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Five things Nigerian Pastors do - Religion (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Mishydoo(m): 9:05pm On Mar 02, 2015
Cityguy:

Mr man, you am sorry for you. A more rational and lucid answer was proposed earlier. Keep this your schizophrenogenic and mono-abusive 'dambass' word to yourself. And to think you are shouting it on a forum like this is really pathetic. I wish you quick recovery and bye.



All dis grammar cos I call u small dumb.ass,...ur gud use of d words "liar schizophrenic,mono-abusive,irrational,pathetic,loud.etc..... shows ur nt dumb so sorry bt dat.

Bt u still an A$$ sha...and its a diagnosis.so u may want to consult ur physician fr medication.
You can Thank me latter.... grin grin
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Cityguy: 9:17pm On Mar 02, 2015
Mishydoo:




All dis grammar cos I call u small dumb.ass,...ur gud use of d words "liar schizophrenic,mono-abusive,irrational,pathetic,loud.etc..... shows ur nt dumb so sorry bt dat.

Bt u still an A$$ sha...and its a diagnosis.so u may want to consult ur physician fr medication.
You can Thank me latter.... grin grin
Hahahahahaha. Now I gerrit. Sorry, I didn't know what I was up against. Move on mister, you have not even been assessed.
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by uzolexis(f): 9:41pm On Mar 02, 2015
ask4bk:
Those of us who belong to the first ever church since Christ don't see most of these points mentioned.

Proudly Catholic kiss

yes oooo!!!!! wink wink
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by ask4bk(m): 10:13pm On Mar 02, 2015
crixtex:

And if you are are calling Catholics Christians
you have some learning to do about Catholics and
Christians.

Lol.
Except u want to tell me that Christianity began in 1520 when the first ever protestant church began.
From Jesus to 1520 only one church existed (The Catholic church).

Go learn history abeg.

Keep on protesting against the true church. No be today.
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Sanuzi(m): 10:45pm On Mar 02, 2015
Abosi31:

Source:
http://www.escapedmydiary..de/2015/03/the-beef-with-nigerian-pastors.html?m=1

Before I begin, I would want to state categorically, that I am not an atheist, I was born into a Christian home, and till now I still believe the world didn’t come about by some silly Big Bang Theory.

Over the weekend I attended two churches; the one a friend dragged me to on Saturday evening, and then on Sunday evening, Assemblies of God Church, my family church. I noticed some things which I didn’t like, and I’m sure the other worshippers did not like them too, but they had become used to them over time.

This is the blog, well, so I’ll just bare my mind here. The reason why it’s ‘Nigerian’ pastors on the title up ahead is because yours faithfully has never attended church service outside the country. So I’m quite assuming only Nigerian pastors do the following.


#1. Screaming into Microphones:

Oga, there’s a reason why the thing is called a microphone. It is to be talked into, or even whispered into (if your voice as loud as mine). There’s no need to shout into the mike. It pains the ears of the worshippers close to the speakers. And then, we all end up leaving church with our ears ringing. The worst part is when you people now scream in tongues during general prayers, unto God- with mike! Shey God will not hear you if you don’t use the mike? Haba!


#2. Breaking Bottles on our Heads:

Have you ever sat in a church and the pastor, during his sermon speaks grammar that makes you lose anointing? Jeez, me too! A pastor will go like: “Go to the extreme end, and call that sister. That demon has to be pursued out now-now!” The demon in the instance will even begin to laugh seriously. One thing that pains me is that these pastors have no regard most times for us, they don’t mind breaking our heads with those unscrupulous grammar and pronunciations,  because they're operating from cloud nine. Make una calm down, thank you.


#3. Staying on one Prayer Point for too long:

I personally detest this. Some pastors will make a simple prayer like, ‘God bless my family’ and turn it into a marathon race. They will stay on one topic for hours, and ginger and ginger us not to stop. It gets boring oh, Pastor. We are Nigerians and we get bored easily.


#4. Asking for too much:

I don’t mean financially this time. Some pastors are like some of our presidential candidates. They are born dictators and control freaks, and only hide behind the pulpit to force us to do things. I personally don’t like when a pastor says: “Walk to fifty-five people and welcome them to service this morning.” It causes problems for ushers as the church becomes rowdy. Also, some pastors like their congregation to repeat every sentence they say fourteen times, or obey every single order to the smallest detail. How will a pastor tell us: “Lift up your right hand and place it on your left breast, then put your left hand under your right shoulder. The anointing is about to flow.”? (Okay I'm exaggerating again), but how on earth are we supposed to pull that off?

