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Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. - Family (17) - Nairaland

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Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by joe4christ(m): 11:05am On Jan 05, 2015
teemanbastos:
When JESUS d prince of peace is nt present, dis is what is faced.
Talk to ur pastor(s).
[size=15pt]Marriage is 'til death do us part'[/size]

Now, that's what i hate hearing, you religious people never ceases to amaze me...
A young man is at the verge of loosing his precious life and you're still advising him to stay put in an abusive marraige, i guess you would've also given your brother same irrational advice if he were to be in thesame situation.
May God deliver you from your mentality!

6 Likes

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by chudyboy05(m): 11:48am On Jan 05, 2015
Am a guy but I feel ur pains bro. Marriage issues is always a serious one. If ur wife had been making these ill comment to d man that paid her bride pride, then she don't worth to be called a wife. Having one on one talk with ur family & hers is ok. We all know that when a girl gets angry she can say all kinds if nonsense but not of this type. Be careful d way u stay with her & that u eat in d house. who is to blame now; the parents of the girl for not bringing up their daughter in an appropriate way but allowing her to be fed on like broiler. I bet that this ur wife might be a cultist while in school. Ndi igbo si" O biara igbu m,gbukwaa onwe ya. So, if u can come back from work & walk straight to ur room & have some peace of mind better or find a nearby friends house where u can be till ur family comes together to settle this issue. Na wetin we dey marry nowadays, u have to bear somethings!
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by chudyboy05(m): 11:52am On Jan 05, 2015
Am a guy but I feel ur pains bro. Marriage issues is always a serious one. If ur wife had been making these ill comment to d man that paid her bride pride, then she don't worth to be called a wife. Having one on one talk with ur family & hers is ok. We all know that when a girl gets angry she can say all kinds if nonsense but not of this type. Be careful d way u stay with her & that u eat in d house. who is to blame now; the parents of the girl for not bringing up their daughter in an appropriate way but allowing her to be fed on like broiler. I bet that this ur wife might be a cultist while in school. Ndi igbo si" O biara igbu m,gbukwaa onwe ya. So, if u can come back from work & walk straight to ur room & have some peace of mind better or find a nearby friends house where u can be till ur family comes together to settle this issue. Na wetin we dey marry nowadays, u have to bear somethings! I bet u Oga, ur family don't Di morning/night devotion & prayers. There is no Jesus in ur family & ur wife lacks some attributes of not been a prayer woman

1 Like

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Stanleyafam(m): 11:55am On Jan 05, 2015
You dated for 2years and still went on wt the marriage..did she hide these characters? Or were u blinded by love?
Talk to her cos of the child u guys brought to the world..try to sort things out and pray
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by babysheju2(f): 12:16pm On Jan 05, 2015
@ op truly the first year in fact first two years of marriage is not easy. my wasn't easy at all that I even tot of going back to my ex. but mine wasn't to the extent of insulting my m/in law. I just want every married woman reading this post to know that if u mistakenly swear for ur hubby I promise u before two years u will see d result becos both of u will suffer together. I tell every stubborn house wife I know with DAT crazy character say"u no stubborn reach me so calm down" but I thank God dis is my 6th years+ with 2kids. she need prayer and a calm hubby and also wake her at night beg her with her child's creator if she really loves n adore the child she will change... but my guy no be one day job o. And if she doesn't change, involve her family and if its still d same ehn
....my guy free her abeg

1 Like

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 12:24pm On Jan 05, 2015
miredia:
you haven't suggested how you expect him to be a man and deal with the problem.

My suggestion is to talk in deep with her but to be honest - get divorce bcs u wont change the situation. She is already disappointed in u and lost believe in u. Smth during that last year happened that she started behaving like this. There are 2 people in marriage not 1

1 Like

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 12:40pm On Jan 05, 2015
My advice for you is to get a DNA test. Make sure that child is truly yours
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 12:44pm On Jan 05, 2015
joe4christ:


