MarvellousGod:
She has been your fiancee for 6years ??

Smiles, yes 6 years, the relationship started when they were in 100L.

I will like to thank everyone that tended to my question. It was bothering me and I had no one to talk to.
I did as you said, still heartbroken but glad I got my money back. He tried to chase those items up but he doesnt know where I am, he even got his parents to blow up my phone, although I was afraid but I stood my ground and dint even answer them. Then they backed off.
I was able to take an apartment in another city and paid the required deposit which had been why I even managed such an abusive person in the first place.
Looking forward to working and adding to my portfolio in my self employed business :-]
The worst part of that relationship was that I always felt he's going to kill me one day due to his temper ..I've been looking for a way out! Thank God for me life now :d

Shiningmama:


Thanks dear, God bless you.
I didn't inform anyone I want to leave, it was when the mum noticed we weren't doing as we used to that she asked him what happened. And he said I can't stop him from chatting with his female friends, though he had affairs with them one time or the other but he can't say because of me he will stop chatting with them.
I expained to the mum thaat all what I need is for him to just respect me once he is at home. He should postpone the chat till next dayy at his office when I won't be there. Atimes, these women will send messages, maybe if he didn't reply on time, they will call to tell him to come online, I will see the name of the caller. From there I was able to get their names and no. I saved it on my phone. Whenever he is online on whatsapp, they will be online too.
He got upset when I told him in the presence of his mum to respect me when he is at home by not chhatting with them. He said and I quote“ in that case, then you have to leave my house becos can't becos of you stop chatting with them. What do u have to offer me, they have lots of things to offer” end of quote
I then asked if leave what of my children, that was when the mother replied that I didn't bring children here bla. Bla bla

iwatch:

Hmm.. you are surprised ? one time my ex and I quarrelled . He said get out of my house!!, he dint let me pick up a pant or shoes . I was dyeing my hair wearing a spag top and small short & no phone when he pushed me vigorously to get out. I twisted my neck in the process and I walked cold and bare footed for a mile!
I will go into a new relationship with my eyes opened.

GoldenDr:
Please always educate them at the slightest opportunity you have. It is very crazy out there. The rate of desperation is my gosh!!!as a result of pressure from family, society, workplace and even church... Yes, church(yourl read that right. Let me drop this.

I have a friend although am older than him and he asked me about him going into marriage. And I ask him a few questions. Do you have a house? Can you feed yourself comfortable to surplus? Do you have a steady source of income? He only answered in the affirmative to the first one but was quick to tell me he would not marry in a one room accommodation because he needs privacy.

Fast forward to today... He got his girlfriend pregnant(maybe because his friends were getting married- through baby mama or pressure from the girl) she delivered through cs which cost 180k and as we speak no steady source of income, his rent is due and likely to be ejected.
My point, nobody, I repeat nobody should pressure you into getting married either out of frustration, pity or otherwise. I know God will attend to his situation.... Amen.
Marriage is not courtship or dating.. It is a serious institution and MUST be prepared emotionally, financially and psychologically before getting married and please ensure the man do the necessary thing, paying your dowry or bride price.

That's why I can't marry a liability QED!

MymothersKeeper:
I will like to thank everyone that tended to my question. It was bothering me and I had no one to talk to.
I did as you said, still heartbroken but glad I got my money back. He tried to chase those items up but he doesnt know where I am, he even got his parents to blow up my phone, although I was afraid but I stood my ground and dint even answer them. Then they backed off.
I was able to take an apartment in another city and paid the required deposit which had been why I even managed such an abusive person in the first place.
Looking forward to working and adding to my portfolio in my self employed business :-]
The worst part of that relationship was that I always felt he's going to kill me one day due to his temper ..I've been looking for a way out! Thank God for me life now :d

Good for you.How did you get him to pay up?
Don't rush into the next relationship,it's okay to be without a man for a while.Try and get to know the man first before diving deep.
You'll overcome the heartbreak.All the best.

digitsolution:


I really want to help, I have tried to talk to him severally to let go and focus on the future of the union and also the future of their kids. But he keeps asking questions I don't know the answers to. And seriously I know his wife very well and apart from the advert the husband does for her, personally I can't believe she did what he claimed she did, this woman is too pious and gentle....

Never be carried away by physical attributes of a woman because you don't see what the mind says. What if I tell you that someone on this thread is getting married soon to another guy to which I was never aware of until my friend called me to see. We had been dating for some months now but I never knew she had another guy elsewhere. In fact, based on my calculation, she has been with the guy long before she met me. I have been reading with silence and smiling. We still met a few weeks ago, yet she didn't mention it to me and I also feigned ignorance.

That's life brother, that's fvcking life. Do I feel hurt? NAH! Boys have learned to be smart long ago. I only feel sorry for the dude she will end up with who thinks she is "innocent" and if he can't give her like I did or do, she will definitely cheat on him. It's very obvious in her person. Nuff said

gleatz:
True or false?

