freecocoa:
Excuse me o, where did I crucify the OP for having someone live with him? He called her a house help and that's the problem most people seem to have with him, Yea, we had someone live with us but I didn't even know she wasn't my mum's child till I became of age, if you remember, I said we even took orders from her and our mum usually took her side being that she is way older than us, even when my cousin who is mates with my younger sister, came to spend some time with us(her parents wanted her to stay at home for a year for some reason)but she chose to come to our house, she was enrolled into my sister's school(instead of letting her waste a year)and my mum made sure they were in the same class, so what are you saying?

We never had anyone we called a house help, neither did we have an 11 year old live with us at any point in time.

If it's the name the OP tagged her that everyone is concerned about, then you guys have no meaningful point... the name may be kinda derogatory but what's the difference between treating someone you call your ward bad and treating a house help fine?? it's the treatment we should be more concerned about IMO....
How sure are we your mum treated her just the way you're saying it here?? we can as well start bashing you just the way everyone is doing to the op without getting all facts....

Ideally, if I see my daughter standing alone in the night or if I find my baby crying, with my 11 year old daughter who's around showing no concern, I will be very bothered. .. so where did the OP go wrong?? He coming here shows he's concerned, if not he would hv just gone home and bounced on the lil gal...
Let's give him the benefit of doubt that he means well while still advising him on treating the girl right instead of judging him ...

dein77:


Bro, you won't blame them for their opinions. I believe and accept my choice of words were wrong in the initial post, hence their anger and frustrations with me.....I still respect their objections, though.

I was literally BULLIED by these girls today. There are a very detailed folks, used to reading in between lines, will always pick out loopholes against you. You can't win
them in an argument.

Concerning the matter, I have decided to wave it aside. I believe she sleep walked.

Bros its all pretence, u dont want to know what most of thm do to thier full grown maids(i wnt say wards cos am realistic).so many of ds girls are better-off wt people dn in d village wt thiers folks where theyre forced into early marriage.my mum's maid came to live wt us at 9,i washed her cloths til she was old enof to do it and shes 19 now+all her elder sis av more dn 2kids in d village,d 12yr old wt me came 2yrs ago,i stil wash her cloths in d machine and she goes to school,few months ago,she knelt down all of a sudden and sed shes a witch and hs bin sent several errands to my hone but because am good to her shes nt bin able to do dem,we pray wt and for her all d tym.pls dnt let anyone tell u such is nt real!she myt b sleep walking and vice-versal,watch her closely sir!

aisha2:


Are you in every house to regulate how they are treated? I worked in child welfare for a long time and believe me you will cry everyday seeing what is done to these kids.

Again you can help by putting the kids on scholarship, I have and do so for several kids I will never meet. So many slave traders treated slaves well but it didn't change the fact that they were slaves.

No matter how we try to justify it, its illegal, doing this is like stealing or killing all against the law of the land. Those who fought to make it illegal me including saw what damage kids face hence an agency to fight against this

If i may ask WHY A CHILD AS HELP? WHY NOT AN ADULT? Whats the reason for taking a child who should be enjoying childhood?
I gave the example of Bill Gates and several other oyibos helping poor African kids why must we get something in return for " helping"?

You make sense and I agree with your points...From your post you once had someone live with you, So My problem is the way people are taking it out on the op.. Ain't there better ways to communicate it rather than being so judgemental and harsh?? Also, the message should have been getting rid of child househelp in Nigeria instead of people critising him because he called her househelp. ..

To your question, I don't know because I haven't hired Anyone before but it could be because getting an adult to pack fully into one's house is hard....

MarvellousGod:
If it's the name the OP tagged her that everyone is concerned about, then you guys have no meaningful point... the name may be kinda derogatory but what's the difference between treating someone you call your ward bad and treating a house help fine?? it's the treatment we should be more concerned about IMO....
How sure are we your mum treated her just the way you're saying it here?? we can as well start bashing you just the way everyone is doing to the op without getting all facts....

Ideally, if I see my daughter standing alone in the night or if I find my baby crying, with my 11 year old daughter who's around showing no concern, I will be very bothered. .. so where did the OP go wrong?? He coming here shows he's concerned, if not he would hv just gone home and bounced on the lil gal...
Let's give him the benefit of doubt that he means well while still advising him on treating the girl right instead of judging him ...

