Good morning, my good people. It's a privilege to be both alive and well...
This writ isn't about bashing the women folks. We can't really do much without their company, advice and support. It's about addressing an issue isolated with ONE woman.

It's not even about giving my wife a bad name. She's being a huge path on my life. It's about a matter i consider very touchy to me.

Thank God it's a faceless forum, hence we can bring up some deeply private issues so others can advise, rebuke where necessary, correct and exhort us.

The world pays more attention to physical abuse because it's consequences and scars are physical and tangible. But i believe verbal abuse is even more traumatic than physical abuse. The impacts of its are unseen, hardy known to outsiders, and yet even more destabilising and frustrating. It's scars lie beneath sur face.

Verbal abuse also posts a significant threat to the overall wellbeing of a home. I hate being it's recipient. Maybe that's why I don't dole it to anyone, especially my wife.

Couples of course do disagree once in a while in every healthy marriage. And it doesn't need to degenerate to name calling or direct abuses. No human is perfect. I can't claim I'm the perfect husband. I may sometimes be a bit too touchy when words are hauled at me. I hate being bullied. Tonight was one occasion too many.

I had gone for a church programme late last year. And the pastor asked us to write on a paper the names of all our loved ones so he could prayed against DEATH on their behalf. I wrote the names that flooded my mind that moment. We didn't have much time shaaa. This list is still in my Bible as I type.

My wife saw the list as she was studying my Bible. She observed, even to my surprise, that some other names came before hers. Some relatives of our both families came before hers on the list. I was even ashamed myself. I explained the situation and apologised immediately that it shouldn't be taken too seriously. She furiously closed the Bible and the torrents of abuses commenced. I know most women to be very detailed, observant and detailed. I'm still surprised that such a matter could create some tension in the home. I'm still struggling to continue my RCCG fast today. This ought not so to be.

Your wife wants to be the uppermost in your heart and you should give her that space.
However,tongue-lashing each other is not the way to go.

Your wife too no dey fast?Make she dey quick forgive o.

dein77:
Good morning, my good people. It's a privilege to be both alive and well...
This writ isn't about bashing the women folks. We can't really do much without their company, advice and support. It's about addressing an issue isolated with ONE woman.

It's not even about giving my wife a bad name. She's being a huge path on my life. It's about a matter i consider very touchy to me.

Thank God it's a faceless forum, hence we can bring up some deeply private issues so others can advise, rebuke where necessary, correct and exhort us.

The world pays more attention to physical abuse because it's consequences and scars are physical and tangible. But i believe verbal abuse is even more traumatic than physical abuse. The impacts of its are unseen, hardy known to outsiders, and yet even more destabilising and frustrating. It's scars lie beneath sur face.

Verbal abuse also posts a significant threat to the overall wellbeing of a home. I hate being it's recipient. Maybe that's why I don't dole it to anyone, especially my wife.

Couples of course do disagree once in a while in every healthy marriage. And it doesn't need to degenerate to name calling or direct abuses. No human is perfect. I can't claim I'm the perfect husband. I may sometimes be a bit too touchy when words are hauled at me. I hate being bullied. Tonight was one occasion too many.

I had gone for a church programme late last year. And the pastor asked us to write on a paper the names of all our loved ones so he could prayed against DEATH on their behalf. I wrote the names that flooded my mind that moment. We didn't have much time shaaa. This list is still in my Bible as I type.

My wife saw the list as she was studying my Bible. She observed, even to my surprise, that some other names came before hers. Some relatives of our both families came before hers on the list. I was even ashamed myself. I explained the situation and apologised immediately that it shouldn't be taken too seriously. She furiously closed the Bible and the torrents of abuses commenced. I know most women to be very detailed, observant and detailed. I'm still surprised that such a matter could create some tension in the home. I'm still struggling to continue my RCCG fast today. This ought not so to be.

I can imagine, you feel pained!

Don't get yourself worked up. dont break your fast either. keep calm and quiet for awhile and when she's calm too, explain the situation again.

it's beyond the prayer list, she just thinks she's lost priority in your heart, (which might be true) and that is the issue you need to address not just with words but actions!

A few questions - do you normally pray together, do you pray for her and is she aware of that? has love grown cold between you too, have you began to take one another for granted? imagine you had to write that list before you were married, would her name have come up first?

she was studying d holy Bible and in a space of 5mins closed d Bible in anger and started raining abuses. women sha

Op, as far as you have apologized then donot worry yourself anymore. Anybody could have made that oversight. Your wife happens to be someone with an eye for details that's why she is over-reacting.

This is one of the little things that ppl dont see as somthing serious but matters alot in marriage/relationships. Go on wit ur fast, pray the spirit of 4givnes enters her and keep asking for her forgivnes. But ur wife sef, haba.