Sex.
Children.
Money.
Companionship.
Reasons why people get married.
In that list, the most important for me is companionship.
Someone I can really talk to.
Someone who gets me. Someone who I can journey with into old age.
It's not about crazy sex.
Sex doesn't guarantee anything
It's not about children and definitely NOT money.
That is for lazy women who are leeches.
Children, any sperm donor can give me that or I can just easily adopt.
My most important craving in a relationship is companionship.
Remove that from the mix and I'll get frustrated.

Oh well, will you consider marrying him if he can give you that companionship but broker than broken bottle?

fxbot:
Never be carried away by physical attributes of a woman because you don't see what the mind says. What if I tell you that someone on this thread is getting married soon to another guy to which I was never aware of until my friend called me to see. We had been dating for some months now but I never knew she had another guy elsewhere. In fact, based on my calculation, she has been with the guy long before she met me. I have been reading with silence and smiling. We still met a few weeks ago, yet she didn't mention it to me and I also feigned ignorance.

That's life brother, that's fvcking life. Do I feel hurt? NAH! Boys have learned to be smart long ago. I only feel sorry for the dude she will end up with who thinks she is "innocent" and if he can't give her like I did or do, she will definitely cheat on him. It's very obvious in her person. Nuff said

Really, this is serious...

fxbot:
Never be carried away by physical attributes of a woman because you don't see what the mind says. What if I tell you that someone on this thread is getting married soon to another guy to which I was never aware of until my friend called me to see. We had been dating for some months now but I never knew she had another guy elsewhere. In fact, based on my calculation, she has been with the guy long before she met me. I have been reading with silence and smiling. We still met a few weeks ago, yet she didn't mention it to me and I also feigned ignorance.

That's life brother, that's fvcking life. Do I feel hurt? NAH! Boys have learned to be smart long ago. I only feel sorry for the dude she will end up with who thinks she is "innocent" and if he can't give her like I did or do, she will definitely cheat on him. It's very obvious in her person. Nuff said

Omo, girls r nt smiling o

Regenerated:

Yes, but one has to take a decision, however, at this time, the person involve is at a crossroad, he wants to wait for a better job, but the lady involve doesn't see the reason to,she believes they can start with whatever they have!

SEE eh... he should let the girl go... In my book, I can't bring a child into this world to suffer. My late mother gave me the best and I can't give lesser to my child. What is 28k? Money wey I go blow in less than 7days, if I am being frugal ooo. On normal day, it can get burnt in one day!

Omo 28k no reach to buy anything ooo. House rent, feeding, transport, then come think of Baby food. Tufiakwa! I will never try it!

And I am very sure the same girl pushing him now does not have anything doing... meaning all burden will rest on him so tey him go old pass him grand papa.

I am just being realistic o. 100K and above should be where u can start thinking of settling down. Imagine if you earn 100k and the girl u wanna marry earn 100k...the burden becomes lesser.

iwatch:
SEE eh... he should let the girl go... In my book, I can't bring a child into this world to suffer. My late mother gave me the best and I can't give lesser to my child. What is 28k? Money wey I go blow in less than 7days, if I am being frugal ooo. On normal day, it can get burnt in one day!

Omo 28k no reach to buy anything ooo. House rent, feeding, transport, then come think of Baby food. Tufiakwa! I will never try it!

And I am very sure the same girl pushing him now does not have anything doing... meaning all burden will rest on him so tey him go old pass him grand papa.

I am just being realistic o. 100K and above should be where u can start thinking of settling down. Imagine if you earn 100k and the girl u wanna marry earn 100k...the burden becomes lesser.

omo you dey provoke o! I would have love the ladies to answer him.

Chinum:




Omo, girls r nt smiling o

At all. My ex was dating myself and the guy she got married to at the same time and on many occasion I asked her who he was, she said, he is just a friend.
74.5% of Nigeian girls are quadriple dating, same for the men- infact the men are more and the desperate ones are say 23%- they do nt want to know if you have HiV , aid, epelptic, even if you are medically compatible, all they want is to get married irrespective of your religion, creed and beliefs.
They are not even ready to plan with you, the number of kids, projects and investments to make... THEY JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED.

GoldenDr:
at all. My ex was dating myself and the guy she got married to at the same time and on many occasion I asked her whonhe was, she said, he is just a friend.

Epele o

I guess it has to do with nt putting all ur eggs in one basket.

Some guys r guilty of this as well.

thorpido:
Good for you.How did you get him to pay up?
Don't rush into the next relationship,it's okay to be without a man for a while.Try and get to know the man first before diving deep.
You'll overcome the heartbreak.All the best.

Omo it's not easy oo, I will reqoute you later when I open a laptop & add a link to the page, you can read. Thanks!

iwatch:
SEE eh... he should let the girl go... In my book, I can't bring a child into this world to suffer. My late mother gave me the best and I can't give lesser to my child. What is 28k? Money wey I go blow in less than 7days, if I am being frugal ooo. On normal day, it can get burnt in one day!

