42 Exceptional Ways to 'Kill' Your Husband

However, it is a known fact that having children in a union should not put a stop to being affectionate about your partner. Many marriages break down these days because this generation of women have become so career-minded to the point that even the obvious needs of the man are left unattended to. Women no longer ‘kill’ their men, they surprisingly allow them to run wild and cheat anyhow.

According to Laila Ijeoma, if you want to kill your husband, you must become a Ninja, you must first learn the ropes and master the use of weapons. Nobody becomes a Pro without tutelage. A Ninja must learn to sacrifice her happiness for the other. She must be ruthless in executing the commands. She must be swift and deadly. Here are 42 things to do as a woman, to kill your husband with love and affection….

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife! A perfect wife is one who doesn’t expect a perfect husband. How we handle our husband’s shortcomings reveals more about our own character than our husbands

2. Dress in a pleasant and an attractive way. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day. Go to the market, buy push ups and G-strings.

3. Smell good.


4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks into the house. Give him a little mental break or you will unconsciously send him to a beer joint.

5. Stop nagging, it puts him off.

6. Never talk about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, do it yourself and do not run to a third party unless its a life threatening issue. Mediate any injustice done, talk it over after he calms down. Allow him whenever he is angry.

7. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

8. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights.

9. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you have been waiting all day for him to come back. Smile and hug him.

10. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

11. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

12. Always tell him he’s the best husband ever.

13. Call his family often.

14. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

15. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.

16. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

17. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

18. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.

19. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

20. Crack jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

21. Learn to make his favorite dish. If he likes suya, learn to make suya, if it is pepper soup and agidi, learn and make it at home, isi ewu etc The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

22. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

23. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

24. Love him and cherish him. Tell your husband you love him countless times. .

25. Have a race or play a game with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

26. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, you will not get FAT and frumpy.

27. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

28. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

29. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp. If your schedules will not allow, find a way to get it done by taking it to a dry cleaner.

30. Always let him know that you appreciate him for his support of the home and the money he brings home. It excites him to do more.

31. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts. You do not need to spend a huge amount of money on it, whatever it is, he will be glad you have the heart of giving.

32. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies. support his football team.

33. Look attractive and play with him. INITIATE SEX

34. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy.

35. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

36. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.

37. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.

38. Always pray for him. Ask God to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day. Ask him to protect that bond .

39. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (that’s a killer!)

40. Strive for Gods love first and foremost! If all wives try to seek Gods love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if God loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

41. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel.

42. Men are big babies, make them feel loved. Mother them and make sure you ‘breast feed’ him once in a while.

Despite the challenges and difficulties in doing all this, if you manage to accomplish at least a good percentage of this, just sit back and watch your man become yours forever without any hassles!

READ MORE: http://www.naij.com/406118-42-ways-to-kill-your-man.html

Lol @ bosom feed.....

Nice
But no one is perfect
Just do your best

Nice one, cant help but agree... I really don't understand why women talk ill of their husbands with others.

Orijin102:

Dem don ban orijin101

OK.....they banned the account not the person, ORJIN still remains.

Mxm do most of these for your hubby and he will treat you the way they treated your grandma. Please be yourself, be good but don't always go out of your way or you break down yourself!

Wow! If only women will heed to this there will be less divorce cases in our society.
Like you rightly said no man will want to have another man in his house as a wife.

annazubi:
Mxm do most of these for your hubby and he will treat you the way they treated your grandma. Please be yourself, be good but don't always go out of your way or you break down yourself!

......... and you think women of today are better mothers/wives?

That number 37 is very important..ladies take note.

Hmnnn. Wonders

At 6. what if she is not pretending? Sometimes you need to talk to someone or people who can actually help. Why die in silence.

Then 9. Race to the door haba!

16. why should he yell? can't he communicate without scaring the wife?

20. This na work the woman has to transform herself into a comedian.

25. what is he? 5 years old?

About No.40 no one needs to strive for God's love it is freely given. God loves already there is no IF here, God is love i believe its about accepting God's love not striving for it.

42. Men are big babies and need to be mothered. Na wa!

In this write up what will the husband be doing the woman seems to have it all covered.

Some men are ingrates! They r never pleased with anything. I do more than all those stated...and any little misunderstanding maybe I said something jokinly and he misunderstands it and feels offended he can keep malice wit me for days on end, cos he knows I hate silent treatment. abeg they r not worth it, that hw I feel right now.

I am not perfect, but I love my hubby die! If only he wl love less of himself and appreciate me small...babies ko, diapers jii!

[/quote] 42. Men are big babies and need to be mothered. Na wa!

[/quote]

They totally are.

Slavery alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shortgun:

......... and you think women of today are better mothers/wives?

mxm