be me na your grand pale be this" i replied holding on to his wrist.

His eyes had fear in them. This guy was definitely mad, i mean a high definition madness. Couldn't believe he shared such news and plus the way he acted made it look so real, as if i actually died. I even looked at myself to be sure i was still alive.

Legend says ghost feet dosent touch the ground, but mine was touching, i kicked a stone to be sure. Captain was still suffering from the current i gave him. Can't believe the charge was so powerful. Maybe rated 30volts.

It dawned on me, he forseed my grave instead of his future or his mothers grave. The slap i gave him was for his future not my grave. And i was sure going to collect that.

I was snapped back from my reverie when sands were poured on my head by captain. Legend has it that if sand is poured on a ghost head, it will efface since it is bound to stay in sands.

Captain was verifying that theory on me, to verify if i was kill or alive. I was greatly infuriated by his act, i didn't know when my hands landed on his bony cheeks.

He led out a deafening scream and fell into the pit, his hands clasp on his cheeks. Me sef fear the slap, it was loud like boko haram bomb. My hands became heavy and limp after the legendary slap. It was as if na concretei slapped.

That slap i was sure will correct his imaginations and help him look into his future, it will be clearer now.


" ekpo amiaa mkpaga " English translation means.
" ghost slap me i no die". He said in whispers.

Rock was laughing out his lungs. Legend has it that when a ghost slaps you, you are bound to die. But here was captain, alive and hearty, only wiggling in his grave, it was for him not me.

Joe approached me, his hands on his head.

" so you no die? Captain dey o"

" na who die? No allow make i give your own o " i said and he took a step backward laughing.

heheheheheheh
Lwkm!!

Baba blue dis one funny die... See as u dey recharge N1,500 credit for everybody face

Abeg make I go hide b4 u vex recharge N2,000 4 my small face

I can't stop laughing, people don bigin look me sumhow inside dis bus wey I dey.. Oga blue, u funi dai atelsu.

Una no wan comment ba? Ok na no update

Bluestarry:
Una no wan comment ba? Ok na no update

Na that ugly gate man I go use for u

Bluestarry:
Una no wan comment ba? Ok na no update

Oga the last 3 or 4 updates were damn fuNny I was reading it in a bus nd I was laughing people started staring at me like a Mad niqqie!

Dopeyomi:




Oga the last 3 or 4 updates were damn fuNny I was reading it in a bus nd I was laughing people started staring at me like a Mad niqqie!

ahhhh! Be careful o. Yabaleft official fit dey d bus o. E go make call dem come barb you go yabaleft left o

Bluestarry:
ahhhh! Be careful o. Yabaleft official fit dey d bus o. E go make call dem come barb you go yabaleft left o

Ah no ooo.. I bin control myself oooo I come dey smile like................

Lol,my ribs o. Blue u funi o

Mercyesse:
Lol,my ribs o. Blue u funi o

am happy for having you here. Thanks for the comment, am elated. Kisses

Hahaha..i gbadun you jare. Dem no go cheat you again. Just dey yab them 30 volts dey go.

Bluestarry, u made me burst out inside church, ushers come think say I drink alomo, abeg come continue joor


Nice efforts bro

Therock5555:
Bluestarry, u made me burst out inside church, ushers come think say I drink alomo, abeg come continue joor


Nice efforts bro

chaii...see dis madt man dey inside church d read story for NL
nor let devil begin open porn magazine for ur head ooooo
e go bad


anywaz Blue sea tank u for d update

Muaaaaaaaaaaaaah

dats for u blue
I love u....* ooops*

Therock5555:
Bluestarry, u made me burst out inside church, ushers come think say I drink alomo, abeg come continue joor


Nice efforts bro

ahhh ! Thanks for showing here, i thought you will never honour my invitation o. Welcome oga, update drops after service.

we dy wait ni

Dis captain is definitely mad! Dat slap we u give am no do at allllllllllllll! Laugh don finish me for where ade, con see as my frnds de check me out if ade okay, abi weda make dem start to prescribe drugs for me as starters. Lol!

Weldone baba blue!

lol cant stop laughing so funny

" all of una don mad"

"flames abeg no vex, i think say the dog chop you" captain said.

Now from lion to dog? No doubt the slap reshuffled his brain cells, he could think properly now.

" which dog? " rock asked.

