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What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) - Family - Nairaland

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What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Kassidy90(m): 12:33am On Feb 27, 2015
Hello to all the good mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters here, please i need your urgent help on a very critical matter, as they always say that every family has has its own black sheep, my nephew has been a serious source of pains to my family since he clock 9yrs, now 12yrs sometimes he can disappeared frm home for 2-3days, comitting all sort of atrocities in the neighborhood but main issue nw is that he ran away frm home since abt 11months ago stealing about 40k now due to the incident at Oshodi he was arrested along with some of his friends so they asked him to call his family to come n bail him which he did few minutes ago but my concern nw is that if we bail him tomorrw is there any juvenile home we can take him to in lagos for rehabilitation because there is no guaranteed that he wont still run away in few days once we take him back home, please i need ur advice on this issue please...thanks
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by iphanyiuma(m): 12:40am On Feb 27, 2015
Snap him,put him on olx and sell it!!!

4 Likes

Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Kassidy90(m): 12:45am On Feb 27, 2015
iphanyiuma:
Snap him,put him on olx and sell it!!!
am talking about issue that made my mum become hypertensive and my sister almost lost everythin she has worked for in her lyf n this all u can come up with..anyway its nt ur fault ....isu eni ni o mu ni to wo bo epo

3 Likes

Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by iphanyiuma(m): 12:50am On Feb 27, 2015
Kassidy90:

am talking about issue that made my mum become hypertensive and my sister almost lost everythin she has worked for in her lyf n this all u can come up with..anyway its nt ur fault ....isu eni ni o mu ni to wo bo epo
ok take him to church na let them pray for him...only God can change a man in seconds
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by asadike(f): 1:14am On Feb 27, 2015
How was his upbringing like? Was he trained in and with d fear of God or was he spared d rod? He is 12 now but its not too late. Take him to a true bible believing church for prayers and deliverance, never stop praying for him. No going to school yet, restrict his movement. Make rules for him including work rules, be strict and make sure he follows it. Teach him how to be productive , take him along to bible study and prayer meetings, show him love but be firm and never stop praying for him. All d best

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Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Kassidy90(m): 1:29am On Feb 27, 2015
asadike:
How was his upbringing like? Was he trained in and with d fear of God or was he spared d rod? He is 12 now but its not too late. Take him to a true bible believing church for prayers and deliverance, never stop praying for him. No going to school yet, restrict his movement. Make rules for him including work rules, be strict and make sure he follows it. Teach him how to be productive , take him along to bible study and prayer meetings, show him love but be firm and never stop praying for him. All d best
Thnk u very much Gob be with u n ur family
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Vision4God: 5:08am On Feb 27, 2015
Has he bn staying wt u since he was born? He nids dlivrance& clos monitoring frm watevr has overtaken him 2 bhave dat way.

Btw, hu are his frends?
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Nobody: 5:31am On Feb 27, 2015
Op, I read your post and I have this to say.

First of all, kids tend to be stubborn at this age-bracket, but when they grow older this character wears off them.
But in the case of your nephew, his is kind of showcasing too much of it for his age.

Op, does his family belong to any religion. If yes, then its advisable they pray earnestly about it. Or better still, take him to their religious leader for him to be prayed for.
His parents should also endeavor to read their religious book to him. If they are christians they should study the bible with him always. They should also get a bible for him so he can study on his own
The same case applies if they are muslims. They should study the quran with him always and teach him what the holy book says.

Also, I would advise his parents to make sure they engage him in religious activities.
If they are christians, then they should make sure he participates in church, children activities.
They should take him to bible study and prayer sessions.

I don't know the mechanism of parental training that the child is been given but I advise that the parents should try to talk to him more instead of using corporal punishment.
They should sit him down and tell him that this isn't how he should be behaving. That this character of his will lead him no where.

His parents should also try to show him love. Children respond well to this.
They should allow him know that they love him and they care a lot about him
Whenever he needs something, depending on how important and affordable it is, I think the parents should do their best to provide it for him

Does he have older siblings. If he does, then the siblings should help in their own way by showing good examples
I believe kids like this tend to copy behaviors from their older siblings. There are a lot of habits that my younger brother copied off me and I have seen the same instance in other families so I see no reason why it shouldn't work

The friends he keeps also plays another role. The parents should be watchful of the kind of friends he makes because the influence from peers has a lot to do with who a child grows up to become

And finally, I would advise the parents to take him to a better school.
I don't know their financial capabilities but I think they should try and take him to a school that focuses on building high academic and moral standards in children
Probably one of the private schools.

Op, I know this kid has put your family through a lot but I know that he can still change.
I hope I have been of help

Thanks and God bless
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Nobody: 7:11am On Feb 27, 2015
Kassidy90:
Hello to all the good mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters here, please i need your urgent help on a very critical matter, as they always say that every family has has its own black sheep, my nephew has been a serious source of pains to my family since he clock 9yrs, now 12yrs sometimes he can disappeared frm home for 2-3days, comitting all sort of atrocities in the neighborhood but main issue nw is that he ran away frm home since abt 11months ago stealing about 40k now due to the incident at Oshodi he was arrested along with some of his friends so they asked him to call his family to come n bail him which he did few minutes ago but my concern nw is that if we bail him tomorrw is there any juvenile home we can take him to in lagos for rehabilitation because there is no guaranteed that he wont still run away in few days once we take him back home, please i need ur advice on this issue please...thanks



Attack the problem from the root. Has anyone tried to talk to him lovingly? Or try to find out why he acts the way he does?. It may be his friends, he may need love and attention. Sit him down, talk to him with love. Explain to him how much his actions hurt his mother and family, let him see the sorrow for himself. Let the mother cry if she has to. The goal is to reach his hear, and appeal to his emotions. He is a child no matter what. If you dump him in a juvenile home or try to force him to change, you won't succeed. The change must come from his heart. Find out what he wants. Use love and discipline to break him.

