LMAO

overlord29:
Copied*
Teacher: When crude oil was N119 per barrel, we
buy petrol for N97 per litre
Now that crude oil is N49 per barrel with all other
things being equal, what is the expected price of
petrol per litre?
Jonathan: N87.
Teacher: Pls who awarded PhD to this man who
doesn't know simple arithmetic?
Teacher: buhari what is the answer?
Buhari: sir, the only items that change is price, so
our change formular is;
If N119 changed to N49
Then N97 will CHANGE to N27
Teacher: But they said you don't have certificate?
Buhari: it's a simple arithmetic, even market
woman can solve it.
Teacher: Chai chai..... we need CHANGE

The hard truth, absolutely correct. The chances of Buhari performing when elected is a 50/50 chance, but the likely hood of Jona performing when re-elected is 0% and not performing is 100%. the choice is yours.

if jonathan does not have capacity is it a sick man that will have

1stola:
Ofcoz we know.
I wonder what da fúck is wrong with this Jonatanians ?
Are they kidding me? Today, they are praising their clueless wicked daft father that he reduced petrol price from N97 to N87.
Since the beginning of oil discovery, there has never been
decrease in the price we sell. Only in this unfortunate man's
time and you're here praising this bastard father of yours.
Crude oil price has reduced from about 120 dollars to 55 dollars
per barrel globally. That is about 60% reduction.
Let me explain simply to this silly TANoids
It means that if we buy petrol N100 before, we are supposed to
be buying it N40 now!
Tell me how removing N10 from it now a great achievement.
PETROL WAS N65 as at the time he got there. He meanly
increased it to N180 when he removed subsidy and after so
many protests, he reduced it to N97!
How has he reduced it now? From N65 to N87 abi?
Some dolts said posterity will not forget him coz his name is now among the presidents that reduced fuel price.
How will posterity not forget him?
Posterity will NEVER forgive him!
Jonádaft is the most wicked and corrupt bastard president to
ever unfortunately rule Nigeria. He is not different from
Nebukadnesari in the in the bible.
HE WILL DEFINITELY LOSE THIS NEXT ELECTION take it or leave
it.
Satistics made us know that Nigerians are about 50% Muslim
and 50% Christians.
In 2011, many Muslims I know voted for GeJ. I would have vote
for him too if i was in the country. This time around, Most
people will not vote for him coz HE IS A FAILURE and a
disappointment. Now, at least 90% Muslims will vote for GMB
and I know at least, 15% christains will also vote for him which
totals about 60% of all votes for him. Now tell me how this
wicked clueless goat will not be sent to his village by may 29,
2015.
.
.
GMB all the way jor!
He may not be the best candidate but surely better option to GEJ.

infact Ur percent of xtians voting for buhari is small....cos every1 arnd me,I hav brought to light y jona mustn't rule us again

Mr Keyamo is that all you can say? i challenge you yo tell me one good thing jona is capable of doing. corruption is nt stealing

Suljosh:
I feel sorry for people like you. You know why? Because you don't have a mind of your own. You're just like a donkey, anywhere they push you, you go such I pity.

You actually insult a donkey with this comparison. This is a worse case!

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A GEJ fan asked any one who doesn't like GEJ's govt to go and hug a
transformer, I gladly went looking for
one. After 20 minutes walk, I saw one 33KVA transformer worthy of hugging.
With a smile, I hugged it. The hug lasted for 17 hours. Now here I am on
Facebook (after I used a generator to charge my phone). I no gree die (cos
light no gree come d transformer, as expected. Good mrn

Timoleon:



how does your comments take falsify his statements?

Are you saying you don't understand? The false in that his statement is that he is a rejectee because he is nothing and useless. So, how then a man rejected turn round and accussed another? How true do you think those accusaions are when he does know the left from right, because a rejectee is out of use, abandoned person(s) things etc. Am sure you are clear with this?

