Having known her each time I visited my mum on holidays (who had divorced my dad since I was 6years old). In December 2006 we started dating. Her parents have also been seperated since she was 9. Her mum raised her and her 3 other siblings to SSCE level & couldn't help again. Life was not easy for me too as I sponsored myself through the University. After graduation, I went into taxi driving to survive while I seek greener pastures, and with it I sponsored her university education till graduation-alone. We wedded and have 2girls-5yrs & 8months. But my wife disrespects me, refuses to work to support me, does not care if I'v eaten or not or if I'm exhausted, tells me boldly that she doesn't care about our marriage, etc. I was compelled this evening to tell her to go to her mum if she's tired & feel life is better there than my best here. Her mum had encouraged her once to return if she wishes. She might be leaving 2morro. I love her but can't stand the troubles anymore. My mum warned me about her disrespectfulness-I didn't listen! Please advice me!

Women and their ways,You can never truly know them in all no matter how you try to please them,anyway for your sanity let her go since her heart is not in the marriage anymore,for the children God will certainly take care od them.

let her go...if not, you might be sending yourself to an early grave by harbouring her, by the time she's gone, realised her mistakes she'll definitely come back



prepare your heart to forgive her tho, but also fortify your heart for the worst




God bless you



you also need to pray very well, cos its obviously a generational curse... don't meet any man of God... draw close to God and he will draw close to you... he will open your doors and no man can shut them no more


once again, God bless you bro

I don't know much about what marriage feels like, so I really can't say.
but I will never harbour anyone that takes away my sanity, NEVER!, as long as I do everything to please you > the first one time you decide to be my death, everyone goes their way, there can be forgiveness but no reconciliation concerning continuing the relationship.

Leave her. The ration of man to woman is very high 5:1. Just bouce up to become a Single father

@OP... I swear u don try cous such a lady is a no!! No!! For mii..

Please let her go nd taste doz fruits she seek nd seriously 4 such lady I did prefer hell than 4give her..

A separation is in order.
Let her go, for you cannot force genuine love or friendship.
Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.


People get restless in marriages. . . when poverty is not involved.
Your 'wife' has had a very disadvantaged background. . .and may only have felt a sense of indebtedness to you because of her lack of financial stability. She may have only married you on that account and feels trapped having realized SHE IS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
She needs to grow up emotionally and mentally.
She is not yet a woman, despite the fact she has children and is married.
You married a CHILD WITH NO OPTIONS IN LIFE BECAUSE OF POVERTY!!!!

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Such is life. It is complicated!
Obladi. . .Oblada
LIFE GOES ON.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5h2izGG-Y

KanwuliaJara:
A separation is in order.
Let her go, for you cannot force genuine love or friendship.
Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.


People get restless in marriages. . . when poverty is not involved.
Your 'wife' has had a very disadvantaged background. . .and may only have felt a sense of indebtedness to you because of her lack of financial stability. She may have only married you on that account and feels trapped having realized SHE IS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
She needs to grow up emotionally and mentally.
She is not yet a woman, despite the fact she has children and is married.
You married a CHILD WITH NO OPTIONS IN LIFE BECAUSE OF POVERTY!!!!

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Such is life. It is complicated!
Obladi. . .Oblada
LIFE GOES ON.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5h2izGG-Y

If this is not the POST of the MONTH?



Some of the things got me thinking seriously about life ....... and then the song brought me back.

ROFL

carefreewannabe:


If this is not the POST of the MONTH?



Some of the things got me thinking seriously about life ....... and then the song brought me back.

ROFL

Na sooooo oooooooh!
Life nor get 'manual' or 'directions' o.
One day at a time. . . NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT BUT DEATH!

KanwuliaJara:


Na sooooo oooooooh!
Life nor get 'manual' or 'directions' o.
One day at a time. . . NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT BUT DEATH!

I have not even read the initial story but I love your post, especially the following part:

Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.

But the ending is just THE BEST.

Seems that a bad day has taken a turn for the better.

Obladi Oblada ......

KanwuliaJara:
A separation is in order.
Let her go, for you cannot force genuine love or friendship.
Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.


People get restless in marriages. . . when poverty is not involved.
Your 'wife' has had a very disadvantaged background. . .and may only have felt a sense of indebtedness to you because of her lack of financial stability. She may have only married you on that account and feels trapped having realized SHE IS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
She needs to grow up emotionally and mentally.
She is not yet a woman, despite the fact she has children and is married.
You married a CHILD WITH NO OPTIONS IN LIFE BECAUSE OF POVERTY!!!!

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Such is life. It is complicated!
Obladi. . .Oblada
LIFE GOES ON.

Frist on the card, I love your command of english!

Now with all due respect, this is the best post ever from you. I can read this over and over again. So meaningful.

