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Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by sakalisis(m): 9:49pm On Jan 16, 2015
bennyrazz:
no offense pls grin why are you calling your potential boss lazy?


lol, from his story nao but he gat the resources and am a good resource manager
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 9:59pm On Jan 16, 2015
What effrontery!!!


Your wife is a wicked ungrateful user and your son is in danger. She is either a certified witch or has serious mental health problem.

And I totally agree with Aisha2, crackhaus and Dinachi that you are passing through serious domestic abuse in her hands so you need to put your foot down for your health's and your son's welfare.

Give her a month's notice and move out of your current money-guzzling place of residence to where you originally intended, if she refuses to budge, let her know you intend to involve the family about trial separation. That should hopefully jolt her back to her rightful senses!

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Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 10:03pm On Jan 16, 2015
Busybody2:


What effrontery!!!


Your wife is a wicked ungrateful user and your son is in danger. She is either a certified witch or has serious mental health problem.

And I totally agree with Aisha2 and Dinachi that you are passing through serious domestic abuse in her hands so you need to put your foot down for your health's and your son's welfare.

Give her a month's notice and move out of your current money-guzzling place of residence to where you originally intended, if she refuses to budge, let her know you intend to involve the family about trial separation. That should hopefully jolt her back to her rightful senses!


Sadly the poster seems too soft and the wife knows it oh. See how he easily ran off after the first set of posters attacked him
He is too nice and laid back and people who are mean will take advantage of it.

Not everyone is strong, not every man can scream and shout sadly we only pity women who are abused when men face worse situations we expect them to shake it off and move on.

She is so vile and mean, what has the poor son done?

4 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 10:04pm On Jan 16, 2015
LordReed:


I tire. The whole situation is just a mess. How do people allow themselves wallow in untenable situations like this?

I can't even deal, when men go through hard times we seem merciless

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 10:12pm On Jan 16, 2015
cococandy:

He said it himself. That he has not interest in doing anything.
So he lays on the couch all day?
Where's he providing from?
Family handout from mommy?
Lack of ambitions means what it means. No foresight, no plans, no future put into consideration.

She shoots down and rubbishes ALL his business ideas and talks him out of it and always discourages ALL his suggestions.


cococandy:


If mommy dies tomorrow,that will be the end of it all seeing as he can't even sell okrika to save his life.


He even tried setting up businesses with his Mum, wifey gets upset, he tries to set up business with his siblings, she gets mad, he tries to invest in land and properties with his Mum and Siblings, she goes ballistic, what does she want him to do?!!


cococandy:


He had 20million to start up a business,what did he do? Gave it to his wife most likely because he had no interest in working to make profit from the money. The rest of the 10million he paid debts(why was he in debt since he's from a rich family) probably because he'd rather borrow than make profit from what he has.

He gave her more than half, gave his mum and siblings a pittance, gave wifey's Dad as payment for wifey's debt oh, and used the rest to pay the bills of the mansion in a posh area that wifey insisted they moved to!!! He wanted to move to a reasonable area with modest bills, wifey refused!!! Now she mocks him that they live in a house his mummy built. This woman is pure evil and will soon bleed this man dry and make him penniless.



cococandy:



He could have made it a family business and put down his feet to demand accountability from wife but he just let her get away with doing whatever she wanted with the profits.

I don't want to blame him but it is what it is.
He has opportunity to do anything he wants to do but won't because his wife doesn't approve.

Come on undecided

This doesn't excuse his wife's behavior anyway before someone will get me wrong.


By i'd rather he does something with his life instead of blaming his wife.



He is undergoing emotional domestic violence from this evil wench of a wife, and because its usually the other way round with the woman at the receiving end, it will be hard for him to cry out for help without getting mocked as a wimp, hence reason for his helplessness...
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 10:16pm On Jan 16, 2015
aisha2:


Sadly the poster seems too soft and the wife knows it oh. See how he easily ran off after the first set of posters attacked him
He is too nice and laid back and people who are mean will take advantage of it.

