Pelmet:
The rate at which these things happen is appalling. Wouldn't wanna narrate my. Own ordeal, but it's 'bout time men realise that they are meant to provide for the Family and a woman's earnings should only be "extra". The movie "Courageous" Says it all.

Sammiejokes:


ITS HER DREAM HUSBAND JARE. MARRIED WOMEN WITH FANTASY

ferdimako:

everything has changed. Appreciate one of u have the means... in some homes no nobody has or no man sef.

Votukpa:
Most ladies on this thread feel like marriage is equivalent to earning a workhorse (husband).

Stop feeling like that.

When a man maries to himself a women, she now belongs to him. Yall aint gone like this but its true.

Her ability to produce wealth isnt for herself anymore but for him. If I buy a horse to help me do work, of course im gonna feed the horse, care for it, be nice to it and make sure its strong and healthy. If it produces an income, do I not have all the rights to all of it?

Most ladies think marriage is a cakewalk, a blissful bed of roses and a holiday.

No it isnt.

U women were created for men to help them.you are meant to be an asset to men , NOT the other way round. As men we are to derive all sorts of benefits from having a wife. "He who finds a wife finds a GOOD things and Obtains blessings, favour benefits..." dont forget ladies. Men dont actually need women for much but the feminine imperative has made social conventioms to trap men into thinking that the almighty pussy if not had, will bring sjame loneliness and desperation into his life.

Hogwash.

This not women bashing so conceal ur weapons. This is the truth. If you dont want to give ur self sacrificiallly in love to a man and children., please remain in your father's house permanently and watch your flower wither away into oblivion, never to be desired by a man, not even for a cheap bang.

You mad? Sorry. That's the way it is.

Some may ask why does it have to this way? Well, it been given to men to rule over women. Nuff said.

ferdimako:

una still dey wear skirts?

missjenna:
This is a very serious issue.
I experienced similar when I was growing up. My dad was a business man while my mum was a graduate without a job. My dad was very hardworking and he would always leave the house early in the morning and come back home at late evenings all in the bid to cater for his family

I noticed that as soon as my mum got a job, he kind of became lazy. He wasn't going to work early as before and he began taking unnecessary breaks from work.
This led to problems in both his business and marriage.

I just used this story to express my thoughts. Husbands, when they see that their wives have a source of income tend to feel that a burden has been lifted off their shoulders and they kind of relax, which isn't supposed to be so

Definitely the wife should take on some of the financial responsibilities, after all marriage is a kind partnership relationship. But this shouldn't mean that the husband should use this as an avenue to prey on the wife

In my own opinion, I think the financial responsibilities should be shared based on the income strength of both husband and wife.

Thanks

Nicklaus:

Blitz888:
A man 'Manning up' is about being alive to your responsibilities. Men who abdicate their responsibilities are not fit to be called men.
I was raised in a male dominated environment with brothers and uncles everywhere call it a Testosterone filled atmosphere and you won't be wrong. We were raised to take grt pleasure in catering to and securing our dependents wifey inclusive. How can I ever live with myself if I can't be the man in my house.. I blame it on their fathers who raise them to be this irresponsible. After all, if I don't take care of her who will? o ha ka'm na gbara mbo!

urchbarbie:
Oh dear me! I was just goin to stay ghostmode n enjoy dis thread till I came across dis shittyyy comment. Ure educated, yes dat I can see from ur writeup. Wat I don't understnd is why u ceased to comprehend d bible passage u quoted. Kai! The woman is d asset of her husband? Yes we gree. But whr u lost me is in ur intial argument whr ladies feel a husband is a workhorse and a woman remmitting her earnings cos she is her husbands "horse"
My dear, if ure a christain as u quotes d scriptures well, try rembr d encounter in d garden of eden.
A man is the "workhorse" of any home, dat was y God says Adam wld toil d earth ..............and d woman wld labour to bring forth her young one.
Nna! Take up ur responsiblity. Its been dere since d time of old

njays24:
Pls help me ask the men o! The day my husband took my ATM without my consent,he checked my account balance and came home and dangled my atm in my face and shouted "aye o",that was the end of extra money for me,just house-keeping money alone,no more extras.

