You know I'm going to come back with a compilation of the quotes by the legend of Chris Rock.

Err, we're going to call this: The Book of Chris Rock.

In his own words:

- "Men can't go backwards sexually, while women can't go back in lifestyle (once you lose your job, you'll eventually lose your woman lol)."

- "Women don't like paying for shiit. D1ck is free but puccy cost money, and nothing dries up the puccy quicker than a woman reaching for her wallet."

- "You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense, and women don't like that."

- "Men are as faithful as their options."

- "Women need food, water, and compliments - that's right. And an occasional pair of shoes."

- "Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right. "

- "Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies."

- "Do you know? What the fvck do women want? l know what you want: everything. Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say, 'FVCK YOU! Fvck your hopes, fvck your dreams, fvck your plans … fvck everything you thought this life was going to bring to you. Now let's go out there and try to make this b1tch happy."

- "If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty."

- "Every woman in here … every guy you met has been trying to fvck you. That's right. Women are offered d1ck every day. Every woman in here … gets offered d1ck at least three times a week. Three times a day, shiiit! That's right, every time a man's being nice to you … all he's doing is offering d1ck. That's all it is. 'Can I get that for you? – How about some d1ck?' 'Could I help you with that? – Could I help you to some d1ck? – Do you need some d1ck?'"

- "Women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them … 'fvck that b1tch,' 'fvck that b1tch.' Guys are not like that. Guys actually think that there are other fishes in the sea, and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, 'Oh man, she's nice, I gotta get me a girl like that.' If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes, 'I gotta get him, and I will slit that b1tch's throat to do it.' Every girl in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man."

- "Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I'm not picking on my wife."

Missy89, babygirlfl, justfollowit, and fulanigirl.

You better grab a pen and start learning from the genius of Chris Rock. That's muthaphucking Chris Rock right there - when he talks, you ought to listen.

This guy is so on point. *Laughing hard*

With this pool of womanized knowledge, how did he lose his marriage of 18 years?

"I Think I Love My Wife"

Ploy:
With this pool of womanized knowledge, how did he lose his marriage of 18 years?

"I Think I Love My Wife"

I think he answered that with these two quotes (in his own words):

- "You could be married and bored or single and lonely."

- "Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time."

Also, he spoke about the fact that he hates being around married people in "never scared" cos they're boring as fvck - and it's all the same crap all the time.

Chris Rock is nuts.

SirShymex:


You better grab a pen and start learning from the genius of Chris Rock. That's muthaphucking Chris Rock right there - when he talks, you ought to listen.

Too much talk

Would you like to know the easiest and simplest solution

Justfollowit:


Too much talk

Would you like to know the easiest and simplest solution

Lol, I hear that lol.

Can you you fill me in, like Craig David then?

I'm all ears, Ibadan chic lol.

- "Every woman in here … every guy you met has been trying to fvck you. That's right. Women are offered d1ck every day. Every woman in here … gets offered d1ck at least three times a week. Three times a day, shiiit! That's right, every time a man's being nice to you … all he's doing is offering d1ck. That's all it is. 'Can I get that for you? – How about some d1ck?' 'Could I help you with that? – Could I help you to some d1ck? – Do you need some d1ck?'"

Oh my days!!

SirShymex:


Lol, I hear that lol.

Can you you fill me in, like Craig David then?

I'm all ears, Ibadan chic lol.

You could date, cohabit and marry one another and let us be


Or you could ship us all off to Mars

Justfollowit:


You could date, cohabit and marry one another and let us be


Or you could ship us all off to Mars

Lmao...p.us.sy is too sweet for two real men to start engaging in homoeroticism. And like Chris Rock said, "you can never win an argument against women."

That said, I know beneath all these talks, you're fantasising about meeting a guy like Chris Rock. Women love and adore real men, who say it as it's, with humour. Don't lie, I'm your conscience like Jamie Foxx!

SirShymex:


Lmao...p.us.sy is too sweet for two real men to start engaging in homoeroticism. And like Chris Rock said, "you can never win an argument against women."

That said, I know beneath all these talks, you're fantasising about meeting a guy like Chris Rock. Women love and adore real men, who say it as it's, with humour. Don't lie, I'm your conscience like Jamie Foxx!

It is not about real men, I try as much as possible to deal with practicability and objectivity, once it is both I am in

Admittedly, some of things he said are true while others are just gibberish.

