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I'm In A Fix..matured ADVICE NEEDED Pls!(guys Only)... / Pls Help, Am Addicted To Prostitutes / Am In A Fix, Can Someone Help Me Out? (2) (3) (4)
Help, Am In A Fix! by icecold2(f): 9:04pm On Dec 23, 2008 |
Am in a kindaa fix rite now my best friend just flew in from Nigeria with her fiancee to shop for her upcoming wedding, and guess what d guy happens to be a very close family friend, he has told me so much about this his babe but i never wlda guessed in a thousand years that he was dating my friend because we talk mostly on phone Well d jist now is that my friend had a child when she was very young and she did not even tell d guy about it she plans to keep it a secret forever but i think that is going to be a very wicked tin to do i have begged her to tell him but she refuses i even threatened to tell him myself and she said if i shld try it she's going to fight me with everytin shes got another tin is that dey just met like barely 8months ago and this guy is already madly in love with her this guy is such a nice guy and i do not think that he deserves such, my people i really value our friendship but at d saame time this guy too is close to me and my family i really do not know what to do i rjust feel like am in d middle of a Nigerian movie scene i even wanted to send like a anonymous person to tell d guy but i would forever feel guilty if i shld break this wonderful union, What do u advice because i still kindaa believe in d saying that a broken relationship is better dan a broken marriage |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Raymond88(m): 1:29am On Dec 24, 2008 |
1 Like |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Tatase(f): 1:42am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Ok it's kind of a tough situation to be and I myself don't like deception but I really don't think you should tell the guy. It's not really your place to do so. What happened to the child? Is it still in the picture, even in that case, I think you should let them settle it between them. You've tried your best and tried to talk to your friend. Does anyone else know about the baby from the past? Maybe you could also encourage them to help you get the girl to tell her fiancee. In the end, if she refuses, I still don't think it's your place to tell him. It's not right, I know, and it may feel like a really lowdown thing to do to because he's your friend too, but it's not your place. If it was the other way round, I know you'd want to know but at the same time, do you think he would tell you? And would you understand why he didn't tell you? |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Muza(m): 1:56am On Dec 24, 2008 |
is your friend a bad person,? did she get the baby by mistake,was she naive,was she taken advantage of? has she changed?,is she responsible now? these are wat u should ask urself,if shes not a good person or has not changed or is not responsible, why hesitate to tell him |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by HRhotness(f): 2:01am On Dec 24, 2008 |
whatever u do, stay out of it! its not ur secret to tell |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by bluespice(f): 2:04am On Dec 24, 2008 |
if she doesnt want to tell, its not ur job to tell |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Muza(m): 2:13am On Dec 24, 2008 |
u gurls need to understand that this guy is not just like another guy,he is a close family friend, and she wouldn't want to see him ruined. If she see that her friend is not good enough or doesn't deserve him, she should just spill the beans. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by yicob(m): 2:14am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Will u marry d guy after telling him? |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by HRhotness(f): 2:15am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Muza: that doesnt give her d right to butt into 2 pples relationship. . . he needs to stay out of it. at best, she shd try to convince her friend to come clean, but it really has nothin to do with her! |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Akinagirl(f): 2:18am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Not your job sweetie. Yes I agree it is wicked. But everything done in the dark will eventually come to light. She will not go to her grave with that secret. because it is bound to come up. But let it not come up with you. And by the way, where is the child? |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by bluespice(f): 2:20am On Dec 24, 2008 |
okay, so she has a child n doesnt want to tell the guy its wrong but u'll also need to tell us the circumstances that led to the child either way, stay out of it for all u know she might have told the guy but is trying to see how loyal u are dumb eh well, we all do dumb things once in a while |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by tope2000(f): 2:23am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Ewooo, this is a very delicate situation and i'll advice you to stay out of it |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Akinagirl(f): 2:23am On Dec 24, 2008 |
True, she might be testing your loyalty. But man, that is so wrong. Why is the child a secret? Is she afraid that she will lose him if he finds she has a child somewhere? If that is the case, make her understand that NOT telling him, she will lose him, because they will be married under false pretences. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by richo2: 2:26am On Dec 24, 2008 |
hmmmmm super story!!! |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by AdamBrody1(m): 2:27am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Yes o! Shout am loud and scatter the thing finish so that the guy will dump her sorry ass faster than lightening! When i say some girls are retards, you start bashing me. Why shouldnt she tell her fiancee that she has a child before? Na me send am message to get bang belly come born? What if the issue resurfaces in future? Would she pretend that the child doesnt exist? If you cant do it, send me the guys number now now and i will do mega olofofo on your behalf! Stupid retarded girl! |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Akinagirl(f): 2:31am On Dec 24, 2008 |
I agree Adam its very stupid. If she really loved the man as she claims, then she wouldn't keep that kind of secret from him. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by lucabrasi(m): 2:38am On Dec 24, 2008 |
