THE YOUNG ENGINEER

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the University Of Lagos, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of #1,000,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

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THE UGLY BABY

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Who insulted her more? Driver or the Man?

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THE FART

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the African salad(ugba). The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!"
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit, Ginger!" Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes!"
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit, Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!"

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THE TEACHER AND STUDENTS

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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LIFE'S FOCUS

Life is a field of learning,a school where we are made into what we become in the future,a filed of struggle,where there's always competition to becoming a better you.
An auditorium of lecture,a hall of several assignments,exams and failures,its not how often we pass the exam but how we do rise above the tide of failure? Some people let the set backs of life weight them down never seeking positive outcomes,never optimistic but always moving around with negativity spreading to whoever's ready to listen to them.
Never let the noise of the world derail you,never lose focus and the positive in all you do.
*There's an old saying "What doesn't kill you usually succeed in a second attempt".

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THE BIRD QUESTION

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?”
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.
” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!”
The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.”To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/the-bird-question/
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A Blessed evening from us at Nigerian/Naija Funny Videos. Remember Laughter is the food for the heart.