" e concern you?" captain shot back dusting the sands from his chest.

"so na dog wey for kill blue?" Joe added.

" Joe you the look for my trouble" i said.

Captain whispered into my ears, " abeg no vex o you go tell me how you take fege "

The girls came to give their versions of story, according to what captain said. They apologised and we marched out of the woods.

Captain was still rubbing his cheeks, his shovel held firmly in his hands. I began to imagine,if that kind of slap packaged to me, will i live to give the tale?

We reached home and i went straight into my room. Un dress and went out to take my bath.

After the bath, i called lekpakelly. I postponed the calling of the goddess which almost got me kill by her monster.It would made me look desperate to her.

I rememberd the words of the man that answered the call the last time i called. Pushing them aside, i dialed her number.
She didn't pick, after the 5th time, i gave up. Ohhh! She's at work. Why would i forget such?

My stomach rumbled, as i drop the phone on the bed. I was hungry, very hungry. Put on my shirt, picked my wallet, as i was about exiting the room, Becky came in and sat on my pillow.

I shut my eyes in pity for the poor thing as she lowered her mass on it. The thing don suffer no be small. All the nyashes for that house don sit for am. If no be say i dey fantasies of bl**ping that bakassi times without number, i for don dash the babe her future sharp sharp. She fit follow see her pale grave na if him don die. Felt like rapping her that moment.
But i dare not try that, cos the aftermath of the sex with be my death. If captain finds out i bl**p him babe, he wouldn't hesitate to continue the digging of my grave. I would have signed my direct visa to the spirit realm, and groundnut and sachet water would be shared.


" blue where are you going? Becky asked.

"i wan go church"

"church? For Monday? You don go church before since i enter this house?"

" i be prophet na i dey fast and pray for my mind so no need for church"

she laughed and raised her left legs, her red pant came into view. The sight sent me electric charges through my Thomas Johnson. Dear! It been long i tapped some oil like my oga, moneysoldier will say.

I didn't know her motive, she deliberately did it. Was she trying to seduce me?
She immediately closed her legs and stood up.

"am coming too, what are the doing in the church?" i found my tongue immediately the question was asked. Shuoo! Wich kind question be that? One thing i like my soul is that i dont hesitate to give you the first reply that comes into my mind.

" them wan do parade"

" be serious for once na"

" na prayer and counselling"

"which church is that?"

" operation thunder strike your enemy faith living ministry of the most high church A.K.A. slap Satan Make im eye clear" i said bouncing trying to hide my growing tent.

She looked at me in pity and walked out of the room shaking her head.

To be sincere, I've seen a church that had such name. I swear some church names fit do make Satan fear.

"are you coming?" i asked as she went out. She looked back and.... Did she just wink at me? Maybe i no look am well.

I went out of the room into the corridor where captain rock stood with ngozi. Wonder what they were doing, abi their room no contain them? Passed them and headed out of the house, with one venue in my brain.

---

I arrived Kelly eatery and ordered for ekpangnkukwuo and two cups of hot coffee. Never seen such a weird combination before? What of my nigga captain that mixed cigar and bread together? E go chop bread then toshh cigar. Ok what of sugar cane and stew? If these kind of combination were eaten, believe me, there would be no kwashiokor, we would have been living healthily. Skin looking fresh and smooth. I can testify that on rock the day he ate mango and afang soup. He looked so cute and tall, but lived in the pit toilet for two days.


I heard mango and Pepsi gives one a direct visa to hell or heaven, depends on what you choose. How true is that?

I went to the eatery for two things ; getting my stomach feed and meeting lekpakelly.

After finish eating and no sign of her, i requested for two take aways, i paid my bill and walked out of the eatery. The take away werent for my friends o. Only God knows when last i ate in that house. And if i eat, is either am paired with rock or Joe.

I decided withdrawing money since my wallet was running dry. I smiled when i recalled N750,000 was chilling in my account. N500,000 sent by my pman and the rest were my hard earn money.

My thoughts went back to Mrs Sandra, Josephine, and aminat. Ohhh how i miss that diva, so good on bed and lively. Adamu? That ugly nigga... My oga landlord... The owner of the double edged cutlass. Happiness... Ohhhh that girl that almost got my head served to her father in a platter of "naiii naiii". *tray*

And chioma, her bakassi that i wasn't opportune to tap. Maybe na oga landlord wey dey service am now. Wish him good luck. Was i still wanted by Mr peter? I dare not go back to that town.