Lol at start bashing me, you are free to and you don't have to believe what I say but the fact remains, if he had to call her a househelp then she's nothing more than that to him, believe it or not, we called and still call my mum's ward 'Aunty or sister', never did I hear my mum refer to her as 'househelp' it was always 'my daughter' when talking about her to someone and 'your sister' when talking to us about her, which is why we didn't know she wasn't our direct sister till we became of age, no one here would pay me for my comments so why would I need to lie, especially since you raised the topic? if I'm saying something different from what I said in the thread you talked about, it would have been a different ball game.

Again, he went wrong by referring to her as a house-help and we all know what that means in this part of the world, how you refer to someone goes a long way to show what that person is to you.

You have every right to be bothered if your 11 years old daughter stood unconcerned while her baby brother cried, but that's not the case here, the said girl was not even in the room, she was in the living room and was confused as the lights came on, which I strongly believe is because she was sleep walking and wasn't aware of her environments till the lights jolted her, plus, you would ask her as your daughter why she was standing there, not call your hubby on the phone to raise unnecessary alarm, this singular act by the OP's wife has told us all we need to know, na today?

aisha2:
A child at that age range is going through puberty, will the employee be patient enough to explain the body changes?

A child at that age may have an active imagination, when she starts voicing it out she is bundled off to a pastor and flogged to confess witchcraft

A child at that age may still bed wet, will the employee understand that its part of growing up and the child may be reacting to some fear or will they just flog her and demand she gets to work and they get their moneys worth

A child at that age will have challenges with school, will the employee have time to ensure the child is fully developed academically or will they be too busy with their own childs work and ensuring that maid does her duties?

A child at that age develops interest in boys, do you explain to her the bird and the bees or pure pepper in her privates to prevent her from " flirting "

A child at that age has so many issues of her own to deal with, she shouldn't be forced to grow up and take adult roles. She didn't ask to be born poor, lets stop making kids pay for the carelessness of their parents

Ma'am i understand you completely o and i know how badly some women treat ds girls but il stil stand by the fact that most of them live better in civilised area where they are being fed better,if most of the adults that end up being maids had d opportunity at dia early age they would have ended up better!

freecocoa:
Lol at start bashing me, you are free to and you don't have to believe what I say but the fact remains, if he had to call her a househelp then she's nothing more than that to him, believe it or not, we called and still call my mum's ward 'Aunty or sister', never did I hear my mum refer to her as 'househelp' it was always 'my daughter' when talking about her to someone and 'your sister' when talking to us about her, which is why we didn't know she wasn't our direct sister till we became of age, no one here would pay me for my comments so why would I need to lie, especially since you raised the topic? if I'm saying something different from what I said in the thread you talked about, it would have been a different ball game.

Again, he went wrong by referring to her as a house-help and we all know what that means in this part of the world, how you refer to someone goes a long way to show what that person is to you.

You have every right to be bothered if your 11 years old daughter stood unconcerned while her baby brother cried, but that's not the case here, the said girl not even in the room, she was in the living room and was confused as the lights came on, which I strongly believe is because she was sleep walking and wasn't aware of her environments till the lights jolted her, plus, you would ask her as your daughter why she was standing there, not call your hubby on the phone to raise unnecessary alarm, this singular act by the OP's wife has told us all we need to know, na today?

You wont call your hubby if you find your daughter standing in the middle of the room in d dark?at that time of the day?calling a maid a ward abi househelp is d same ma,d least of d problen here is ENGLISH!

Please you and your wife need to look for a more matured domestic staff. 11 years old girl is way too young to undertake the tasks I am certain you guys will assign her to do. Do you think this child that still needs motherly care can administer drugs, prepare baby food, clean after your child when s/he poopoos?

Lumpyy:

You wont call your hubby if you find your daughter standing in the middle of the room in d dark?at that time of the day?calling a maid a ward abi househelp is d same ma,d least of d problen here is ENGLISH!

What am I calling him for? Have you been reading anything I wrote? I know what sleep-walking is all about so, no, I won't call him, unless there's something other than the girl just standing in the room looking confused.

freecocoa:
Lol at start bashing me, you are free to and you don't have to believe what I say but the fact remains, if he had to call her a househelp then she's nothing more than that to him, believe it or not, we called and still call my mum's ward 'Aunty or sister', never did I hear my mum refer to her as 'househelp' it was always 'my daughter' when talking about her to someone and 'your sister' when talking to us about her, which is why we didn't know she wasn't our direct sister till we became of age, no one here would pay me for my comments so why would I need to lie, especially since you raised the topic? if I'm saying something different from what I said in the thread you talked about, it would have been a different ball game.

