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How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) - Car Talk - Nairaland

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How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Piyke: 3:34pm On Mar 08, 2015
What are the top signs of a Kazeem?

- Connecting the fans direct to the battery aka thermostat delete angry

Let's add to the list and save motorists...

2 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by GAZZUZZ(m): 3:44pm On Mar 08, 2015
Replaces your single cell radiator with a double cell.

6 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by inze(m): 4:00pm On Mar 08, 2015
- Using 20w50 Engine oil in place of 5w20(30 and the likes) manufacturer recommended, on your next oil change

2 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Piyke: 4:21pm On Mar 08, 2015
How about Kazeem vulcaniser's?

Inflating your tires to the max cold PSI pressure stamped on the tire angry

2 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by abatically(m): 4:35pm On Mar 08, 2015
1.Blocking ur IACV inlet with plastic bag thereby screwing ur car's idling.

2. Telling u check engine light is a normal thing.

6 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Kashif(m): 4:49pm On Mar 08, 2015
Using Abro fluid in lieu of recommended ATF angry

3 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Nobody: 5:02pm On Mar 08, 2015
Slapping any spark plugs into any engine, as long as they fit.
Artificially raising the suspension of a regular passenger car.
Inflating tyres up to 60psi, despite manufacturer's limit. Wing a conservative 28psi.
Sealing a rocker cover with "gum", when a rubber or cork gasket is specified.
Stacking multiple head gasket.
Replacing cylinder heads, and reusing the old head bolts, tightened without a torque wrench.
Fitting a carburettor to an engine, junking the fuel injection just because it had a running fault.
Using plain water in an Engine, despite the manufacturer recommending a 50/50 coolant / water mix.
Washing the oil filter, when it should be replaced.
Running converted carburettor engines without air filters.
Fitting different size wheels and tyres on the SAME axle.
Fitting different size tyres front and rear on a vehicle with permanent 4WD.
Replacing a timing belt, yet reusing old tensioner, idler and water pump (if applicable).
Disconnecting the rear brakes, rather than replace leaking wheel cylinders or calipers.
Cutting and joining wires to bypass sensors / security systems, rather than fix the problem.
Welding broken leaf springs.
Running Abro ATF in EVERY auto tranny, regardless of manufacturer's recommendation.
Refilling axles and manual gearboxes with 20W-50 ENGINE oil.
Drilling holes in wheels to make them fit different axles and hubs.
Welding the viscous clutch of a mechanical fan so it runs at full speed, even when the engine is cold.
Welding broken drive shafts.
Welding broken propshafts.
Welding suspension arms.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Kashif(m): 5:07pm On Mar 08, 2015
Using petrol to wash all auto parts angry

2 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Piyke: 5:12pm On Mar 08, 2015
Claims to be more knowledgeable than engineers at Honda, Toyota etc.

6 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by GAZZUZZ(m): 5:13pm On Mar 08, 2015
Bia siena e too much nah grin

4 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Piyke: 5:25pm On Mar 08, 2015
GAZZUZZ:
Bia siena e too much nah grin

cheesy Siena don expose Kazeem finish

1 Like

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Piyke: 5:29pm On Mar 08, 2015
Deals with Check engine light by removing the bulb behind the dash angry angry

5 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Specialist900(m): 5:46pm On Mar 08, 2015
Piyke:
Deals with Check engine light by removing the bulb behind the dash angry angry
rather removing the battery terminals to temporarily off the check engine light

1 Like

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by FlyboyZee: 5:49pm On Mar 08, 2015
1. Recommending the use of Mobile 1 (0w40 graded) engine oil as the best oil for your car irrespective of what the manufacture recommends even when they (car manufacturer) had taken the pains to write the recommended oil all over the place...

2. Servicing your car injectors ( I wondered why @Siena did not remember this one. lol)...

3. Telling you to ignore warning signs on your dashboard that it is normal for a car to have such lights running and also saying that "those things na for oyibo people, e no dey work for Nigeria"...