Why the situation will never change regardless of whether Jonathan Loses or Wins
1: Elites will typically do as they have done since the past 60 years - Sit on the Fence and Reap Abundantly from the opportunities presented by our Leaders intransigence.
2: Incompetent People will ascend to positions of Leadership and take donkey years to fix a problem whose solution is already known, tried and tested. e.g double-taxation, Agriculture, Electricity.. it is not a new problem and solutions abound. why are we still here since 1985..
3: Desperately poor will always be used as convenient pawns in the race to embezzle Nigeria dry.. riots, propaganda, religious and ethnic crisis

Orikinla:


ONLY A RE-TARDED IDIOT "MOFO" WILL SAY A MAN OF 72 CANNOT LEAD THE NATION BUILDING OF A NEW NIGERIA.
IMAGINE SAYING THAT PASTOR ENOCH ADEJARE ADEBOYE, THE GENERAL OVERSEER OF THE LARGEST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH CANNOT LEAD THE CHURCH AT SAME AGE OF 72 WITH BUHARI.

MAY GO RENDER USELESS WHOEVER IS MOCKING BUHARI FOR BEING BRAVE ENOUGH AT 72 TO OFFER TO LEAD NIGERIA WHEN THE MOCKER AND SCOFFER GETS TO AGE 72. AMEN.

Afterall, a man of 72 years old is still the head of his family but, can not be the head of other familes.

Nicklaus:
. Now someone is going to define corruption to me when this kind of lawyers exist. Someone who's expected to advocate for leniency is flipping switch to a brutal option, how competent! If I am to advice this kegamo I ll say the words of the faithful makes no easy punch through let alone that of a hypocrite. If he can do this to the govt that retained him. Any other govt is just a house of despair for him.

So because the govt retained him to prosecute a case, he should now turn a blind eye to corruption and mismanagement of the country's economy?

Can you listen to yourself?

ochibaoda:
The hard truth, absolutely correct. The chances of Buhari performing when elected is a 50/50 chance, but the likely hood of Jona performing when re-elected is 0% and not performing is 100%. the choice is yours.

hmmm

angelsing:
The price cudn't have gone up because they are still subsidising fuel..That said, can u explain like the guy did?..You just called him an ignorance without explaining better.

It cannot go up but it can come down

You the hypocrisy.

eaglechild:
Trash

A coupist dictator who cut short democracy is suddenly the saint who will redeem the country.

/
Buhari did not cut short democracy.

Buhari cut short lootocracy dressed as democracy.

When you see democracy, you will know.

He might have done some things wrong but all the campaigns against him are being funded by the looters who want to protect their loots.

When a commoner like you joins their chorus, you have ended up showing that your existence is in vain.

Their accounts are loaded with millions of dollars and all you could boast of is some lousy "chewing gum" money. And if they win again, the access you have to them now will enter voicemail. Any attempt to get close to them, your fvck up will be addressed with koboko from MoPol.
/

InvertedHammer:

/
Buhari did not cut short democracy.

Buhari cut short lootocracy dressed as democracy.

When you see democracy, you will know.

He might have done some things wrong but all the campaigns against him are being funded by the looters who want to protect their loots.

When a commoner like you joins their chorus, you have ended up showing that your existence is in vain.

Their accounts are loaded with millions of dollars and all you could boast of is some lousy "chewing gum" money. And if they win again, the access you have to them now will enter voicemail. Any attempt to get close to them, your fvck up will be addressed by koboko from MoPol.
/

You are under a spell if you believe that a 72 year old uneducated retired general who had absolutely nothing to offer when he was president 32 years ago has suddenly metamorphosed into a Messiah.

you are wrong...more than 70 percent of christians will vote for buhari too. we are also tired of cluelessness and looting of the national treasury while using CAN as cover up.