Again, he went wrong by referring to her as a house-help and we all know what that means in this part of the world, how you refer to someone goes a long way to show what that person is to you.

You have every right to be bothered if your 11 years old daughter stood unconcerned while her baby brother cried, but that's not the case here, the said girl not even in the room, she was in the living room and was confused as the lights came on, which I strongly believe is because she was sleep walking and wasn't aware of her environments till the lights jolted her, plus, you would ask her as your daughter why she was standing there, not call your hubby on the phone to raise unnecessary alarm, this singular act by the OP's wife has told us all we need to know, na today?

It's well dear....
@your last two lines,,, what if you're judging him wrongly? ? People tend to think so negatively here and judge people wrongly, oh well maybe because the world seems bad....

I rest my case...

MarvellousGod:
You make sense and I agree with your points...From your post you once had someone live with you, So My problem is the way people are taking it out on the op.. Ain't there better ways to communicate it rather than being so judgemental and harsh?? Also, the message should have been getting rid of child househelp in Nigeria instead of people critising him because he called her househelp. ..
To your question, I don't know because I haven't hired Anyone before but it could be because getting an adult to pack fully into one's house is hard....

I NEVER lived with a underaged help never will. I said I fought for the implementation of the childs rights act no misinterprete my point so you can justify the point that people do it. Wrong is wrong. Its illegal

MarvellousGod:
You make sense and I agree with your points...From your post you once had someone live with you, So My problem is the way people are taking it out on the op.. Ain't there better ways to communicate it rather than being so judgemental and harsh?? Also, the message should have been getting rid of child househelp in Nigeria instead of people critising him because he called her househelp. ..

To your question, I don't know because I haven't hired Anyone before but it could be because getting an adult to pack fully into one's house is hard....

Why does one need to park in? Maids should be entitled to working hours. I don't work 24 hours so why subject a maid to 24 hours round the clock service?
Husbands should learn to chip in so that you both can plan your day in a way that you close from work maid goes home and has time to build her own life.

janvier27:
But she did explain what she was doing there. Standing still may have just been out of shock, moreso the baby was crying then and madam expected her to be with the baby. Madam's fear is understandable though, & I imagine your not taking it lightly is cos of the way it was presented to you. I think you should just be patient & continue to watch closely.

Thanks dear. As parents it's not unusual to occasionally have your kids scream at night. She's a very good daughter to us. Our only concern was why she wasn't in bed at that hour. Our son and her sleeps in the same room; on the same bed.

dein77:



Thanks dear. As parents it's not unusual to occasionally have your kids scream at night. She's a very good daughter to us. Our only concern was why she wasn't in bed at that hour. Our son and her sleeps in the same room; on the same bed.

Do you have a maid aside this 11 year old child
Is your wife a housewife or she works?

MarvellousGod:
It's well dear....
@your last two lines,,, what if you're judging him wrongly? ? People tend to think so negatively here and judge people wrongly, oh well maybe because the world seems bad....

I rest my case...

I hope we all are for the little girl's sake, I just think making this a big deal doesn't speak well of them, but then again, people react differently to things.

It's all good anyways.

For all intents and purposes, I'm grateful for all your comments concerning this matter. This matter is considered dead in my mind. I didn't even raise it when I got home this morning. Following popular comments, I want to believe she was sleepwalking, and whatever that happened was just a mere coincidence. Nothing more.

However, I also have learned some lessons from this thread today. Brutal lessons. One is that, especially on a faceless forum as this, most people form opinions about us solely on our WORDS. Once we type them, they are gone out, and no amount of modifications can alter the initial opinions held my audience.

Another is the fact that most people enjoy selfish criticism than asking for more details from a poster so as to make informed decisions. That's life. Despite all the efforts I made to clarify my position, most people still continued the bashing.....probably it concealed their own esteem issues...people are deeply complex. Aisha2 mouth na fire......

Kudos to those who, while making their observations, we're still able to see my point of view. Thanks for all the objective ones. Una do well.

Also, I learned even ladies do BULLY guys. I was literally bullied, insulted and disrespected today mostly my ladies. ..well, they are a more detailed folks. .Una get mouth ehhh! !

Lastly, I discovered nothing can be more painful and frustrating than having one's words totally MISCONSTRUED, and then a wrong conclusion drawn. I promise to be more empathic with others in my life henceforth.