4. Using 20w50 graded engine oil to service your car's engine against the car manufacturer's recommendation, while telling you that 'the recommended oil na for their weather wey cold, we for Nigeria na this one (20w50) na im everybody dey use. Na im I even use service Commissioner new jeep now now sef)...

1 Like

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by nurey(m): 6:27pm On Mar 08, 2015
Telling you "no problem oga, I go fix am" after explaining what the problem of your car is without clear explanation of what he is going to do.

After suppressing the problem and you ask him so what caused that his answer will always be (while giving you that how much will you pay smile) "na normal problem but don't worry it won't happen again"

Tomorrow again get ready to call him and the first thing he would say when you tell him the problem has occured again is "hmmm" meaning hmm my cash cow don arrive.

3 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Nobody: 9:05pm On Mar 08, 2015
**Spreads mat, sit on it brings out some chicken and juice. Bites off a huge chunk of fried chicken drumstick and gulps a mouthful of chilled fruit juice** kazeem don suffer o!
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by bravolad(m): 9:40pm On Mar 08, 2015
Using grease in place of gasket gum for a transmission pan. Removing brake pad wear indicator and says it has no function in the car.

1 Like

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by diportivo: 10:15pm On Mar 08, 2015
removing the carbon air filter from your ac unit and telling you 'oga e no need'
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by inze(m): 10:47pm On Mar 08, 2015
diportivo:
removing the carbon air filter from your ac unit and telling you 'oga e no need'

WHAT shocked

Now, this is new to my hearing . . .
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Homguy(m): 12:00am On Mar 09, 2015
grin grin grin kazeem don here am today.
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by abatically(m): 1:53am On Mar 09, 2015
inze:


WHAT shocked

Now, this is new to my hearing . . .

They do that a lot. A certain kazeem actually removed mine and told me it is useless. I almost slapped him before he placed it back.
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by colossus2: 7:34am On Mar 09, 2015
abatically:


They do that a lot. A certain kazeem actually removed mine and told me it is useless. I almost slapped him before he placed it back.
grin grin grin grin grin
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by diportivo: 8:07am On Mar 09, 2015
inze:


WHAT shocked

Now, this is new to my hearing . . .
my oga,na so i see am.i just quietly said okay,and went to buy and fix myself
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Specialist900(m): 8:58am On Mar 09, 2015
A kazeem is one who changes the oil and filter in your car and doesn't know he has to reset the trip meter afterwards.
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by adanny01(m): 10:49am On Mar 09, 2015
- Emptying 5 whole liters of engine oil when the engine takes oly 4.2 litres.
Because i need fuel from the last week fuel scarcity, i took my car which was due for oil change to total filling station in Zone 6 Abj, i used the guise to buy fuel after but had to leave the car inside as they were not servicing then. I came back and found the guy poured all 5 litres in. I dont know how to go about reducing it before i lose my engine.

-Replacing golf mk3 rear suspension and replacing with golf mk2 or someother.

-Removing stabilizer linkages entirely
They say oga e no get use we dey remove am if e dey make noise.

-Installing double cell radiator on every car with an over heating problem for proper cooling

-Installing cut pieces of tyre rubber in place of bushings

-Its not enough to use 20W50 on every car, they must add oil treatment, ha!

4 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by adanny01(m): 10:54am On Mar 09, 2015
Specialist900:
A kazeem is one who changes the oil and filter in your car and doesn't know he has to reset the trip meter afterwards.