precisionindepth:
wao, D's thinking is so out of it.

veave:

missjenna:
This is a very serious issue.
I experienced similar when I was growing up. My dad was a business man while my mum was a graduate without a job. My dad was very hardworking and he would always leave the house early in the morning and come back home at late evenings all in the bid to cater for his family

I noticed that as soon as my mum got a job, he kind of became lazy. He wasn't going to work early as before and he began taking unnecessary breaks from work.
This led to problems in both his business and marriage.

I just used this story to express my thoughts. Husbands, when they see that their wives have a source of income tend to feel that a burden has been lifted off their shoulders and they kind of relax, which isn't supposed to be so

Definitely the wife should take on some of the financial responsibilities, after all marriage is a kind partnership relationship. But this shouldn't mean that the husband should use this as an avenue to prey on the wife

In my own opinion, I think the financial responsibilities should be shared based on the income strength of both husband and wife.

Thanks

mekybabe1:
Sometimes I blame the woman. No matter how rich she is, do not show it. Men love to be in charge and when you make them feel you can be in charge too, they "take a seat and watch". My dad did same too, my friends had same story to tell so I didn't let that happen to me. Till date, my hubby doesn't know how much I earn. He pays the rent,kids fees, repairs the cars, gives me food allowance and all I do is "support" eg. I go the market with the money given to me and if I see anything else we might need at home, I use my money without even letting him know. If I see lovely toys or clothes for the kids, I buy them with my money. He tried to complain once, but I told him it's a taboo in my place for a woman to feed her family and take up a man's responsibilities . So he got used to it except of course, if he doesn't have a job( God forbid!) and I will definitely take over from where he stopped . Quote author=CrazyMan post=30997557]A very good morning to you all, and I'm guessing you all had a great weekend.

I was with a female cousin of mine yesterday (married) and she was lamenting to me how her has husband has annoyingly stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family.

She said she now has to hide her money from him most times cos whenever he discovers she has any, he distances himself from any form of financial responsibilities that concerns the family.

The reason when I inquired started fully when she handed over a cheque from her personal account to the caretaker in regards to their rent.

She said she and her husband had a discussion the night before, and he promised her that she would be reimbursed if she settles the rent, but changed suddenly when she paid the money.

Now that I've paid the rent, he doesn't drop a penny in the house she told me. She's the one practically shouldering all the financial responsibilities. Ranging from their kids expenses to kitchen expenses to house expenses which include NEPA bills, purchase of water for their geepee tank...etc.

According to her, she only has a rough idea of what her husband earns and very little idea of what he spends it on.

I know some men are irresponsible but this case supersedes irresponsibility. I prefer to tag the man an over grown baby. Someone who has refused to mature.

As a man I believe its your responsibility to provide for your family regardless of the kind of job your wife does. You wife is there for support and not for you to abandon your responsibilities for. Every man should always bear that in mind.

What do you guys thing?

CrazyMan:
A very good morning to you all, and I'm guessing you all had a great weekend.

I was with a female cousin of mine yesterday (married) and she was lamenting to me how her has husband has annoyingly stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family.

She said she now has to hide her money from him most times cos whenever he discovers she has any, he distances himself from any form of financial responsibilities that concerns the family.

The reason when I inquired started fully when she handed over a cheque from her personal account to the caretaker in regards to their rent.

She said she and her husband had a discussion the night before, and he promised her that she would be reimbursed if she settles the rent, but changed suddenly when she paid the money.

Now that I've paid the rent, he doesn't drop a penny in the house she told me. She's the one practically shouldering all the financial responsibilities. Ranging from their kids expenses to kitchen expenses to house expenses which include NEPA bills, purchase of water for their geepee tank...etc.

According to her, she only has a rough idea of what her husband earns and very little idea of what he spends it on.