Real matter: With every fibre in me, I hate and condemn CHILD LABOUR. It's a breach of child rights. But our ward's case ( using the more dignify in word) isn't child labour. She's doesn't receive any PAY, neither do our parents. She attends one of the best schools in my area in PH; eats exactly what we all eat; goes to bed we all do; enjoys all the rights and privileges our kids do enjoy. We intend she grows up with us, and finish our University education from our home. Patience is a daughter to us. Her mum comes visiting almost every month. .....

I think a ward attending a school worth 45K every term is pretty well treated.

So, I really mean well for her. I watch and read news about Child labour. And I give my soprano voice against it.....

With these few lines of mine, I should be able to convince the nobles and open-minded that our daughter ISNT a househelp in the sense we all think.

Shalom, and God bless you all.......Kudos to my RCCG folks. Don't give up the fast; get the lamp burning; let love reign.

uzolexis:
Going thru this thread and the comments i'm very impressed. I had initially thought i would see a lot of "she's a witch", "take her to this or that pastor" "send her away" "fire fire" and the likes but the replies i've read r just overwhelming and they have made me sincerely happy. OP i hope u have learnt,i have nothing more to add. They have said it all.

I also perceive dein77 was hoping for cries of "witchery", expel the witch, etc. In as much as I want to applaud him for his stating he treats her as a ward I can't help but be disgusted by his calling her his house help. It shows how he truly regards her.

LordReed:


I also perceive dein77 was hoping for cries of "witchery", expel the witch, etc. In as much as I want to applaud him for his stating he treats her as a ward I can't help but be disgusted by his calling her his house help. It shows how he truly regards her.

U guys are simply impossible. Just impossible. The human mind!!!

dein77:


U guys are simply impossible. Just impossible. The human mind!!!

Yes the mind is amazing and yours betrayed you. Your subconscious view of the 11year old was revealed in your post because you felt you would receive some "spiricoco" sympathy with the way you phrased it.

I can't get over my disgust despite your revision. I truly pray that you are not mistreating that little girl.

Hi aisha2.
Pls do u know of any orphanage in abuja that handles adoption proceedings well and unbiased?

Thanks dear.


Maids and madams and ogas
Una well done.

dein77:
For all intents and purposes, I'm grateful for all your comments concerning this matter. This matter is considered dead in my mind. I didn't even raise it when I got home this morning. Following popular comments, I want to believe she was sleepwalking, and whatever that happened was just a mere coincidence. Nothing more.
However, I also have learned some lessons from this thread today. Brutal lessons. One is that, especially on a faceless forum as this, most people form opinions about us solely on our WORDS. Once we type them, they are gone out, and no amount of modifications can alter the initial opinions held my audience.
Another is the fact that most people enjoy selfish criticism than asking for more details from a poster so as to make informed decisions. That's life. Despite all the efforts I made to clarify my position, most people still continued the bashing.....probably it concealed their own esteem issues...people are deeply complex. Aisha2 mouth na fire......
Kudos to those who, while making their observations, we're still able to see my point of view. Thanks for all the objective ones. Una do well.
Also, I learned even ladies do BULLY guys. I was literally bullied, insulted and disrespected today mostly my ladies. ..well, they are a more detailed folks. .Una get mouth ehhh! !
Lastly, I discovered nothing can be more painful and frustrating than having one's words totally MISCONSTRUED, and then a wrong conclusion drawn. I promise to be more empathic with others in my life henceforth.
Real matter: With every fibre in me, I hate and condemn CHILD LABOUR. It's a breach of child rights. But our ward's case ( using the more dignify in word) isn't child labour. She's doesn't receive any PAY, neither do our parents. She attends one of the best schools in my area in PH; eats exactly what we all eat; goes to bed we all do; enjoys all the rights and privileges our kids do enjoy. We intend she grows up with us, and finish our University education from our home. Patience is a daughter to us. Her mum comes visiting almost every month. .....
I think a ward attending a school worth 45K every term is pretty well treated.
So, I really mean well for her. I watch and read news about Child labour. And I give my soprano voice against it.....
With these few lines of mine, I should be able to convince the nobles and open-minded that our daughter ISNT a househelp in the sense we all think.
Shalom, and God bless you all.......Kudos to my RCCG folks. Don't give up the fast; get the lamp burning; let love reign.