The one who did mine reset the maintenance required light but poured 5litre in the car that takes 4.2l. E no sabi gauge engine oil? And i specifically told him not to pour all but he knows better than i do, na Kazeem im still be. Despite working for total oil servicing hundreds of cars with with either 20w50, 15w40 or 5w40 pouring all oil in without checking the dip stick.
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Specialist900(m): 11:13am On Mar 09, 2015
adanny01:
- Emptying 5 whole liters of engine oil when the engine takes oly 4.2 litres.
Because i need fuel from the last week fuel scarcity, i took my car which was due for oil change to total filling station in Zone 6 Abj, i used the guise to buy fuel after but had to leave the car inside as they were not servicing then. I came back and found the guy poured all 5 litres in. I dont know how to go about reducing it before i lose my engine.

-Replacing golf mk3 rear suspension and replacing with golf mk2 or someother.

-Removing stabilizer linkages entirely
They say oga e no get use we dey remove am if e dey make noise.

-Installing double cell radiator on every car with an over heating problem for proper cooling

-Installing cut pieces of tyre rubber in place of bushings

-Its not enough to use 20W50 on every car, they must add oil treatment, ha!
oil treatment still dey? grin. E don tay i hear such term o
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Specialist900(m): 11:15am On Mar 09, 2015
adanny01:


The one who did mine reset the maintenance required light but poured 5litre in the car that takes 4.2l. E no sabi gauge engine oil? And i specifically told him not to pour all but he knows better than i do, na Kazeem im still be. Despite working for total oil servicing hundreds of cars with with either 20w50, 15w40 or 5w40 pouring all oil in without checking the dip stick.
na gobe you don see be that o. cheesy
Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Piyke: 11:39am On Mar 09, 2015
Siena:
Slapping any spark plugs into any engine, as long as they fit.
Artificially raising the suspension of a regular passenger car.
Inflating tyres up to 60psi, despite manufacturer's limit. Wing a conservative 28psi.
Sealing a rocker cover with "gum", when a rubber or cork gasket is specified.
Stacking multiple head gasket.
Replacing cylinder heads, and reusing the old head bolts, tightened without a torque wrench.
Fitting a carburettor to an engine, junking the fuel injection just because it had a running fault.
Using plain water in an Engine, despite the manufacturer recommending a 50/50 coolant / water mix.
Washing the oil filter, when it should be replaced.
Running converted carburettor engines without air filters.
Fitting different size wheels and tyres on the SAME axle.
Fitting different size tyres front and rear on a vehicle with permanent 4WD.
Replacing a timing belt, yet reusing old tensioner, idler and water pump (if applicable).
Disconnecting the rear brakes, rather than replace leaking wheel cylinders or calipers.
Cutting and joining wires to bypass sensors / security systems, rather than fix the problem.
Welding broken leaf springs.
Running Abro ATF in EVERY auto tranny, regardless of manufacturer's recommendation.
Refilling axles and manual gearboxes with 20W-50 ENGINE oil.
Drilling holes in wheels to make them fit different axles and hubs.
Welding the viscous clutch of a mechanical fan so it runs at full speed, even when the engine is cold.
Welding broken drive shafts.
Welding broken propshafts.
Welding suspension arms.

SMH at the weldings angry

One Kazeem in the North 6 years ago cracked my rotor in the process of replacing a broken wheel stud and hid the damage from me. He just welded it angry angry
It was my mech down south who detected the evil fix months later. I know better now. Never leave your car unattended at a workshop in Naija.

1 Like

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by DECOtech(m): 5:32pm On Mar 09, 2015
Hello brothers and sisters, Kazeem na person name oh!

Make una free this guy nah

1 Like

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by ollyruffy: 6:27pm On Mar 09, 2015
Cutting and joining cables any how within the engine bay and chassis.

Using household cables within engine bay, saying wire na wire oga

Using under rated relay. Oga relay na relay.

Using its tongue to test for electric current on a piece of cable


Asking you to drain and fill ATF every 3 months without other factors.

Inflate tires to 60psi but his gauge reads 40psi.

2 Likes

Re: How To Spot A 'kazeem' (kazeem's Top Fixes) by Nobody: 6:32pm On Mar 09, 2015
Kazeem don suffer. grin grin

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