#5. Ending every Sermon with Seed-Sowing:

Aha. I put this one last because it's the one you've been expecting to see. These days, even a sermon on how saints will be ruptured on the last day ends with certain pastors making alter calls for people interested in sowing seeds. This is after the church has collected like three times offering already oh. You should stop this oh. Sometimes we your congregation get milked in service to the extent that we also use our transport money to sow a seed. We really humans oh.


If my dear Nigerian pastors can resolve all these, then maybe my beef with them will reduce small. Abi no be so?



Meanwhile welcome to March guys! March on!

culled from :
http://www.escapedmydiary..de/2015/03/the-beef-with-nigerian-pastors.html?m=1
YU ARE ON YOUR OWN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by 0dav2(m): 12:14am On Mar 03, 2015
Abosi31:

lol this guy angry pass me o :-D :-D
nah mosque own worst pass with that their ahuja
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 12:16am On Mar 03, 2015
KoloOyinbo:


Le us please not get into the 'my denomination is Christian and yours is not' argument. IT is most unchristian!
Yea bro thanks...
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 12:17am On Mar 03, 2015
Abosi31:
what a suggestion. "Meet the pastor to resolve the issue." Where you wan see am ni? He'll even think you came for counselling.
you cud go wit someone na.. una go talk things over...
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 12:18am On Mar 03, 2015
ChokolateBoss:


Lol. Catholic bashers.
On d last day, God will tell pple to queue up according to their church 4 judgment.
When he gets to d catholic line, he'll call them unchristian and maybe damn a lot of them to hell. Then when he reaches d line of ur church probably founded a short while ago by one man like that, he'll smile with approval and tick u guys as d 'real' xtians.
U're telling someone he needs learning regarding catholics and xtians. Of cos he needs to learn d 'real' unfathomable knowledge of xtianity from u and ur church. What does he know? He's probably just an ignorant fella and will jump out from d CC once he 'learns' d real xtian ish.
Don't mind him he's still living in darkness (the CC) while u're in d light. Show him d true light. Use those big halogen torches to show him o, don't use those abo.k.i torch cos d light might not shine well.

Ok 1.224billion Catholics are not xtians. U guys are d real xtians. Lemme clap for u

*kpa kpa..........kpa kpa kpa..........kpaaaaa!*




Neeeeeeeeext!

Modified: Nairaland sef and their yeye auto correct. Which one kon be northerner na? I type a.b.o.k.i and dey changed it 2 northerner. A.b.o.k.i na bad word again?
hehehe... buh church no dey heaven na... actually dem berra pass Jw...
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 12:20am On Mar 03, 2015
ask4bk:


Lol.
Except u want to tell me that Christianity began in 1520 when the first ever protestant church began.
From Jesus to 1520 only one church existed (The Catholic church).

Go learn history abeg.

Keep on protesting against the true church. No be today.
So saint paul, st peter, james and co, wea catholics?
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by ask4bk(m): 12:34am On Mar 03, 2015
crixtex:

So saint paul, st peter, james and co, wea catholics?

Yep! Abi they were Christ embassy?

St Peter was the first pope, and at his death leadership moved to clement, and so on and so forth till the JohnPaul ll, Benedict XVI, and Francis of today. There is an unbroken line from Peter to Francis.

History alone (which d catholic church possesses) will tell u the truth d protestants are hiding when they keep on antagonising d first true Church.

Christianity didn't begin last 10yrs or 30yrs with Oyhalikome, TB Joshua, Oyedepo and co. It's as old as Christ in the Catholic Church.

Just go google christianism and learn history. Learn what Christians were there in the first 1500yrs before lutherianism and protestantism.

Then go question ur pastor too grin
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by naijaboiy: 12:40am On Mar 03, 2015
Abosi31:


Bros, someone just updated his status on my facebook with this your comment. lolllll. . .boyzzz are badd
aaaahh! He has to pay for it o.

I don't tolerate plagiarism undecided
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by DrAify(f): 3:07am On Mar 03, 2015
Why do I find it hard to believe this
naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything. undecided

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP! shocked

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers. sad

I never went to that church with my cousin again.
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by naijaboiy: 6:39am On Mar 03, 2015
DrAify:
Why do I find it hard to believe this
Sometimes you Look for the fun and not the Flaw wink
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 12:21pm On Mar 03, 2015
ask4bk:


Yep! Abi they were Christ embassy?

St Peter was the first pope, and at his death leadership moved to clement, and so on and so forth till the JohnPaul ll, Benedict XVI, and Francis of today. There is an unbroken line from Peter to Francis.