And about meeting someone like Chris Rock, it depends on who he really is according to my standards. So you know my mind is very powerful hence I can disengage myself from people just by mere rational thoughts regardless of who they are.

I am always conscious of acting irrationally with humans according to my own subconscious set standards.

quote author=SirShymex post=29521607

Lmao...p.us.sy is too sweet for two real men to start engaging in homoeroticism. And like Chris Rock said, "you can never win an argument against women."



Well, if that is your choice quit complaining because we will always be women

Justfollowit:


It is not about real men, I try as much as possible to deal with practicability and objectivity, once it is both I am in

Admittedly, some of things he said are true while others are just gibberish.

And about meeting someone like Chris Rock, it depends on who he really is according to my standards. So you know my mind is very powerful hence I can disengage myself from people just by mere rational thoughts regardless of who they are.

I am always conscious of acting irrationally with humans according to my own subconscious set standards.

Lol, I like your thought process, especially the "practicality and objectivity" bit. And also how you posit your message, in a direct way, devoid of all the extras and illogical innuendos, I'm accustomed to on here. I need to engage you more cos this might be a farce to mask something else - no pun intended.

That said, it depends on how define gibberish cos I think he was speaking based on his own reality/experience. And that happens to be the reality of loads of people who can relate to that experience. However, the only difference is that: he isn't scared to put his thoughts forward, and he built a career based on his ability to do that, while creating humour out of it. Evidently, what you think is gibberish is his own reality...and I can relate to it.

Anyway, what are your standards? And how does your subconscious mind set these standards?

Hi,womanizer!

Justfollowit:
quote author=SirShymex post=29521607

Well, if that is your choice quit complaining because we will always be women

Ain't no one complaining, it's just the realness shining through - and that comes with the territory. Certain folks just don't know how to sugarcoat things, and pander to people in a deceptive/spurious way - regardless of whose ox is gored. Once you start doing that, with time, you're going to start looking corny.

Form the space I'm in, I can look into any chic's face and say it how it's - and still cuddle her afterwards. Same way Chris Rock can say all these things, get all the women in the audience to laugh hysterically, and still give some of them a good beat, afterwards.

That's what you call, "The Realness" and "Truth with no chaser."

all4naija:
Hi,womanizer!

Lol, don't call me that. I'm not a womaniser - I'm just trying to explore to see if I'm a good conversationalist.

Err, I saw you trying to speech the South African chic with ya dead game yesterday. That shiit got me ROTFLMAOOO!!!

Darn son! I gave you space to do ya thang, and you still flopped.

You can have all the chics on NL, I don't need them.

[quote author=SirShymex post=29523017]

Lol, I like your thought process, especially the "practicality and objectivity" bit. And also how you posit your message, in a direct way, devoid of all the extras and illogical innuendos, I'm accustomed to on here. I need to engage you more cos this might be a farce to mask something else - no pun intended.

Spot on. It is to mask the psycho in me

Anyway, what are your standards? And how does your subconscious mind set these standards?

Depends on the scenario.

My religion, culture, upbringing and ME that is my strengths and weaknesses

Ploy:
With this pool of womanized knowledge, how did he lose his marriage of 18 years?

"I Think I Love My Wife"

Good question

Justfollowit:
Spot on. It is to mask the psycho in me cool
Depends on the scenario.

My religion, culture, upbringing and ME that is my strengths and weaknesses

The psycho in you? - now I'm scared. Don't tell me you can bite off a guy's django like the thread I saw on FP this morning. Or are you the type that can turn "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" into a real life event?

How do you mean by "Depends on the scenario"? I'd wager that subconscious standards are influenced by progression/mental-development/interaction, albeit the nucleus has more to do upbringing/virtues-instilled-by-parents, father (for girls/women), environment etc.. It's never spontaneous.

Religion? - should religion actually be a premise for standards since all organised religions in this part of the world, branched out from same source.

Culture and upbringing? - I can relate to both.

babygirlfl:


Good question

Answered.

SirShymex:


I think he answered that with these two quotes (in his own words):

- "You could be married and bored or single and lonely."

- "Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time."

Also, he spoke about the fact that he hates being around married people in "never scared" cos they're boring as fvck - and it's all the same crap all the time.

Chris Rock is nuts.

When you are married you wanna kill your spouse, when you are single you wanna kill yourself

Lol..

:DLol..