God bless you dear, you're more reasonable than the ifyalways of a girl, that babe provoked me with her write up, it made me go personal with her.
Anyways, keep it up!
d wife fit kil na,,thanks jawe
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by aydah(f): 12:59pm On Jan 05, 2015
The bible is strongly against divorce. The only thing that should ever seperate a couple is death or infidelity. In the caseof infidelity, after te divorce, the couples mustemain. Alone and never marry until death unless they choose to forgive each other and come back. In your case bro,you havea serious domestic issue that needs serious counseling by your church counsellor both you and your wife need totalk to a seasoned man of God. And you u guys need to pray for your wife too as only God can change her. I believe this issue can be resolved. There is no human being on this planet that cannot be trnsformed.
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by joe4christ(m): 12:59pm On Jan 05, 2015
Sleekyshuga:
Are you done blabbing? Clap for yourself!! You just made a heap of a beautiful nonsense..

I'm very choosy with my words on an e-forum, and @ such, I look before I leap but this time, you've decided to buy my case.

I can see pains and frustration written all over your words.. Sorry bro if the world choose to frustrate you.. It's never too late.. Why don't you drop the fun, and start thinking of how best to help your miserable life..

Marriage is no child's game, and was never meant for everyone... "If you aint ready for it, don't embark on one".. I see no reason why I should be dating/courting a woman beater, and still believes he'll change after marriage? The same goes to the OP, and his likes.. You date a lady who finds it @ will to insult you, calling you names, and still, you walked her down the aisle, believing she'll change?

Knowing the kinda woman you are married to, you still let her do all the bills, and you think she'll let it go down the drain? Whatever happened to getting little loans from banks, friends, etc, and putting it into use?

I'll still repeat it again: A woman was meant to be a helper, and not a depender, and that was why God carved out Eve from Adam, and not Adam from Eve..

Mr Bachelor, the last I checked, I never told you I was in need of man or a shallow minded thinker like you..

Why don't you keep waiting for that woman who'll come sweep you off your feet? LAZY MAN..

Well, for the record and to your ignorance, i'm blessed with the best woman every man would ever wish for, and i aint seeking another.
And writing an epistle just to buttress a point eludes me.
You strike me more like a feminist who's frustrated cos she aint got a man that would stick with her for long, which clearly indicate you've got an attitudal issue that needed seriouse working-on.
Well, wont exchange words with you, just enjoy your lonely life.

Cheers!

2 Likes

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 1:12pm On Jan 05, 2015
Nawa ooh!

Well Rep042, my friend divorced his wife a month after wedding. Yes a month. He is now happily married to another lady.

So you see, it's very possible!

It's better for you to end that marriage immediately to avoid further complications down the road.

The least a man can take is to have a wife that wishes financial hardship on him. Adding assassination threat to it is an instant game changer.

Count your loses man and move on. Don't be a mumu!

2 Likes

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by mike0806(m): 1:19pm On Jan 05, 2015
Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.
hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.
Thank you.
Bro. I know say you homeboyz go Don tell u about am before marriage but u know gree.
Pack ur things and run when u can. That girl na bad market baba.
Na ni gi nokwa oo. Ur on ur own bro. If them kill u na u loose pass. GOD BLESS YOU AND keep YOU SAFE
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Natasha2(f): 1:24pm On Jan 05, 2015
Rep042:


I have decided to leave the house for her,I will be renting another apartment soon.Already making arrangement.

But,my greatest challenge is my son,I woudn't want to leave him with her,she hardly breastfeeds the baby, I usually buy baby milk: SMA Gold on weelky basis for my boy.

I will be speaking to my lawyer tomorrow to know how to work things out cos I want the child to be in my custody.

Obviously,she would fight to keep the child,but then I wouldn't want her to visit my office,even though the security guys would not let her in,but she would want to create a scene and possibly attract the attention of my boss. And that will not mean well for my job.

Considering the location of my office,any form of disturbance will attract the attention of security operatives and high net individuals,that, will automatically kill my career,therefore I wouldn't want dat to happen. I know she's capable of taking such extreme measures to pull me down.

So,I still don't know how to handle this situation.

Best solution is what I seek now.
Thanks.

hmm I really wished you could settle, I dislike broken homes cry



Since you have decided its a divorce, its alright, as for the child I'm sure your lawyer will enlighten you more on the chances you have, but It might be difficult since the child is still very much tender and needs its mother, but if you're able to prove she is a bad mother and that the safety if the child is questionable perhaps you'll be given the child.


