I think being married for over a decade +, qualifies me as an elder to give some words of advice to my juniors concerning eye service
1. Start the race as you intend to finish. If you are lazy like me let Oga know with style from the beginning. Don't go rushing to help him cook, wash his clothes and sweep his house when you would rather be in the living room watching telemundo. This one I say from experience, I made the 'mistake' of always sweeping my room myself and making the bed myself now so many years later I have to get up every morning pick a broom and start sweeping the floor. If I leave the house first when I get back I have to go make the bed because nobody else is allowed to do so . Fortunately for me the first day I tried pounding yam Oga told me to not to that he didn't want me to get muscles, If not I would still be pounding yam every other day till now.

2. Retain your own interests. For instance if you don't like football and prefer telemundo, let him know. Don't let him believe you love Messi, Xavi, Andreas Iniesta(Barca forever) when you start dating and wonder why 5 years down the line he doesn't understand when you want to watch Lola instead of the Barca versus Chelsea game. Let him know so he can invest in dual view TV as part of your prenuptial agreement.

3. If you like money like me let him know from the beginning. In fact the first words I asked my sister in law to teach me in their language was money. Any Bini person can translate my crude Biin 'Re Gho me'. Don't pretend you don't like money then later start complaining that your bobo is stingy. I am not saying you should turn him to an ATM before you marry him. If bobo says let's go to Sherston for buffet and you say I can manage Iya Ibeta's amala so he thinks you are prudent, when you marry and he takes you only to amala joints or Mr Biggs don't complain oh.

4. In laws that is the tricky one; you definitely need some level of eye service here but not too much. Make sure it is the one you can continue for ever sha.No need dressing like Mary Amaka any time you go to visit Mama then after the wedding bring out your Beyonce human hair. Mama can see right through your act and can make your life miserable if she thinks you deceived her.

5 Love- you can't fake it! If you can't stand the guy, his habits or his family or his friends don't even enter.There is no pretence or eye service in this area that can ever help you. If you hate the fact that he smokes, is a womaniser, party going freak, run as far as your legs will carry you. He won't change, drop his family for you or change his friends after marriage. You will just become bitter and hate your life.I married the most undomesticated man I can think of but I knew before I married him and was ready to accept it. So now I know that when I travel and come home I will first wash the dirty dishes he used while I was gone, wash the grimey bathtub before I can take a bath, change the sheets even if I am dead tired, that is after I heave the mountain of used clothes off my side of the bed. He didn't pretend and I accepted it then so it's my cross I bear it.

So my sisters marriage can be fun with the right person especially if you are the right person for him.

Lol "odomwen nuwa laho righo men indeed" nice advice especially the love part. I winder why some ladies feign love when I. the actual sense its the guys pocket they care all about and later they start complaining or worse still engage in extra marital affairs. but I just pray the ladies heed your advice

Very Nice advice coming from a married woman.

Sophyrocks:
Very Nice advice coming from a married woman.

sophy come and gimme your eyes. Is sooooo beaureefool including the way you highlighted your eye brows shaiiiiii

SAMBARRY:
sophy come and gimme your eyes. Is sooooo beaureefool including the way you highlighted your eye brows shaiiiiii

Hehehehehehhe. SAMBARRY!! oya come lemme shapen your eyes with knife like my own.

You are making me blush. Funny enough i have scanty eyebrows but i line them up.

Sophyrocks:


Hehehehehehhe. SAMBARRY!! oya come lemme shapen your eyes with knife like my own.

You are making me blush. Funny enough i have scanty eyebrows but i line them up.

awww no wonder. It looks so natural. No be say you go use red eye pencil begin dey draw orisirisi for eyes. Bet na blade you go use draw my own ke

SAMBARRY:
awww no wonder. It looks so natural. No be say you go use red eye pencil begin dey draw orisirisi for eyes. Bet na blade you go use draw my own ke

Red pencil ke? That one na market woman style for benin. Lol. Na there you go see all manner of artistic brow work for their face with rainbow colours. You are lucky you've got brows na. All you have to do is shapen it. I dnt shapen mine though. I just follow the brows with the pencil when drawing.