Oga no vex abeg. Please follow through with your fasting, don't let the Devil have his way in your family.

I reserve my comment for your wife. It is well.

jadelyn007:
Op, as far as you have apologized then donot worry yourself anymore. Anybody could have made that oversight. Your wife happens to be someone with an eye for details that's why she is over-reacting.

Thanks, my dear. Indeed she's a VERY detailed person. Things hardly escape her notice. But i do a hard time swallowing direct insults. I'll do as you suggested. I love her so much...

Ewuro4:
Oga no vex abeg. Please follow through with your fasting, don't let the Devil have his way in your family.

I reserve my comment for your wife. It is well.

Without peace between us, the fasting is effectively starvation ooo

dunwun:


I can imagine, you feel pained!

Don't get yourself worked up. dont break your fast either. keep calm and quiet for awhile and when she's calm too, explain the situation again.

it's beyond the prayer list, she just thinks she's lost priority in your heart, (which might be true) and that is the issue you need to address not just with words but actions!

A few questions - do you normally pray together, do you pray for her and is she aware of that? has love grown cold between you too, have you began to take one another for granted? imagine you had to write that list before you were married, would her name have come up first?

Thanks dear.

Of a truth any wife will feel somehow at the reason why she comes futher down on a list of supposed loved ones. Its natural and I am sure you too would wonder if same happened to you

There could also be some other things that have happened in the past that had made her to question her place in your heart. You said she is a very detailed woman, and so could have noticed some things and read some meaning into things even if maybe you didnt intend it that way

But you have hit the nail on the head. Words build and words destroy and I personally dont understand it when couples say the most hurtful things to each other and then expect to to be able to come together a few days later like nothing has happened.
Each time you say something terrible, demeaning, insultive and hurtful one is only just gradually chipping away at the walls of the relationship.

Youve explained to your wife and you have also apologised to your wife. Wait a few days until she is calm and explain to her that her words are "killing the relationship and you dont have a problem with her getting angry over issues, but she needs to weigh her words before she spills them becasue once they are out there is no taking them back.

Hmmmm.....no lady no matter how carefree will feel good when she sees that she's not first even on mere paper....

Give her some time she will come around.

chaircover:
Of a truth any wife will feel somehow at the reason why she comes futher down on a list of supposed loved ones. Its natural and I am sure you too would wonder if same happened to you

There could also be some other things that have happened in the past that had made her to question her place in your heart. You said she is a very detailed woman, and so could have noticed some things and read some meaning into things that you ddnt even intend that way

But you have hit the nail on the head. Words build and words destroy and I personally dont understand it when couples say the most hurtful things to each other and then expect to to be able to come together a few days later like nothing has happened.
Each time you say something terrible, demeaning, insultive and hurtful one is only just gradually chipping away at the walls of the relationship.

Youve explained to your wife and you have also apologised to your wife. Wait a few days until she is calm and explain to her that her words are "killing the relationship and you dont have a problem with her getting angry over issues, but she needs to weigh her words before she spills them becasue once they are out there is no taking them back.

A very well articulated piece. Very balanced too.

Thanks for the taking the pain and time to write this. It's well appreciated. I'm grateful.

chaircover:
Of a truth any wife will feel somehow at the reason why she comes futher down on a list of supposed loved ones. Its natural and I am sure you too would wonder if same happened to you

There could also be some other things that have happened in the past that had made her to question her place in your heart. You said she is a very detailed woman, and so could have noticed some things and read some meaning into things even if maybe you didnt intend it that way

But you have hit the nail on the head. Words build and words destroy and I personally dont understand it when couples say the most hurtful things to each other and then expect to to be able to come together a few days later like nothing has happened.
Each time you say something terrible, demeaning, insultive and hurtful one is only just gradually chipping away at the walls of the relationship.

Youve explained to your wife and you have also apologised to your wife. Wait a few days until she is calm and explain to her that her words are "killing the relationship and you dont have a problem with her getting angry over issues, but she needs to weigh her words before she spills them becasue once they are out there is no taking them back.

I will have go over this again and again till its meaning soaks into me more fully.

lofty900:
she was studying d holy Bible and in a space of 5mins closed d Bible in anger and started raining abuses. women sha

My brother, e tire me; I no go lie.

Alezy:
This is one of the little things that ppl dont see as somthing serious but matters alot in marriage/relationships. Go on wit ur fast, pray the spirit of 4givnes enters her and keep asking for her forgivnes. But ur wife sef, haba.

Thanks for your points. Noted. The devil won't scuttle my fast. I'm believing God for great miracles and blessings.

Op, dnt worry. when she's calm you can communicate your concerns to her and also assure her that she is your priority by showing her both in words and in actions. Its only by doing so that she will feel elated. she would even reciprocate in the same vein. Any woman would feel bad about it but its not meant to degenerate to name calling rather it shows you both need to communicate and bond more.