Not everyone is strong, not every man can scream and shout sadly we only pity women who are abused when men face worse situations we expect them to shake it off and move on.

She is so vile and mean, what has the poor son done?


I saw that too, sometimes being too nice is not a good trait because people would abuse the privilege and call one a mugu on top.

Yeah you are right, men have it worse with domestic violence because they have no obvious place to turn to for help and have to internalise their pain most of the time, so they can keep up the status quo of being "seen" as a man...this is a sad case.

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 10:17pm On Jan 16, 2015
Busybody2:


She shoots down and rubbishes ALL his business ideas and talks him out of it and always discourages ALL his suggestions.





He even tried setting up businesses with his Mum, wifey gets upset, he tries to set up business with his siblings, she gets mad, he tries to invest in land and properties with his Mum and Siblings, she goes ballistic, what does she want him to do?!!




He gave her more than half, gave his mum and siblings a pittance, gave wifey's Dad as payment for wifey's debt oh, and used the rest to pay the bills of the mansion in a posh area that wifey insisted they moved to!!! He wanted to move to a reasonable area with modest bills, wifey refused!!! This woman is pure evil.






He is undergoing emotional domestic violence from this evil wench of a wife, and because its usually the other way round with the woman at the receiving end, it will be hard for him to cry out for help without getting mocked as a wimp, hence reason for his helplessness...

Thanks I thought I was the only one reading this clearly oh. He doesn't even rent, he owns the house they live in yet she will abuse him that its his mothers house.

How does one progress while living with such a witch

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 10:26pm On Jan 16, 2015
aisha2:


Thanks I thought I was the only one reading this clearly oh. He doesn't even rent, he owns the house they live in yet she will abuse him that its his mothers house.

How does one progress while living with such a witch

This wifey is using jazz or why tell her husband to leave the house when they fight and when he reminds her it's his house, she mocks him that its his Mum's house...

She is on a course to milk this guy dry and render him broke and then call in the divorce lawyers to sue his parents' estate for child support and spousal support...This wifey does not seem like one that can wait for her MIL to die before inheriting everything!!

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 10:30pm On Jan 16, 2015
Busybody2:


This wifey is using jazz or why tell her husband to leave the house when they fight and when he reminds her it's his house, she mocks him that its his Mum's house...

She is on a course to milk this guy dry and render him broke and then call in the divorce lawyers to sue his parents' estate for child support and spousal support...This wifey does not seem like one that can wait for her MIL to die before inheriting everything!!



True sadly he fell into the wrong hands. Mean mean bad abusive woman, he needs time away from her toxic self

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by bennyrazz: 10:31pm On Jan 16, 2015
sakalisis:



lol, from his story nao but he gat the resources and am a good resource manager

with his wife remote controlling the destiny of this great man? will your proposal even be possible?

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by baby124: 10:39pm On Jan 16, 2015
op, pls give us examples of this so called excellent ideas. Being that you have a fantasy view of how the world works, I can only imagine what these excellent ideas are Lmao. I will really like to know. Not supporting your wife but I know your type. You operate on pity when you are about to be exposed, and find someone to blame instead of buckling down and getting busy. I doubt if your ideas were rational, seeing as you yourself have said you have no motivation or need to engage your mind. How about you ask your wife for business ideas she thinks are profitable and then tell her to lay out a plan on the one you feel you can do. Please be careful how you invest in business ventures so you don't go and lose all your money to scammers out there.

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Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 10:39pm On Jan 16, 2015
What she really is saying is;

I am so jealous that you dont have to work hard to be comfortable
I dont like the fact that I cant boast to my friends that this is what you do for a living
I am scared that becasue you dont leave home to a business or work, you will have time to chase girls around

Wont surpise me if someone asks this woman what exactly she wants her hubby to do, she will say something really silly
These kinds of women are the worst to live with because they dont think logically

@poster my only concern is if you are selling property to feed and pay bills, when you run out of propertys to sell, how will you survive.
Also your late dad left something for you; so think about what you to will leave your kids

I understand that not everyone needs megabucks or want to live the highlife, however pick a business to do and invest your money wisely wherer or not she agrees with you or supports you. .. it will be her loss at the end of the day, if outsiders become closer to you and know whats up more then her your wife. You do what you have to do.