Its like you haven't spoken to her up till now, Is she aware of the new development?



1 Like

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by egobetatoday: 2:00pm On Jan 05, 2015
Truckpusher:
Op, until I hear from your wife I will reserve my comment.


You don't use one party's account to decide who is right or wrong - Go run your home like every other men out there,brave the odds and conquer your wife with love unconditionally.

Most of the people that are advising you here to divorce your wife can't even make a good home.....yes that's a fact.

I even saw a well known baby mama with a stinking attitude on NL who doubles as a [/b]misandrist[b] advising you on how to go about your marriage that is experiencing normal crisis which all marriages does experience ,though yours is a bit tougher than what most people do witness but there is still room for changes and common sense will prevail here if you follow the line of mending fences and accepting blames just to calm everyone that is involved down while gradually working on your wife's psyche and I can assure you that one day she'll come back to her senses and thank you for sticking around even when she has lost it all and this is the mark of a true man.

My Mom once said that some women after pregnancy do a lot of unimaginable things due to hormonal imbalance as a result of childbirth and if she's also depressed then you need to man up,swallow your pride because this nonsense will stop at a time and both of you will look back and congratulate each other for being calm when all hell was already breaking loose.

And finally ,divorce is not always the option as you again might end up with something much more worse that would make your ex wife to appear as a saint.
For the sake of mankind and especially your baby,sit down and think thoroughly about what you're not doing right and fix this problem, divorce does not guarantee anyone another happy life with another woman.

MAKE I GO PUSH MY TRUCK ABEG cheesy


We'll said
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Sleekyshuga(f): 2:10pm On Jan 05, 2015
joe4christ:


Well, for the record and to your ignorance, i'm blessed with the best woman every man would ever wish for, and i aint seeking another.
And writing an epistle just to buttress a point eludes me.
You strike me more like a feminist who's frustrated cos she aint got a man that would stick with her for long, which clearly indicate you've got an attitudal issue that needed seriouse working-on.
Well, wont exchange words with you, just enjoy your lonely life.

Cheers!
Also, @ dz point, I should be the one telling you how unfortunate this lady is to be with you.. Such a huge shame..

A man who finds it so easy lashing out on a woman because she made her points is not worth being called 1.. You should learn to work on your manners, and the way you approach people..

Weaklings like you chicken out whenever a lady stands up to your ignorance, and the next thing she is labelled a Feminist.. Poo n trash..

Lonely life grin grin? Funny Bachelor grin grin.. My life is as beautiful as the diamonds, and I am very much grateful to God for that..

And also, for the records sake, I'm blessed with the best man on earth kiss kiss..

I say no to Mediocrity..

1 Like

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by pak: 2:16pm On Jan 05, 2015
mike0806:

Bro. I know say you homeboyz go Don tell u about am before marriage but u know gree.
Pack ur things and run when u can. That girl na bad market baba.
Na ni gi nokwa oo. Ur on ur own bro. If them kill u na u loose pass. GOD BLESS YOU AND keep YOU SAFE

Stanleyafam:
You dated for 2years and still went on wt the marriage..did she hide these characters? Or were u blinded by love?
Talk to her cos of the child u guys brought to the world..try to sort things out and pray


You are talking about homeboyz when the man himself confessed to knowing the kind of person his babe was even before marriage!



After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

But make I no blame the guy sha been somewhere close before. In a relationship where almost all my 'homeboiz' told me to run men but o boy it wasn't as easy.
Infact at some point we had an issue and she told a friend that she pitied me because I am just a cool person who had no idea who he is dealing with (choi !!! I don suffer grin grin grin).

