JulietAKK:

I'm here

Fatalveli:
Crazyscientist, I just view smallpenis profile an he was last seen today @ 4:36pm.

And you said he's been banned till feb

CrazyScientist:


Yea, I logged in today. See below.

Sweetdreamer:
Fatalveli i just dey check in now, bro no fall my hand for this story because i don dey like am, abeg no forqet drop me your contact number, i wan say make we yan for phone small.. Lols carry on boss

Fatalveli:
I no go fall ur hand, btw u've got many stories yourself, I'll read it up when I'm less busy

Fatalveli:
Damn you! You are SMALLPENIS, bring out my 7.7 avtomat and hit the butt of the gun on his head ferociously, where is onemansquad and emmykhul4love.

The prodigal son has returned

Fatalveli:
heh, no tell me say u dey support liverpool ooo.

CrazyScientist:


Brings my faule grete bombard ready for action , enjoying the story bro

Fembleez1:


Baba,na my club be that o

Fatalveli:
Every Liverpool fc and Arsenal fc supporters are liable to die young

Fatalveli:
Damn you! You are SMALLPENIS, bring out my 7.7 avtomat and hit the butt of the gun on his head ferociously, where is onemansquad and emmykhul4love.

The prodigal son has returned

D9ty7:
Na inside pluto this school dey ni? Which school dey punish students because they are not with a wristwatch? Na by force to tie something around your wrist?
Teachers punish students more for socks, shoes and neatness, how come wristwatch? I just dey ask ni o.
Na for where JSS3 student dey fall in love? By Nigeria's system of education, a JSS3 student should be between the age bracket 12-14 or thereabout. Shey na early puberty ni? Wetin I dey talk sef?
Now let me do the needful.
The way you described the Mr Taiwo scene, which sane teacher would ask his students if they were flirting. Its totally uncalled for. Even the mad teachers we had then in school won't ask such question even if you are holding hands.
Or maybe I missed something. You told us you are chatting with Hadijat, just normal talk talk. Which one be flirting again. Me I fear your teachers o.
JSS3 student prefect? I think there is a mistake somewhere, is the school just coming up or it doesn't have the senior class?
I know this story is a fiction, but you can try and make it real.
It seemed the teachers have singled out Tosin and his brother cos from the way you described the entry of your teachers, one would think they wanted to punish an offender or law breaker, but asking Tosin the multiplication table '14' actually killed the vibe. I may be wrong tho.
What am I saying sef? Lemme drop my pen into the basket of... basket of what sef? She kip it up.

Flakkydagirl:


I hail the writer and every other person readng this story.


I beg to agree with D9ty7's observations,this story doesn't sound right,neither does it sound real.Hw come the young students re falling in love and crushing.

With the few description of Hadijat,she's quite young and her body shouldn't be much developed.


To make matters worse,you're talking about ur younger bro of 14 having sex,you make it sound like its something right.A boy that should have received the beating of his life at that moment.


Don't forget this is a forum with other young readers and writers,its usually not good to infuse sex and sexual vibes or undertones among teenage students.And everything doesn't have to be able sex or flirtatous tone.


You really have to reconstruct this piece,and flirting is a strong word to use for young students.


That assembly saga was too fictional,nothing real about it and not believable too.

Then Mr Taiwo's action's are brutal,we're talking about a private school here.so how can a teacher act like that unless he has just received an appointment letter from Shell or Chevron.


How come he's reading on a monday morning instead of performing what he's been paid to do.


I'm not trying to kill your work.I'm just saying what I observe,you can do better.Take time to construe your grammers,spacings and passage and a beautiful piece would emerge.

Fatalveli:
Tags: MaziOmenuko, Queenxstar(f), Bluestarry(m),
SammyHoe(m), D9ty7(m), JeffreyJamez(m),
LogoDWhiz(m), Royver(m), daveP(m), Divepen
(m), onihaxy, Seun(m), JigsawKillah(m),
AudreyTimms(f), PrettySpicey(f),
Therock5555(m), kayemjay(m), LarrySun(m),
Ishilove, Dygeasy(m), Jennimma(f),
Fembleez1(m), safarigirl(f), vonn(f), princesa
(f), Hameenat94(f), mistytohcute(f),
TemitopeDaniel(m), KingzPen(m),
Onemansquad(m)

Kingphilips, Thronekid, kinwayne, Trypa, labaski, handie, adewealth, stuff, crystal saint, diamondwriter, harjiborlar, harzardous, flakkydagirl, whitemosquito, ishilove, Dyounstar, chistar, touchmeder, Vantee, dicefrost, stefikal, queenelly, mznelly, tiffanyj, standd, laykorn, laykhorn, Therock999, madzukovic, kayemjay. And so on.

harjibolar10:
Fatal, sorry...wale... No, fataveli, what happen now?

Come tell me wah happen now!!!!


Keep'em coming

Fatalveli:
Keep ur comments Cumming,

I sight u @ harjiborla 'n' champele

Bluestarry:
i don continue who offended the gods o