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Stats: 1063698 members, 1237923 topics. Date: Sunday, 26 May 2013 at 07:19 AM
|Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 6:49am On Jan 02, 2009|
Guy what do you think about this? its a Long story but am going to cut it as short as I can.
I was going thru my friend's fone and I saw this endowed babe, she had nice bosoms and I liked her, So I asked my friend about her and He gave me her number I called her up and we met She was schooling in Benin and I had to go to Benin for a Job, and when we met I have this Policy of beign straight am not A saint but I have made it a Policy to be straight when am dealing with People, So I was straight with her I told her how I got her Picture and How I had to collect her Number from my friend and I wanted us to start going out, she did not accept immediately but told me to wait when she gets back from School, when she did got back from school we met and talked again then she told me she just got out of a relationship so she was not going to Jump into a another one, it sounded reasonable, so I decided to give her time, she went back to school and after a few weeks I went to Benin to work as well as to see her when I saw her she told me she was going to tell me her decision when I had gone back to Lag but I insisted she goes ahead and tell me whats up and she told me ok we could go out, so we started dating, but then I noticed something when she accepted to date me the excitement was not there and I told her but she felt I was complaining and told me we have not even started a relationship and I was complainig already? so I felt I shoult still give her some times cos she was doing her final exams and she was going to do her Project as well, now I thought after her project we were going to have to start serious dating as per getting more intimate, but everytime I call her and after talking I tell her I love her she does not respond, I endured that for like 4 months until on the 31st Dec 2008 I talked to her and asked her if she had made up her mind to get love me, but she told me that shes been trying to do so but its not just working and becos of that we decided to call it quits, Well inside of me am at peace though I loved her but seriously I do not want to force anything outta her, I have spent some money on her already but I consider it a lost becos I never got anything in return, as far as am concern when am in a relationship and my woman refuses me sex then am the one on the losing end but I consider a relationship a good one when we both had inputs that is for me to have gotten something in return for what I have given in those cases I do not actually cry when the relationship stops cos we would have agreed on our own to stop it, but when its one sided it becomes painful, am not nursing any pain anyway, all I am concern about is if I had done the right thing or I should have given her some more time, in Her word and I quote'' '' You are a nice person I have tried to get to love you but nothing seems to be working if I could force it out of I would have done it" to me I feel with that statement that there is no hope for the relationship any longer. what do you think?
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Monicaa: 7:10am On Jan 02, 2009|
well to sum it up, like she said, she just got out of a relationship. Ur spending money or watsoeva u consider a loss isn't. She was genuine when she said if she could force it, she would. She just got out of a relationship so she needs time to clear her head. U should be patient with her or be friends with her, dont force anything or try to create a normal aura, if she wants u or watsoeva, she would at her own time.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 7:33am On Jan 02, 2009|
Appreciate your reply but this has been going on for like 7 months now, you think I should wait longer? what happens if in the Process of the waiting someone comes her way? cos already we were dating until when I felt I needed something definate that she felt she cannot give that we decided to stop it.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Monicaa: 7:51am On Jan 02, 2009|
I assume the definite thing u asked her was "sex", well 7 months is quite a long time but not necessarily to start loving someone, we all differ. She may have dated you as they say rebound, to see if she could actually fall in love agin but it didnt happen in that case. I wouldn't advise you to wait but if u genuinely love her, it may be worthwhile waiting n did she make it clear she doesn't love "you" or just not ready to love anyone or go into another relationship??