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by luvablesam(m): 10:59pm On Jan 16, 2015
Shocking how some myopic people think....@OP,Its not ur fault that her parents were/are not as well to do as ur Dad was....Or would u have said NO to an inheritance ur hardworking late Dad left u cos Some Woman would refer to u as Lazy?....My advice is simple, If She isn't comfortable with you sitting down and earning income from ur late Dads Source, tell her to ask for a divorce,or better still you ask for a divorce... at least you gave her 10million to start something. if not for you she may never have come across such an amount in her life...

Think of a thing you like doing and start a buiz to that effect,if she doesn't like it she can as well move on(after all she is now rich)..

Am not shocked at some earlier comments from the the first page of this thread. Its typical of gold diggers and plebs to think alike.

Weldone @ aisha2 @ OP, be the Man for once and show her your tough side without Remorse please.

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 11:09pm On Jan 16, 2015
chaircover:
What she really is saying is;

I am so jealous that you dont have to work hard to be comfortable
I dont like the fact that I cant boast to my friends that this is what you do for a living
I am scared that becasue you dont leave home to a business or work, you will have time to chase girls around

Wont surpise me if someone asks this woman what exactly she wants her hubby to do, she will say something really silly
These kinds of women are the worst to live with because they dont think logically

@poster my only concern is if you are selling property to feed and pay bills, when you run out of propertys to sell, how will you survive.
Also your late dad left something for you; so think about what you to will leave your kids

I understand that not everyone needs megabucks or want to live the highlife, however pick a business to do and invest your money wisely wherer or not she agrees with you or supports you. .. it will be her loss at the end of the day, if outsiders become closer to you and know whats up more then her your wife. You do what you have to do.


At bolded above, no need to even ask her anything, after rubbishing ALL her husband's suggestion, why didn't she recommend only just one of the 3 businesses she successfully started And why didn't she invite her husband on board at least one business

Kaboninc that said all her "safe-keeping" action looks like that of someone that is planning to dump her husband soon, is not far from the truth!!!

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by bukatyne(f): 11:10pm On Jan 16, 2015
pickabeau1:
cococandy

what does lack of ambition mean

This man is a good provider yet he lacks ambition


Providing is on one end, ambitions is on another.

Not All men have ambitions even If they provide

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Amhappy(f): 11:11pm On Jan 16, 2015
If op want to separate from his wife because of this fine but i know the solution to his problem does not lie in that. Your wife is abusive but you can handle that inhouse. Mrniceguy i want to know if you want to be one of those men from a place in Niger delta. They depend only on funds from the family property which are collectively owned. They sell properties and use the money to buy nice cars and throw parties. It will not be long before the show down for sharing of property will begin. When they collect their portion,they will continue selling until they have none left. They constanly harrassed their tenants with non-existent levies to keep up the life style. Finally they move my grace to grass,their kids start from the scratch. If you dont intend to be like that then put your wife in her place, use what you have and the sky is your starting point.

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by pickabeau1: 11:12pm On Jan 16, 2015
bukatyne:


Providing is on one end, ambitions is on another.

Not All men have ambitions even If they provide

What does ambition mean
How do you say a man has no ambition..

Because he does not hustle n bustle
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by bukatyne(f): 11:25pm On Jan 16, 2015
@OP:

You have What an average Nigerian doesn't have available: Capital.

You know your wife is not supportive and seeK's to pull you down so I do not expect you to pay her mind anymore.

Just see it that her 10yr terror reign has ended.

That said, sit around and think of What you really want to do or where you really want to be. You have the luxury of traveling round the world to see How it is done (If it is not something common here) and do it.

Your wife is greedy and doesn't take account of previous help. Use that as a learning curve.

It is well

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by bukatyne(f): 11:32pm On Jan 16, 2015
pickabeau1:


What does ambition mean
How do you say a man has no ambition..