Oga, I don't have any esteem issues. What is wrong is wrong no amount of sugar coating or word adjustment can change that. You can have her in a good school while she is staying with her parents if you really want ro help.
Bill Gates has over 200000 African children in good schools yet they don't stay in his house and work for him and this is someone who says he doesn't believe in God how much more we who are supposed to be the light of the earth only helping because we want something in return.

Legally it is wrong.

I am passionate because every child deserves a childhood, every child deserves to go through childhood issues in peace and love guided by parents.every child should have the right to do childlike things without it being misinterpreted as witchcraft. We as Christains salt of the earth, light of the world need not take advantage of the kids whose parents have challenges.

Last Christmas, me and a few Nairalanders gathered our widows might here and gave some small things to single mothers to help out their babies, none of us asked for anything in return, we could have asked instead for their kids to come so we can " help" and make them work for the " help", that wouldn't be true religion. Giving and helping those in need is lending to God, God gave us what we have so we can share with others and not so we can take advantage of others in tight situations. The kids are not to be blamed if their parents failed to plan na.

Long and short, get an adult to help you out, work your schedule so you can help your wife and will require limited help from a maid. Get an adult maid, sign a contract and give human working hours. Being a maid is a job like any other, its a job like mine, let there be opening and closing hours

A maid is a maid, a profession one should be proud of, a profession an adult goes into and should be proud that she is working honestly to put food on the table. It doesn't need to be undignified, a maid is an employee and not a sister, daughter or any of the colouration. I am not my bosses daughter or sister, my maid is not my sister, she works and proudly earns her pay, if I violate terms of our contract she can challenge me and vice versa

moca:
Hi aisha2.
Pls do u know of any orphanage in abuja that handles adoption proceedings well and unbiased?

Thanks dear.


Maids and madams and ogas
Una well done.

All adoptions are done via the social welfare secretariat. You apply, they visit inspect your house, interview you, then when a child is available for adoption you go to the home and see the child, if all is set you go before a judge and swear and sign the papers

aisha2:


All adoptions are done via the social welfare secretariat. You apply, they visit inspect your house, interview you, then when a child is available for adoption you go to the home and see the child, if all is set you go before a judge and swear and sign the papers

Thank u babe

pickabeau1:


Do you have a maid aside this 11 year old child
Is your wife a housewife or she works?

dein77

Answer pickabeau' question first jare.

That one will clear matters up a bit.

dein77:
For all intents and purposes, I'm grateful for all your comments concerning this matter. This matter is considered dead in my mind. I didn't even raise it when I got home this morning. Following popular comments, I want to believe she was sleepwalking, and whatever that happened was just a mere coincidence. Nothing more.

However, I also have learned some lessons from this thread today. Brutal lessons. One is that, especially on a faceless forum as this, most people form opinions about us solely on our WORDS. Once we type them, they are gone out, and no amount of modifications can alter the initial opinions held my audience.

Another is the fact that most people enjoy selfish criticism than asking for more details from a poster so as to make informed decisions. That's life. Despite all the efforts I made to clarify my position, most people still continued the bashing.....probably it concealed their own esteem issues...people are deeply complex. Aisha2 mouth na fire......

Kudos to those who, while making their observations, we're still able to see my point of view. Thanks for all the objective ones. Una do well.

Also, I learned even ladies do BULLY guys. I was literally bullied, insulted and disrespected today mostly my ladies. ..well, they are a more detailed folks. .Una get mouth ehhh! !

Lastly, I discovered nothing can be more painful and frustrating than having one's words totally MISCONSTRUED, and then a wrong conclusion drawn. I promise to be more empathic with others in my life henceforth.

Real matter: With every fibre in me, I hate and condemn CHILD LABOUR. It's a breach of child rights. But our ward's case ( using the more dignify in word) isn't child labour. She's doesn't receive any PAY, neither do our parents. She attends one of the best schools in my area in PH; eats exactly what we all eat; goes to bed we all do; enjoys all the rights and privileges our kids do enjoy. We intend she grows up with us, and finish our University education from our home. Patience is a daughter to us. Her mum comes visiting almost every month. .....

I think a ward attending a school worth 45K every term is pretty well treated.

So, I really mean well for her. I watch and read news about Child labour. And I give my soprano voice against it.....

With these few lines of mine, I should be able to convince the nobles and open-minded that our daughter ISNT a househelp in the sense we all think.