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Sea~Goddes(f): 8:09am On Jan 02, 2009|
just let her go, she was never into you at the first place according to ur testmony maybe cox she never liked u at the first sight, no real connection or no deep soul feelings for you or u never gave her time, space to really think bout it thoroughly, she felt pressured. anywaxz whatever the real reasons might be leave her to go, she doesnt like u and it is not going to workout. b.t.w did u want to date her cox she got big bosoms and u just wanted sex or that u actually really loved her whichi really doubt
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 8:20am On Jan 02, 2009|
She actually does not have Big bosoms but Beatiful bosoms, I loved her I must confess, and I never pressured her into anything I gave her enough time and I tried treating her as a Lover can, like you said anyway I think so too she does not Love me, but she tries to be a friend, I go to their House the Mom knows me as her friend but then I really did not think I should waste a whole lot of time waiting, I have waited enough.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Sea~Goddes(f): 8:36am On Jan 02, 2009|
leave her alone and get someone else if she wants u, u will definitely see the hints which i really doubt and also going to her house to me kind of seem u r still wanting her which will somehow make her feel weird since she told u, she is no longer intrested. move on is the keyword here
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 4:34pm On Jan 02, 2009|
I used to go to her house, not that I still go to their house I said that becos I was trying to make a point, and then we decided on our own not that she told me that she was not interested, I was the one that triggered it in the first place cos I felt I cannot continue going out with someone that does not say I love you back when I say it to her, she wanted it to continue the way its going but I felt I was beating myself and deceiving myself, that she could get someone that catches her fancy someday and dump me and it will be like but you already know, I appreciate your contribution but let me suggest that you always read posts very well to know where to advice or where your advice should fall into. Yes I loved her and I wish I can continue Loving her but I do not see a reason why I should when shes not loving me back. and that was why I asked her if she had made her mind up on it.
Thanks I appreciate.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by atiku07(m): 5:26pm On Jan 02, 2009|
I read through your post and i found out that we have almost de same problem. U see girls atimes can be funny but am very sure u have not asked the wrong question, in my own case the girl came back pleading that i should come back to her.
But by the time she came back begging i had already zero my mind about her, so just do what suits ur mind. But my advice will be forget about her and move ahead she will still come back, therefore do something worthwhile with the time u used in thinking about her.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by olanajim(m): 5:27pm On Jan 02, 2009|
You said something like as far as you are concern you like getting something like sex when you are in a relationship and that you consider you have lost since she didn't give you sex!
I think that statement gave you away since you have been frank to us as you love to be. Man, you also mentioned that when you looked at her picture from your friend's phone, what attracted you to her was HER TIT! Man, if you have been as frank and as straight to the girl as your post, then I can understand why she was not happy to accept you. It is obvious you want her for sex and no responsible lady that have just got out of a broken relationship will jump into a man who had made it clear what he want is to recoup his "investment" in kind or whatever.
I am glad she turned you down. Try find out what her last relationship look like and why it broke up. Then try and help her heal her wounded heart instead of nursing you own selfish desire. Finally, try to convince her that you are real and you will succeed in taking her away from her past. Money is not always the final decider.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by omega25red(m): 10:19pm On Jan 02, 2009|
you made two mistakes first you decided to hook up with someone who just came out of a relationship and two you went into this thinking that she owed you sex because you spent some money.
Rule of thumb never date a person who just got out of a relationship because you would end up beeing either a rebound or you would experience what happened to you and never ever ever think that because you took somone out to dinner or bought them a gift means that you are owed a relationship or intimate favor. These are the risks you take when you decide to hook up with anyone.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by iice(f): 5:56pm On Jan 03, 2009|
Sorry but rofl. Do you hear yourself? Her bosoms carried you to her. You consider the money spent a loss. You met and told her 'let's start going out', you love her but keep harping on the point you didn't pressure her. What has one got to do with the other?
I agree with this. There are no signs she was into you.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by KarmaMod(f): 8:17pm On Jan 03, 2009|
I am glad she turned you down. Try find out what her last relationship look like and why it broke up. Then try and help her heal her wounded heart instead of nursing you own selfish desire. Finally, try to convince her that you are real and you will succeed in taking her away from her past.
Lol while I agree with you, how can he convince her of being "real" when he actually IS NOT real. He was looking for sex and the smart chic didnt.