I was snapped back from my reverie when a keke pulled up in my front. And the rider of the machine i swear was a wonderful creature.

He was decorated with a big mound which serves as a horn on his forehead. It was so wonderfully made that i smiled at it.

This man in my front was far more uglier than adamu, for once i found him handsome compared to the monster in my front.

He wore red coat, you know there is a wide difference between a suit and a coat. No need to explain that. The coat he wore looked as if it wore him instead.

His eyes almost closed like a day born rat. I wonder how he dey see road. Na this kind thing the cause accident o after dem go talk say na wintch. Road safety dem no see this guy?

Baba blue - like the comedy concept.. it's nt all about sex sex and sex.. keep it up

Only God knows the number of souls this creature have killed. Shaa! No sane fellow would enter his keke sef.

I am sure that masquerade mask are carved out from his face, because i doubted if God created such a being. So Julius berger do create beings? This was a proved my brethren. And i was sure i was gonna have my worst nightmare that night.

He was grinning at me. He sure look like he was crying, his basket like mouth stretched.

"where you dey Ko" he asked spittles flying out. I sifted backwards when an offensive odour struck my nose which got my stomach turning.

" hop in let me dlop you" he said again. I simply held my breath and walked away as fast as my legs could, infact i ran.

I paid a taxi to zenith bank, withdrew money and paid a taxi home. I couldn't bring myself to enter a keke again after such a repugnantic encounter with the creature.

Almost evening when i reached home, my stomach still turning, my take way held firmly in my Hands.

"blue where you go?" captain asked as i barged in to the house.

" your mama villa" i replied.

" wetin dey that bag ?" rock asked pointing at my takeaway.

"your blockus na im dey inside" i replied going into my room. Took of my clothes with great speed. Dashed out to take a great bath. The spittles of the monster had poured on my shirts.

When through with the bath , i put on a singlet and tummy boxer and went into the backyard to chill with the girls guys dem, they were eating suya.

I sat down on the bench, my stomach still turning.
"God bless ye creature" i prayed within for the keke man if atall he was human.

"Wetin do you na blue?" ngozi sweet melodious voice rang in my ears. All the nigga eyes were on me naw.

"nothing naw"

" why your face dey like that na? You chop shitt?" Joe asked eating a large part of pork meat. Something i enjoy eating. I was salivating within but couldn't bring my self to eat it. When i stare at the the fleshy meat, i see the creatures face staring back at me.

" blue you sick?" vicky asked in concern.

"yess"

"wetin do you?" captain questioned.

" i get headache for stomach ...infact i dey sweat for tongue" i replied.

The ladies gave a very long and irritating hiss. Na snake dem be.

My stomach made a very loud noise and it struck me.... I was having a running stomach courtesy of the wonderful combination at Kellys eatery. I sprang with speed to the toilet my index finger placed at my anus. An act that got the niggers and girls laughing out their lungs.

I rushed to the toilet for more six time before the day ended.

Night came and we retired to our different rooms. I had a sleepless night courtesy of my running stomach. I discovered sleep around 2am. And when i finally slept, i dreamt about him...yes him.... The creature...

In my dream, i was chilling with my babe, the earth goddess, owner of cutlass, when he came around. Riding his keke into the compound. He knocked as i was about kissing the babe. He knocked and i went to opened, he walked into the house and kissed her. I fainted in the dream and woke up screaming.
He was more uglier this time, uglier than the dude in the picture below. Abeg na who release this monster for cage? That person no try atall oooo! This guy na im for win the world ugliest man ever liveth.... Na naijawapaz dey top for bad tinz sha.

kwencypresh:

Muaaaaaaaaaaaaah

dats for u blue
I love u....* ooops*

love you too bae

1sikiru1:
we dy wait ni

updated oga

Very funny a thing

oghenekome51:
Dis captain is definitely mad! Dat slap we u give am no do at allllllllllllll! Laugh don finish me for where ade, con see as my frnds de check me out if ade okay, abi weda make dem start to prescribe drugs for me as starters. Lol!

Weldone baba blue!

no allow make dem hold you oo. If dem come run oo cos if dem barber you ehh na yabaleft straight..you know i dont wanna miss a fan

Ali1king:
Very funny a thing

long time oga... Aw u dia?