OP sorry fa! but it's a big lesson for all concerned
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by lollipop25(f): 2:19pm On Jan 05, 2015
This is usually what happens when guys focus on just 'beauty' or other physical attributes of a woman to get married. After two years of dating, u definitely must have known the type of person she is, but you went ahead and married her. And also people around you must have advised you not to marry her but u ignored them. Its sad that things turned out this way, im sure you are not ready to lose ur life all in the name of staying married, pack your load now and run for your dear life.... Maybe some time away from her will change her behaviour but if not then divorce is the only option but be part of your child's life.. I dont know if ur wife is very beautiful but a beautiful woman with an ugly heart is ugly... cry
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by scholarosisi(f): 2:20pm On Jan 05, 2015
I think some women knows next to nothing when it come to marriage. My dear think very well before u act all that seems right may not end well, be very careful with ur decision make sure u are on God's side am sure he will assist u to come out of this mess succefully. My younger sister behaves like ur wife, the only difference is that she does not wear butt enhancer. But she has finished the man and his family members with her attitude. The only thing sustaing the marriage is that my family is against her. Our mom has threatened her several time. And my brothers has made it clear to her that they will make her suffer if her marriage ends. Am sure this is the reason she is trying to submit at all to her husband. As for ur wife's family they are shame less.

4 Likes

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 2:23pm On Jan 05, 2015
WombRaiders:


Worwor must you comment?

If I had dropped the beema levels nko?

Haters can go and die!

My d1k tho.... Will make you commit suicide like bright chimaze

grin
mchew
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Sleekyshuga(f): 2:23pm On Jan 05, 2015
lollipop25:
This is usually what happens when guys focus on just 'beauty' or other physical attributes of a woman to get married. After two years of dating, u definitely must have known the type of person she is, but you went ahead and married her. And also people around you must have advised you not to marry her but u ignored them. Its sad that things turned out this way, im sure you are not ready to lose ur life all in the name of staying married, pack your load now and run for your dear life.... Maybe some time away from her will change her behaviour but if not then divorce is the only option but be part of your child's life.. I dont know if ur wife is very beautiful but a beautiful woman with an ugly heart is ugly... cry
God bless you for this truth kiss kiss kiss..

To those telling him to stay, una dey try oo.. Imagine someone close to you in this situation, and all you could tell him/her is to stay?
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by kilokeys(m): 2:23pm On Jan 05, 2015
Sleekyshuga:
Also, @ dz point, I should be the one telling you how unfortunate this lady is to be with you.. Such a huge shame..

A man who finds it so easy lashing out on a woman because she made her points is not worth being called 1.. You should learn to work on your manners, and the way you approach people..

Weaklings like you chicken out whenever a lady stands up to your ignorance, and the next thing she is labelled a Feminist.. Poo n trash..

Lonely life grin grin? Funny Bachelor grin grin.. My life is a beautiful as the diamonds, and I am very much grateful to God for that..

And also, for the records sake, I'm blessed with the best man on earth kiss kiss..

I say no to Mediocrity..

he doesn't understand.. he should have asked me what kind of darling u have for a guy.
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by ogbonoeba: 2:25pm On Jan 05, 2015
You knew what she was like before marriage
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Eberex(m): 2:27pm On Jan 05, 2015
Ol boi, I'm having phobia already. What if my girl friend is only pretending now?
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by lollipop25(f): 2:28pm On Jan 05, 2015
Sleekyshuga:
God bless you for this truth kiss kiss kiss..

To those telling him to stay, una dey try oo.. Imagine someone close to you in this situation, and all you could tell him/her is to stay?
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Sleekyshuga(f): 2:28pm On Jan 05, 2015
kilokeys:


he doesn't understand.. he should have asked me what kind of darling u have for a guy.
Do I blame him? He thinks everyone thinks as shallow as he does? Since he has forced out my bad side, he'll have all of it.. Next time, he'll learn not to insult a lady..

Btw, I made my comments based on what the OP said, and one bachelor just peek his head from nowhere, insulting me..
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by lollipop25(f): 2:28pm On Jan 05, 2015
Abi ooo, marriage is to be enjoyed not endured... plus he has endured a lot and its still not working, so he should go away maybe temporarily
Sleekyshuga:
God bless you for this truth kiss kiss kiss..

To those telling him to stay, una dey try oo.. Imagine someone close to you in this situation, and all you could tell him/her is to stay?
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by lollipop25(f): 2:31pm On Jan 05, 2015
lol nobody can pretend for too long, one way or the other along the line the person will defo 'forget' to pretend and act who he/she really is... It just for you to watch her carefully lol grin grin
Eberex:
Ol boi, I'm having phobia already. What if my girl friend is only pretending now?
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by jpphilips(m): 2:32pm On Jan 05, 2015
You were a struggling young man who ran to a working class to marry because you want a partnership marriage, OR your business had issues and you want your wife to become your Jesus?
How many times have I said it here that the day a Nigerian woman feeds you that you are dead??