Shalom, and God bless you all.......Kudos to my RCCG folks. Don't give up the fast; get the lamp burning; let love reign.

Aisha2,One thing I like you and a few other Nlanders for, is that you don't shift grounds when it comes to something you know and believe in, most people come here and scream how we shouldn't judge cases like this and all, when the writers already judged themselves, talking about how one can have a child living with him, called a maid, and still treat her the same way they treat their kids, on which planet?

You can send a child to the best schools, eat the best food bla bla bla but so long as you expect that child to pay for it with house chores, that you don't send your own kids on, then you don't treat her like your child, so let's call a spade a spade.

I know we'd get called holier than thou and pretentious people but I really do understand how you feel and why you are so passionate about this, I have seen people being maltreated, so it's a very serious issue, you don't call someone you see as a daughter your house-help, nuff said.

pickabeau1:



dein77

Of course. What's the need for a maid if my wife isn't working?

dein77:
Good morning, my good people.

As I type, I'm still in the office; just concluded my night duty.
Around 1157pm, late last night, I received an urgent and somehow troubling call from my wife.

meaning she got scared and probably over reacted. For her to call you in that sort of urgency, she probably displayed more in the presence of that 11yr old. She may have even question the girl harshly.
I'm not reaching. I know what it means to pick up the phone and call someone who's working night duty in a sense of urgency. Your wife probably freaked out on that poor child.

He said, she was awakened to consciousness by the loud shout from our son; our first child. Frantically, she rushed down to their room, and grabbed him, and pampered him. She said his bladder was full, and wanted to use the toilet.

But the shocking thing was that, she didn't meet our house help, an 11-year old in their room. She became troubled and headed straight to the sitting room, where she found her standing alone in the dark sitting room. He looked shocked and confused as my wife quietly sneaked into the parlour and put on the light.
This singular event has created some confusion in the house.

What was she doing alone in the dark? At that odd hour?

She told my wife she had gone to use the toilet. But why would she stand in the dark, all alone, and unconcerned with the scream from our son?

for some reason this comment reads as though you guys suspect your baby crying to the girl standing in the sitting room alone in the dark. It also means(literally) that since she wasn't attending to your crying baby at the moment she must be aware of why the baby was crying and worst of all showed no empathy.
Your baby was crying from the pain of a full bladder maybe: did she think of that?

Why was you wife sneaking around the house? Her own house? Did she suspect armed robbers to have broken in? That's the only reason I think why one will sneak around their own house unless of course she's suspecting foul play. And she did suspect foul play. It clouded her judgment in a way that she didn't realize sneaking around soundlessly and then bearing on the child suddenly and turning on the lights would shock the little girl especially if she was still in a state of sleep. It was the same paranoia that led her to start calling you frantically and whipping up your own fears. I'm a woman. I don't have a child but I know women tend to be over protective of their babies. Nothing wrong with that as long as the child of the next person around you doesn't suffer for it.

She was employed to assist us in the home.

And this here is the crux of the matter. You needed assistance and you sought it in an 11yr old. She's not there primarily because you saw her in need and took her in to assist her. You took her in to assist you. Simple as ABC
And it is wrong as feck. Don't try to sugar coat it.
She's in your employ. And her school fee is payment for assisting you in the house.

Brethren, I'm a little bothered. A little troubled. My kids are very important to us, and their safety must be ensured at all times.

What should I do when I get him? Am I being fearful? What should I do?

Please, your inputs are welcome.

Thanks, and Shalom.

Yea your kids are important to you as they should be. I hope you realize this one is important to her parents too.(or maybe she's not. I blame them for lending a small child like her out)

If you think your househelp poses some sort of danger to your kids as you've stated here in your 'their safety must be ensured at all times' line, then send her back to her parents. If you think there is some form of danger in having her around,doesn't that negate the 'patience is my daughter too' line that you just remembered now to save face?

What should you do to her? Send her to mountain on fire for deliverance. There I've said what you wanted to hear when you created this thread .

I hope you don't see yourself as a victim because of the harsh criticism on this thread. And pls help dissuade your wife of her mindset that is causing all this wahala at the moment.

God bless you.

aisha2:


Oga, I don't have any esteem issues. What is wrong is wrong no amount of sugar coating or word adjustment can change that. You can have her in a good school while she is staying with her parents if you really want ro help.
Bill Gates has over 200000 African children in good schools yet they don't stay in his house and work for him and this is someone who says he doesn't believe in God how much more we who are supposed to be the light of the earth only helping because we want something in return.