Omo 28k no reach to buy anything ooo. House rent, feeding, transport, then come think of Baby food. Tufiakwa! I will never try it!

And I am very sure the same girl pushing him now does not have anything doing... meaning all burden will rest on him so tey him go old pass him grand papa.

I am just being realistic o. 100K and above should be where u can start thinking of settling down. Imagine if you earn 100k and the girl u wanna marry earn 100k...the burden becomes lesser.

They can get married and delay child bearing

fxbot:
Never be carried away by physical attributes of a woman because you don't see what the mind says. What if I tell you that someone on this thread is getting married soon to another guy to which I was never aware of until my friend called me to see. We had been dating for some months now but I never knew she had another guy elsewhere. In fact, based on my calculation, she has been with the guy long before she met me. I have been reading with silence and smiling. We still met a few weeks ago, yet she didn't mention it to me and I also feigned ignorance.

That's life brother, that's fvcking life. Do I feel hurt? NAH! Boys have learned to be smart long ago. I only feel sorry for the dude she will end up with who thinks she is "innocent" and if he can't give her like I did or do, she will definitely cheat on him. It's very obvious in her person. Nuff said

o ga o.

How is this done?

Yadoctora:

They can get married and delay child bearing

hmmmm Okay oooo. Does that mean they wont be having sex? PLease enlighten me. How can they delay child bearing without/with sex?

Yadoctora:

They can get married and delay child bearing

don't you think the family of the boy would start thinking otherwise and a little pressure from the mother-inlaw would make her want to succumb to pressure.

GoldenDr:
don't you think the family of the boy would start thinking otherwise and a little pressure from the mother-inlaw would make her want to succumb to pressure.

Is she not an adult?

Once she and her husband are a team on this, she has nothing to fear. This is a decision they have to take before marriage.

iwatch:
hmmmm Okay oooo. Does that mean they wont be having sex? PLease enlighten me. How can they delay child bearing without/with sex?

Same way many teenagers in high school have been doing it without getting pregnant.

Many couples have been doing it n actually have succeeded. As long as both couples know what they r doing tho. Cos it takes some guts not to listen to the "whr r my grandchildren" kind of talks.

iwatch:
hmmmm Okay oooo. Does that mean they wont be having sex? PLease enlighten me. How can they delay child bearing without/with sex?

Contraception.

The knowledge of contraception is limited among Nigerians. Let them speak with their doctor on the preferred choice of contraception.
From natural, to Oral contraceptives, IUCD, implants. There's a variety to choose from.

Chinum:


Same way many teenagers in high school have been doing it without getting pregnant.

Many couples have been doing it n actually have succeeded. As long as both couples know what they r doing tho. Cos it takes some guts not to listen to the "whr r my grandchildren" kind of talks.

lol

Yadoctora:

Contraception.

The knowledge of contraception is limited among Nigerians. Let them speak with their doctor on the preferred choice of contraception.
From natural, to Oral contraceptives, IUCD, implants. There's a variety to choose from.

I did biology in school and I haven't forgotten the top "RE-PRO-DUC-TION" That topic that makes boys and girls in class to start unclothing each other imaginary as they look at themselves

I am aware of the contraception sha... just fooling around.

GoldenDr:
At all. My ex was dating myself and the guy she got married to at the same time and on many occasion I asked her who he was, she said, he is just a friend.
74.5% of Nigeian girls are quadriple dating, same for the men- infact the men are more and the desperate ones are say 23%- they do nt want to know if you have HiV , aid, epelptic, even if you are medically compatible, all they want is to get married irrespective of your religion, creed and beliefs.
They are not even ready to plan with you, the number of kids, projects and investments to make... THEY JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED.

It is well

iwatch:
I did biology in school and I haven't forgotten the top "RE-PRO-DUC-TION" That topic that makes boys and girls in class to start unclothing each other imaginary as they look at themselves

I am aware of the contraception sha... just fooling around.

Yeye

@28K salary, where in Nigeria are they/intend to settle?
Believe it or not, there are people in Naija that survive on that kinda money. If the wife also makes about 20K, they can start something, but they must be ready to eat rice without chicken sometimes

Chinum:


Yeye

na u I use am resemble na...

Chinum:


Yeye

come, na by force, I NO wan kiss ur lips

Evina, my precious iyawo, the best of the lot, I hail ooo.

iwatch:
come, na by force, I NO wan kiss ur lips

Singing, "I am a blessed child, I am a blessed child, Jesus made me a blessed child, I am a blessed child"

@motherskeeper
Am proud of you gal. That's a laudable move you made there. Believe me other things woud fall in place, just keep being focus. Don't even bother venturing into any rship now, until you ve cleared ur head of the mess @ hand.

I see you being a better, stronger & wiser babe!
Kudos dearie. Remember that there are a thousand and one nice and great guys out there.
Set ur priorities right NOW!

More grace!