Victoriousvic:
Kazeem don suffer.

All Kazeem's tricks must be exposed

The one I hate the most comes when you try to offer advice or guide Kazeem, he just responds "Oga na my work, you wan teach me my work?"

^^^ one distraught fellow, courtesy kazeem's stunts.

'misplacing' abs rings and cables 'cos dem gud for only oyibo roads.

My braking has never been the same

Working on AC without a vacuum pump or manifold guage

Victoriousvic:
Kazeem don suffer.

Oh i forgot this big one that you will find in almost every Nigerian car.

Short circuiting fuses with no regards to consequence of rating.

Siena:
Slapping any spark plugs into any engine, as long as they fit.
Artificially raising the suspension of a regular passenger car.
Inflating tyres up to 60psi, despite manufacturer's limit. Wing a conservative 28psi.
Sealing a rocker cover with "gum", when a rubber or cork gasket is specified.
Stacking multiple head gasket.
Replacing cylinder heads, and reusing the old head bolts, tightened without a torque wrench.
Fitting a carburettor to an engine, junking the fuel injection just because it had a running fault.
Using plain water in an Engine, despite the manufacturer recommending a 50/50 coolant / water mix.
Washing the oil filter, when it should be replaced.
Running converted carburettor engines without air filters.
Fitting different size wheels and tyres on the SAME axle.
Fitting different size tyres front and rear on a vehicle with permanent 4WD.
Replacing a timing belt, yet reusing old tensioner, idler and water pump (if applicable).
Disconnecting the rear brakes, rather than replace leaking wheel cylinders or calipers.
Cutting and joining wires to bypass sensors / security systems, rather than fix the problem.
Welding broken leaf springs.
Running Abro ATF in EVERY auto tranny, regardless of manufacturer's recommendation.
Refilling axles and manual gearboxes with 20W-50 ENGINE oil.
Drilling holes in wheels to make them fit different axles and hubs.
Welding the viscous clutch of a mechanical fan so it runs at full speed, even when the engine is cold.
Welding broken drive shafts.
Welding broken propshafts.
Welding suspension arms.

Come Siena, you be senior Kazeem.

Kikikikikikki... Oh boy!

@ Siena.

Walahi any Kazeem that have the knowledge to do all that you listed should have his name upgraded to Rasheed.

I have successfully taught my own Kazeem the difference between engine oils, the ratings and how to identify the required oil rating from the filler cap. Next in my project is convincing the Foga (Vulcanizer) at my junction that my tire needs only 32psi and not 40 or 45psi.

Kazeems come in various shapes and sizes.

The 'most interesting' I've come across is a well-known autodoctor that runs a very informative radio programme.
I took my 2007 kia cerato car to their workshop because of some vibration.

They gave me a long list of things they would change: ranging from engine seat to fuel nozzle because each of those things could cause the problem. Gave me a bill that was over N300,000 (yes, over three hundred thousand naira).

I asked whether some of the things could be repaired rather than changed and they said, "We don't repair things here, we change". I jejely drove my car away from the place and gave it to a classic Kazeem who sorted the vibration out. Total cost: N27,000 (yes, twenty seven thousand naira). That was about 6months ago and the car has been working well since then.

Okay, before the auto champions ask me too many detailed questions I can't answer. All I know is that the first Kazeem had a wonderful sense of humour and his own trick is to list for you all possible causes of the problem and tell you they will be changed without getting a specific diagnosis of the problem.

I saw one Kazeem mod recently...removal of the Automatic tensioner This was done on a Honda accord (2000 V6).

Cool:
Kazeems come in various shapes and sizes.

The 'most interesting' I've come across is a well-known autodoctor that runs a very informative radio programme.
I took my 2007 kia cerato car to their workshop because of some vibration.

They gave me a long list of things they would change: ranging from engine seat to fuel nozzle because each of those things could cause the problem. Gave me a bill that was over N300,000 (yes, over three hundred thousand naira).

I asked whether some of the things could be repaired rather than changed and they said, "We don't repair things here, we change". I jejely drove my car away from the place and gave it to a classic Kazeem who sorted the vibration out. Total cost: N27,000 (yes, twenty seven thousand naira). That was about 6months ago and the car has been working well since then.

Okay, before the auto champions ask me too many detailed questions I can't answer. All I know is that the first Kazeem had a wonderful sense of humour and his own trick is to list for you all possible causes of the problem and tell you they will be changed without getting a specific diagnosis of the problem.

Excellent post. The same thing happened to me. My 2005 Honda accord had a few problems sometines last year, the engine was vibrating, why engine was shorting oil and the car takes a longer time to accelerate. I took it to one reputable shop in oregun. First they charged me 10,000 naira for scan( I have my own scanner and have already pulled out some codes but they insisted they must use their own scanner). After the 10k, they gave me a long list , from abs pump, abs sensors, baro sensor throttle position sensor, mass air flow sensor, ecu, etc etc. The total bill was 390,000 (yes, three hundred and ninety thousand naira). I asked them will that stop the engine shorting oil, they said NO. That they will first solve all that and then later drop the engine and that would be another bill entirely which would cost another 300k.

I just kukuma told them I'll be back, took my car to my kazeem, bought a tokunbo engine for 180k and throttle position sensor for 25k and car came back to life. The car has been wonderful since then, I spent about 220k fixing what a 'reputable shop' wanted to fix for 700k plus. Now who is the real kazeem here?

We are too quick to blame kazeem when it is obvious we all need them. How many people can dare take their cars to Honda place or coscharis or Toyota? The truth is most of these reputable shops don't know what they are doing. What they do is throw every parts at ur car, (both faulty and good ones), at the end they know one of the parts will solve the problem rather than actually taking time to trace a problem. and they end up charging exorbitant fees. Oh and at the end they still want to charge me 10k for servicing (changing of oil and filter), and guess which oil they use? Mobil super xhp 20w50 for a 2005 Honda accord. Who's is the real kazeem here? These are cooperate kazeems.

Hit like if u think kazeems are the reason most of us could drive our cars.