1554609_442726259207714_7926199007674329100_n In the voice of whoever was your state coordinator ‘my fellow gentlemen corp members’ I know many of you registered for the Inec Adhoc staff and you want to participate in the election.(even my L.I registered) However before I continue I would like you all to think of yourself as heroes cos it takes guts to want to participate in any Nigeria election especially when you consider the level of social unrest and kidnappings in the country, but that’s not what this is all about. Man must survive so the saying goes hence the need to address some pertinent issues that bothers more on your survival than the electoral process itself. Follow these tips with all the ruggedness you learnt in camp, your life for the next two months depends on it.

REMEMBER
Before you start to form Jackchan or Wolverine Remember that many of these politicians have children schooling abroad, many of them would not even be in the country when the election starts, trust me they would even lodge in a hotel in Ghana or even Benin rep, their parents and parent’s parents with all their ancestors would travel out so they don’t really care what happens to you or how you want to protect the ballot paper with your own life. If by error of commission you die in the line of duty, your parents won’t even get a compensation, by the way how much can be used to compensate for all the times spent in a school where hundred are sitting and two hundred are standing, where lecturer victimization almost gave you seven years for a four years course, how much can compensate for the pain of losing a love one? And even if they do get compensation it would be like 5 years later after your mum must have stood on long queues with other mothers who had sons that tried to be a hero like you. Be wise, Nigeria is worth living for!!!

ALL POLICE STATIONS
You better go and start cramming all the police stations addresses in your state of service, start like this; cram one address of a police station in your community, cram another one in a community nearest to your community, then you upgrade to all the police station in your local government, don’t stop there o, move to cramming all the police stations in the state, what am I saying self. As a matter of fact, cram all the police stations in Nigeria, know it like the back of your hand. Why? Reason is this, in a time of crises with your brain running faster than your legs and meanwhile your leg is already running faster than Usain Bolt, you might not know when you’ll run past your local government into another local govt, its then you would know how easy it is to forget something as little as an address. Also you might be in Delta State only to wake tomorrow morning and find yourself in Niger State, how you got there? Kidnapping of course.

ANDROID PHONES
Oyibo did not do android phones just for chatting and playing candy crush or temple run, in case you don’t know there is something called Googlemap, get it and learn how to use it, you never can tell where you would find yourself. Load enough credits! Gals, now is the time to ask for recharge cards from your numerous boyfriends, sugardaddys and sidegeeks (see why I love to be single?) you need those credits in case of emergency. Also it is an added advantage if you can get a phone that uses 4 sims, maybe it has not happened to you before but network has a way of failing when you need serious help, so the more lines you have the less chance of network failure. Don’t forget to also get newsapps, e.g. channels TV, vanguard and Nairaland, very important, You might be there seriously attending to voters and you won’t even know that the world is coming to an end in Nigeria.

MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL ALERTNESS
I don’t know what you believe in and I really don’t care but my guys try to be more spiritual this period. If you are an ogun worshipper, take a metal to your polling unit, if you are an osun worshipper wear white and go ,if you worship sango, pack enough cowries, plait your hair but leave your anger at home(I won’t say more than that) if you are a Christian, fast and pray, if you are a muslim you better give all the beggers you meet on the street something, just look for where to change the 1000 naira in your hand to ten ten naira. If you are none of the above, please don’t participate. Also know the local slangs for stab him, kill him, kidnap her, etc but if you are serving in Akwa Ibom where they speak calaber ehmmmm, I don’t know o, maybe you should just run already.

WHO WOULD WIN WILL WIN
I know you are very corrupt, you will chop any money given to you but I take God beg you, don’t rig in favour of any party. If you are forced to, put it in your report. If you were bribed to, put it in yourrrrrrr mind and the money in your bank account, they would tell you how to treat cases like that at the training sha. Also don’t shake your head and widen your eyes when you see a strange political party, just register the votes already cos if you too shake am, you might not use that head again.

LIKE AND SHARE THIS
Last but not the least, share this with all your friends and tell them to share it with all their friends, you wouldn’t know whose life it would save. Like my page, support good thing. Vote naijasingleguy for 2020.

source; www.facebook.com/naijasingleguy