Legally it is wrong.

I am passionate because every child deserves a childhood, every child deserves to go through childhood issues in peace and love guided by parents.every child should have the right to do childlike things without it being misinterpreted as witchcraft. We as Christains salt of the earth, light of the world need not take advantage of the kids whose parents have challenges.

Last Christmas, me and a few Nairalanders gathered our widows might here and gave some small things to single mothers to help out their babies, none of us asked for anything in return, we could have asked instead for their kids to come so we can " help" and make them work for the " help", that wouldn't be true religion. Giving and helping those in need is lending to God, God gave us what we have so we can share with others and not so we can take advantage of others in tight situations. The kids are not to be blamed if their parents failed to plan na.

Long and short, get an adult to help you out, work your schedule so you can help your wife and will require limited help from a maid. Get an adult maid, sign a contract and give human working hours. Being a maid is a job like any other, its a job like mine, let there be opening and closing hours

A maid is a maid, a profession one should be proud of, a profession an adult goes into and should be proud that she is working honestly to put food on the table. It doesn't need to be undignified, a maid is an employee and not a sister, daughter or any of the colouration. I am not my bosses daughter or sister, my maid is not my sister, she works and proudly earns her pay, if I violate terms of our contract she can challenge me and vice versa

I'm not Bill Gates; I do the little I can, where I am, and in the way I can....

My maid's mother sees me as someone that's really helpful for both her daughter and herself. Una just dey talk here.

This matter has been successfully handled. My maid is happy.

Both Kudos to Aisha2 for your passion against child labour and other child right abuses. Unfortunately, you're talking to the wrong person as far as child treatment is concerned.

dein77:


Of course. What's the need for a maid if my wife isn't working?

Not sure I get your answer

I asked if you have a maid helping you or your wife with the children aside this 11 year old kid

pickabeau1:


Not sure I get your answer

I asked if you have a maid helping you or your wife with the children aside this 11 year old kid

No . pick'

Now, What do you have to say?

dein77:
For all intents and purposes, I'm grateful for all your comments concerning this matter. This matter is considered dead in my mind. I didn't even raise it when I got home this morning. Following popular comments, I want to believe she was sleepwalking, and whatever that happened was just a mere coincidence. Nothing more.

However, I also have learned some lessons from this thread today. Brutal lessons. One is that, especially on a faceless forum as this, most people form opinions about us solely on our WORDS. Once we type them, they are gone out, and no amount of modifications can alter the initial opinions held my audience.

Another is the fact that most people enjoy selfish criticism than asking for more details from a poster so as to make informed decisions. That's life. Despite all the efforts I made to clarify my position, most people still continued the bashing.....probably it concealed their own esteem issues...people are deeply complex. Aisha2 mouth na fire......

Kudos to those who, while making their observations, we're still able to see my point of view. Thanks for all the objective ones. Una do well.

Also, I learned even ladies do BULLY guys. I was literally bullied, insulted and disrespected today mostly my ladies. ..well, they are a more detailed folks. .Una get mouth ehhh! !

Lastly, I discovered nothing can be more painful and frustrating than having one's words totally MISCONSTRUED, and then a wrong conclusion drawn. I promise to be more empathic with others in my life henceforth.

Real matter: With every fibre in me, I hate and condemn CHILD LABOUR. It's a breach of child rights. But our ward's case ( using the more dignify in word) isn't child labour. She's doesn't receive any PAY, neither do our parents. She attends one of the best schools in my area in PH; eats exactly what we all eat; goes to bed we all do; enjoys all the rights and privileges our kids do enjoy. We intend she grows up with us, and finish our University education from our home. Patience is a daughter to us. Her mum comes visiting almost every month. .....

I think a ward attending a school worth 45K every term is pretty well treated.

So, I really mean well for her. I watch and read news about Child labour. And I give my soprano voice against it.....

With these few lines of mine, I should be able to convince the nobles and open-minded that our daughter ISNT a househelp in the sense we all think.

Shalom, and God bless you all.......Kudos to my RCCG folks. Don't give up the fast; get the lamp burning; let love reign.

you are a very patient man....
To think you could pick some lesson from all the negative criticism here is throughly amazing.God bless you.

@poster I will employ you to disregard your wife choice of help and hire an older help. This just doesn't speak well of you however you try to spin it.

It is well.