Leave him in the police station for about one week. When you go, don't shout or beat him up that's what he is expecting and his heart is hardened in anticipation. Just conquer his heart with love.


Remember, love and discipline.
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Kassidy90(m): 7:25am On Feb 27, 2015
dicefrost:




Attack the problem from the root. Has anyone tried to talk to him lovingly? Or try to find out why he acts the way he does?. It may be his friends, he may need love and attention. Sit him down, talk to him with love. Explain to him how much his actions hurt his mother and family, let him see the sorrow for himself. Let the mother cry if she has to. The goal is to reach his hear, and appeal to his emotions. He is a child no matter what. If you dump him in a juvenile home or try to force him to change, you won't succeed. The change must come from his heart. Find out what he wants. Use love and discipline to break him.

Leave him in the police station for about one week. When you go, don't shout or beat him up that's what he is expecting and his heart is hardened in anticipation. Just conquer his heart with love.


Remember, love and discipline.
Thanks so much that is the same thing the police officers adviced they said we should no send him to any juvenile that we need is to keep prayin n show more love, but all i can say is that he never lack any of those tins being the first grandchild i even beleive my mum that him grandmum is over pampering him anyway i just pray he change for good
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Kassidy90(m): 7:28am On Feb 27, 2015
tnx so much will surely do dat, just got him released frm RRS custody
missjenna:
Op, I read your post and I have this to say.

First of all, kids tend to be stubborn at this age-bracket, but when they grow older this character wears off them.
But in the case of your nephew, his is kind of showcasing too much of it for his age.

Op, does his family belong to any religion. If yes, then its advisable they pray earnestly about it. Or better still, take him to their religious leader for him to be prayed for.
His parents should also endeavor to read their religious book to him. If they are christians they should study the bible with him always. They should also get a bible for him so he can study on his own
The same case applies if they are muslims. They should study the quran with him always and teach him what the holy book says.

Also, I would advise his parents to make sure they engage him in religious activities.
If they are christians, then they should make sure he participates in church, children activities.
They should take him to bible study and prayer sessions.

I don't know the mechanism of parental training that the child is been given but I advise that the parents should try to talk to him more instead of using corporal punishment.
They should sit him down and tell him that this isn't how he should be behaving. That this character of his will lead him no where.

His parents should also try to show him love. Children respond well to this.
They should allow him know that they love him and they care a lot about him
Whenever he needs something, depending on how important and affordable it is, I think the parents should do their best to provide it for him

Does he have older siblings. If he does, then the siblings should help in their own way by showing good examples
I believe kids like this tend to copy behaviors from their older siblings. There are a lot of habits that my younger brother copied off me and I have seen the same instance in other families so I see no reason why it shouldn't work

The friends he keeps also plays another role. The parents should be watchful of the kind of friends he makes because the influence from peers has a lot to do with who a child grows up to become

And finally, I would advise the parents to take him to a better school.
I don't know their financial capabilities but I think they should try and take him to a school that focuses on building high academic and moral standards in children
Probably one of the private schools.

Op, I know this kid has put your family through a lot but I know that he can still change.
I hope I have been of help

Thanks and God bless
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by slimyem: 9:07am On Feb 27, 2015
12 year old? I'd think that's quite young for these atrocities but then,it's 2015!
..and you mentioned he has been this way since he was 9?
I would not suggest he be sent to any Juvenile home o especially not one in this Nigeria. I don't trust the system. He might come back worse than he already is.
Do not take him for deliverance either.Is he a demon? C'mon,everything does not necessarily have a spiritual angle. Be careful else you a push him further away. The best place to be right now is his own home.

His reasons for running away all the time may or may not be explainable
Is he seeing it as an adventure or the key to freedom, where no one is going to tell him what to do? Responding to pressure from peers?
Could be a stressful situation the child is under, a fear of getting consequences for something he did, a form of power struggle or rebellion?not wanting to go to school? So many things can be underlying but the solution to deal with this lies with his parents.

Showing him they love him unconditionally by creating an atmosphere of acceptance no matter what,getting to know who his friends are and what they talk about, letting the child know they are interested in him and that they care-building a form of trust so he can always talk to them and depend on them.
It'll be a gradual process but it'll work.

All the best!

1 Like

Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by Nobody: 5:02pm On Feb 27, 2015
You may want to ask why its home he's running from?

Have you considered he may have been abused sexually and the perpetrator is in or near that home?

Also what's his mums marital status, have neighbourhood kids been bullying him on account of his mum

Or is it at school that the bullying is from

His antics are a cry for attention

Nip it in the bud before he does something so big that you will never forget
Re: What Can I Do With My Nephew (the Family's Black Sheep) by i1: 9:11am On Feb 28, 2015
there is a remand home for juvenile deliquents in Oregun beside Daystar christain center on Kudirat Abiola way. go and make your enquiries there.

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