@poster if she decides not to tell him about the child now,then i dont think that should be an issue,unfortunately we have a stigma attached to single mums in nigeria which might affect her happiness,the guy didint know about the kid and he s madly in love with her,that is enough to show you that it shouldnt be a deciding factor in the union,however i agree she is being deceptive,the way round it is for you and her to come to a compromise to make sure she tells the guy after the marriage and agre on a time frame,if however the girl's present character and reputation is bad and could affect the relationship,then irrespective of what she says,you should tell the guy cause this is a life time union and not just a relationship |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Nobody: 2:44am On Dec 24, 2008 |
This na true story, my mama once told me, one day, once upon a time, |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by iice(f): 5:22am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Depends on how good of a friend he is. That would determine if i will tell or not. But seriously, hide the matter of the kid forever? These are peoples lives, his and the child. She is already going into the marriage in deceit. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by diasporian: 5:26am On Dec 24, 2008 |
@Poster Say these things out: I am a fool I am a house breaker I am very stupid I am a busybody Say the above every morning and then see if you will shut your mouth up. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Akinagirl(f): 6:00am On Dec 24, 2008 |
A Home wrecker you call her? I think the lady in question is only trying to help a good friend of the family out. Yes it is not her place to tell, but. The lady(her friend) is a home wrecker herself by not telling the man that she has a child. How dumb can people be? But then again, it is her life. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by TOYOSI20(f): 6:11am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Its really complicated, I think u should just let them sort things out themselves |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by icecold2(f): 8:33am On Dec 24, 2008 |
hmmmm thank u guys for all ur responses i agree with u guys i do not think it is in my place to tell but if that guy ever finds out in future and gets to know that i knew all about it i know that he would never forgive me but i guess i would have to wait till den because i really do not want to involve myself with this issue even though it has really been bothering me Adam Brody: my dear i have actually tott about giving d guy an anonymous call but how on earth am i going to face my friend after that i just can't bring myself to do that kind of thing @all yea she was kind of promiscuious in sec sch, but she has really changed now another deceitful thing that i really find annoying is the fact that her mom too is helping her to conceal d secret, she tells everybody that she adopted d child can u imagine? As for my friend i know she truly loves d guy and is just afraid to loose him as for the guy he clearly does not deserve this i really feel for him because he is such a nice guy BUT THE BIG QUESTION IS WHO NEEDS MY LOYALTY MORE even though i have made up my mind not to get involved there still has to be a way out of this, without hurting anybodis feeling watcha think |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by olanajim(m): 9:38am On Dec 24, 2008 |
@poster, you'd better stay away from the couple. It may lead you to umpleasant situation if you carry bad news. Let the man find out on his own. You know some day, he will know. Your friend is just being stupid to want to ruin her own future by keeping such secret. The only way she can keep it forever is if the child is dead. That is if people like you simply shut up. Stay out of troubles. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by icecold2(f): 10:06am On Dec 24, 2008 |
olanajim: u can make a reasonable contribution withou being rude |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Nobody: 10:13am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Keep out of it is my advice- the guy will find out sooner or later - he may even already know you have done what you can - advised your friend of the possible consequences of her deception. if it eventually backfires, don't tell her 'I told u so.' besides who knows what secrets the groom has - could be he also has a child somewhere |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by bababuff(m): 10:18am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Please, stay out of it. Blessed are those who know how to keep deep secrets. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by deor03(m): 10:24am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Abeg, Create a secret email address and send a mail to the guy. All you need is to say it, the doubt will make the guy ask questions If I am the guy, if i find out later . I won't be too happy that you did not hint me. Besides, who said your friend ( the guy) really mind the situation |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by icecold2(f): 10:30am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Gracias por sus comentarios thanx for all ur comments am definitely gonna stay outta it |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by krama(m): 10:58am On Dec 24, 2008 |
You are sure the guy will find out some day. And it will definitely have an influence on their marriage. Needless to say, they guy will not take it lightly that you didn't tell him. I agree with you that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. If the guy is so good and i care for the guy so much, i'd find a way to reach his Pastor and tell him, (if he attends church, that is). They have a way of handling such issues. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by Akinagirl(f): 11:07am On Dec 24, 2008 |
Just don't say anything. You can hint maybe. Just don't say it out. This man does have a right to know,but it should be the woman telling him, not you. Man, some girls can be so daft. This is a grave issue, all she is doing is cursing her marriage before it starts. |
Re: Help, Am In A Fix! by olanajim(m): 11:22am On Dec 24, 2008 |
@poster, As for if the man find out in future. Just find a way of being far from them. Your friend will beg you to appeal to the guy and the guy will also accuse you of conspiracy. The way out? Tell your friend now the grave danger looming ahead and make her promise never to involve you should there be trouble over the issue in future. If she can do that, just stay out of it. Whatever the guy would say in future. All you have to tell him if he eventually know and he accuse u of any wrong doing is that : YOU THOUGHT YOUR FRIEND ALREADY TOLD HIM. AND IT WON'T BE POLITE OF YOU TO SPREAD THE GHOSPEL WHEN HE ALREADY KNOW. That is all. Then let them both trash it out. |
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