1stola:
Ofcoz we know.
I wonder what da fúck is wrong with this Jonatanians ?
Are they kidding me? Today, they are praising their clueless wicked daft father that he reduced petrol price from N97 to N87.
Since the beginning of oil discovery, there has never been
decrease in the price we sell. Only in this unfortunate man's
time and you're here praising this bastard father of yours.
Crude oil price has reduced from about 120 dollars to 55 dollars
per barrel globally. That is about 60% reduction.
Let me explain simply to this silly TANoids
It means that if we buy petrol N100 before, we are supposed to
be buying it N40 now!
Tell me how removing N10 from it now a great achievement.
PETROL WAS N65 as at the time he got there. He meanly
increased it to N180 when he removed subsidy and after so
many protests, he reduced it to N97!
How has he reduced it now? From N65 to N87 abi?
Some dolts said posterity will not forget him coz his name is now among the presidents that reduced fuel price.
How will posterity not forget him?
Posterity will NEVER forgive him!
Jonádaft is the most wicked and corrupt bastard president to
ever unfortunately rule Nigeria. He is not different from
Nebukadnesari in the in the bible.
HE WILL DEFINITELY LOSE THIS NEXT ELECTION take it or leave
it.
Satistics made us know that Nigerians are about 50% Muslim
and 50% Christians.
In 2011, many Muslims I know voted for GeJ. I would have vote
for him too if i was in the country. This time around, Most
people will not vote for him coz HE IS A FAILURE and a
disappointment. Now, at least 90% Muslims will vote for GMB
and I know at least, 15% christains will also vote for him which
totals about 60% of all votes for him. Now tell me how this
wicked clueless goat will not be sent to his village by may 29,
2015.
.
.
GMB all the way jor!
He may not be the best candidate but surely better option to GEJ.

ApostlePeter:
This is nothing but the truth.I've been wondering why of all people,it's FFK dat should b GEJ's media n publicity person.It's another sign of cluelessness.Our sensitivities hav been toyed with 4 2long.Is this the kind of presidency we should mortgage our next four years with?4 years is not 4months or 4days.Nigerians ,vote wisely n objectively

Shut up when FFK was in APC, he was a progressive. Hypocrites

eaglechild:

You are under a spell if you believe that a 72 year old uneducated retired general who had absolutely nothing to offer when he was president 32 years ago has suddenly metamorphosed into a Messiah.

/
GMB may not have a magic wand. But his fate would have been sealed if a supposedly younger, more educated fellow didn't turn out to be the biggest disgrace of the century. The fact that people are willing to give GMB a chance is an indictment of GEJ. GEJ and GMB are products of the so called educationally-challenged areas. And to that effect and on the real sense of it, they are both illiterates.

His cluelessness knows no boundary that he is the first president to be referred to as "some guy named Goodluck Jonathan" by a US Sen. McCain. One can only imagine the kind of dinner jokes they are using him for. And like it has been noted, "respect is earned".

GEJ makes mockery of education.
\

All the personal attacks on the person of Buhari in the last few weeks have only convinced me that he is the
best available option at this time.
Anyone on the weaker side in any argument always resorts to personal abuses and attacks

This bros must be a Nairalander.....

he North on Wednesday disagreed with the National Assembly on the proscription of two Islamic miltant groups - Boko Haram and Ansaru-by President Goodluck Jonathan.

While the North through its two prominent groups, the Arewa Consultative Forum and the Northern Elders Forum, faulted the ban, the National Assembly insisted that it was a welcome development.

To the ACF and the NEF, the Jonathan administration has through the ban thrown a spanner in the works in its efforts to end bloodletting in the North through amnesty for Boko Haram and Ansaru members.

They said they were waiting to see how the Federal Government would address the crisis in the North.

In an interview with one of our correspondents in Kaduna, the ACF's National Publicity Secretary, Mr. Anthony Sani, argued that with the ban, negotiations with Boko Haram would be difficult.

He asked, "Now that they (government) have proscribed the sect, can they now negotiate with a non-existing group?

"Before, the government told us that it was using a stick and carrot approach; that is, negotiation and state of emergency; now that they have proscribed it (Boko Haram), how will the negotiation work?

"It is the government that told us that a stick and carrot approach will work together. Now that they have gone to proscribe Boko Haram, let us see how they will apply the stick and carrot. We pray that they succeed."

Sani wondered if the government would negotiate with members of the sect individually instead of meeting the group.

He added, "The government said they needed the emergency in order to reclaim the seized town taken over by Boko Haram. This made Nigerians, including us (ACF) to give them the go-ahead. We supported the state of emergency to reclaim seized part of the country.

"But now that they have proscribed the sect, we don't know how they will apply the carrot. Now, how can you negotiate with an illegal entity? The group has just been proscribed. They have announced it. They are applying the stick now but we don't know how they will apply the carrot."

