ileobatojo:
Why threaten to leave when you don't have the liver nor the desire to carry out the threat? Just stay and continue to beg then. Next time allow your brain work faster than your mouth.

Like i said i was on my way out when my neigbhour spoke to me. My husband is a very proud person who never says he is sorry when wrong. He has done so many things i keep piling. I have been patient with him. I would have left i stil have the keys to my father's house but i just want to give him one more chance to correct his mis deeds.

Take that transport fare and go buy sexy lingerie Seriously you never ever ever bring up the D word. Don't ever threaten to divorce him. You can make your point without threats. Now that you have threatened him, what's next? When he comes home he will meet you there. I would still ignore him for a while though. Sexy lingerie and all

soulglo:
Take that transport fare and go buy sexy lingerie Seriously you never ever ever bring up the D word. Don't ever threaten to divorce him. You can make your point without threats. Now that you have threatened him, what's next? When he comes home he will meet you there. I would still ignore him for a while though. Sexy lingerie and all

Nice one but he has taken her key.

cionon:


Well, i made up my mind if he doesn't beg, then i ll leave. I was leaving when i was stopped by my neigbhour and she told she heard our argument and she asked me not to leave like that. That its just a young marriage. Our gate man is elderly and he told me to go back and stay put. I stil have the keys to my parents house and later i though about it and decided to stay.
My main concern is how to calm my husband and ask for forgivness because he hardly forgives

Leave matter abeg, if you wanted to leave no neighbor can stop you, you made an irrational threat and he called your bluff. He doesn't forgive then don't say anything. You must have seen that before you married him keep managing each other and no empty threats.

cionon:


Like i said i was on my way out when my neigbhour spoke to me. My husband is a very proud person who never says he is sorry when wrong. He has done so many things i keep piling. I have been patient with him. I would have left i stil have the keys to my father's house but i just want to give him one more chance to correct his mis deeds.

Please, you know you had no plans of leaving. Was it not you who said this?

I also said I wasn't interested in the marriage if he can't accept his fault and make efforts to change. He told me what am i waiting for that I can leave the next day which is today. I said fine I will leave and to my suprise, this morning, he gave me transport fare to go back to my parents house. I expected him to beg me and say he will change not give me transport fare. He even took my own keys to the house and gave the security to lock the door after I leave

Once again, don't make threats you don't intend to carry out.

aisha2:


Leave matter abeg, if you wanted to leave no neighbor can stop you, you made an irrational threat and he called your bluff. He doesn't forgive then don't say anything. You must have seen that before you married him keep managing each other and no empty threats.

Thank you.

^^She said it in the heat of the discussion. Take it easy Ile, her husband already hasn't.

carefreewannabe:


Nice one but he has taken her key.

She should wait by the door like gateman

soulglo:


She should wait by the door like gateman

In lingerie

@ cionon : Don't leave since you still want to work things out with him. Personally, I would give him the silent treatment for a while since tempers are high now before calling him for another round of discussions and amicable settlement. But if you think it's best to apologize immediately to him, then go ahead and do so.

However, I am also very uncomfortable with his actions, trying to throw you out at all cost? That's quite extreme IMO, are you that worthless?? These are things you should address gently with him after accepting and apologizing for your own faults but NEVER walk out of ur marriage if you still want to walk things out.

carefreewannabe:
^^She said it in the heat of the discussion. Take it easy Ile, her husband already hasn't.

I hear you carefree but to me, that's an extremely scandalous thing to say in the heat of a discussion. Once you say that, you should be ready for the consequence, not later crying over spilt milk.

ileobatojo:


I hear you carefree but to me, that's an extremely scandalous thing to say in the heat of a discussion. Once you say that, you should be ready for the consequence, not later crying over spilt milk.

I agree that it was a mistake but don't we all make mistakes?
I am sure she has learned her lesson.

cionon:


Like i said i was on my way out when my neigbhour spoke to me. My husband is a very proud person who never says he is sorry when wrong. He has done so many things i keep piling. I have been patient with him. I would have left i stil have the keys to my father's house but i just want to give him one more chance to correct his mis deeds.

It seems you are still feeling yourself. So you are back because the neighbour and gateman begged you?