OP, leave the girl alone. she doesnt need another heartbreak from a love-vendor like you
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Magz(m): 8:25pm On Jan 03, 2009|
For some reason, I think that you would get along better with the girls here in the States. Maybe you should try and come to New York to find you a shorty.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by JJYOU: 8:55pm On Jan 03, 2009|
Magz:rub it in bro.
now where is topup to finish this guy gently. topup where are when NL need your services
i have the feelings this is what the recharge card, maltina and guguru/ epa girls do to other girls
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 10:23pm On Jan 03, 2009|
Hey there is always something that attracts one to a person either that the person is Beautiful, Handsome or Funny or the Person's got cash, then When I said I was frank with her I never said i would tell her I wanted just a f uck, When i said I loved her I meant it that was why I gave her the time I gave her, If you are going to say she was not into me yea I agree to that, What relationship are you going to go in that you would not expect sex? so where then do I get the sex? am a very sexually active Guy I dont imagine myself having a relationship then forcing myself to go Calibate, I have had serious Relationships we broke up becos of somethings and they were very Healthy relationships, As much as I had her becos of her attitude I have other girls I bang but I wanted to be more commited to her, I wanted her to be my woman, someone I can call mine all the time, but the truth is i noticed she was not into me, and for the guy that said you never date girls that just came outta a relationship how doyou tell if you are not close to the person? In the first place I just wanted a f uck but after we started I saw myself falling in love and I tried to let her into my heart but then she was not forth coming, we have had issues and reasons to part ways severally and she ends up calling cos when those things Happen I see them as a way out for me so it made me think she was feeling me, its when I noticed that it was taking her too long to open up to me that I decided to send her a text and to ask how much longer i was going to have to wait, I cant imagine myself in a relationship with so so much commitment and yet you have to go elsewhere to get a f uck I dont think its fair to me and I made her understand that though I did not openly told her but am sure she would have understood, my worry or anger is if she knew she was not eventually get in then why did she have to leave me get so much into her before she says she was not going to do it? even my friend that introduced me to her told me to leave her after our second meeting and she seemed to be forming good girl, so you can now understand what am talking about, some people answered me without really understanding what am saying, am not some secondary school Kid dear, am grown up and I have had a lot of expirience, my mind is outta her anyway, Was just trying to gather opinion. thank you all for giving your own opinion.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by touchmeder: 12:28am On Jan 04, 2009|
you did the right thing by moving on from your story she never seemed to be really into you. perhaps she had not gotten over her past relationship.
that aside but nawa oh this issue of being so commited to her and she not playing it equal by amongst other reasons not giving you sex while u were havin it outside from other girls. my brother that seems like selfishness to me too.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by ~Sauron~: 12:34am On Jan 04, 2009|
Such a long story. . . . . . .
Ma candid advice is to keep trying. Persistence PAYS!!!
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by tope2000(f): 12:43am On Jan 04, 2009|
She was never into you but i guess u ignored the signs cuz of the beautiful bosoms
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 1:22am On Jan 04, 2009|
Shes a Beautiful Gal, and if you had read my post well you will see that she told me to give her time, if she had told me that she does not want me I woul have left her long ago, We have had to part ways when she offends me and I will stop calling her, then she will call me for us to come back, I was the one that said I was tired of beign in a relationship where there is no love. Not her, She wanted me to wait, but I felt the waiting was too much so I told her to make up her mind and that was when she then made her confession that she has tried Loving me, but she could not just help it. she gave me the Idea that it was going to work out until when I felt I could not wait again.
Please always read posts well before responding.
thanks for the contribution anyway.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by iice(f): 3:39pm On Jan 04, 2009|
Like i said, you keep harping on the patience = love issue. So you gave her time to get used to the idea of sleeping with you, yeah you must really love her. Imagine when the patience runs out and she still hasn't gotten to the point of sleeping with you. . .well what do you know? The love starts to diminish and before you know it, it's dead.
Mr knowme, sex is a big part of a relationship but it's not all of a relationship and no matter if it seems inconceivable to have a sexless relationship, people do have those relationship.