U nid to talk 2 her first.
Mk her know d consequence of her actions. Buh if she continues, leave her 2 God

jameslucy:
Having known her each time I visited my mum on holidays (who had divorced my dad since I was 6years old). In December 2006 we started dating. Her parents have also been seperated since she was 9. Her mum raised her and her 3 other siblings to SSCE level & couldn't help again. Life was not easy for me too as I sponsored myself through the University. After graduation, I went into taxi driving to survive while I seek greener pastures, and with it I sponsored her university education till graduation-alone. We wedded and have 2girls-5yrs & 8months. But my wife disrespects me, refuses to work to support me, does not care if I'v eaten or not or if I'm exhausted, tells me boldly that she doesn't care about our marriage, etc. I was compelled this evening to tell her to go to her mum if she's tired & feel life is better there than my best here. Her mum had encouraged her once to return if she wishes. She might be leaving 2morro. I love her but can't stand the troubles anymore. My mum warned me about her disrespectfulness-I didn't listen! Please advice me!

well! that is some women for you! but Ask yourself .....is it the solution?
the choice of seperation and divorce are easy escape routes but it does not erase the problems,responsibilities, challenges each couple is confronted with.
whether it is financial,emotional,social,sexual etc
rather I if children are there it creates additional stress on every1.
you are trying your best and you need to up. your abilities just a little bit more.
think of the kids and think positive!

God will give you wisdom and strength to manoeuvre this very small argument.

carefreewannabe:


I have not even read the initial story but I love your post, especially the following part:



But the ending is just THE BEST.

Seems that a bad day has taken a turn for the better.

Obladi Oblada ......

Aprime:

Frist on the card, I love your command of english!
Now with all due respect, this is the best post ever from you. I can read this over and over again. So meaningful.

Thanks for the appreciation.
I was inspired by St. Valentine.

Kanwuliajara has said it all..Op,the ball is oin your court now..

Marriage,overhyped institution..

What you see,is not what you get..

jameslucy:
Having known her each time I visited my mum on holidays (who had divorced my dad since I was 6years old). In December 2006 we started dating. Her parents have also been separated since she was 9. Her mum raised her and her 3 other siblings to SSCE level & couldn't help again. Life was not easy for me too as I sponsored myself through the University. After graduation, I went into taxi driving to survive while I seek greener pastures, and with it I sponsored her university education till graduation-alone. We wedded and have 2girls-5yrs & 8months. But my wife disrespects me, refuses to work to support me, does not care if I'v eaten or not or if I'm exhausted, tells me boldly that she doesn't care about our marriage, etc. I was compelled this evening to tell her to go to her mum if she's tired & feel life is better there than my best here. Her mum had encouraged her once to return if she wishes. She might be leaving 2morro. I love her but can't stand the troubles anymore. My mum warned me about her disrespectfulness-I didn't listen! Please advice me!

You also need to ask yourself where you could have gone wrong.
Some self made men that had a hard time growing up are very bitter and see no fun in life any more.
Could it be that you are that kind of man that wanted her to be totally indebted to you?
That would not release a penny without turning it a hundred times?
That kept shoving it down her throat how hard you worked and expected the same of her?
That was looking after his siblings to the extent that your wife was made to feel that she had no role in your life?
... then somewhere along the line the marriage was too burdensome for her, and you too meant nothing to her.

Women need love and tenderness. You can`t marry a woman and expect her just to function like a machine. Women don`t need a man that tells them they are not capable or that he made them what they are.

For he mother to encourage her daughter in such circumstances to come home, means that there is something you are doing that is very wrong.


Maybe you didn`t loose some here but you just blew it!

OP, you know what? It's awfully easy for you to come and pour out your tale of woe and for us to tell you your wife is evil.

If a guy came and told my story, everyone would call me evil. If I came and shared that same story, all the men would be silent because women will be screaming for their blood.

If you are tuly the Head of your house and Commander in Chief of your Home, please answer this honestly to yourself:

Have you done EVERYTHING humanly possible to solve the issues casusing this wahala in your home?

Because you came and told us your wife's behaviour, her past, you painted your past in warm wonderful light and presented a tale where she would look at fault. I truly don't belive any person, male or female would suddenly wake up and act like this.

Please search yourself, then approach her as a friend and fix your marriage. Both of you are sad and hurting, now is the time for you to be a Man (be a leader).

Loose that woman and let her go.

mutter:


You also need to ask yourself where you could have gone wrong.
Some self made men that had a hard time growing up are very bitter and see no fun in life any more.
Could it be that you are that kind of man that wanted her to be totally indebted to you?
That would not release a penny without turning it a hundred times?
That kept shoving it down her throat how hard you worked and expected the same of her?
That was looking after his siblings to the extent that your wife was made to feel that she had no role in your life?
... then somewhere along the line the marriage was too burdensome for her, and you too meant nothing to her.

Women need love and tenderness. You can`t marry a woman and expect her just to function like a machine. Women don`t need a man that tells them they are not capable or that he made them what they are.

For he mother to encourage her daughter in such circumstances to come home, means that there is something you are doing that is very wrong.


Maybe you didn`t loose some here but you just blew it!

True before you give up look inwards as to how you contributed to the break down of your home. Loving her is not enough maybe you think your actions show love but to her your actions are hard and unkind and it could just be true that she is an unappreciative woman so maybe you teach her how to appreciate you and all the good things you want from her.

