Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

Rep042:

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Rep042:

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

Rep042:


Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

aswani:


Why are you so worked up about her butt pads that you are telling her to remove it and even forcefully tearing it off her body in a fight?

You have a child and a job and you are worried about butt pads. I think you have your priorities mixed up.

You have a domineering personality that you need to curb for the sake of your child who needs both parents.
javascript:void(0);
Yoruba's have a term called 'Mo ju ku ro' which means ignore things. Because of a butt pad, you have brought out the worst in your wife.

I suggest you leave her and her butt pads alone and focus on staying in your marraige for the sake of your child. All men tolerate crap like this for the sake of their kids, join the club.

As for your wife, she is immature and needs some kind of help. She also knows butt pads are your weak points and she is using them to make you lose control of yourself. Regain your control back.

lollipop25:
lol nobody can pretend for too long, one way or the other along the line the person will defo 'forget' to pretend and act who he/she really is... It just for you to watch her carefully lol

Eberex:


You are wrong. Not with a woman who has a mission. I dated a girl for two years, and then proposed. She accepted whole-hardheartedly we even celebrated it. After two weeks she called and told me she wasn't interested, and that she has been pretending all along to love me. Meanwhile i believed her all through our courting whereas she was playing along.

So you see, we men can never be too careful.

I collected my ring back sharp sharp

haryormeedeh:
since you saw the signs before marriage, you should blame yourself a little. separate for a while sha and see if it works out but I don't encourage divorce

Natasha2:


hmm I really wished you could settle, I dislike broken homes



Since you have decided its a divorce, its alright, as for the child I'm sure your lawyer will enlighten you more on the chances you have, but It might be difficult since the child is still very much tender and needs its mother, but if you're able to prove she is a bad mother and that the safety if the child is questionable perhaps you'll be given the child.


Its like you haven't spoken to her up till now, Is she aware of the new development?

Natasha2:


hmm I really wished you could settle, I dislike broken homes



Since you have decided its a divorce, its alright, as for the child I'm sure your lawyer will enlighten you more on the chances you have, but It might be difficult since the child is still very much tender and needs its mother, but if you're able to prove she is a bad mother and that the safety if the child is questionable perhaps you'll be given the child.


Its like you haven't spoken to her up till now, Is she aware of the new development?

Rep042:
No,she is not aware.

Rep042:
Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of
place for a working class married lady to assist her husband
in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home.
Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will
record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me
whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of
words.

Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

H.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

Feraz:
And people were ready to skin killjoy for giving his reasons why he doesn't want to get married. I'm sure he's laughing somewhere reading this topic.

winnieG1:


Am I the only one that felt this story is fake? How come your mother came for omugwo instead of hers? Oh! I see the reason for her bashing you

Sleekyshuga:
Please Sir.........

.........How many 21st century generational women would want to settle down with a man who cannot raise a family?

.........How many Christian women/mothers would want to be pillars of a home when she has a man who is still hale and hearty?

.........Personally, would you want to settle down for marriage when you are not ready/fit for it?

You think I also don't read the bible or a christian woman/wife doesn't have her own problems? All she is supposed to do is shoulder the problems of her family? I am a REALIST, and I say things the way they are.. Times have changed.. The world keeps developing..

"A woman was created to be a helper, and not a depender".


N/B: No matter how good a lady/woman/wife or a man/husband might be, there is still a beast inside of her/him, that will only unleash when you turn on her/his bad side...

muyiwaadekunle1:
That's what you get when you don't give up on the most beautiful girls, you might have escaped these torrid times if you settle down with an average beautiful lady who won't have to impress anyone but you.

Sleekyshuga:
Please Sir.........

.........How many 21st century generational women would want to settle down with a man who cannot raise a family?

.........How many Christian women/mothers would want to be pillars of a home when she has a man who is still hale and hearty?

.........Personally, would you want to settle down for marriage when you are not ready/fit for it?

You think I also don't read the bible or a christian woman/wife doesn't have her own problems? All she is supposed to do is shoulder the problems of her family? I am a REALIST, and I say things the way they are.. Times have changed.. The world keeps developing..

"A woman was created to be a helper, and not a depender".


N/B: No matter how good a lady/woman/wife or a man/husband might be, there is still a beast inside of her/him, that will only unleash when you turn on her/his bad side...

Drone007:

On the contrary, he says he earns four times what his wife earns.

...[size=18pt]After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges[/size],and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

2buff:




Let me guess, na Igbo woman you marry

Eberex:


I just went through your profile and i found out you like picking on the igbos. But sorry to disappoint you bro, but this kind of attitude from a woman cannot be seen in an igbo woman. You should know better.

Jarus:


Well, that is me. It is my household. I am the head.

Dem no born that woman that will come and curse and threaten me.

Nibo ni month to raye oshi.

Sleekyshuga:


After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist, at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person, knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time.

But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...


And yes, he had an alternative knowing the kinda viper he married for a wife but yet, he threw cautions to the wind..

Maybe, I had issues reading the context the 1st time ,I had to read it again, and again, and I never saw where the OP mentioned earning 4 times better than his wife..[/b]

I'm done with the topic.. The OP should have gotten the advice he seek..

Good day..

Rep042:

smartigo:
@rep042. I would have loved to recommend divorce based on the threat to your life but the decision lies with you. What I will suggest is distancing yourself for awhile for your sanity.

But I still feel there is smthing you are not saying except she was designed to torment you. Good luck