Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,409 members, 7,808,456 topics. Date: Thursday, 25 April 2024 at 12:11 PM

Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships (18467 Views)

Friends To The End: Making Your Friendships Work / How Do People Sustain Friendships? / A Woman Who Disguised As A Man For 43 Years To Feed Family Is Honoured In Egypt (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by eleojo23: 11:28am On Jan 16, 2015
Mynd44:
I think we can also call people who are not good friends friends. Reason being that I have a friend who goes against everything I stand for and is not really the type of person I will call a friend but I choose to be around the person not because I try to change the person or try to learn the person's ways but because through the person I can learn how not to treat friends who deserve it.

Sure the person does not deserve the friendship I give but I give it anyway because in showing the person a new level of friendship, I also show myself
That's a unique perspective. People with bad attitudes/values show us the kind of persons we should not be.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by hydeka: 12:01pm On Jan 16, 2015
hydeka:
Mods take this thread to the front page. It's worth it.

cc: Lalasticlala
Lala, this kind of thread cannot make FP? Please move it there.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by xpac01(m): 3:18pm On Jan 16, 2015
Am really inspired. Thanks a million OP for posting this piece.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by adexsimply(m): 3:18pm On Jan 16, 2015
Mo n bo.. cool
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by justscorch: 3:19pm On Jan 16, 2015
F*#k friendship,it's overrated.I rather have a girlfriend cos u know where her loyalty lies..






Friends depend on friends,not me tho. Let welfare feed you
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Isiterere(m): 3:22pm On Jan 16, 2015
....who hijack frontpage oooooo?


ALL IZZ WELL

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Nobody: 3:25pm On Jan 16, 2015
KanwuliaJara:
You find most of them online! grin
Jobless, 2-faced WEASELS and BASTARDS!!! cheesy All they do is boast and 'compete' with nothing to show for their lives. cheesy
Just wait till they come close AND DEAL THEM YOUR BEST SHOT! cheesy

You are one of them.
Black kettle calling pot black.

6 Likes

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Kingsasian(m): 3:33pm On Jan 16, 2015
True talk
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by bullabong(m): 3:37pm On Jan 16, 2015
eleojo23:
Feel free to share how your friends have helped you.
How have you been able to deal with toxic people in your life?
If you've been in wrong friendships before, share your experience so that others can learn. Thank you.
Nice write up.That's why I don't have friends but associates and colleagues.My friends are my immediate family.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by That9jaVine(m): 3:41pm On Jan 16, 2015
Na true story u yarn
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by ephi123(f): 3:46pm On Jan 16, 2015
Interesting reading this as in the past few days, I have been considering how to put some distance between me and a particular friend. I have decided it's not going to be business as usual this year. I sat down and said to myself what exactly is the basis for this friendship sef? In every friendship, you must bring something to the table - doesn't necessarily have to be material benefits, it could be something as simple as your personality, attitude, ideas, encouragement etc. This particular friend would keep me on the phone for almost 1 hour, the conversation is not done until SHE has finished all she wants to say, which is basically whinging and complaining about stuff. I dread her phone calls and I am drained by time she is done with her complaints. I have asked myself, do I want to continue with this this year and the answer is capital NO. If you are not adding any value to my life and only want to take take take (including my time), I am better off without such a person.

Quality over quantity any day for me.

1 Like

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Nobody: 4:00pm On Jan 16, 2015
Mynd44:
I think we can also call people who are not good friends friends. Reason being that I have a friend who goes against everything I stand for and is not really the type of person I will call a friend but I choose to be around the person not because I try to change the person or try to learn the person's ways but because through the person I can learn how not to treat friends who deserve it.

Sure the person does not deserve the friendship I give but I give it anyway because in showing the person a new level of friendship, I also show myself
No offence,but what you just typed is a whole lotta crap. You see a friendship thru your own eyes,you forget dt your friend sees life from a different perspective, d biggest mistake we can mk in life is tinkin dt evry1 sees d world d way we do. So dt your friend may just b managing you too.

2 Likes

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by ask4bk(m): 4:07pm On Jan 16, 2015
And this morning I spoke to over 200 people about the importance of True Friendship.

1. Being a True friend, which should consist of the ability to make sacrifices and leave one's comfort zone to help the other when he/she ain't on his feet.

2. Appreciating those we already have in our lives who have proved themselves as Friends over the years. We should let them know of what good they've been.

I said this all this morning and I'm happy to come see this topic here on NL.

2 Likes

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by ask4bk(m): 4:20pm On Jan 16, 2015
fabiano09:

No offence,but what you just typed is a whole lotta crap. You see a friendship thru your own eyes,you forget dt your friend sees life from a different perspective, d biggest mistake we can mk in life is tinkin dt evry1 sees d world d way we do. So dt your friend may just b managing you too.

His point is simply, teaching another a virtue, not by opening a learning class for him, but by being virtuous urself so that he "may" learn by seeing ur life.

If his friend can't be a good friend, he'll be that good friend to him, and maybe, one day he'll realise his bad path of friendship.

I sign up for this philosophy. Doesn't always work(for some indignant ppl), but at least u'll be doing the right thing.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by jelel6: 4:24pm On Jan 16, 2015
Man by nature is selfish. Most of you who complain about not gaining anything from your friendships, why cant you think of what you can give to improve the other fellow. Be selfless. In every association, you cant possibly gain 50-50 both, all the time. You abandon people because you think you only give. Dont expect others to give you when you need.

