Marriage is considered as a step towards lifelong happiness and peace. It is a strong bond that unites two people forever. But at times, this bond becomes unbearable and the commitment turns into a burden. Usually, couples feel that it is things like cheating, fights, independent lifestyle, etc. that strain their relationship. However, there is more than what meets your eyes.

Some things can be so small that you might not notice them at first. And these seemingly small things can be the ones to wreak most havoc in your ‘happily ever after’ paradise. We bring you here five such common relationship mistakes that might even lead to divorce. Do not worry, we also tell you how you can mend your ways and save your marriage from disaster.

#1. Taking ‘selflessness’ for granted

In a marriage, altruism, also known as self-sacrifice or selflessness, is an idealistic word that everybody loves to hear. You feel comfortable and happy when you know that your spouse is ready to do anything to fulfil your wishes, without caring for his or her own needs. At times, you may start taking your partner’s selfless behaviour for granted, knowingly or unknowingly. Remember that every individual wants to feel important and expects respect from his or her better half.

For a happy married life, it is essential for both the partners to feel confident to express their their emotions and live with self-esteem. Each one should be able to clearly state his or her views and opinions when a decision is taken in the family. Suppression of desires and needs can never lead to happiness. It is essential to speak up about your preferences, and express your ideas in a tactful manner instead of getting into arguments.

#2. Becoming negative or sarcastic

Another common thing that can destroy your marriage is negativity. Many people express negativity towards their spouse’s views and opinions, pass sarcastic comments, mock them or show negative gestures to display their frustration and disagreement. Negativity leads to weakening of trust and the partners become distant.

To build a good relationship, it is wise to be aware of your own gestures and speech patterns, and put in the effort to eliminate all negativity from your mind. This would help to keep negativity away from your actions and words. When you do not like your spouse’s action or behaviour, always give a feedback which is not ‘you’ centric but ‘I’ centric. Tell your partner that you do not like what the other is doing, rather than accuse or point fingers.

#3. Leaving the intimacy behind

Physical intimacy in a marriage is important as it strengthens the emotional bond between the two partners. Lack of physical intimacy can lead to negativity and distance in the relationship, which can even lead to divorce.
It is not just lovemaking, but also kisses and holding hands that mean a lot in married life. These little physical contacts are important for you to establish a strong relationship. Little acts, like cuddling and hugging can also become the keys to a long and happy married life.

#4. Not defining relationship roles

Couples spend months, and at times even years, planning their wedding. They also spend time to get to know each other’s likes and interests during the courtship phase. But, what most couples fail to do is define their post-wedding roles. They expect their partner to take on the roles defined by the society, or what they have seen in their family, without realising whether the other person is comfortable in doing so or not. Say, your wife might not be comfortable being the one who waits on you hand and foot. Or, your hubby might not be comfortable with your work timings after you start a family.

Spend time talking to each other about what you are comfortable doing in your relationship. What you want from your relationship is not just a pre-wedding talk, it is also something that you need to keep revisiting again and again, to make sure that your relationship always stays on the right track.

#5. Neglecting the ‘bond’

When you are dating, you invest a lot of time and energy in your relationship. But, once you are married, you forget about it all. You get busy with your professional lives and family, so much so that you start neglecting your significant other. This especially becomes even more evident when a couple distances each other emotionally and physically, citing work and children as the reason.

Neglecting the ‘bond’ is the key culprit that tears two people apart. No matter how long you have been married or how busy you are, always take out some time for one another. Have at least a meal together every day, or take your sweetheart out on a date every other weekend. Do not neglect the bond that you two share, and never take it for granted.

To maintain a happy married life, it is essential for both partners to put some extra effort to warm up and nurture this relationship of love. So, save your relationship from these silly mistakes before it turns disasterous!

http://romanticupdates.com/2015/03/5-incredibly-silly-mistakes-that-can-definitely-end-your-marriage/

I will def take note of these for future planning

Hmmm.. Very 'educating' (Nairalanders, take correction).

Good piece. Noteworthy.