LOL

You better be real with yourself

Okay. Me on behalf of everyone on this thread I am saying you should leave. When you leave your eye would clear.

So you still have the keys to your fathers house lol. So assuming your father was in another country nko?

If I am your husband I would even pay for Uhaul or movers to assist you with leaving sef.

You are in a marriage and you are threatening to leave.

ABEG leave oooo

What are those faults he refused to work on.? @OP

ileobatojo:

I hear you carefree but to me, that's an extremely scandalous thing to say in the heat of a discussion. Once you say that, you should be ready for the consequence, not later crying over spilt milk.

This is why we beg women like this to watch their tongues. You will be talking anyhow and push the Man to the limits where he will know you are all talk zero action and do this then start lamenting.
Anyway me I bet he acted the same way before the wedding but she assumed as soon as she gets the ring she will make him change

bukatyne:


@OP:

Quite sad

I am very worried at the bolded....

If your hubby did not go to the extent of collecting your keys and instructing the security man to lock the door after you are gone (i.e. stopping at the transport fee stuff), waiting for him and apologizing would have worked IMO,

But now, call his bluff, go home and let your parents settle the real issues underneath

It is well

That is the part i don't get, he collects her keys and instructs the security man to lock the door. Can't she collect the keys from the security man? Most security men will be diplomatic they don't want to get into the middle of something they don't know which way it will go down.

Must have been a big quarrel. Yeah better to go home and let the real issues be sorted.

raumdeuter:


It seems you are still feeling yourself. So you are back because the neighbour and gateman begged you?

LOL

You better be real with yourself

Okay. Me on behalf of everyone on this thread I am saying you should leave. When you leave your eye would clear.

So you still have the keys to your fathers house lol. So assuming your father was in another country nko?

If I am your husband I would even pay for Uhaul or movers to assist you with leaving sef.

You are in a marriage and you are threatening to leave.

ABEG leave oooo

Lmao she is still making mouth for us here

The same thing happened to my friend and she took her daughter and went to lodge in a hotel, it was the man that came begging. But wait, this one he is giving you transport fare to your fathers house? How old are you again?

cococandy:
What are those faults he refused to work on.? @OP

He womanises. I have seen condoms a lot in his office trousers. Called his attention but he never even had the courtesy to say his sorry instead he says he carries them for a reason and it should stop questioning him. My cuxn as seen him with a girl b4, bt he denied it even wen it was obvious he lied about his whereabt cause the frnd he said he was going to see came to the house. and he is very pompous. Never apologies for his wrong doings.
Very disrespectful

Op, Did you date your husband before marriage? what sort of relationship did you have with your husband before marriage? was it the type that you guys loved threatening each other and breaking up often, perhaps keeping malice for extended periods? Seems you both had some issues while dating too. You said your husband doesnt like to apologise, never accepts he is wrong and is a proud person. Im wondering if you didnt see these traits before marriage. For you to settle with a man with such traits means you have accepted him this way and have found ways to go about it. To me, it seems the foundation of your marriage is faulty. i suggest you both see a counsellor. He being this proud and not accepting he could be wrong in issues will affect your marriage negatively. as you can see, you accumulated grievances and that has led to these outbursts.

2ndly, you dnt go about making threats you know you cannot carry out especially when you know the kind of husband you have. Threats dont work for his kind except you have made up your mind to go through with them. Dnt ever try using divorce as a threat next time. i guess the people above me have echoed my thoughts.

cionon:


He womanises. I have seen condoms a lot in his office trousers. Called his attention but he never even had the courtesy to say his sorry instead he says he carries them for a reason and it should stop questioning him. My cuxn as seen him with a girl b4, bt he denied it even wen it was obvious he lied about his whereabt cause the frnd he said he was going to see came to the house. and he is very pompous. Never apologies for his wrong doings.
Very disrespectful

WOW

Very disrespectful. What to do to 'remain married' ? I honestly dunno. My level of disgust for his attitude ( which most people on this thread :Pput in their blind spot) is very high at the mo. Good luck

cococandy:
What are those faults he refused to work on.? @OP

Cionon, would you mind telling us?

cionon:


He womanises. I have seen condoms a lot in his office trousers. Called his attention but he never even had the courtesy to say his sorry instead he says he carries them for a reason and it should stop questioning him. My cuxn as seen him with a girl b4, bt he denied it even wen it was obvious he lied about his whereabt cause the frnd he said he was going to see came to the house. and he is very pompous. Never apologies for his wrong doings.
Very disrespectful

Ahhhhh. Now I understand where you are coming from. Your husband isnt ready for marriage o. Did you date him at all?

cionon:


He womanises. I have seen condoms a lot in his office trousers. Called his attention but he never even had the courtesy to say his sorry instead he says he carries them for a reason and it should stop questioning him. My cuxn as seen him with a girl b4, bt he denied it even wen it was obvious he lied about his whereabt cause the frnd he said he was going to see came to the house. and he is very pompous. Never apologies for his wrong doings.
Very disrespectful

Wow wow wow.

aisha2:


Lmao she is still making mouth for us here

I am not making mouth. You guys aren't understanding me. If after his wrong doing, I called him to order and he feels it's normal, I told him if he z nt ready to change then I will leave
His reply was what am I still doing.
So I said fine I will leave.
I was actually thinking that he would beg since he was wrong especially after telling me his whores are better than me in all aspect.

This morning I woke up early and was packing then he just dropped the tfare and left. If he had begged and apologised, I wud have stayed.

I respect my neighbour cause she is a granny and spoke to me like a mother.

cionon:


He womanises. I have seen condoms a lot in his office trousers. Called his attention but he never even had the courtesy to say his sorry instead he says he carries them for a reason and it should stop questioning him. My cuxn as seen him with a girl b4, bt he denied it even wen it was obvious he lied about his whereabt cause the frnd he said he was going to see came to the house. and he is very pompous. Never apologies for his wrong doings.
Very disrespectful

How long have you been married for?

Do you have any kids?

cionon:


He womanises. I have seen condoms a lot in his office trousers. Called his attention but he never even had the courtesy to say his sorry instead he says he carries them for a reason and it should stop questioning him. My cuxn as seen him with a girl b4, bt he denied it even wen it was obvious he lied about his whereabt cause the frnd he said he was going to see came to the house. and he is very pompous. Never apologies for his wrong doings.
Very disrespectful

How did you get yourself into such a marriage? I feel for you, I honestly do.

You have three options now.

1. You accept him the way he his since he is not willing to change.

2. You try to work on your marriage, which won't be easy since you are ready to work on yourself but he is not ready to work on himself.

3. You leave.

Have you got kids?

Have you got a job?

cionon:

I am not making mouth. You guys aren't understanding me. If after his wrong doing, I called him to order and he feels it's normal, I told him if he z nt ready to change then I will leave
His reply was what am I still doing.
So I said fine I will leave.
I was actually thinking that he would beg since he was wrong especially after telling me his whores are better than me in all aspect.
This morning I woke up early and was packing then he just dropped the tfare and left. If he had begged and apologised, I wud have stayed.
I respect my neighbour cause she is a granny and spoke to me like a mother.

Ah this is a valid reason please leave or if you don't leave dont beg. Staying and begging will mean you endorse his cheating but was he cheating and rude when you were dating him?

I would not stay sha, he has bo respect for you or your marriage, I thought it was something small.
He isn't ready or willing to change, this is how it's going to be, it will even get worse. Cheating is one thing being arrogant about it to your wife shows total disregard

Sophyrocks:


Ahhhhh. Now I understand where you are coming from. Your husband isnt ready for marriage o. Did you date him at all?

Yes I did. Never knew he was dis disrespectful.

cionon:


I am not making mouth. You guys aren't understanding me. If after his wrong doing, I called him to order and he feels it's normal, I told him if he z nt ready to change then I will leave
His reply was what am I still doing.
So I said fine I will leave.
I was actually thinking that he would beg since he was wrong especially after telling me his whores are better than me in all aspect.

This morning I woke up early and was packing then he just dropped the tfare and left. If he had begged and apologised, I wud have stayed.

I respect my neighbour cause she is a granny and spoke to me like a mother.

Hmmm. From the bolded, he is trying to tell you there is someone else to replace you. #Sad# He isnt ready to work on his marriage. Be honest with yourself, can you live with this? Are you ready to carry out your threat?