Ogbeche77:
When you are married you wanna kill your spouse, when you are single you wanna kill yourself

Bwahahahaha - I remember this line. He concluded it with practising alibi with the mirror, and changing ya mind after watching an episode of CSI. Chris Rock is nuts!!!

But bruv, with a wife, with an ol'big big ar.se batty like Dollyparton1's, you won't even contemplate killing your spouse cos wasting all that batty would be disastrous. You'll just look at the batty and say, "Can't touch this" like MC Hammer.

SirShymex:
Missy89, babygirlfl, justfollowit, and fulanigirl.

You better grab a pen and start learning from the genius of Chris Rock. That's muthaphucking Chris Rock right there - when he talks, you ought to listen.

Chris rock is not a very smart individual.

Nobody should take him seriously. Heard his marriage just hit rock(ironic ) bottom. Whats up with that?

Missy89:


Chris rock is not a very smart individual.

Nobody take him seriously. Heard his marriage just hit rock bottom too. Whats up with that?

Lmao...you mean the same guy media folks were dedicating segments to for his "Top 5" movie isn't very smart? GTFOH! Heck, he's probably the only comedian, with Dave Chappelle and Bill Maher, folks talk to for opinions about politics and social issues. Even Seinfeld doesn't get the same love.

Nothing new, he's probably too bored and miserable in the darn marriage. He has been talking about it for time, so it isn't shocking, tbh.

Yo @babeonline, how are you, lil sis?

Happy new year, and I hope everything is cool now.

SirShymex:
Yo @babeonline, how are you, lil sis?

Happy new year, and I hope everything is cool now.

I have been wanting to talk to you. Happy new year.

Remember all the things we discussed that day? Erase it from your mind.

SirShymex:


Lol, don't call me that. I'm not a womaniser - I'm just trying to explore to see if I'm a good conversationalist.

Err, I saw you trying to speech the South African chic with ya dead game yesterday. That shiit got me ROTFLMAOOO!!!

Darn son! I gave you space to do ya thang, and you still flopped.

You can have all the chics on NL, I don't need them.

babeonline:

I have been wanting to talk to you. Happy new year.

Remember all the things we discussed that day? Erase it from your mind.

I'm happy for you but it's sad you had to go through all that at your age. Regardless, you need to stop watching people and whatever they say (especially those who always try to force what isn't there) and focus on yourself. People will always be people - with the overwhelming majority of them as snakes, frauds, and bullshiiters. Just do whatever puts a smile on your face, and don't worry about them. The most important thing is making your parents happy. Once they're happy, you'll become fulfilled.

Anyway, if you need/want anything, don't be a stranger - just shout me. It's well.

SirShymex

The psycho in you? - now I'm scared. Don't tell me you can bite off a guy's django like the thread I saw on FP this morning. Or are you the type that can turn "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" into a real life event?

The latter

That sounds so much lie me

How do you mean by "Depends on the scenario"? I'd wager that subconscious standards are influenced by progression/mental-development/interaction, albeit the nucleus has more to do upbringing/virtues-instilled-by-parents, father (for girls/women), environment etc.. It's never spontaneous.

Deep inside I know that there are things I will or will not do, it could be something I have battled on my mind, my upbringing etc. So when the situation presents itself I just act accordingly without the need to think again.

It is good you mentioned that it has more do with upbringing, but I am the most disobedient in the family . I am really keen on my individuality, therefore if the upbringing is not ME there is no way it is going to stick to me.

Religion? - should religion actually be a premise for standards since all organised religions in this part of the world, branched out from same source.

I like my religion a lot, and there are things I probably wouldn't do rest on my religion..too bad

SirShymex

Ain't no one complaining, it's just the realness shining through - and that comes with the territory. Certain folks just don't know how to sugarcoat things, and pander to people in a deceptive/spurious way - regardless of whose ox is gored. Once you start doing that, with time, you're going to start looking corny.

Do you know that I think men nag more than women. Our nag is 99% of the time for the greater good but yours is all about ego and authority

I like bluntness because I am however people are wired differently, and you have to leave room for that.

Form the space I'm in, I can look into any chic's face and say it how it's - and still cuddle her afterwards. Same way Chris Rock can say all these things, get all the women in the audience to laugh hysterically, and still give some of them a good beat, afterwards.

That's what you call, "The Realness" and "Truth with no chaser."

You can

I may not take offence to most things too I normally would if done with humour. If I eventually do, humouring me or showing care would make it worse