All the best.

Another marriage brouhahaha

KanwuliaJara:
A separation is in order.
Let her go, for you cannot force genuine love or friendship.
Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.


People get restless in marriages. . . when poverty is not involved.
Your 'wife' has had a very disadvantaged background. . .and may only have felt a sense of indebtedness to you because of her lack of financial stability. She may have only married you on that account and feels trapped having realized SHE IS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
She needs to grow up emotionally and mentally.
She is not yet a woman, despite the fact she has children and is married.
You married a CHILD WITH NO OPTIONS IN LIFE BECAUSE OF POVERTY!!!!

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Such is life. It is complicated!
Obladi. . .Oblada
LIFE GOES ON.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5h2izGG-Y

Thumbs up for this advice and its the best i have read on this forum for a very long time! If only the OP can listen to you. KanwuliaJara, please always keep open your fountain of wisdom so as to inspire those who seems to have hit-rock-bottom with ideas on how to solve their marital crisis. Sometimes, some marital crisis sorts its self out over time. wisdom and common sense are still a virtue in such situations.

RollingFella:


Thumbs up for this advice and its the best i have read on this forum for a very long time! If only the OP can listen to you. KanwuliaJara, please always keep open your fountain of wisdom so as to inspire those who seems to have hit-rock-bottom with ideas on how to solve their marital crisis. Sometimes, some marital crisis sorts its self out over time. wisdom and common sense are still a virtue in such situations.

Thank you.
Very true.

jameslucy:
Having known her each time I visited my mum on holidays (who had divorced my dad since I was 6years old). In December 2006 we started dating. Her parents have also been seperated since she was 9. Her mum raised her and her 3 other siblings to SSCE level & couldn't help again. Life was not easy for me too as I sponsored myself through the University. After graduation, I went into taxi driving to survive while I seek greener pastures, and with it I sponsored her university education till graduation-alone. We wedded and have 2girls-5yrs & 8months. But my wife disrespects me, refuses to work to support me, does not care if I'v eaten or not or if I'm exhausted, tells me boldly that she doesn't care about our marriage, etc. I was compelled this evening to tell her to go to her mum if she's tired & feel life is better there than my best here. Her mum had encouraged her once to return if she wishes. She might be leaving 2morro. I love her but can't stand the troubles anymore. My mum warned me about her disrespectfulness-I didn't listen! Please advice me!

A foundation once destroyed, what can the righteous do?
The thing that made her mother divorced is fighting her but she will not realise until it is late.

Let her go if dat will make u happy nd give u peace of mind.Marriage is nt a do or die affair.

KanwuliaJara:
A separation is in order.
Let her go, for you cannot force genuine love or friendship.
Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.


People get restless in marriages. . . when poverty is not involved.
Your 'wife' has had a very disadvantaged background. . .and may only have felt a sense of indebtedness to you because of her lack of financial stability. She may have only married you on that account and feels trapped having realized SHE IS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
She needs to grow up emotionally and mentally.
She is not yet a woman, despite the fact she has children and is married.
You married a CHILD WITH NO OPTIONS IN LIFE BECAUSE OF POVERTY!!!!

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Such is life. It is complicated!
Obladi. . .Oblada
LIFE GOES ON.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5h2izGG-Y

hmm, this is just unfair

when very intelligent people deliberately choose to display insanity 90% percent of their time online.

[quote author=KanwuliaJara post=30680150]A separation is in order.
Let her go, for you cannot force genuine love or friendship.
Love is like a bird. . . let it fly. . . if it is yours, it would come back to you IN PEACE OR PIECES.
Nothing stays the same. . . things only get better or WORSE.
No one should have the key to your happiness or emotional stability.
If you choose to be unhappy on account of ANYONE. . . it is YOUR CHOICE.


People get restless in marriages. . . when poverty is not involved.
Your 'wife' has had a very disadvantaged background. . .and may only have felt a sense of indebtedness to you because of her lack of financial stability. She may have only married you on that account and feels trapped having realized SHE IS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
She needs to grow up emotionally and mentally.
She is not yet a woman, despite the fact she has children and is married.
You married a CHILD WITH NO OPTIONS IN LIFE BECAUSE OF POVERTY!!!!

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Such is life. It is complicated!
Obladi. . .Oblada
LIFE GOES ON.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5h2izGG-Y
[/quote




I Can't belief this day will come that I will read your comment like five good times over and over again ma'am

This is just the best I ever read from you. The analogy of love is like a bird is so inspiring,thanks ma'am.

You even saw her through the university.. What sort of stress ?

Hehe. Ladies !

Women are the most ungrateful beings on earth.

Any guy who says he wants to train a girl through school so that she will become his wife and respect him is on a very long thing..

Sorry sir..

Try to reason wit her to stay and if the situation is same..,allow her go so u can focus on workin hard nd takin care of d kids.....,,Obladi Oblada!

getting married to ladies raised by single mothers na wahala jare

Is marriage scary or is it scary??