Got it from a friend of mine. It's kind of long one, but promise me you won't skip to the punch line because it's pretty damned funny . . .

Before I get into the joke I need to tell
you ANOTHER joke first . . .

"How do you tell if a woman in Las Vegas is a
prostitute?"
"She makes eye contact."
OK, now that that's out of the way . . .

A couple weeks ago my buddy Jared was
in Las Vegas when a beautiful woman
in a tiny black cocktail dress
made eye contact across the Casino floor.

Jared felt a shiver go right down
his spine and right to his crotch the moment
she looked at him.

She was gorgeous. Tall. Dark eyes.
A sway to her hips.

The woman walked over to Jared
and he bought her a drink.
She laid a hand on his bicep. Then
she laid a hand on his thigh and he felt
himself strain against his pants.
"So." She said. She gave him a little
squeeze.

"So." he said. "Uhh . . . um . . . how
much for a hand job?"
"A hand job," she said? And the words fell out
of her mouth like honey.
"Yeah. Yeah. How much for a hand job" he
sputtered.

"A hand job is $1,000" she said, plain and
innocent
like she was giving him directions to the mall.
Jared felt nauseous in his stomach.
"$1,000 ?," he said. "$1,000 for a hand job?
What . . .

What makes your hand jobs so good that
they're worth $1,000 dollars "
A tiny smile crept across the woman's lips.
"Come with me," she said and she slithered
towards the casino door.

Jared followed her outside.
"Do you see that Denny's down the street?,"
she said.
Jared looked and saw a Denny's about a
quarter mile down
the road.
"Yeah."

"Do you see that other Denny's a little
further down?"
Jared strained his eyes, but he saw it. Denny's
are thick on the ground in Vegas.

"I own BOTH of those Denny's because I give a
hand job that's worth $1,000."

Jared swallowed hard and looked for an ATM.
When the hand job was over Jared lay in
his hotel bed in a state of shock.

It had been amazing. The greatest hand
job he'd ever received. He wasn't even
sure he'd ever be able to self-service
again because it would pale so much in
comparison.

Every muscle in his body was slack.
He felt . . . warm. Happy. Safe.

The woman walked out of the bathroom
drying her hands. She started walking
towards the door.
"Wait! Wait," Jared said.

"Uhh . . . listen. That was . . . that was
amazing. But I have to know . . . I just have
to. How much for a Mouth Action?"
"A Mouth Action," the woman said (or maybe
she purred?)
"A Mouth Action is $5,000."

"$5,000 !!!!" Jared almost screamed. "Listen,
you just gave me the greatest hand job of
my life, but what the heck makes
your blow jobs worth $5,000 ?"
The woman walked towards the hotel
window.

"Do you see that hotel across
the street?" she asked.
Jared looked at the hotel. It wasn't
a huge casino or anything, but it was a nice
hotel with maybe 100 rooms right off
the strip. It was easily worth millions.
It had gargoyles that seemed
to stare at Jared with beady, hungry
eyes.
"Yeah. I see it."

"I own that hotel because I give
blow jobs that are worth $5,000."
Jared knew he was sunk. He couldn't
afford it but he HAD to know what
this woman could do with her mouth
that was worth $5,000 . . .

He went downstairs and got her a cashier's
check.
And the Mouth Action was . . . amazing . . .

It was a religious experience for Jared. He felt
his body and his soul separate. He felt loved
and wanted. He felt powerful. He felt all
the stresses of his life . . . his wife . . .his
kids . . . his job that he hated so much . . .
just fade away.

And when she was done he just lay there
in total, absolute bliss . . .
He heard the woman gurgling with mouth
wash in the bathroom. She picked up
her purse to leave.

And even though he didn't WANT to say
anything
because he KNEW he couldn't afford it
he couldn't help himself . .
"Wait! Wait!"
She stopped.

"I have to know. How much for
the pu**ssy?"
"The Kitty-Cat?" she said and
she saw a twinkle in her eye.

She walked back to the window.
"Do you see Las Vegas out there? Do you see
the giant casinos, the monstrous hotels,
the hot dog vendors, the strip clubs, the
bright neon signs, the roller coasters, the
theaters, the working girls . . . do you see the cabs and and the bouncers and the slot machines? Do
you
see ALL of Las Vegas out there covered in
light and pulsing??"

Jared's mouth went dry. "Yeah, I see it."
"Honey, if I had a pu**ssy, I'd own all of that
too."

Don't understand this piece

If I hear say I siddown for this kain midnight dey read this kain loong story!
I'll rather read the whole Old testament from Genesis to Malachi than read this!

DonX001:
If I hear say I siddown for this kain midnight dey read this kain loong story!
I'll rather read the whole Old testament from Genesis to Malachi than read this!

After u've read it!

kevinberry:
Don't understand this piece

Do try read it again, it's hilarious.

kevinberry:
Don't understand this piece

Do try read it again, it's quite funny!

The woman is a man

donteddy:
The woman is a man

Got it!

;Dhahahaha.. ah dunn die.. his been enjoying fellow mans BJ! n hand shrub ;

.

.

LewisO:
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