Sophyrocks:
Op, dnt worry. when she's calm you can communicate your concerns to her and also assure her that she is your priority by showing her both in words and in actions. Its only by doing so that she will feel elated. she would even reciprocate in the same vein. Any woman would feel bad about it but its not meant to degenerate to name calling rather it shows you both need to communicate and bond more.

As usual, honest and selfless thoughts from a great person. I will give her some time and do the needful.

Thanks for your thoughts.

And God bless.

Shalom.

dein77:


As usual, honest and selfless thoughts from a great person. I will give her some time and do the needful.

Thanks for your thoughts.

And God bless.

Shalom.

You welcome and may God bless you and your family.

..

Op pele dia.oya come and break your fast with this. The one that you have fasted is enough



ĺ

dein77:
Good morning, my good people. It's a privilege to be both alive and well...
This writ isn't about bashing the women folks. We can't really do much without their company, advice and support. It's about addressing an issue isolated with ONE woman.

It's not even about giving my wife a bad name. She's being a huge path on my life. It's about a matter i consider very touchy to me.

Thank God it's a faceless forum, hence we can bring up some deeply private issues so others can advise, rebuke where necessary, correct and exhort us.

The world pays more attention to physical abuse because it's consequences and scars are physical and tangible. But i believe verbal abuse is even more traumatic than physical abuse. The impacts of its are unseen, hardy known to outsiders, and yet even more destabilising and frustrating. It's scars lie beneath sur face.

Verbal abuse also posts a significant threat to the overall wellbeing of a home. I hate being it's recipient. Maybe that's why I don't dole it to anyone, especially my wife.

Couples of course do disagree once in a while in every healthy marriage. And it doesn't need to degenerate to name calling or direct abuses. No human is perfect. I can't claim I'm the perfect husband. I may sometimes be a bit too touchy when words are hauled at me. I hate being bullied. Tonight was one occasion too many.

I had gone for a church programme late last year. And the pastor asked us to write on a paper the names of all our loved ones so he could prayed against DEATH on their behalf. I wrote the names that flooded my mind that moment. We didn't have much time shaaa. This list is still in my Bible as I type.

My wife saw the list as she was studying my Bible. She observed, even to my surprise, that some other names came before hers. Some relatives of our both families came before hers on the list. I was even ashamed myself. I explained the situation and apologised immediately that it shouldn't be taken too seriously. She furiously closed the Bible and the torrents of abuses commenced. I know most women to be very detailed, observant and detailed. I'm still surprised that such a matter could create some tension in the home. I'm still struggling to continue my RCCG fast today. This ought not so to be.

No poster, u are not wrong. Ideally, there should be people in our lives that we are most concerned about in certain areas. For instance if I were to be in ur shoes, I will consider a frail aunt, a sickly relative, my aged parents etc before I even think about my hubby. Same thing for if I were to pray for financial breakthrough for loved ones, I will first consider that my uncle who has been struggling all his life etc before hubby. Your wife is jst being petty and immature. Ask God to give her wisdom. "A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one destroys it with her own hands"

Smh... She no happy say her name dey the list at all? After all some people secretly want their spouse dead. Anyway, a random starving street kid may at times deserve help more than your chubby best friend.

Is she afraid that God's blessing would have finished before it reaches her turn on the list?

This is too lame an issue to cause discord between persons who have truly let God's word change their lives and thought processes, unless they are pretending.

I believe there are underlying issues, and this is just an avenue to vent. Try to find out.

If all the people above her in the list are older. Just tell her that those people came to your mind first because they are older and have illnesses. That is probably why you wrote it like that anyway

this should be no biggie... happens because wifey is default no 1...(like the classic forgetting to count oneself in a roll call)

Your wife overreacted and considering this is a supposed period of spiritual stuff is acting in dissonance to the expected blessing of a fast
How can one keep malice and fast

Bring up the issue again
If she persists, move on with a clear mind

Lol. I think she reacted that way due to hunger. Please let her go off the fast for a few days. She's probably missing nutrients. How many days be this una fast sef? Last year's was 100 days, I think. Maybe she wants you to change to jollof rice and chicken church. No vex my broda.

it's disrespectful of her to rain abuses on you. be a MAN.

Apologise to her. Don't make it a big deal with her.

ps. Please unquote previous statement @dein77

@ Op please do another list and make her number one on that list please bear with madam it could be the hormones...

MrPresident1:
OP, no be your wife wen you tell us the other day say she get factory-fitted pointers and rear lights be that?

Na wah o

Today is another day.

subzidi:
@ Op please do another list and make her number one on that list please bear with madam it could be the hormones...

Hormones? Give me a break.