History alone (which d catholic church possesses) will tell u the truth d protestants are hiding when they keep on antagonising d first true Church.

Christianity didn't begin last 10yrs or 30yrs with Oyhalikome, TB Joshua, Oyedepo and co. It's as old as Christ in the Catholic Church.

Just go google christianism and learn history. Learn what Christians were there in the first 1500yrs before lutherianism and protestantism.

Then go question ur pastor too grin
So all d churches Christ referred warnings to in Revelations, were catholic churches? Paul's epistles etc.... I am not arguing dat catholic church isnt d first or wateva.. just dat catholics ve digressed frm truth...
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by ask4bk(m): 1:17pm On Mar 03, 2015
crixtex:

So all d churches Christ referred warnings to in Revelations, were catholic churches? Paul's epistles etc.... I am not arguing dat catholic church isnt d first or wateva.. just dat catholics ve digressed frm truth...

Lol! Think again!

The Church never moved from d truth. Humans one day woke up and said that they didn't agree with the Church. So who digressed from who?
The Church never errs in matters of morals and faith.

At least it's a universal truth that the Church is the first, and other sister-churches broke out from it, and still breaking out from among themselves.

Yet, the Church still comprises of 70% of today's christendom. The day ppl get tired of breaking out, they will return to the one, holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church which you all profess in ur Credo.

Salvation no be by force oh
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 4:16pm On Mar 03, 2015
ask4bk:


Lol! Think again!

The Church never moved from d truth. Humans one day woke up and said that they didn't agree with the Church. So who digressed from who?
The Church never errs in matters of morals and faith.

At least it's a universal truth that the Church is the first, and other sister-churches broke out from it, and still breaking out from among themselves.

Yet, the Church still comprises of 70% of today's christendom. The day ppl get tired of breaking out, they will return to the one, holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church which you all profess in ur Credo.

Salvation no be by force oh
A church dat harbours d doctrine of praying wit rosary and through Mary? A church dat doesnt baptise its members by immersion but sprinkling etc... dose are signs of digression brother and I guess dats wat made bible scholars pull out...
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by ask4bk(m): 7:04pm On Mar 03, 2015
crixtex:

A church dat harbours d doctrine of praying wit rosary and through Mary? A church dat doesnt baptise its members by immersion but sprinkling etc... dose are signs of digression brother and I guess dats wat made bible scholars pull out...

Oh Yes! We pray with Mary well well sef. Like the apostles did in Acts 2 before the descent of the Holy Spirit. Abi u don't know she was there?
You folks are missing a lot when u despise praying to the MOTHER OF YOUR GOD to help talk to her pikin on behalf of u. Like she made Jesus do change water to wine for a distressed couple when their wine bin finish. Who else fit mek am change im mind if no be Mary.

Yeah yeah, we pray to the saints too. Simply Bcoz we believe in a life after death. But none of these ppl are worshipped. We only ask them to pray for us. Only God is worshipped.

Bout Baptism. The Church baptisés by
Immersion
Infusion (pouring)
Sprinkling.

Any of this 3 is valid. We also refuse the baptism of most protestant churches simply Bcoz they don't baptise in the name of the Holy Trinity, but only that of Jesus.

Well, I can't believe these are the most pressing points u ve against the Church. Ppl attack us with things more than these na. But there's always an explanation for willing ears.

Why should the Church bother when some self-acclaimed bible scholars refuse our ways and break out? Na today?
People followed and sang praises to Jesus in his days, but in the Gospel of John 6, when they heard the teachings they didn't like they left (verse 67). Did Jesus beg them? No! Instead he asked his apostles "una wan. Go too?". You think it ends there? They will still hear things from the first true Church and go away, but they won't be begged. Ppl are free to think of what they want. They come and go, but the Church will forever remain in its propagation of truth, morals, and faith.

It's true that salvation is not by force but Extra ecclesia nulla salus
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by KoloOyinbo(m): 7:04pm On Mar 03, 2015
crixtex:

A church dat harbours d doctrine of praying wit rosary and through Mary? A church dat doesnt baptise its members by immersion but sprinkling etc... dose are signs of digression brother and I guess dats wat made bible scholars pull out...

The issue of Intersession of Saints etc is another issue but may I address 'sprinkling' as opposed to Total Immersion.

It is not even all the 'Protestant' Churches that insist on Total Immersion.