I know some men are irresponsible but this case supersedes irresponsibility. I prefer to tag the man an over grown baby. Someone who has refused to mature.

As a man I believe its your responsibility to provide for your family regardless of the kind of job your wife does. You wife is there for support and not for you to abandon your responsibilities for. Every man should always bear that in mind.

What do you guys thing?

Daresh:
I have to say thank God for my husband o! For all the foolish things he has done in our married lives he has never pushed the financial burden to me. I know he will even wash plates and clean toilets sef to make sure we are catered for.

njays24:
Pls help me ask the men o! The day my husband took my ATM without my consent,he checked my account balance and came home and dangled my atm in my face and shouted "aye o",that was the end of extra money for me,just house-keeping money alone,no more extras.

njays24:
Pls help me ask the men o! The day my husband took my ATM without my consent,he checked my account balance and came home and dangled my atm in my face and shouted "aye o",that was the end of extra money for me,just house-keeping money alone,no more extras.

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

mutter:
A man cater for the family with the help of the woman.


It is wrong to think that the man ha to carry all the financial burden and responsibilities.
In some cases the women earn nearly a much or even more than the men.

Men have huge responsibilities. Their parent and extended family, investing and so much more.

Why should it be an issue for the woman to have paid a rent?
Since I am also self employed apart from my job my husband never really knows how much I earn. But I always let him know and even give him most of the money for the home. He was and still is very reluctant but I insist.

I love that man so much I could not bear to let him struggle through all the responsibilities alone.
Because my husband is really mostly focused on the home and the family back home, it does not bother me at all. If you love a man, then you want to support him as much as you can. It has been that way since we married and it works for us.
However I must admit that it was not very easy. At a stage my husband was shouldering too many responsibilities at the expense of the kid`S. We solved it like we sole all serious issues. Written contact between us. We reach a compromise and put it in writing. It really works.

I just make sure I keep enough money back to be able to indulge my kid`s once in a while

Chilug:

And what kind of husband does that? Washing plate. Shh!

mikanju:



Painfully this kind of situation is quite common these days. Most married women you see around are the bread winners of their family but you will never know .You got to know about your cousins case cos she is your cousin.I bet you that her friends and neigbours don't know this.
This even happens in relationships.In one on my relationships I made sure my partner is not aware of how much I have saved,not that I ever make demands from him but the guilt almost killed me.I decided not to carry that same mentality to my other relationship and that was my biggest mistake.Maybe the other guy thought I was a fool.He did not know that I am releiving myself of a burden.He earns more than I do but the money is never enough for him as he complains everytime.Ever since he knew my account,the story has changed.I think I agrre with what someone said that part of the cause can be traced to their upbringing.There is nothing bad helping your partner but him totally negleting his responsibility can be very painful but what can we do? Our mothers faced more than that.
This has got me crying several times and I have vowed that money will never be the source of my saddness.What is the essense of having money and hidding it from your spouse? What joy will it give you knowing that your family is in financial crisis and you have that money but you hide it from your husband? I for one,my conscience will kill me.And if you do that,even you that owns the money will never be happy.I pray to marry a responsible man in all aspect of marriage.A man that knows that taking care of the family is a mans job and that is why they are called the head of the family.But if the table turns,I will gladly take care of my family and kids.I will do it happily and enjoy myself while doing so cos life is to short to start hidding money up and down,life is too short to make the little God has blessed you with to become a burden.But never again will my boyfriend know how much I have,even he is in any financial mess,he should sort it out himself.Because if you look at it very well,all this men that turn out to be like that in marriage are mostly the ones that spends ladies money during courtship.It is better I don't see that tendency in him at all than to see it but still go ahead to marry him out of desperation thinking that he would change.He won't change,he will only get worse! A word is enough for the wise!

precisionindepth:
next u will hear ds so called men saying girls like money whereas most of dem are downright irresponsible. experiences abound....Irresponsible, skirt wearing men!