Pls just hang yourself, accident may damage people's property, be nice to the environment even in death.

Where is Sagamite?
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Sleekyshuga(f): 2:33pm On Jan 05, 2015
lollipop25:
Abi ooo, marriage is to be enjoyed not endured...
No doubts, the problems will come.. "Marriage is never a bed of roses".. What matters is how well you settle it but in this case, the OP has already sold his respect and dignity..

Imagine your wife, and family members fighting and shutting you up shocked shocked.. Wetin give her mind? She smoke ash? Wetin she chop? God made you the head..

His wife has lost it already.. Let her be!! Your major concern should be your child.. Live for that baby.. Whatever/whoever it is that is beating a drum for your wifey will someday stop..

3 Likes

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Sleekyshuga(f): 2:36pm On Jan 05, 2015
jpphilips:
You were a struggling young man who ran to a working class to marry because you want a partnership marriage, OR your business had issues and you want your wife to become your Jesus?
How many times have I said it here that the day a Nigerian woman feeds you that you are dead??


You are blessed kiss kiss..
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by cho25bc(f): 3:13pm On Jan 05, 2015
Few days ago,a guy came here 2 complain abt his fiancee abusing him n calling him names.den 2 pour petrol on fire,she demanded 4 money 4 all d sex she had been giving him.D guy asked NLers"am I dating a prostitute?". Sme insensitive pple told him 2 stop making a mountain out of a molehill,dat d lady in questiOn Only blurted out of anger,so he shud move on wit her.it is natural 2 say nasty things unintentionally wen u ar angry. Now,wat do they av to say to dis? angry my peOple,dis is d result of marrying an ill-mannered lady who lack respect 4 men.ill-mannered women go beyOnd being rude 2 being WICKED! My advice 4 u @OP,try 2 av a serious talk wit her even if she refuses 2 listen.go on uR knees n beg her 2 4give u in anyway u might av wronged her. Den go n rent a house outside(thank God it's not ur persOnal house,n she had lay claims dat it belonged 2 her now,so leave her HOUSE 4 her) where u will be away 4rm her madness.bt try 2 keep in touch wit uR kid by visiting him oR her as much as pssible.stay awaY 4rm her completely until u wil be eligible 2 divorce her.she had already told u dat she's no longer ur wife.I guess she is planning 2 marry anoda man(he's already in d picture anyway).also report d case 2 d pastor of her church,especially d one who joined both of u 2gether. shocked MY GOODNESS! Just one year n all these?my friend,u are married 2 ur enemy...oh!lest I 4get,d assasination threat?maybe u shud get police invOlved dis time around,so dat a restraIning order can be served 2 her n her family.if any gang attacks u,they wil be responsible 4 it. Bt make sure d police station is not where her sis works,else she may blOck ur way dere.

LAST bullet...my people,let us always consult GOD before walking down d aisle wit some1.dis is d result of allowing ur head 2 direct u,instead of God. cool PEACE!

1 Like

Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by pomsky: 3:14pm On Jan 05, 2015
......don't tear yourself up, the deed is done!
I would suggest u get your family and close friends involved since there is threat to life. If possible, get d threats discreetly recorded, video or audio first(you will need it in court )Notify the police and let there be a formal report. If ur in Nigeria, notify the JTF. Let her and her family be made to write undertaking for ur safety. Pls, emphasize d only threat to your life is from them, u are at peace with every other mortal on earth!
Then proceed to leaving the home, make sure u pay regular upkeep for the baby INTO HER ACCOUNT. Don't send cash,(u will need it as evidence later in court that u never abandoned ur child). Make certain to keep all deposit slips. Then get a lawyer and file for divorce: reason: threat to life, lack of a peaceful home, and irreconcilable differences.
Pls, once u start don't look back, if u do she will kill u with a poison dat takes some days to take effect so it will not be linked to her.
By the way, you had better stop eating her food for your own good
!

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