And before the argument get TOO extreme will all parties please refer to John 14:2 (My Father's house has many rooms; NIV)

Or "In my Father's house are many mansions:" KJV - just for the purist! wink

Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 9:53pm On Mar 03, 2015
ask4bk:


Oh Yes! We pray with Mary well well sef. Like the apostles did in Acts 2 before the descent of the Holy Spirit. Abi u don't know she was there?
You folks are missing a lot when u despise praying to the MOTHER OF YOUR GOD to help talk to her pikin on behalf of u. Like she made Jesus do change water to wine for a distressed couple when their wine bin finish. Who else fit mek am change im mind if no be Mary.

Yeah yeah, we pray to the saints too. Simply Bcoz we believe in a life after death. But none of these ppl are worshipped. We only ask them to pray for us. Only God is worshipped.

Bout Baptism. The Church baptisés by
Immersion
Infusion (pouring)
Sprinkling.

Any of this 3 is valid. We also refuse the baptism of most protestant churches simply Bcoz they don't baptise in the name of the Holy Trinity, but only that of Jesus.

Well, I can't believe these are the most pressing points u ve against the Church. Ppl attack us with things more than these na. But there's always an explanation for willing ears.

Why should the Church bother when some self-acclaimed bible scholars refuse our ways and break out? Na today?
People followed and sang praises to Jesus in his days, but in the Gospel of John 6, when they heard the teachings they didn't like they left (verse 67). Did Jesus beg them? No! Instead he asked his apostles "una wan. Go too?". You think it ends there? They will still hear things from the first true Church and go away, but they won't be begged. Ppl are free to think of what they want. They come and go, but the Church will forever remain in its propagation of truth, morals, and faith.

It's true that salvation is not by force but Extra ecclesia nulla salus
Funny maybe if Jesus died wit electric chair, una go dey use image of chair dey pray, Jesus however isnt on d cross so praying wit rosary amounts to incantations..
So catholics preach sound doctrine? puhahahaha...
d dead cannot pray for u o.. read about d rich man and Lazarus piko...
Immersion is d only acceptable baptism recorded in d bible... do u know wat immersion signifies?
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by Nobody: 9:56pm On Mar 03, 2015
KoloOyinbo:


The issue of Intersession of Saints etc is another issue but may I address 'sprinkling' as opposed to Total Immersion.

It is not even all the 'Protestant' Churches that insist on Total Immersion.

And before the argument get TOO extreme will all parties please refer to John 14:2 (My Father's house has many rooms; NIV)

Or "In my Father's house are many mansions:" KJV - just for the purist! wink


Immersion is d only acceptable baptism of water in d bible... remember Jesus, d ethiopian eunuch etc....
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by KoloOyinbo(m): 10:52pm On Mar 03, 2015
crixtex:

Immersion is d only acceptable baptism of water in d bible... remember Jesus, d ethiopian eunuch etc....

That is not the opinion of all biblical scholars or even a majority of them. Read the Passages and comments below on Mode of Baptism.

Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by ask4bk(m): 11:11pm On Mar 03, 2015
crixtex:

Funny maybe if Jesus died wit electric chair, una go dey use image of chair dey pray, Jesus however isnt on d cross so praying wit rosary amounts to incantations..
So catholics preach sound doctrine? puhahahaha...
d dead cannot pray for u o.. read about d rich man and Lazarus piko...
Immersion is d only acceptable baptism recorded in d bible... do u know wat immersion signifies?

U speaking like a protestant which u r. And u folks will keep protesting against the Church till Jesus comes again. Your "sola scriptura" attitude dates back to over 400 yrs even if u know that many truths still exists in the churches tradition. We own the tradition and the bible. All u ve is "is it in the bible?".
So even if stuffs like infusion ain't in the bible, there r traits of it in the tradition by the Church fathers of the 1st-4th century. Then u wake one day and say u refuse it coz it ain't in d bible.

"grin dead can't pray for u" and u believe in life after death with Christ. Abi una don de protest that one too?

D church said no divorce. King Henry 8 said he wants anoda wife coz he had no son. He broke out and that's d origin of Anglican church u know.
Chris Oyakhilome/Okotie in their protestantism preached no divorce. But once marital problems began they changed mouth and u all swallowed.

The Catholic church has never wavered away from its teachings and faith since Christ till today. It's u guys who want different teachings and coz u can't get it u break out and attack d church.

Jesus just de look us and una
Re: Five things Nigerian Pastors do by samtol4(m): 6:07am On Mar 04, 2015
Mishydoo:



[size=16pt]THEIR PORTION WILL BE THE DEEPEST PART OF HELL IF THERS ANYTHN LYK DAT....I PRAY,FOR THEIR VICTIMS.[/size]
Pray for your self...DESTINY IS PERSONAL

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