His counterpart in the NEF, Prof. Ango Abdullahi, said the proscription contradicted government's efforts to negotiate with the sect.

Abdullahi argued that the proscription of anything should come after the legal existence of such a thing.

He added, "As far as I can understand, if there is an organisation registered with the Corporate Affairs Commission and is operating according to the law before it was registered; and then along the line, the organisation begins to infringe on the laws that created it or even against its laws as registered with the Corporate Affairs Commission, you can then go ahead and cancel its registration.

"If its activities are violating the law of the country, then issues like banning and proscription come into play.

"But in this case, people say they don't know what this Boko Haram is, they don't know the members and they are trying to get the members to come out for dialogue .

"If you are looking for dialogue, you have to expect that there will be people who will come out under certain respectable conditions.

"Two things have happened simultaneously- the declaration of a state of emergency which connotes the declaration of martial law. You cannot expect somebody to come and meet soldiers under emergency conditions and now you have the proscription."

Apart from the ACF and NEF, the Northern Youth Consultative Forum, a former Lagos State Police Commissioner, Abubakar Tsav, and the Campaign for Democracy flayed the ban.

The N Y C F National President, Alhaji Aminu Mohammed, Tsav and CD President Dr. Joe Okei-Odumakin, spoke separately with our correspondents on Wednesday.

Mohammed, who expressed concern about the planned amnesty for Boko Haram members, said it was unfortunate that all along, the Jonathan administration had been playing politics with the sect.

He said, "We are all intelligent. You cannot create many things at the same time: Boko Haram, amnesty committee, fighting insurgents and proscribing the group.

"How do we trust the government? Is it not the government that is messing things up? Let them tell us who Boko Haram is? Where are they?"

On his part, Tsav asked, "Is this ban an Act of National Assembly or a decree by the President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Nigeria, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan?

"Why did the President not include MEND(Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta), NDVF (Niger Delta Volunteer Force), OPC (Odua People's Congress), Ombatse, etc in the ban since these organisations also engage in acts of terrorism?

"Was Boko Haram a legal organisation before the ban? He(President) just sleeps, dreams and acts on his dreams without thinking. Laws are made for all but GEJ's law is discriminatory and with ethnic bias.

"This is civilian dictatorship and not democracy. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

Also, Okei-Odumakin said the ban was meaningless.

She asked, "What is the use of government outlawing a group that had already declared that it was the Federal Government that should beg it for amnesty?

"It is meaningless and preposterous. The Boko Haram would laugh it off as a joke. What the government needs to do is to enforce law and order."

Is spite of the knocks from the ACF, NEF, N Y C F, CD and Tsav, Jonathan got a strong backing from the National Assembly which said it would stand behind him in any action that would end insurgency in the country.

Senate Spokesman, Enyinnaya Abaribe, while briefing journalists on Wednesday, said, "The Senate welcomes the proscription of Boko Haram and other terrorist groups in the country. Although it is coming late, it is good and we will continue to support the President's efforts to bring peace to the country."

He clarified that the proclamation would not affect the amnesty plans, arguing that amnesty was for those who renounced their participation in terrorist activities.

Abaribe said, "Those who are still continuing with terrorism are not covered by the amnesty."

Chairman, House Committee on Media and Public Affairs, Mr. Zakari Mohammed, said, "The prescription order is a step in the right direction. As a House, we will support every proactive measure taken by the Federal Government to stem the tide of insecurity in the country.

"Whenever the government makes a pronouncement that is good, we will support it as a House."

Festus Keyamo is a disgrace to his profession. Is he not old enough to change Jonathan? Idiot.

Buhari at 72 is a ready alternative...so among all the elite calling for buhari, none is good enough? Nonsense.

Jonathan is comfortable with corrupt politicians and Buhari is not? Hypocrites. Tell me Mr Learned man, what will you call Tinubu with all his corrupt past and present activities?

