busar:
I read from the first page down to this, most of the arguments were purely baseless and full of emotions.In islam, you don't allow your emotions overrides the laws of Allah.
We don't quite get reasons behind polygamy. Marrying a second wife doesn't mean the love the husband had for the wife has faded. There are numerous reasons why someone could take a second, third or fourth wives. Do not let your emotions overtake the laws of Allah. Allah says "It's not fitting for a believer, man or woman,when a matter has been decided by Allah and His messenger to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His messenger, he is indeed clearly on a wrong path(the path of hell)" suratul Ahzab vs 36.
May Allah make us among those that will listen to good word and follow the goodness in it.

Empiree:
You dont understand stuff.
His Private Life
A man can have resources, marry 4 wives, many children.

His Other Life
And at the same time, own businesses, have employees, own charity foundation, voluntary gives to miskin.

So are you telling me just because he has resources should only be invested on charity...that's?. You funny

Justfollowit:
@Empiree @Maclatunji

I know of women, including prominent Muslim women leaders whose husbands married other wives. Do you know what some of had to do before they could live with that decision? They had to pray and fast for God to remove the love they had shared together! (That is a secret for you). I guess you would prefer me doing that than advocating against selfish polygamy.

If you would rather that to fulfill your selfish desire, good. Then you should know that Allah bestowed every living thing the power to do and undo.

maclatunji:


I find your comments very worrisome, I repeat that your obsession with this issue is not healthy.

Justfollowit:


OK, I will stop obsessing about it.

But you are not addressing the issues

Justfollowit:


You misunderstood my post

If your reason to marry another wide is selfish, do not trust me to back you up. Such selfish reasons include love, how dare you claim to love someone else and at the same time love me. The second unjustifiable reason is money, if you think having a lot of money gives you the right to marry many wives then in you are aimoly inhumane wicked. Because what type of human would leave several poor Muslims and orphans to dispense his money for something so selfish while at it hurt the feelings of another human.

If I am reasoning with my emotions, what are the men who claim to want second wives on those two bases reasoning with o, the religion?

maclatunji:


He has a right to be selfish sister. The only thing we should bother about is if he is within Islamic guidance in doing so.

Justfollowit:


You misunderstood my post

If your reason to marry another wide is selfish, do not trust me to back you up. Such selfish reasons include love, how dare you claim to love someone else and at the same time love me. The second unjustifiable reason is money, if you think having a lot of money gives you the right to marry many wives then in you are aimoly inhumane wicked. Because what type of human would leave several poor Muslims and orphans to dispense his money for something so selfish while at it hurt the feelings of another human.

If I am reasoning with my emotions, what are the men who claim to want second wives on those two bases reasoning with o, the religion?

Justfollowit:


Like I had mentioned

If he has a right to be selfish, We also have a either to be selfish. Allah knew what he was doing when he mentioned ‘just'. If it were to bee really binding on us. He would have provided for it given the sensitivity of the matter. Did you read the part where I mentioned how it mentally changes some women (my mum became a ghost of herself), how some women end up being bedridden and how others pray to God to remove their husbands' love their hearts.

maclatunji:


You are mixing up issues, let me help you separate them.

The justice Allah requires of a Muslim man entering polygamy is to have the resources to cater for their needs and allocate them equally, this includes time and attention. A man is not required to love his wives equally just like parents don't love their children equally because it is practically impossible. It is only required that this preference does not become obvious by depriving the others of any of their rights.

Regarding polygamy affecting women adversely, it really has to do with their mentality. A woman who made it a condition that her husband should not marry a second wife before agreeing to marriage can seek divorce if he does so according to many scholars.

To be totally honest, if the husband still fulfills his duties to her and her children, it is better to take her mind of it and make it light.

It is when a woman insists on making it big in her heart that she feel be affected so adversely to the point of depreciation.

No one is saying it is easy but if we trust in Allah's will and wisdom, we won't suffer much.

The only entity that gets exactly what they want every time is Allah.

I have discovered where your anger is coming from (your mum's experience) but seriously, you have to grow out of that and think clearly on the issue.

Justfollowit:
Maclatunji

Do you know how expensive time is today?

Justfollowit:
Above all, I can understand why it is halal.

The non-Muslims would rather have mistresses and baby mamas than wife them. We can see how it had damaged the society at large.

I expect more from my Muslim brothers, Islam teaches us to be considerate. A good Muslim man would not do what he can do without especially if it is going to hurt someone.

maclatunji:


I don't understand the question sister.

Justfollowit:


Time is too expensive to waste. If my man is going to put more effort to putt
food down the table, the less time I get to spend with him. It would be unreasonable for me to yield that time to someone else. One of the essences of marriage is companionship and you can't build without lots and lots of time

maclatunji:


You are starting out on the wrong foot.

In Islam, a woman is not guaranteed to be the only wife of her husband. So, why go into marriage thinking that way?

Justfollowit:


Why won't I go into marriage thinking that way when it is not stated that men must marry more than one wife. Rather the verse gave them a discretionary option, they can choose to excercise it or ignore it and that includes entering into an agreement to whomever they choose.

maclatunji:


Even if he signs a prenuptial agreement with you not to marry a second wife, it doesn't guarantee he won't and if he does, there is no sanction for him. It only gives you grounds for divorce.

I agree with you that women should discuss this issue with their suitors but not with the mindset that you will get 100% guarantee that he won't marry a second woman.

That guarantee doesn’t exist. Your best chance is to find a man that doesn't fancy polygamy and hopefully maintain a happy marriage with him whilst praying he never gets to the point of wanting a second wife.

Justfollowit:


This sounds better

Empiree:
You try harder to get him to blend a little. You are too much wahala, ma'am

Justfollowit:


Do you disagree with him

I am not o

Empiree:
No, he made fair comment

Yareey:
How do kids react when their father marries another lady? I mean teenagers/young adults. Most men fear losing love/respect of their children more then their wife. Kids make good use of that in our culture.

Justfollowit:


I wouldn't

It is between both of them not me unless if it one way or the other affects me

Yareey:

You 20 years or older I take. Im talking about teenagers 18 < years old.

I disagree that it's just between them. Something like polygamy effects everyone in the family.