1 Like

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by tpiaobsession: 4:26pm On Jan 16, 2015
fabiano09:

No offence,but what you just typed is a whole lotta crap.

didnt want to mention it.

maybe he (?) needs to rephrase.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Nobody: 4:29pm On Jan 16, 2015
@OP thank you for this writeup.. you preached my heart! At some point we have to choose the real ones we would conquer some quest with! smiley So thank you! wink
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by osjoshua(m): 4:29pm On Jan 16, 2015
thanks op for this fantastic write up cos I've been thinking about how friendship has affected me negatively and towards the bottom of my thoughts,i later realized that my friendship with some certain dude has drain me, my blood,my thinking ability, my sensitivity and lastly my reading ability(educational aspect ).....all i need now is a divine intervention..OLUWA is in control anyway.....
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by tpiaobsession: 4:32pm On Jan 16, 2015
@ topic

if a disguised foe is your "friend", then you need to evaluate what you are doing wrong and why you keep such people around you.

what you are doing wrong in the sense of personality wise, the person has seen your weakness and needs to get close to you in order to capitalize on that.

where it is all leading to, ask a nairalander.

not saying all "foe friends" are foes, I'm assuming people at some point, will be able to distinguish between friends for friendship sake and friends for enmity sake.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Nobody: 4:36pm On Jan 16, 2015
Friendship is so over rated. Be the friend you want others to be to you. Keep your circle small....

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Mynd44: 4:43pm On Jan 16, 2015
fabiano09:

No offence,but what you just typed is a whole lotta crap. You see a friendship thru your own eyes,you forget dt your friend sees life from a different perspective, d biggest mistake we can mk in life is tinkin dt evry1 sees d world d way we do. So dt your friend may just b managing you too.
*smiles*
From my point the person is not a good friend. I never said the person treats me like a real friend too did I?

I also mentioned the person stands for things I am against which means I really am just in there because I choose to.

If the friend is "managing me" no problem as long as I achieve my aim of learning from myself through the person, fine.
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by UmmuHanif(f): 4:44pm On Jan 16, 2015
SO TRUE,BUT HOW CAN I DITCH THE FRIENDS I DONT WANT?
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by LagBlogger(m): 4:48pm On Jan 16, 2015
Mynd44:
I think we can also call people who are not good friends friends. Reason being that I have a friend who goes against everything I stand for and is not really the type of person I will call a friend but I choose to be around the person not because I try to change the person or try to learn the person's ways but because through the person I can learn how not to treat friends who deserve it.

Sure the person does not deserve the friendship I give but I give it anyway because in showing the person a new level of friendship, I also show myself

Sorry but I don't buy this line of reasoning. If he's toxic and you're not careful enough, he'll drag you down with him while drowning!
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Mynd44: 4:49pm On Jan 16, 2015
LagBlogger:


Sorry but I don't buy this line of reasoning. If he's toxic and you're not careful enough, he'll drag you down with him while drowning!
Well so far so good.

Thanks for the concern
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Gaystar(m): 5:31pm On Jan 16, 2015
I have always believed in friendship, many a times have I opened my heart to people I call frnds but they always let me down. Now I am a one man squad, I can never be hurt again, though I still have many people around me to oppress any form of loneliness but I can call any of them my friend.
My family, my blood and my people are those experience has taught me to now call friends cos they will never let me down come what may

1 Like

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Elparaiso(m): 5:40pm On Jan 16, 2015
I call everyone my friend....
But deep down I know I have none....



All I Have in life is ME!
I know I can't betray myself..

4 Likes

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by emedy(m): 5:42pm On Jan 16, 2015
So far...I think the closest people to me are my friends,this includes my Family. And my close friends happens to change consistently due to one Factor or the other.

My Family,My 2 paddies(which I haven't saved their contacts because I have it offhand) , My girlfriend...and a long list of others.

1 Like

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by mcdonald59(m): 5:51pm On Jan 16, 2015
after reading all these, cant stop asking myself if i really deserve d frnds i have......if d gain from my frndshp. this is cos i hav really nice frnds dat are alwys ready to sacrifc for me nd help me out in tyt situatns.....and am a pretty annoying person. nice thread.#new on NL#first time of replying anytin hia.

1 Like

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by piagetskinner(m): 5:59pm On Jan 16, 2015
I have no friends, I don't think I'm in need of them either...my family takes a very special spot in my life..then acquaintances....mentors#keeping it simple since 84AD
Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by zeezahbee(f): 6:00pm On Jan 16, 2015
mutter:

it is such a shame. When I moved to Europe I imagined I would meet loads of wonderful nigerians and africans. I came to discover that even the nigerians in the most interior part of Nigeria or in the wildest joints are more cultivated than many africans you meet here.
This never ceases to amaze me.
Chaii, I thought I was the only one thinking that way, the nigerians in diaspora are something else, the nigerians here are just nothing to write home about, backbiters , liars, they are full of shits, with the little time have spent in USA, I have learned a lot, I just stylishly segregate myself from them . If you are not careful, they will send you back to square one grin. Spits undecided

2 Likes

Re: Real Friends Or Disguised Foes? Re-evaluating Your Friendships by Rick9(m): 6:04pm On Jan 16, 2015
An0nimus:
My 'friends' ranking...

Homies cool
Close Friends
Normal Friends
Acquaintances
The rest.

The first two categories are not up to 5 people.
Oh mehn I love this

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

Woman Delivers Two Sets Of Identical Twins / What's That Thing You Hate To Purchase But You Need It Everyday? / Must You See A Pastor Before Choosing A Life Partner?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 45
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.