It is a shame that even the educated Nigerians are supporting this semi-illiterate, good for nothing old man. Why did you study law and spent all the years working hard? Lazy idiot. How old was Obama when he became president?

thunder74:

See hypocrisy, this same Keyamo is one of the independent lawyers retained by GEJ Government to prosecute corruption cases.
Moreso, it is sad people like him will support GMB with all his past records. Gani Fawehinmi must be turning in his grave now with the kind of double mouth activists we have now.

lol..ok..u expect him to keep mute and do GEJ biddings cos GEJ retained him to procecute corruption. .I mean like returning the sobcalled favour?? I tell u this..if gani were to be alive..he wud have castrated this governemt, cos he was a human right activist..juat like featus keyamo who has been kknown not ro tolerate corruption. .so u see ya life

KwoiZabo:
We don't base our assessment of the President on stories by opposition figures. How can we forget so soon how OBJ and Atiku were openly accusing themselves of who is most corrupt and several other scam during OBJ's tenure, contracts are awarded and contractors will not even move to sight.
If Goodluck is corrupt the house of assembly members that pass our budget and monitor implementation will be speaking but they are not saying anything. Any amount they accuse the president for use in feeding had been like that before he came.
We have moved ahead of 8 countries in the global corruption index under President Jonathan, we now see Govt. money in our infrastructure etc. We don't politicize ministerial positions, contract awards etc. Sorry to use this word. Hausa men have ruled us for 38years we did not make progress and we have 2500megawatss when south Africa has 35000 megawatts. GEJ till 2019.

Guy ur statement is just too partisan, fiddle-faddle and fiendish. Ur context lack merit. You what in ur quiet time just think and reflect everything said about Jonathan and think about how it affects you, ur gains and losses. Without sentiments reason what has been said about Buhari and will find out that Buhari is better off Jonathan. My submission full stop.

Eluwilussit:
Festus Keyamo is a disgrace to his profession. Is he not old enough to change Jonathan? Idiot.

Buhari at 72 is a ready alternative...so among all the elite calling for buhari, none is good enough? Nonsense.

Jonathan is comfortable with corrupt politicians and Buhari is not? Hypocrites. Tell me Mr Learned man, what will you call Tinubu with all his corrupt past and present activities?

It is a shame that even the educated Nigerians are supporting this semi-illiterate, good for nothing old man. Why did you study law and spent all the years working hard? Lazy idiot. How old was Obama when he became president?

my oga..apparently our GEJ is or has been comfortable with corruption as typified as follows..if u have a factual contrary view..please show us..
PDPígs don't have good intentions for this nation.
The party is a cabal of rogues.
PDP supporters pls prove me wrong. By May 29 1999, we had
23 PDP governors, 6 AD, and 7 APP. 8 years after, this is
their
story:
(A) PDP (23 governors):
1. James lbori - PDP Delta - in prison for looting
2. DSP - Alamieseigha - PDP Bayelsa - Ex- convict for
looting
3. Lucky Igbinedion - PDP Edo - Ex-convict for looting
4. Peter Odili - PDP Rivers -In court for looting
5. Chimaroke Nnamani - PDP Enugu - In court for looting
6. Ayo Fayose - PDP Ekiti - In court for looting
7. Rasheed Ladoja - PDP Oyo - In court for looting
8. Alao Akala - PDP Oyo - In court for looting
9.Gbenga Daniel - PDP Ogun - In court for looting
10. Ikenna Ohakim - PDP Imo - In court for looting
11. Adamu Muazu - Bauchi (current PDP National Chairman)
- In
court for looting over N19 Billion from the state treasury
12. Joshua Dariye - PDP Plateau - In court for
looting
13. Jolly Nyame - PDP Taraba - In court for
looting the state treasury
14. Abdulahi Adamu - PDP
Nassarawa - In court for lootingthe state treasury
15. Boni Haruna - PDP Adamawa - (newly appointed minister
by
Jonathan) - In court forlooting the treasury
16. Saminu Turaki - Ex-gov. PDP Jigawa - In court for looting
the treasury
17. Orji Uzor Kalu - PDP Abia - In court for
looting the treasury
(B). AD / AC, 6 governors. None has ever been taken to
court
for treasury looting. NOTE:- Tinubu of Lagos wasdragged to
Code of Conduct Tribunal for having foreign accounts while in
power against government policy of zeroforeign account for
public officials. He was found not guilty because he had the
accounts before his election to the office of governor. Case
dismissed.
(C) APP - (ANPP) 7 governors:
1. Attahiru Baffarawa - APP Sokoto - In court for looting
(he is
now in a PDP member)
2. Prince Abubakar Audu - ANPP Kogi - In court for looting.
You may add the two ex-national chairmen of PDP, Ahmadu
Ali
and Bamanga Tukukur whose sons are facing multi-billion
naira
oil subsidy fraud charges.It's sad some senseless Nigeria still
believe we do not need a change from this same PDP while
they
claim they can't see the difference btw APC n PDP. The
difference btw them is like daylight to darkness. If you
chose not
to see may you remain blinded for eternity.
Others include:
Femi fani kayode - A thief pardoned by GEJ
Stella Udua - A thief pardoned by GEJ
Abba moru
Demije Bankole e.t.c.
.so which iw shameful. .##copied#

