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Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? - Family - Nairaland

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Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:20pm On Mar 23, 2015
So I recently moved out of my parents' place at Ajah to my own mini flat at Oniru. This happened about 2 months ago, January precisely. The problem is..my parents have been angry ever since I took the decision to leave.

The facts:

I'm 24
I'm the third child of five
I've been working for four years in the corporate world.
Intelligent, smart, very nice, the dream of every parent, except for the last part...
I'm gay.

Reasons I moved out:

1.The traffic from Ajah to my work place in VI can be killing and I have not intention to continue that way into the future, whatever number of years my parents may feel I should stay with them more for. I hate spending time in traffic, to and fro, and it can be very much frustrating for the most part.

2. I need my privacy. My parents are the very clingy type who wanna know every thing that's going on in your life. Who visits you, who you visit, the state the person is from and even down to the person's local government. If I dare stay a night out of home, even after giving them an excuse, na quarrel the next day be that. My mum feels i should actually "marry" her first, before thinking of marrying any other girl.

3. I actually wanna start distancing myself a little from my parents, to slowly let the know the real me..and the fact that their expectation of me may not hold, especially with me being gay. I feel if I start distancing myself, I won't have to be totally depressed, along with them, in the event that they finally get to know about my sexuality...which they may soon come to know about.

Apart from that I just feel i need some space at this time of my life. Just staying on my own. I probably don't have enough time before the talks of marriage starts creeping in and the pressure starts coming from all angles to get married to a girl. So I just wanna have the pleasure of actually living my life while visiting my parents and siblings occasionally. So far I've been enjoying staying alone. Finally feel I'm free from just so many ropes. I can invite anyone over without having to explain myself, keep late nights at the office without having to feel the need to report at home why I'm staying out late, or even party out late in rare cases.

Like I said the whole concept of staying alone doesn't fit in well with my parents and I often see the sad face my mum wears whenever I visit, and it's starting to make me feel guilty. But again, don't I also deserve to be happy on my own?? I've tried talking to them but they still feel I'm too young to be staying alone, and that it's just not right. I mean this is four years of me being financially independent. Why should I continue staying with them.


While all these may be too late since it's been 2 months already, I'd still like to know people's opinion on this. Maybe I'm the wrong one, or maybe there are just some things I still need to discuss with them. Dunno . What do you guys think?

37 Likes 1 Share

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Pvin: 4:21pm On Mar 23, 2015
Good move as a man, with time your parents will come to terms with you. And everything will normalize.
Am proud of you to come out open as a gay (though am not a gay).

56 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:23pm On Mar 23, 2015

I'm actually proud of you.

27 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Mar 23, 2015
Your decision to leave was the best, considering the reasons you mentioned above.

Wow, its nice to see that you have the courage to tell us about your sexuality, especially with living in a country as ours.

I just wish you the best as you undertake this new phase of your life

24 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by resocorp: 4:28pm On Mar 23, 2015
Give it time, either they'll come around or you'll come around.

5 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by XBLadez: 4:29pm On Mar 23, 2015
I moved out of my father's house when I was just 17. I was in the university then, and I would only visit from school, to see my mum and siblings. I got a job immediately after school through a friend, squatted with him for a year and was able to rent my own place. My dad always calls me the incredible one grin

72 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Woged2005(f): 4:29pm On Mar 23, 2015
Once he becomes a 'Man'. Then the question is who is a 'Man'? Not all humans with 'ball's standing on two legs are men.

"And for this reason a 'Man' shall leave his mother and father and join his wife and they two shall become one"

31 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by EagleScribes: 4:30pm On Mar 23, 2015
When he is mature enough to stand alone.

Maturity is a function of the brain and mind

Age is just a number

15 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Solomon009(m): 4:30pm On Mar 23, 2015
As long as u r 18, u r Good to go!

4 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Alexgeneration(m): 4:30pm On Mar 23, 2015
OP,in as much you can take good care of yourself,you're financially independent,take responsibility for every of your actions,believe me you're matured enough to leave your parents house.

5 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Sezua(m): 4:30pm On Mar 23, 2015
season film

5 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by delishpot: 4:31pm On Mar 23, 2015
Good move OP

3 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by shoturtrap(m): 4:31pm On Mar 23, 2015
Well don't know what to tell u now
Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:32pm On Mar 23, 2015
When he is both psychologically and financially mature.

It has nothing to do with age.

You better be above 18 and must have finished school sha.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:32pm On Mar 23, 2015
You're gay? Congrats.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by timilehin007(m): 4:32pm On Mar 23, 2015
Guy
Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by demmy0325(m): 4:32pm On Mar 23, 2015
..
Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by GodMode: 4:32pm On Mar 23, 2015
When u have a salary that can pay rent, transport and feeding and you'll still have savings.

edited: YOU'RE GAAAAAY

Now this story is just another survey... Indirect way of getting reactions...

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:33pm On Mar 23, 2015
missclasssy:
Your decision to leave was the best, considering the reasons you mentioned above.

Wow, its nice to see that you had the courage to tell your parents about your sexuality, especially with living in a country as ours.

I just wish you the best as you undertake this new phase of your life

i actually haven't told them about that yet, which is another reason I moved. I want to be at a safe zone when i do tell them eventually, and not be sent "parking".

2 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by caesaraba(m): 4:33pm On Mar 23, 2015
Lol! 24, working in the corporate world for the past four years. Then Gay? Why does this story sound..... Anyway, enjoy yourself.

36 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Asuokaa: 4:33pm On Mar 23, 2015
U decide for yourself...cause I don't think you can..

A man that wants to do a real thing don't ask people for opinions

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by adewumiopeyemi(m): 4:33pm On Mar 23, 2015
SO FAR U ARE NOT A LADY U CAN STAY IN UR FATHER HOUSE AS MANY YEARS U WISH #IS UR FATHER HOUSE# NOT ANY BODY HOUSE

6 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by stan241(m): 4:33pm On Mar 23, 2015
Actually nice seeing you are able to fend for yourself at this early age i admire that BUT never expect your parents to "understand" your being "gay" cus its an anomaly...you have to give them as much time as possible to process it and not just expect them to understand immediately

7 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by mumumugu(m): 4:34pm On Mar 23, 2015
As long as my dad doesn't complain
Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by belamour(m): 4:34pm On Mar 23, 2015
A man can move out of his parent aus as soon as he is sure of taking responsibilities of himself. They re scared u might not be able to look after yourself but it is a good decision you moved ahead in life. Wishing you dah best in life.

4 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Deolaw: 4:34pm On Mar 23, 2015
I stopped reading it when I saw that you are gay. When you have repented come back to write more on ''best age to move out of your parents' house''.


God have mercy on you

God forgive you

God bless you






Amen!

154 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Nobody: 4:35pm On Mar 23, 2015
Any time yu re fit enuf to foot yur bills

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by stan241(m): 4:35pm On Mar 23, 2015
frankmishael1:
anybody against the re-election of president Good luck Jonathan, we would open the gate of hell for them

in Jesus Christ our God we stand.
must you drop this your crap on every single thread?

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by mrbillz(m): 4:35pm On Mar 23, 2015
As soon as you are comfortable to do so and knowing fully you won't end up regretting it...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Was I Wrong To Have Moved Out Of My Parents' Place? by Jengbetiele: 4:35pm On Mar 23, 2015
Sorry 'mature' has no past tense...sorry for pointing this out, I have made same mistake overtime and I was corrected where I least expected.
EagleScribes:
When he is matured enough to stand alone.

Maturity is a function of the brain and mind

Age is just a number

15 Likes 3 Shares

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