Because he does not hustle n bustle

Imagine Mr. A and Mr. B who entered an org at graduate trainee/entry level.

A aspires to be a CFO and does certifications, attend seminars, read wide, put his best in his job and always seek to improve on his deliverables

B is content with his level and drift from level to level as tbe compamy deems fit.

Both will be able to provide for their families.

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by pickabeau1: 11:34pm On Jan 16, 2015
bukatyne:


Imagine Mr. A and Mr. B who entered an org at graduate trainee/entry level.

A aspires to be a CFO and does certifications, attend seminars, read wide, put his best in his job and always seek to improve on his deliverables

B is content with his level and drift from level to level as tbe compamy deems fit.

Both will be able to provide for their families.


So does that mean A will become CFO?

What if B ambition is to provide for his family and be a dancer or dramatist

Why judge another by your own standards

I blame our economy hat has led to monetisation of values and our quest for certificates

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by bukatyne(f): 11:39pm On Jan 16, 2015
pickabeau1:



So does that mean A will become CFO?

What if B ambition is to provide for his family and be a dancer or dramatist

Why judge another by your own standards

I blame our economy hat has led to monetisation of values and our quest for certificates


This is All you got from my post?

Good night.
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by cococandy(f): 11:40pm On Jan 16, 2015
Agreed.

So what else can he except defy her, stop waiting for her to decide for him what to do and take his future into his own hands?

Evil wenchy madam is not here to hear all the blame being heaped on her.

Busybody2:


She shoots down and rubbishes ALL his business ideas and talks him out of it and always discourages ALL his suggestions.





He even tried setting up businesses with his Mum, wifey gets upset, he tries to set up business with his siblings, she gets mad, he tries to invest in land and properties with his Mum and Siblings, she goes ballistic, what does she want him to do?!!




He gave her more than half, gave his mum and siblings a pittance, gave wifey's Dad as payment for wifey's debt oh, and used the rest to pay the bills of the mansion in a posh area that wifey insisted they moved to!!! He wanted to move to a reasonable area with modest bills, wifey refused!!! Now she mocks him that they live in a house his mummy built. This woman is pure evil and will soon bleed this man dry and make him penniless.






He is undergoing emotional domestic violence from this evil wench of a wife, and because its usually the other way round with the woman at the receiving end, it will be hard for him to cry out for help without getting mocked as a wimp, hence reason for his helplessness...

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 11:44pm On Jan 16, 2015
Hmmm so a man is only as good as a walking atm machine. He doesn't fit into that role we are free to abuse the heck out of him and blame him for the abuse too.
I remember the one who chopped off her husbands peni-s because she was feeding him.

Anyway. Make I sleep we learn everyday
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by pickabeau1: 11:45pm On Jan 16, 2015
bukatyne:


This is All you got from my post?

Good night.

Until you realise that ambition is subjective, you never start

Our President was not an ambitious man yet he is where he is
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by sakalisis(m): 11:53pm On Jan 16, 2015
bennyrazz:


with his wife remote controlling the destiny of this great man? will your proposal even be possible?


i will do a rain work in a mist condition so i will be almost invincible yet productive wink
bennyrazz:


with his wife remote controlling the destiny of this great man? will your proposal even be possible?


i will do a rain work in a mist condition so i will be almost invincible yet productive
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 12:01am On Jan 17, 2015
cococandy:
Agreed.

So what else can he except defy her, stop waiting for her to decide for him what to do and take his future into his own hands?

Evil wenchy madam is not here to hear all the blame being heaped on her.



He clearly needs professional help from that first paragraph of his OP...

In Africa it might be deemed spiritual/treated spiritually, in the West he will be seeing a Doctor/Therapist for the Clinical Depression he is currently afflicted with which has affected the chemical imbalance in his brain...He needs a nudge away from that depressive stupor state he is wedged in!
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 12:14am On Jan 17, 2015
MrNiceGuy79:

To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: .

This Cococandy!!!