This is a quote from your other thread http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=214456.msg3301357#msg3301357
I totally see why posters are zeroing on the 'big bosoms' part of your post.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by tobaaro(m): 4:17pm On Jan 04, 2009|
@ Olanajim & iice
U two hav bin thrashing posts on Nairaland 4 soo long u've become trite and lost intuition, So quick 2 pounce on som1 weak enuf 2 post his situations on Seun's portal! Anyway, keep doing wat u kno wat 2 do best! Thumbs up!
Its a funny call and its yours to make. U culd stay wt her, wait and keep luving her till she cums around which she definitely will as she's only human(C'mon Beauty kissed d Beast) and the luv will come eventually. But lyk u said, ther's d risk of som1 taking her 4rm u, bt then, NO RISKS! NO REWARDS! Plus d stronger ur luv is, d more reduced d risk of dat happenin.
Or u could just move on wit ur lyf, sulk 4 bout a month or two and keep banging all d panti babes u can find till u're tired of being lonely!
All d best
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by iice(f): 5:26pm On Jan 04, 2009|
You are welcome
I'd rather do without many intuitions apparent
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by seyimailer(m): 5:58pm On Jan 04, 2009|
I'd say frankly,a BROKEN RELATIONSHIP is like a broken car. Hard to fix and most times not worth it. Persistence is good but when it draws out for too long you just got to cut it. Some things weren't just meant for you!
Dont waste too much time on the past gone sour.
remember there's always something better than whatever you have at present.
Think of it as moving on to better grounds.
I promise you, if you guys didn't split now, you would later cos from your long story which you tried as much as you could to cut short, I know she doesnt feel you
Though I don't think it's due to her past experience. This probably would have been the reason for her last breakup. Try to find out. If you can.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by knowme(m): 11:08pm On Jan 04, 2009|
Seyimailer, thanks for the response, why I still answer is becos I feel some people dont really understand what am saying, anyway I have given up on her already, am just trying to seek advice as to if my decision was right or wrong to have broken up with her.
iice, the truth is you dont really know me, I just wanted her to love me, I wanted to get affection if return for the affection I was giving out, and you know quite well that if you are in love with a Person there is not reason why you would wanna stay far from the Person, so thats it there was no connection, the Chemistry was not there, and I noticed it so I asked a question and from the answer I get I decided to leave her alone.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by JJYOU: 11:11pm On Jan 04, 2009|
ok rest in peace now bros. save some money and try another girl. well done
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by omoshobo(f): 8:20am On Jan 05, 2009|
Hi guys and girls, My fiance broke up our relationship on saturday and am feeling really bad because i really loved him.He asked not to step my foot in his house,the problem was he said i raised my voice at him.I need your advice wat should i do? am hurting badly he has even proposed to me.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Ben-10: 9:45am On Jan 05, 2009|
omoshobo:na wa o another thread
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by omoshobo(f): 9:55am On Jan 05, 2009|
Yes another thread,why is it so easy for u guys to break up with girls?without consideration?
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Sea~Goddes(f): 9:57am On Jan 05, 2009|
lol gurl no vex na , thats how they were programmed to function
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by omoshobo(f): 10:25am On Jan 05, 2009|
Girl that is a first for me for a guy telling me not to step my foot into his house a house that i got for him,even the kitchen utensils i bought them with my money,am trying to give him time wheather he will change if not i will go remove my things from his house.
On the other hand am entittled to go pack the things i bought with my money cos he said i shuld go pick every pin i contributed to the house but a friend of mine though she is married said i shuld leave the things for him, i need advice wat shuld i do shuld i forgo the things or not?
Cos it is not proper for another woman to use the things i bought with my money.
|Re: Advice Needed On A Broken Relationship by Sea~Goddes(f): 10:47am On Jan 05, 2009|
well it depends on hw the breakup was, nasty or not so nasty? if it was really nasty by i nasty i mean if it was really a bad bad one then i suggest u just forgo it, it isnt worth the wahalas but then if it was the "ok i'm done with u" tin u knw, then get ur stuffs back, it is ur belongings and it should b with u however if u have enough money or if the stuffs r just common suffs not too expensive tins then u might as well forgo it and move on.
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