thunder74:

Like you rightly observed, FFK is still an accused and under our laws, he is still presumed innocent until found guilty by a competent court. Keyamo knows this and 0thes frustrations lawyers face prosecuting corruption cases. We should grow and move away from lawlessness where suspect is tried and convicted on the pages of newspapers to score cheap publicity.

You still don't get it. Nobody is saying the accused is already guilty.

Let's assume you are the president and you are fighting corruption. You should not only be fighting corruption but also be seen doing it.

If a High Court judge deems it fit from the facts before him that an accused has a case to answer in court, such should step aside from your govt until he clears himself.

Is this not a case of money laundering? In saner climes, such a person could bring down your govt talk less of being employed as a spokesperson for your reelection campaign!

There's more. The accused was not even part of your team when he was charged. Yet you went ahead to co-opt him with a money laundering case still hanging over him! And you still expect me to take you seriously that you are fighting corruption? SMH.

eaglechild:

It cannot go up but it can come down

You the hypocrisy.

dude I just ask u to explain further all u come up with is that am an hypocrite..Why do u think fuel was subsidise, it because the government know the country won't be able to buy at that high price...Now that the price of crude oil has been reduced at the international market, we shud pay lower since they now import and buy at a lower price...Pls don't try and dodge the question I asked u earlier, explain more like the other guy did

moderatorr1:
Corruption this corruption that, where were you all guys during OBJ's regime? Is it because you will go to jail for challenging the president then?

The question should be where were you during OBJ's regime?

Do you remember the ID card scam that consumed Interior Minister Sunday Afolabi and his deputy, the Police IG scam that consumed Tafa Balogun, the bribe for budget that consumed Fabian Osuji and led the senate to impeach Wabara. All these cases were followed up with criminal prosecution after the immediate sack that did not require a committee.

OBJ was not clueless, so he rose to the challenge. Despite that, his regime still got as much criticism as Jonathan.

The difference is that Jonathan seems to be satisfied that stealing is not corruption, and that prison is only meant for armed robbers, not stealing and corrupt politicians.

So I ask again, where were you during Obasanjo's regime?

jaytee01:
So because the govt retained him to prosecute a case, he should now turn a blind eye to corruption and mismanagement of the country's economy?

Can you listen to yourself?

. Mismanagement is unacceptable. But Is denigration of the president the best way to address the situation The laxer has simply turned his eyes from his prior responsibilities. You all say the president is clueless, I must confess that it's you citizens who are practically clueless!

InvertedHammer:

/
GMB may not have a magic wand. But his fate would have been sealed if a supposedly younger, more educated fellow didn't turn out to be the biggest disgrace of the century. The fact that people are willing to give GMB a chance is an indictment of GEJ. GEJ and GMB are products of the so called educationally-challenged areas. And to that effect and on the real sense of it, they are both illiterates.

His cluelessness knows no boundary that he is the first president to be referred to as "some guy named Goodluck Jonathan" by a US Sen. McCain. One can only imagine the kind of dinner jokes they are using him for. And like it has been noted, "respect is earned".

GEJ makes mockery of education.
\

. I like you quote but I ld rather give GEJ a chance. GMB is no better!