He is trying so hard to be a man, but has started seeing himself the way wifey sees him as a useless so and so...And somewhere in there, he is still grieving the loss of his Dad...


So peeps are not just solely attacking wifey, but are giving him a two-pronged solution -

(1) reaffirming his question that yes his wifey is a wicked user

(2) advising him to temporarily get him and his son out of that toxic environment.
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by dinachi(m): 12:26am On Jan 17, 2015
Busybody2, you won my most profound respect for calling a spade a spade..Honestly I hardly need to add to what you have said..You are a great woman. Your hubby is indeed truly lucky to have you! My grouse with most female posters here is usually the double standards they apply whenever a man is at the receiving end of domestic abuse and violence...

@ Op file for divorce immediately citing emotional abuse of yourself and your son. If she retraces back her step and you see genuine change then maybe you can reconsider.

Your wife is not supportive and with a woman like that you can only go downhill!

5 Likes

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by cococandy(f): 12:32am On Jan 17, 2015
Ok you suggest separation.

Well I don't think their issues have reached that level but then ultimately it is his choice to make.
Busybody2:


This Cococandy!!!

He is trying so hard to be a man, but has started seeing himself the way wifey sees him as a useless so and so...And somewhere in there, he is still grieving the loss of his Dad...


So peeps are not just solely attacking wifey, but are giving him a two-pronged solution -

(1) reaffirming his question that yes his wifey is a wicked user

(2) advising him to temporarily get him and his son out of that toxic environment.
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Nobody: 12:35am On Jan 17, 2015
Busybody2:


This Cococandy!!!

He is trying so hard to be a man, but has started seeing himself the way wifey sees him as a useless so and so...And somewhere in there, he is still grieving the loss of his Dad...


So peeps are not just solely attacking wifey, but are giving him a two-pronged solution -

(1) reaffirming his question that yes his wifey is a wicked user

(2) advising him to temporarily get him and his son out of that toxic environment.

Sadly we feel he is a man he should snap out of it and start vomiting money as thats all he is good for
He lost his dad, no emotional support, if he clings to his mom or sibblings wahala, he goes to her its wahala, he stays on his own in depression wahala. I doubt most of us read through his post we just saw the part where he hasn't stepped up financially and hung unto that to unleash " you are lazy, get off your bum".
I can't say this enough get out of that toxic relationship before she drowns you, get some help, you can't do that around the noise and abuse
Also you need family at this time, your mom and your sibblings if they are supportive
Don't let that mad woman destroy you

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 12:45am On Jan 17, 2015
dinachi:
Busybody2, you won my most profound respect for calling a spade a spade..Honestly I hardly need to add to what you have said..You are a great woman. Your hubby is indeed truly lucky to have you! My grouse with most female posters here is usually the double standards they apply whenever a man is at the receiving end of domestic abuse and violence...

@ Op file for divorce immediately citing emotional abuse of yourself and your son. If she retraces back her step and you see genuine change then maybe you can reconsider.

Your wife is not supportive and with a woman like that you can only go downhill!


What is good for the goose is good for the gander, so if the man was the evil party I would not mince words either.


But in this case, it's the jaded society that is to blame for the biased viewpoint of ladies these days. Women used to suffer more in the hands of men, so men like the OP are seen as unlucky scapegoats who deserve every evil treatment the wifey dishes out to him even though he is innocent.

And I bet this woman solidarity at all cost is not going away anytime soon so y'all men would just have to buckle up for the ride cheesy
Re: Is My Wife A User?? - Advice Please by cococandy(f): 12:52am On Jan 17, 2015
Busybody2:



What is good for the goose is good for the gander, so if the man was the evil party I would not mince words either.


But in this case, it's the jaded society that is to blame for the biased viewpoint of ladies these days. Women used to suffer more in the hands of men, so men like the OP are seen as unlucky scapegoats who deserve every evil treatment the wifey dishes out to him even though he is innocent.

And I bet this woman solidarity at all cost is not going away anytime soon so y'all men would just have to buckle up for the ride cheesy

Did anybody on this thread say the man deserves the wife's behavior?

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