Sophyrocks:


Red pencil ke? That one na market woman style for benin. Lol. Na there you go see all manner of artistic brow work for their face with rainbow colours. You are lucky you've got brows na. All you have to do is shapen it. I dnt shapen mine though. I just follow the brows with the pencil when drawing.

I will show you the orisirisi ones wey dey

Let them continue their eye service oh, twisting bending and breaking to fit into someones myopic view of " wife material " instead of marrying their own man who will love them warts and all. I am not saying hold on to bad character oh but just because his ex girlfriend was washing his boxers you decide to join in and wash and iron even if you dont like washing.

The In Law one is where I don't agree with you. That's why so many people are bitter in marriage today and so many in laws are hateful towards the wife. They wont kill you for who you are, be yourself no eye service, if you need eye service then you probably shouldn't be married there. Eye service can never last, be decent and polite but don't go washing mama and his 8 sibblings clothes when you know you hate every minute of it then marry and demand to be called Anty. If you present yourself as a househelp from day 1 then a house help you will be forever in that house any attempt to change to original colour will be resisted.

It's okay to be you oh.
Marriage is too long a commitment to be spent being someone else

SAMBARRY:
I will show you the orisirisi ones wey dey

Hehehehehe. Hilarious!! Horrible! And many women for nigeria here dey paint like this o.

Number 4 is so on point. They will pretend to win their inlaws over and later start crying wolves. I travelled to my husband town for christmas &newyear, and his cousin's wife came too. We are almost age mates and as soon as she came she saw them pounding yam (trust Ondo people) and she went to join them.
The next day as soon as they drop the yam, they started calling her to come and pound the yam with them and she was just grumbling that it was too much of familarity that caused this rubbish.

Amuga:
Number 4 is so on point. They will pretend to win their inlaws over and later start crying wolves. I travelled to my husband town for christmas &newyear, and his cousin's wife came too. We are almost age mates and as soon as she came she saw them pounding yam (trust Ondo people) and she went to join them.
The next day as soon as they drop the yam, they started calling her to come and pound the yam with them and she was just grumbling that it was too much of familarity that caused this rubbish.

Yam pounding duties don get her be that oh. Let her be ready when she marry na only she go pound the whole yam.

I tell young ladies, don't make yourself a compound wife oh except you are ready to be one all your life. If a man wants to marry a househelp for his whole compound and you don't see yourself fitting into that box better don't start oh. Because when you marry and mama moves in with two sisters and they spend all day watching African magic and ordering you about dont complain as na wetin you sign be that.

Refreshing write up. The root cause of chicks pretending is that marriage is seen as a do or die affair so females oftentimes have to assume roles to get the prize of a Nigerian husband and it's just absurd. Pretending u like to eat something when u don't is plain ridiculous or that I don't fix my nails just to impress someone. So how long will the drama last

Don't know if anyone has watched Basketmouth Blind dates series n it's just so funny n sad (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCJqrHDbNhk) . 1st date was an off whitey, second was a black American. Both were so crazy n he always ran away but for the 3rd date, he met this Nig girl who said she loves to iron, go to church etc n in her mind was like God I've seen this maga that'll pay my bills.

Recently, I greeted a lady in her late 30s but she's unmarried n the person I was with said u should greet her in a certain way n don't call her madam n I asked Y. The answer was cos she's not married. If this lady now finds a lone suitor, I guess we can't judge her if she pretends just to get married. The subtle discrimination of unmarried females and the subsequent desperation is to blame IMHO

Proxy001:
Lol "odomwen nuwa laho righo men indeed" nice advice especially the love part. I winder why some ladies feign love when I. the actual sense its the guys pocket they care all about and later they start complaining or worse still engage in extra marital affairs. but I just pray the ladies heed your advice

Thank you bros for the correct spelling, let me quickly send my husband a text message, seeing it written in Bini may increase my take away

Sophyrocks:


Hehehehehe. Hilarious!! Horrible! And many women for nigeria here dey paint like this o.

ehen na.na their role models be that

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allycat:

Thank you bros for the correct spelling, let me quickly send my husband a text message, seeing it written in Bini may increase my take away

Lol... let's hope it does

Eye service is not exclusively ladies only.

Men,infact, more than half of d guys r experts in eye service.

That moment when u visit d gal, family and u start behaving like dangote.
"Ome ego 1"

And as d family don see u as guy who is fully loaded, na so marriage list go begin increase for their mind.
Still with eye service, u did everything and more.
When wifey born and mama wan come, instead of u to tell wifey u don't hv money to host, u invite mama urself. And Bc u started d eye service yrs ago, that is how u will continue. Some will tell wifey to help cover up.
Eye service has made some men to steal.
Infact, it's in naija blood.

Not married yet, scribble on a piece of paper cos I'm gonna need ut someday.

Eye service is a No No biko.

Nice and funny one @OP

@OP:

Very nice and insightful tread

I am yet to understand why people do eye service in courtship or a marriage that is supposed to last forever...

Eye Service is encouraged in Nigeria. Before I got hitched, I kept complaining to my male friends why I wasn't getting dates. They all advised me to "not sound so smart, dress sexier, join a pentecostal church and join one of their depts to become more social, stop talking about my really weird-for-Nigeria tastes etc". I was confused, I wasn't a party girl or anything yet they kept encouraging all sorts of Hypocrisy on my part. So I gave it a try and omo, it worked. Luckily for me, I couldn't keep it up and went back to liking all the stuff I liked. And because of those weird-for-Nigeria tastes, I got married to someone who also had weird-for-Nigeria tastes. So eye-service starts in dating and then causes wahala in marriage.

The first time hubby saw me industriously sweeping his kitchen (whilst dating) he said in his mind he hissed and wondered who I was doing eye-service for Now he knows I'm better at making Egusi soup, washing the bath tub and cleaning the cooker, I know he can cook Ogbono soup better, sweep and sort out the laundry. He told me not to be kneeling down too much for MIL and I told him to touch knee for Maman when he sees my mum.

We cool

Nice thread.

My friend ex left her and married someone else, I told this babe stop going to the mom's place and stop playing wife when you are not yet wife!! She won't hear....the guy left her for someone else who can't even do half of the work she does in his place.

remsonik:
Nice thread.

My friend ex left her and married someone else, I told this babe stop going to the mom's place and stop playing wife when you are not yet wife!! She won't hear....the guy left her for someone else who can't even do half of the work she does in his place.

Is it that one or the one who leaves you after learning to make his local soup and marries a lady who swears she will never enter the kitchen and he hires a cook for her lol

aisha2:


Is it that one or the one who leaves you after learning to make his local soup and marries a lady who swears she will never enter the kitchen and he hires a cook for her lol

Men are wicked o. I wish there was a manual to understanding them.

remsonik:

Men are wicked o. I wish there was a manual to understanding them.

Men are not wicked oh, its us who due to ignorance sell our selves short.

Good advice.

aisha2:


Is it that one or the one who leaves you after learning to make his local soup and marries a lady who swears she will never enter the kitchen and he hires a cook for her lol

That palaver of local soup get a see be. I remember the first and last time I tried to make starch and Owho, first the starch was so watery Oga had to use spoon to eat it, meanwhile my hand was paining me from turning the thing. after that I nicely informed him that starch was a special treat he would only enjoy when he went to visit his mother. The Owho wasn't to bad I've become an expert there but cook t rarely, I can't shake the feeling that we are eating soap(potash and oil)

allycat:


That palaver of local soup get a see be. I remember the first and last time I tried to make starch and Owho, first the starch was so watery Oga had to use spoon to eat it, meanwhile my hand was paining me from turning the thing. after that I nicely informed him that starch was a special treat he would only enjoy when he went to visit his mother. The Owho wasn't to bad I've become an expert there but cook t rarely, I can't shake the feeling that we are eating soap(potash and oil)

At least you were making it for your husband. Like Babymama said some girls go don turn all Nigerian girl learning all different soups while dating. Wash, clean, scrub wash boxers, wash mamas clothes etc. Chai